My Fiancée Hates Me

I woke up to a morning where my tears had already stained my face.

I checked my calendar and understood the reason why I would recall such a thing. That day was coming up...I had circled it largely on my calendar in red every year.

For the rest of the week, I was repeatedly found blanking out. It got to the point that it was so bad that I was forced to take a day off. Furthermore, I was told to bring Garett the Workaholic. "Maura, that tyrant..." Garett grumbled.

"I'm sorry... I think Maura was worried about me, so she asked you to come watch over me."

"I don't mind!" he said hurriedly. He coughed into his fist. "I don't mind going along with you... You seem like you would run into a busy street by yourself."

"Is there anywhere that you would like to go?" I asked him.

"Normally, shouldn't I ask in this situation?" Garett asked.

We were walking along a busy district, but we were still in a sea of strangers and essentially alone together.

...This could not be considered a date, right?

"I am not well acquainted with Nariel's shopping district..."

"Really? You don't go out to buy clothes? I see you often with new clothes on all the time."

"My mother does shop and sends clothes over as well as my aunt over here. I have not really explored the district by myself either since I am afraid of getting lost. Ever since I came here, I have been managing with only my things that I brought from home."

"Is that really enough?"

"My basic necessities are there. I just do not have anything that makes me feel more comfortable. If I wanted to go somewhere... maybe a home goods store?"

"Understood," Garett said as he suddenly made a hard turn.

I wonder what he understood...

We were suddenly standing in front of a very girly store with plenty of stuffed teddy bears and lace.

"...This is?"

"...Maura often drags me here, so go in," he said as he lightly pressed on my back.

I listened to him and went in. The store had a very cute atmosphere with all of the goods. When I looked around, there were only women. Garett only followed behind quietly or put his eye in the mugs or simple looking goods.

"See anything you like?" Garett asked.

I actually really liked the large almond colored teddy bear with emerald-colored eyes and a large green ribbon with an emerald jewel pendant in the window display.

Since I was with Garett, I thought that it might be a bit too childish if I suddenly went for it.

"The mugs are a practical item," I said as I picked up one.

"I see...I am going outside then. Feel free to look around more," Garett said as he walked towards the exit.

I thought it was my chance to buy the teddy bear or at least put it on layaway. The shop clerk told me that it was already reserved by someone before me. I left the shop in a dejected manner.

"I am done," I told Garett.

"Your load is quite light..."

"I am the kind of person that does not know what they want unless I write it down first."

"That is a shame," he said as he swung a bag over his shoulder.

I opened my hands and saw that Garett had smoothly taken the bag from me without me noticing.

Garett is going to make some lucky girl really happy one day.

My eyes were suddenly drawn to a men's accessory shop.

As if reading my mind, Garett gravitated towards it.

"I want to take a look in here if you don't mind," he said.

"Not at all!"

Garett seemed to be looking at handkerchiefs.

My eyes were drawn to the pocket watch chains.

Erik had always carried around his grandfather's gold pocket watch with an emerald jewel center and special engravings. I saw the exact same chain he used for it in this shop.

I bought it on the spur of the moment and began to hate myself.

Why did I buy it?

I remembered Erik saying that he spent a long time searching for the perfect chain...

Is this me being spiteful?

I will just add it to that box then...

When we came back to the dormitory, Garett and I were rained down upon with colorful confetti.

"Happy Birthday, Garett!" everyone said.

"I didn't prepare anything special...I got you a mug," I said as I pulled out the simple porcelain mug with one green stripe.

"Thank you," he said as he accepted it.

"From all of us, we got you a golden pocket watch with the Exurbia Library insignia engraved on it," Maura said as she handed Garett the watch.

I handed him the chain I bought earlier as well.

"Were you not going to buy this for yourself?"

"I do not use a pocket watch," I told him. "It would be more useful in your hands."

It was not like I could return it or give it to the person I wanted to...

"Thank you, everyone," Garett said as he accepted the gifts.

Just before I entered my room, Garett stopped me.

"I have something for you too."

He handed me a very large bag from behind his back.

"Me? Normally, I should be the one preparing gifts for today, right?"

I opened the large bag and saw the bear I was eyeing in the store before in front of my eyes.

I was told that someone had reserved it. That person was Garett? When did he even have time to get it? Was it when I bought the chain?

"How did you know that I wanted this?"

"... You were staring at it like you wanted it for a long time. I thought you might have held back because of me, so I reserved it and went back for it while you were shopping. I always thought it was a strange thing... Girls like violent carnivores, right?"

"You are not wrong..."

"I just want to show my appreciation for you..." Garett said as he averted his gaze. "You have been helpful to me since you came here."

"Thank you," I told him as I cradled the bear that was half my size in my arms.

I had gone back to my room with the large bear and threw myself into my bed as I hugged the soft bear tightly.

Erik and Garett had the same birthdays.

With that face, those words, and that voice... Almost everything about Garett reminded me of Erik. This must be God's way in being cruel to me.

I went to my closet and dragged out a brown treasure box and opened it. I placed the mug I bought inside of the chest and tucked the box away in my closet.

My treasure box of empty wishes...

Every year for every holiday, I went out of my way to buy the same gifts for Erik as I did for my first life and rewrote all of my letters to him.

I never sent one thing out and unhealthily continued to collect the box of memories that never happened. Even if Erik would never come to know of them, I never wanted to forget that I once loved him or that my efforts from back then were all futile...00000