DRAMA NOVEL ONLINE My Dark Prince: Chapter 58
You know I’m your safe place.
Obviously, in addition to getting shitfaced, Oliver had also gotten high.
How could he think I came back because I thought he could protect me from anything?
I kicked off my slippers and perched on the edge of the king-size bed, hugging my knees to my chest. I’d returned to help Sebastian. That’s all. Well, and because, logistically, it made more sense to find a place and car in Los Angeles before I got there.
This had nothing to do with Oliver.
Oliver was dead to me.
The phone on my nightstand pinged. I frowned. Nobody had my number other than Sebastian and Oliver, who programmed his number in the day he’d given it to me. I palmed it, peering at the screen.
Ollie vB: We should do a movie night.
Ollie vB: A SLUMBER PARTY.
Briar Auer: What part of I HATE YOUR GUTS didn’t you understand?
Ollie vB: All of it? You chose to stay here. This is huge. We’re going to become best friends.
Briar Auer: No, we’re not.
Ollie vB: Best friends who occasionally have sex with each other.
Briar Auer: I hadn’t realized you, Romeo, and Zach were so close …
Ollie vB: You do realize Dallas and Farrow will relentlessly try to befriend you, right? They love you.
Briar Auer: The feeling is not mutual.
Ollie vB: Yes, it is. They are slightly deranged, but fun and harmless. And they have good hearts. You’re just scared to knock down those walls and give people a chance.
I hated that he spoke as if he still knew me.
I hated even more that he was right.
I’d reached my early thirties, and still, I’d never allowed myself to truly let go. Sure, I had friends and boyfriends along the years (including Grant, who was not the dreamboat I’d made him out to be), but I always kept it at surface level.
I was scared to get attached, scared to get hurt, and more than anything – scared to be proven, once again, that I wasn’t worthy of love.
Briar Auer: Speaking of walls, it doesn’t look like you’ve ever had a steady girlfriend …
Ollie vB: I actually did.
My heart dropped as he began typing again, the three dots dancing on my screen.
Ollie vB: You.
Briar Auer: And since me?
Ollie vB: No one else compared.
Briar Auer: Don’t blow smoke up my ass.
Ollie vB: Okay. Anything else you want me to do to it? I’m open to suggestions …
Briar Auer: So funny.
Ollie vB: I would love to take you on a date. To try again.
Briar Auer: No.
Ollie vB: In all seriousness, I’m not joking. I couldn’t find anyone I felt half as much for as I felt for you, so I didn’t try.
Briar Auer: Then, why did you dump me without as much as a goodbye?
I stared at the screen.
I wouldn’t have had the guts to ask him this face-to-face. In all honesty, I had to flip my phone over, too frightened of the answer that awaited me, even in text. After a few minutes passed without a telltale ping, I righted my screen.
The tiny dots danced at the bottom. Oliver typed and stopped, typed and stopped. With every cycle, my heart sank lower down my body. Finally, a message came through.
Ollie vB: I went through something very bad and traumatic that summer, almost as soon as I got home from Paris. I was ashamed, and I panicked. I did something horrible. I agreed to something I shouldn’t have. I didn’t want you anywhere near me. I thought I would ruin your life, and you didn’t deserve any more pain. I should’ve communicated this to you. But I was young, and confused, and in agony. I’ll never forgive myself for it, so I’m not going to expect forgiveness from you. But I’m not going to lie here and say that I don’t wish for it. I want you, Briar. For real.
Tears pricked the back of my eyeballs, but I refused to let them fall. No. I wouldn’t break. Wouldn’t make the same mistake I did as a teenager. Not when I didn’t even have the courage to ask him about the other girl. Why he cheated. If there were more and how many.
If Ollie had managed to destroy me so thoroughly back then, I could only guess the damage he’d inflict now.
Oliver von Bismarck would not find his way back into my heart.
He couldn’t.
I’d already locked it up and threw away the key.