Chapter 142 Not Anymore
Evelyn
On my way back home, thoughts of Cameron consumed my mind entirely. The interaction with him had been nothing short of exhilarating. But I couldn't shake the doubt that I felt this way because so much of him reminded me of Jacob-his composed presence, his confident demeanor, his boldness-it all harkened back to him. I hated that I liked it.
"God, why am I even thinking about that jerk?" I groaned, pressing down on the accelerator, speeding the car.
Speaking of cars, I loved Cameron's. It was a fiery red beast, one I might have accepted a ride in if I hadn't declined his offer to pick me up for our date. Although he had his conditions before I left-next time, if I deemed him worthy enough, he would pick me up and drop me home. I wasn't sure what he found appealing about it, but it seemed to be something he desired, so maybe next time I'd allow it.
But then again, I wasn't certain if I wanted another date. It wasn't about him-it was about me. I couldn't get that one man out of my head, and using Cameron as a distraction, would that be fair? "Fuck what's right or wrong, Evelyn!" I hissed. "You liked that guy, so you're absolutely fucking going on another date. Get that bastard out of your damn head."
Engulfed in a flurry of internal arguments, I finally arrived home. I parked the car in the garage before stepping into the house.
"Clara, Dad, I'm home," I announced, hanging up my keys and stepping into the hall. But as I entered, I saw the last thing I expected.
There sat my heartbreaker on the sofa, seemingly waiting for me, his eyes locked with mine, and I froze.
My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.
No, he couldn't possibly be here. My mind must be playing tricks on me I've had enough of these hallucinations already.
I blinked twice, attempting to adjust to the scene and convince myself that he was actually here.
I watched as he slowly stood up, looking barely put together unlike all the other times. He appeared tired, homesick perhaps, with an expression that hinted at being on the verge of giving up. I held my breath at the sight.
He was actually here.
Don't cry, Evelyn. Don't you fucking dare shed a tear.
"Evelyn..." My name fell from his lips just as it had before the elevator on that day I left him.
He seemed at a loss for words, and so was I. But I knew staying silent wouldn't fucking solve anything.
"What... what are you doing here?" I managed some stability in my voice.
I wasn't going to allow myself to weaken. Not now.
"Baby, I'm here to-" He attempted to approach me, but I frantically took steps back, holding out my hand to motion him to stop.
"Don't you dare try to step closer..." I uttered, my words trembling. "Don't you fucking dare!"
"Baby, please give me a chance to explain. Talk to me... just for once," His eyes softened, his features drawing me in just like they always did his green orbs, his smooth plump lips, his tanned skin that made my fingers itch to touch, and the stubble details of his silky hair where I had run my fingers through countless times-he was my broken dream that utterly shattered me and left me in pieces.
My heart... it wanted to give him a chance. Already.
And that's how I knew his presence here wasn't fucking right for me and the decision I had made.
"Dad!" I called out loudly, "Dad!" I rushed to the kitchen then to the television room to find him, and as I returned to the hall, I saw him descending the stairs.
"Evie, what happened, princess?" he asked, his face filled with concern.
"What the hell is he doing here in our house?" I demanded, pointing at Jacob, refusing to look at him, tears welling up in my eyes. "What are you planning?!" "Evie, listen to me," Clara came down and stood beside me, "Calm down. We can explain everything."
"So you're in on this too, Clara? I
thought it was just Dad. But you? How could you?" Tears streamed down my cheeks. "I can understand Dad's actions because obviously, he's his best friend and he has
spot for him. But you know
everything, don't you? You Soft
how much I've been hurting because of that man. Yet you two decided to let him in? What's the fucking point of it? What do you two want? For me to forget everything and end up with him again so that he can break my heart again?!"
"Evelyn, it's not what you think," Dad stepped closer to me, his eyes gentle, his voice soothing. "Jacob's here because he believes he owes you an apology. He wants to fix things, but that doesn't mean any of us are allowing him to force anything on you. No one's asking you to forgive him and mend things back-this is just the chance he deserves. One last chance-that's it."
Before I could speak, Jacob
interjected, "Evelyn, I'm here to fix everything. I know I screwed up, but
I also know I can never live without you. I'm well aware of how much I hurt you He let out a shaky sigh
weakening my resolve, but I pushed back against every ounce of emotion that threatened to
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overwhelm me. I refused to make the same mistake again-falling for his words just because I glimpsed his face. "And I know you should never forgive me, but I... I love you, Evelyn. You know how much I love you and what I'd do for you-give me one last chance."
"I didn't give you just one chance, Jacob. I gave you many-countless! But you screwed up every fucking time, and I'm done with your shit! I'm done dealing with it. And where were you all these days? Where the hell have you been for the past sixteen days? While I was crying myself to sleep, developing habits I never had, doing everything to somehow get through the effects of the shit you put me through-where the hell were you?!"
"You know where I was, Evelyn. You know it," His voice remained soft, infuriatingly manipulative. "I was fixing everything so I could be back here with you as soon as possible. I was working on putting that piece of shit behind bars, saving my business-the reason why you did all that, getting the video and doing something you might have hated doing, I was making sure I didn't let your efforts go in vain." "Lies," I scoffed. "You were fixing everything because you wanted to get your position back-after all, you can't live without the luxury, can you?" Yes-I had said the exact thing he had said to me and he should know how much it hurt because it actually tore me apart when he'd said that I couldn't live without those luxuries when all the while, I was there, only for him.
His eyes flashed with hurt, knowing why I'd used those words. "You know I don't give a damn about money, Evelyn. You know it, and you also know you're saying this only to hurt me, which you should. But trust me, Evie, I didn't mean any of those things I said that was just my anger. The worst side of me that I hadn't seen in so long. I'm sorry, baby. Please give me one last chance to make it up to you." I knew he didn't give a damn about the money.
I knew every word he said, he meant it.
I also knew he was hurting as much as I was hurting now.
And that was the worst
part-knowing it. Yes, that was just the worst part. I didn't want to let myself down again, I'd done enough, borne enough, tried enough, and now it was time to find myself, not just throw myself back into his arms again. I needed to respect myself, the boundaries I set, and getting back with Jacob might put me in the same cycle again. He didn't hesitate that time before breaking my heart into pieces, what was the guarantee he wouldn't do it again?
Without a word, I turned to Dad. "Dad, I understand he's your best friend and you have a soft spot for him. It's only natural for you to want this rift between us to end. And I respect your choice to let him stay here, but let me tell you one thing straight-I've made up my mind, and there will be no change in my decision," I sucked in a breath, trying not to break into sobs. "So if you even think of helping him worm his way back into my life-you'll lose me."
Dad's expression softened, his eyes filled with concern, clearly grappling to find the right words. But before any of them could speak, I turned around, stormed upstairs, and slammed my door shut.
I still loved Jacob....but I didn't want him in my life. Not anymore.