Chapter Anxiety
As the week dragged on, the opening day of the Court Season was only a few days away and everyone was beginning to stress out about the upcoming arrival of Court members. Including myself.
I had no idea how to host Court and I was beginning to stress that the Ladies here would not have much to do since so much of the Manor was still under construction.
My first night here, when Emris had invited me to dine with him and then ignored me. No one had really spoken to me and I was only seen in the company of Emris, Hali or Niko. Emris has made it clear that I was to receive the Court member for dinner tonight. It was expected of me now, as Lady of Azga.
No one, not even Emris, had told me what that all entails.
All Lords and Ladies were expected to arrive, if only to get a glance at the Prince's new Wife. I wasnt looking forward to being stared and gawked at all night. Or all week. I didn't know these people and I didn't care to. I'd rather just spend my days in the woods, throwing daggers. Or out riding with Emris.
It was something I had been longing for but Emris had other plans. He had more tailors and jewelers consistently making me dresses, shoes, jewelry. I had been sitting in my room going through fabrics for hours now.
My mind was else where at the moment. Emris had said he wanted to Mark me. Bind me to him.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I wasn't sure what he meant. He said he would bite me? Why would he want to do that? I shuddered at the thought. I wasn't a big fan of pain. I didn't want to be put into a situation where I wouldn't be able to give Emris what he wanted. He had already done so much for me.
I felt like I owed him. Not in a negative way. He saved me. In every way a person can be saved. He had freed me from Hiram and rescued me from a life that have eventually would have killed me. The more time I spent with him, the more attached I became, the more I needed him. I wished he understood that. It wasn't something I could just tell him in conversation. Besides, I only ever saw him during meals anymore. We were both extremely busy. Dinner tonight was supposed to be a beautiful, extravagant and luxurious affair. As I sat at my vanity table gazing at the dark haired stranger staring back at me I began to wonder if I was even up for this.
Emris had insisted I looked my very best when he presented me to his Court. Wives came and went for Warlock Demons. I wasn't supposed to be any different.
Only I was.
Everyone expected me to die in less then two years. I was expected to birth his Mortal child to continue help running Azga as a Lord. A contribution to society. But Emris had insisted that he had a plan to help save me from that... only his plan didn't really include saving me. I wasn't Mortal. I was immortal... or was I?
I had never questioned it before today but I didn't know anything about my own mortality. Or immortality. And I had let myself feel for Emris. I had let myself care for him. I had let myself get emotionally involved and attached. I sighed. Even Emris said he didn't plan on feeling. We had agreed that our individual feeling were irrelevant due to our situation. But hadn't the situation changed? Since I was a Moonblood.
As was my brother.
We were the last of our kind. We were the last Moonbloods. After we died- when we died, the Moonbloods would cease to exist. A whole race gone. Because of the Hunters and or the people of Azga. The Lords and Ladies would not take it to kindly when they discovered who and what I was. We were dangerous for a reason. But if Emris had planned it this way, why didn't he tell me? Perhaps he knew that a war would break out over this impossible situation and he was banking on that. If so, why go through all the trouble of marrying me if his father was going to die anyway? Emris would be King soon enough. What was the point? Perhaps I would die! I was still half Mortal after all. I could move things with my mind because of my Moonblood heritage. All Emris had to do was wait me out. He was immortal. I would die sooner or later. And would live for millennia to come. If he waited long enough, the blood line of the Moonblood Witches would die out over time. There were only two of us left, after all.
I wished I knew more about my father. King Ambrose Crane had only ruled for three years before I was born. My mother had died and no one seemed to know much about her. If I knew more about either of them, perhaps I could determine if I was immortal or not. My hand unconsciously reached for my head, to the spot I had struck my head on the pavement.
The wound had healed in minutes. Nothing was impossible. I could die from a wound, a sickness. Poison. A strike to the head. Simple.
My thought shifted back to Emris as a feeling of peace came over me. I closed my eyes and sighed.
It was getting dark out.
This would be my last privet dinner in a long time since Court Season started tomorrow. "It's getting late, Princess, would you like to dress for the evening?"
I looked down at the white and pink silk, floral dress the tailor had dressed me in today and wrinkled my nose. White and pink were not really my color. "Yes, Hali," I said and stood to my feet. The Maids and Servents all stood and began cleaning as I walked to the door of my bedroom. They had all cleared the room and talking everything with them in the time it took me to stand and walk to the door of the bathroom. "Look for something... flattering," I said.
Hali raised an eyebrow at me. "Flattering, Princess?" she asked me confused. I nodded, feeling suddenly out on the spot. "Yes," I sighed. "You know... flattering. Something to keep the Prince's attentions!"
Yesmina had decided to stay at Court when Graven had been called away to the Capital. He wasn't expected to return until after the arrival of Court members. He mentioned bringing Knox back with him. Hali hesitated. "What is it?"
She bowed her head quickly. "I'm sorry, Princess," she said quickly and began folding the sheets bon my bed. "It's nothing."
I sighed and stood to my feet. "Hali." I waited for her to answer.
She sighed. "You do not need to keep the Princes attention, Your Majesty. He seemed quite taken with you already from what I have seen."
I shook my head. "He said he wants to Mark me," I said thoughtfully. "What does that mean?"
Hali but her lip. "Far be for me to presume but have you seen the way he looks at you, Princess?"
I felt my face go blank. "What do you mean?"
Hali folded her hands uncomfortably. I shook my head. "Please, Hali, speak freely."
She cheered her lip for a moment, considering her answer. "Niko tells me whenever he observes you two together, Prince Emris is very attentive."
I shook my head. "I am his wife," I reminded her. Hali shook her head.
"It's more then that, Princess," she insisted. "I dare say the Prince has fallen for you-"
I set the brush down I had been holding and walked to mirror. "Don't be silly, Hali," I said feeling suddenly off balance and unsure. Wouldn't I have noticed? The only reason why Emris was so attentive was because he was my husband.
Hali was saying that Emris loved me? But how? When?
Sure, he had promised to keep me safe, protect me. I was the his wife. Was that not his duty? Hali bowed her head quickly.
"I'm sorry, Princess, I didn't mean to be so forward- I could be wrong-"
I shook my head. Doubt filled me.
"I doubt that, Hali."
Emris was waiting patiently outside my bedroom, leaning against the wall across from my bedroom door. He was dressed in formal, black and red elegant silks and leathers. His long black hair was pulled back into a braid that spilled down his back. A gleaming dagger, sheathed, hung at his hip.
He smiled a wide smile when he saw me, his eyes liking me up and down as he unhitched himself from the wall. "I knew that dress would be prefect on you."
I looked down at the red silk and gold thread dress and felt extremely uncomfortable. This was one of the most extravagant and delicate dresses I had ever worn. And it was tight and firm fitted. Hiram never spent silver on a good dress. Most of my cloths in Summer Crest were simple, threadbare cottons and I didn't have any jewelry to speak of until I met Emris and he had gifted me my wedding band. The heavy jewels that hung around my neck and at my ears were like weights. They felt heavy and out of place.
"The earrings are heavy," I said, not looking at him. I reached up and touched my ear. Emris reached up and lifted my face to make me look at him. His eyes were bright, his face relaxed. At peace.
"You look breathtaking," he told me in a low voice. He stepped forward, his hands circling my waist as he pulled me against him.
"My brother has arrived with his Lady Wife, Mistress Cienna," he said in a low voice.
I raised an eyebrow, not missing his change in tone, his face flickering with annoyance.
"I gather you are to to fond of either of them?" I asked. Emris sighed and offered me his arm. We set off at a slow pace, strolling down the hall. "Lady Cienna wouldn't hurt a fly," he assured me. "Lady Yesmisa and her arrogant father have returned. Her mother however was rather nasty."
"And Lady Melbourne is where?"
Emris shook his head.
"She was released from duty after she became pregnant with Yeamina. She died. That is how Cirnna is my brothers new wife instead of Graven's."
"Why was she away from Court for so long?" I asked him.
Emris sighed. "Lady Cienna's father was dishonorably ejected from Court for treason? It's been a long road back for the Melbourne family-one they have not taken lightly."
I shook my head. "I don't understand," I said. "What was it that the Melbourne's did that was so bad?"
Emris suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Graven's father tried to kill a King." His voice had gone quite. For some reason I knew it was my father Ambrose.
"He didn't succeed?" I asked him.
Emris shook his head. "No."
I swallowed. "Then how-"
Emris stopped, looking down at me. "The war was many years ago, Nalia. There were many betrayals that happened. No one alive today likes to speak of it. Everyone lost someone during that time-"
I shook my head. "If Melbourne is a traitor I don't understand-"
Emris shook his head, glancing up and down the hallway. "We should not speak of such things like this in the open. Many people are not particularly happy about my family being in power over Azga."
I felt my heart sink. "Why?"
Emris reached for my hand. "I promise to answer all of your questions at the end of the night," he told me. "However for now, we should focus on the task at hand. The Court is waiting for you."
I nodded, my heart suddenly hammering away in my chest.
"Do you think everyone will like it?" I asked him in a low voice. "What if no one shows?"
Emris laughed and pulled me closer to the door. "I doubt that will be a problem," he assured me and pulled the curtain back.
A warm, glowing light erupted from the inside of the room; chatter and laughter greeted my ears and the smell of deliciously cooked food wafted up my nose.
Inside, many people were in the middle of eating and conversations were loud and thriving. I recoiled from the mass of people, the strangers I didn't know. I felt my shoulder brush his chest as I stepped back. I shook my head. "I can't-"
His hands found my waist. "You can!" he assured me. "I'm right here." I shook my head.
"What if someone that knows is out there?" I asked him. Emris sighed, his chest heaving against my shoulders, the heat of his excelled breath brushing my neck.
"No one would dare insult you now," he whispered. "They would not dare risk my wrath by rising against you!"
His lips and teeth grazed my neck and I shuddered, jerking away from him, but his hands came up to my arms quickly, keeping me in place as his lips pressed to the spot between my jaw and ear. A growl grumbled through him.
"Stop it!" I hissed him.
I wasn't sure what happened after that. I watched Emris lean away, a surprised look on his face as a wave of energy erupted from my body, pushing him off of me.
With a grunt, Emris pushed against the power emanating off of my body, his hands gripping my arms as he pressed forward a rippling wave of energy of his own bounced off of him, forcing me back, my shoulders striking the cold stone wall beefing me. I watched in amazement as the energies between us became visible; a delicate silk like wave of electric blue and neon purple light rippled between us, pushing and pulling, like magnets.
I felt my face go blank and my body immediately still in surprise; the energy that had been emanating from me suddenly vanished. The force that pulsed from Emris knocked me back but his arms snapped up to my arms to catch me. My hair fanned out behind me as his fist struck the stone wall behind me as the Power between us faded away. My breath caught, suddenly coming quicker then it should be. My heart was slamming around inside my chest as if I'd just been running for my life.
"Easy!" Emris hissed at me. "Take a breath."
We stared at each other. "What is happening?" I whispered in a low voice. I felt oddly drained and alert at the same time. Emris sighed, his silver eyes burning like molten silver.
"Your powers- your energies are getting stronger... you need an outlet."
I shook my head. "An outlet?" I whispered confused. Emris leaned away and held out his hands. "Come."
I chewed my lips for moment before I placed my hand in his. I had trusted Emris, even reluctantly at times, but he always seemed to know just want to do or what to say. So I figured it was best to trust him now.
Emris led me away from the crowded room, down the hall and through the library. He didn't speak , he didn't look back at me. His fingers were warm and service around mine, not giving an inch.
Even though his touch body calmed me, right now it did little to soothe me. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I wasn't sure what was happening or what his intentions were.
Leading me down a long corridor and through the massive indoor courtyard. Emris stopped when he reached the fountain, the middle of the garden.
"What are we doing here?" I asked him in a low voice. Emris turned to face me. "I am going to teach you how to channel your energy. Emotion plays a great deal in how you handle you magic. The better you channel your emotions, the stronger your magic will be."
I sighed and looked down at my hands. I rubbed my fingers together, feeling the magic just under my fingertips. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it.
The slight, sand-grainy kind of feeling that I felt each time I ran bed my fingers together or anytime I felt nervous.
"Tell me what you feel when you use your magic," he whispered.
Goosebumps coiled over my skin, a shudder rolling through me.
"It's a rush but draining at the same time," I said thoughtfully as my eyes slipped closed. Emris' hands dropped slowly from my hips.
"The tiredness you feel is you using your own energies to summon your Magic. Use the energies around you. Use nature."
My eyes slipped closed again as the calling of birds and crickets filled the darkening skies.
"Tell me about this rush," he whispered. "Where do you feel the rush the most?" His voice turned into a breathy whisper that warmed my skin. My chest rippled with what I could only describe as...pleasure? I wasn't sure because I had nothing to compare to.
I felt slightly uncomfortable at the feeling in my breast as his arms, naked and strong, slung around my middle, a deep warm sigh leaving his lips.
I felt his hand wader to my chest, slowly wandering up, his molten fingers pressing against the side of my breast. The sensation took me by surprise and my eyes flew open as my head rolled back into his chest a surprised gasp leaving my lips. Emris breathed out an evil laugh.
"Let the emotion fill you," Emris whispered. He slowly raised his hands to my shoulders, his finger grazing against the exposed skin of my shoulder.
My breath came out in a wild gasp as his lips danced across my jaw. His right hand came up, pressing me back against him. "Tell me if this pleases you." His breath was like fire, burning and blistering my skin.
I could feel his mind wrapping around mine. We were not linked. Emris had not yet placed his Mark upon me. What would our connection be like when he did?
"Nalia, focus!" he hissed at me.
I shuddered and tried to lean away from him, my hands gripping his wrists. I couldn't move more then an inch. My breath caught in my chest.
"Wait-"
His tongue traced my jaw line. "The gardens around us are wilted and dead," he whispered. "Imagine the release of your pent up energies. Fill the garden with life. Give the plants the revive of greens-"
My hands raised suddenly as if being jerked up by some unseen force, a cool, rippling feeling washing from my fingers as the image of a vibrant, green and life filled garden filled my mind. I felt Emris' fingers tighten around my hip, his breath catching against my jaw.
My eyes snapped open just in time to see the whole courtyard erupt into a green, bright and vibrant garden; the trees turned a health shad of dlnrowns and greens, the bushes and flowers bloomed to life, giving off a soft glowing light to illuminate the plants and flowers around me.
Emris chuckled beside me. "Amazing," he whispered, almost inaudibly. His finger caught my jaw just as his lips came down over mine. A surprised gasp left my lips as his lips parted from mine.
"How I long for you," he whispered desperately. I watched Emris close his eyes and a deep, shuddering breath filled his chest before his hands slipped from my hips.
"How do you feel now?" he asked me in a low voice. "More relaxed?"
His hands wandered over my shoulders and into my hair, messaging the base of my neck and the tops of my shoulders. I wasn't sure if felt more relaxed or more... aware. I was suddenly hyper fixated on the fact that his lips were resting on my neck, his breathing shallow and hot against my chilled skin. Part of me was telling me this was wrong.
This should bother me.
This should make me feel uncomfortable. This should make me feel sick.
But it didn't.
His touch calmed me, his body molded perfectly to mine as he breathed in a deep breath through his nose, the feeling of it tickling the side of my neck. Goosebumps chilled my skin as I turned to face him. Emris didn't let go. His hand circled my hips as I turned to face him. His face was relaxed, his silver eyes were reflective and glowing.
"Better?" he asked me in a low voice. I nodded, my lips and mouth dry as I spoke. "Yes, thank you," I whispered. Emris didn't look satisfied. "What is it?"
"I didn't realize you were struggling," he said in a low voice. I shook my head. "I don't understand."
He smiled. "I should have been teaching you all along," he reasoned. "It is my fault you are stuck now-"
I shook my head. "Emris, it is not your fault!" I assured him.
He leaned forward, his forehead pressed to mine. "You will be powerful!" he promised me. "You will be fearless!"
I shook my head. I didn't understand this version of me he was describing. I didn't see myself the way he did. And by the Gods was he in for a surprise. I pulled away from him slowly.
"We should go," I reminded him.
I watched his face crumple with annoyance. "Yes," he agreed and turned away from me. "Are you sure you can do this now?"
I nodded, quietly turning away from him. My dress suddenly didn't feel like it was suffocating me and my breath came easier. My head swam as I breathed in a deep breath. I could smell him. I could smell his skin, the warmth of his heated skin.
"Yes," I assured him.
I didn't feel strung tight. I didn't feel like I was a tight wire, ready to snap at the movement of a single breath. The anxiety had melted away. I felt sated and calm. I looked up at him and he smirked.
"That's my girl," he whispered.
I felt a smile cross my lips as he gazed me, the proud look on his face one one of pride and longing.
He had never looked at me like this before.
I lowered my gaze.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this again. I had been so distracted but by sudden change in him, the sudden need to touch me. The way he kissed me... it made me forget everything else but what this mystical creature was doing. His hands. His lips. His arm. His chest. Everything about him pulled me in. I couldn't fight it anymore.
I didn't want to.
I wanted didn't want to deny it anymore. I longed for him in a way that made me ache. I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to deny myself. Emris clearly longed for me but was it the same way I felt? Was he just doing his duties as a husband and Prince, trying to get me pregnant? Or was he feeling the same thing I was? How could I know? How could I be sure?