Monster Among the Roses

My lips parted. “My…what?”

Isobel’s eyes were large and horrified. “She…she…”

“When the hell did you meet Gloria?”

“At the hospital,” she rushed her answer. “I came to visit. She was there with your mom. She said…she said…”

I shook my head, then pushed Ezra aside so I could see her better. “You came to the hospital?” My voice cracked and eyes misted. “Really?” My lips trembled, wanting to smile, except…except everything was still so wrong.

Isobel bobbed her head up and down. “I wanted to come the first day, but you didn’t ask me to. I wasn’t sure if you wanted—”

“Of course I wanted you there,” I hissed before clenching my teeth. “But I didn’t know if I should ask. You said you wanted space, and you acted as if you never wanted to leave your house again. It felt selfish to ask you to come.”

“I would have,” she said, wiping tears from her cheeks. “I wanted to, and when I finally did, she was there. She was there with your mother, and you hadn’t asked me to come at all.”

“I didn’t ask her to either,” I insisted. “I didn’t even tell her what happened. She just found out and showed up. She and my mom were close. I didn’t feel as if I could send her away, not when my mom wanted her there. And then she offered to sit with Mom while I went home and washed up. I needed a moment to recoup—just a few hours—I swear, I was only gone a few hours.”

How could Isobel have come to be with me during the few hours I’d been gone?

“When I saw her, a stranger I’d never met before sitting with your mother while I hadn’t even been invited…” Her entire expression crumpled as she admitted, “It hurt. It shattered me.”

I drew in a breath and shook my head. “Isobel.”

But she lifted a finger, asking me to let her keep talking. “And then, when I asked who she was, she said she was your girlfriend, and…and…”

“And you just believed her?” I asked, disappointed and upset. I’d suffered twice as much as I should have these past few days because she’d taken the word of a complete stranger over everything I’d ever said to her? I wanted to rage at her for doing that to me.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. “She was there,” she insisted, “sitting with your mother as if she belonged. And she already knew who I was. She didn’t have to ask. She took one look at my scars and said, ‘You must be the daughter of that rich man he’s been working for.’ She told me you’d only been kind and complimentary to me because you didn’t want to get fired. She made it sound like you’d just been playing me the whole time because of your job and the situation you were in. And I…I…”

Sighing, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m going to kill her,” I said to myself. Gloria was dead to me.

“How did she know who I was?” Isobel demanded, her voice breaking. “How did she know about my scars?”

“I told my mother,” I admitted, feeling small. “I told my mother about you, how you didn’t like to leave your house after you’d been hurt in a fire.” Then I shrugged helplessly. “And Gloria is her friend.” I didn’t admit that Gloria had been there when I’d told Mom about Isobel. It felt worse to admit that, and besides, it didn’t matter that much. Gloria had found out because of me, and she’d used the information against Isobel to hurt her.

Shaking my head, I focused on the woman before me. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t at least confront me about this. She’s done this kind of thing before. She’s lied to keep other women away from me. If I’d ever thought you two would meet, I would’ve warned you not to believe a thing she ever said. I would’ve been able to fix all this. But you didn’t even tell me about it. I begged you to tell me what happened, and you refused! Jesus Christ, Isobel, why didn’t you just tell me? Or…or get her name. Or—”

“I did go back to get her name,” she said softly. More tears trailed down her cheek. “I left that hospital room, ready to confront you and demand the truth, but I got halfway down the hall before I realized I at least needed to know her name if I was going to talk to you about her. So I turned back.”

I wanted to wipe her tears away and pull her into my arms, and yet I wanted to push her back and yell about how much she’d broken me. So unnecessarily broken me.

Pulled in two directions, I narrowed my eyes. “So what did she tell you her name was?”

Isobel shook her head, and another tear slipped down her cheek. “She didn’t. When I reached the doorway, your mom had just woken. She saw…saw Gloria and smiled at her, then reached for her hand. Then…then she thanked her for being there and told her she was such a good daughter, and she couldn’t wait until you married her and made her a daughter in truth.”

I clenched my teeth and spiked my fingers into my hair. My own mother had unknowingly backed Gloria’s lie. The misery of it took my breath.

“They’re…they’re friends,” was all I could think to say before I shook my head, lost and defeated. “Mom is always…” Realizing I’d just spoken of her in the present tense, I paused, waited for the spear of pain to pass, and then said, “She was always saying shit like that, trying to force the two of us together, but nothing—and I mean, nothing—ever came of it. I am not and have never been with Gloria in any way.”

Isobel nodded, believing me, before she buried her face into her hands and wept. “I’m sorry.”

Rage and pain swamped me. I should’ve been meaner to Gloria years ago and forced her out of my life for good. I should’ve…I don’t know. But it felt as if I could’ve stopped this from happening. If only I’d done little things here and there differently, I could’ve prevented this.

Wiping at her cheeks, Isobel drew in a breath and met my gaze, her devastation clear and brutally exposed. “I…I’m so sorry, Shaw. I should’ve talked to you about it, I know that. But I just couldn’t. We’d only known each other a couple months. It was still so fresh and new and…and there wasn’t any solid proof behind anything you’d ever said to me. All I had was your word to go on whether your feelings were true or not. You always seemed to back away whenever we started to talk about a future between the two of us. And after the hospital visit, I felt like a fool, a stupid, idiotic fool. I assumed I’d just been so desperate and lonely that I’d been willing to believe the first guy who acted interested. It suddenly seemed crazy that you might’ve actually loved me back. I never did anything to deserve someone who seemed as perfect as you were.”

“Love isn’t about deserving,” I hissed, shaking my head. “Because who really deserves love? We’re all miserable, imperfect idiots who probably need swift kicks in the ass more than anything. No, love is about connection and feelings, and I had that with you. I had all that with you. I never had it with anyone else.”

Isobel sent me a sad, watery smile. “I had the same connection and feelings for you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, what to do about any of this.

I wanted to forgive her and pull her into my arms to ease some of the grief plaguing me, yet I couldn’t.

I wanted to hate her for what I’d been through the last few days, and yet I couldn’t do that either.

Behind me, more laughter trickled from my apartment. Becky loudly started to recount a memory of a time she’d gotten into trouble with Mom. It was more than I could take. I ran my hands through my hair before gripping it with both hands.

“Shaw?” Isobel’s wobbly voice haunted me. She reached out her hand.

I took a step away, and she quickly withdrew her fingers.

I swear, watching the agony cross her features after my rejection hurt me as much as it hurt her.

Closing my eyes, I gritted out, “I just need some time. I can’t deal with everything all at once.”

“Of course,” she rushed out. “Yes, of course.”

When I opened my eyes, she’d whirled away and was dashing down the stairs.

An image of my mother crumpled and broken at the bottom of those very steps seized me, and instinctively I started after her, worried about her tripping in her haste. Falling. Dying. But Ezra set a hand on my chest.

If he’d been forceful or angry, I would’ve fought past him. I would’ve punched him in the eye and caught up with his sister before she left the building. But the guy only looked sad and sympathetic.

“I think you’re right about the time thing. Why don’t you give it a day?” he suggested. “Take care of everything with your mom, deal with…” He waved a hand toward the opened door of my apartment where my siblings were still inside, spilling out memories. “Izzy needs a day too, to let the reality of what she did soak in. Then go see her.”

I heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open and bang shut, letting me know she had made it off the steps safely, so I nodded and let her go.