Chapter Chapter Thirty Seven
Hailey’s POV
The tires screeched as the car came to a halt. I glanced out of the window and saw we had come to a small clearing a little of the road. There were trees surrounding it as if forming a strong boundary around it. Soft grass covered the ground with few weeds twirling around. The sun shone right above us spreading a beautiful glow over the place. Liam came over to me and opened my door. I stepped out and took a deep breath loving that smell of the morning dew and moist earth. I could hear the distance rumbling and honks of cars travelling on the freeway mingle with the loud chirping of birds.
Liam took my hand and guided me towards the centre of the clearing and then sat down, lightly pulling me down with him. We sat there in silence as I watching a rabbit chase around a baby squirrel. I knew what I had to say but to do so suddenly became difficult. I felt like I had cotton mouth and that awkward feeling surrounded us. He suddenly started to laugh and I looked at him as if he had lost his mind.
“Oh Hailey. This sure is hilarious. I never knew a moment would come when we’d not be able to start a conversation.” He said, between his laughing. I grinned nodding along. He laid down and I did the same, resting my head on his chest and he put his arm around me. This felt so perfect just like it did for those three years. But something was missing and that was the love that I felt for him no longer stood aflame. I loved him but just as a dear friend. It felt good to finally accept this fact but I knew he didn’t yet. I needed him to move on because I didn’t want to be the person that he learned to hate. He was still the only guy I trusted and it was always going to be that way.
We spoke random stuff about his pack and the boys. He told me Lily and Claire missed me a lot and Erick kept asking about me. I smiled thinking about all of them missing them terribly. After all they were the only ones who helped me overcome my depression. We laid there for a while talking, laughing and just enjoying the nostalgic feeling. It felt so natural and calm as he cracked his funny jokes, making me giggle and laugh out clutching my stomach. We fell into a comfortable silence and just listened to the sounds of the wind around. I looked up at him and saw his jaw was clenched and his face looked like he was in deep thought. I placed my palm on his face, rubbing my thumbing against his cheek.
“I know what you going to say. But don’t say it because I don’t want to hear it.” He whispered in anger as the muscles in his arm which was around me twitched. I pushed his head towards me, wanting to see those sweet brown eyes but he fought me and continued to stare above. I placed both my hands and forced him to look at me and reluctantly he turned and met my eyes.
“Don’t. Don’t look at me in pity Hailey.” He growled and got up, walking away from me. But not before I saw those amazing eyes fill with tears. He stood away, his shoulders sagging and head held down. I walked up to me, desperately wanting to tell him something, anything to ease his pain. I hated myself right now because I was the reason for his despair. I put my hand on his shoulder but he flinched and I removed it quickly as I suddenly knew that the time had finally come when he’d hate me forever.
“I am so sorry Liam for causing you so much pain. I am truly sorry.” I whispered looking at his broad back. “I had always thought of being with you forever and I was going to make it true before me life turned upside down leaving me with no choice but to leave you. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you because of me. I never planned to meet Zach. I always hated that he had moved on and I wanted to move on too, with you. But I knew I couldn’t be so selfish. You hadn’t yet experienced the strength and hunger in the bond between two mates. How could I take that away from you knowing very well you’d mark me if I asked you. But I also knew that when she did come, you would turn away without even a glance back at me.” I said looking down at my feet as the tears flowed onto my cheeks and then fell on the ground.
“I was so selfish and for that I beg you to forgive me. When Zach came back into my life I thought the fates were playing a joke on me, but then I learnt that he had equally suffered and lived in pain like I did. I found out that though he hadn’t told anyone about me, he kept away from lust and waited for me to come back. He had many opportunities to let go and just move on but he didn’t. I realised meeting him was all part of a plan that was made way before.” I said praying he would understand where I was coming from.
“You will find her Liam. I know it. But for now you I need you to know that no matter what I still and will always love you. You were the only one who stayed by me, loved me, cared for me and made me the person I am today. You’re love made not to doubt myself. You are the only reason I am alive today. And for that I will always and forever be grateful. I need you to know that whatever we shared was real to me. It was the most beautiful years of my life and I am so happy to have shared it with you. I love you Liam and will completely understand if you want to never see me again. Hate me Liam because I know I deserve it.” I said, as my voice broke and a loud sob came from my lips. My shoulder shook with every sob that escaped. I was about to fall on my knees but instead I felt strong arms hold me up as I wept into his chest.
“Hailey. Love. I could never hate you. I love you girl. I know you are not mine and I have prayed to every god above, begging them to make you mine in every sense. But I guess it failed. I love you Hailey with all my heart even though I know loving you is going to cause me so much pain, but this heart just doesn’t want to let you go. If getting my mate will rid me of this pain then I will gladly run and search until I find her. Maybe I don’t know the bond between mates but I know what loving someone with everything you have is. And I hope I may love my mate like I love you. You are not mine Hailey and I fully understand that. I just needed a little time for the realization to set in.” He said, as his voice broke with every word. He took a deep breath and I felt his chest move, his beating heart calmed down a little.
“You deserve your happy ending with Zach. He is made only for you. Go to him because no matter how much you love me, you’ll never look at me with those same eyes with which you look at him. I swear Hailey I am letting you go even though I don’t want to, but if he screws this up again with you, I will come back and take you away. Can I do that?” he asked pulling back, smiling at me. I nodded not able to stop the hiccups that kept coming out rapidly.
“Shush. Jut breath Hailey.” He hugged me again and whispered near my ear. I buried my face in chest holding his t-shirt in my fist. As my breath steadied, I wrapped my hands around his neck, staying in his arms for the final time. I needed this memory it be forever stamped in my head because I didn’t know if I’ll ever be able to again. I pulled my head back and stared into his eyes through my blurry ones. He looked at my face as if trying to draw my face in his mind. When his eyes connected with mine again, he leaned down his lips dangerously close to my lips. My wolf screamed to stop but I didn’t move. He took the chance and placed his lips on mine, kissing me softly, and I kissed back. Putting my goodbye in the kiss, I knew this was not a lover’s kiss but that of a definite fact of our last kiss. It was a goodbye kiss in every way, and the weight on my heart slowly lifted.
We pulled back and he placed a kiss on my forehead. Smiling at him, we made our way to the car. Liam held my till we reached the car and then stepped up to open my door. I settled in and so did he. I looked at his face as we began our way back. He stole me a glance and gave me a wide smile and squeezed my hand in reassurance. We were okay, I still had my best friend with me, and when all this over I was going to help him find that mate of his.
We pulled in front of the pack house. I turned to face him when he let my hand go, “Go on Hailey. Go to Zach. I bet he needs you right now.” He nodded pointing to the house. I nodded and pecked his cheek. “Will you stay?” I asked. He shook his head sadly. I looked at him one last time and then got out of the car. He smiled and then turned the car, leaving me watching it become a tiny speck on the horizon. Sighing, I turned and dragged myself into the house.
“Hailey. Thank god you’re back.” Hayden yelled, as relief crossed his features. I stared at him in confusion, I wasn’t gone that long, was I?
“Zach. He has been in his room for the past hour. At first we heard loud crashes and stuff breaking, but now nothing. Everyone’s scared to go and check if he is alright. I guess only you can calm him.” He smiled sadly at me. I nodded in understanding and walked up the stairs. I stood in front of the door, dreading what would be behind them. I slowly turned the knob and opened the door, letting myself in and then closed it behind me. The room was mess, the closet door hung on it’s hinges in pieces. The drawers were sprawled on the floor and clothes were ripped into tatters. The wallpaper had long deep claw marks in them. The bed and pillows were in shreds, the feathers were floating in the sir. It looked like a hurricane threw up in here.
My eyes roamed around the room, falling on his figure. From the dim light I noticed his hands were clenched into fists, the muscles in his back was popping out. I slowly made my way, as I heard low snarls come from him. I didn’t want to believe but it seems like he had given his wolf full control. It was going to be really tough to get him back. I stopped behind him contemplating what to do. Surprisingly I was not scared even after I heard a deep growl fill the air.
“Zach.” I whispered. He turned to faced me and I gasped. His elongated fangs were sharp and pulled back into a snarl. His eyes were a bright yellow and his breathe was coming out in pants. Before I could say anything more, he marched to me and slammed me into the wall painfully. His hand wrapped around my neck, his claws digging into my skin.
“You are mine. Mine. My mate. I don’t want to see his filthy hands on you again. You are mine and only I can touch you. No one else. Do you understand?” He yelled. His voice was gruff and hoarse and I knew this was his wolf talking. I nodded as his hand threatened to choke me but I didn’t move and I let him do it knowing his wolf will calm down soon.
He crashed his lips on mine painfully, it was demanding and urgent. I parted my lips and kissed him back with the same passion. He plunged his tongue into my mouth battling me for control and I let him. As his tongue grazed every part of my mouth, it sent sheer pleasure through my body. It was filled with a raw and dark passion. His fangs scratched my lip and blood flowed down. I squirmed under him as his tongue licked the blood. He sucked on my lip hard causing me to moan in pure pleasure. His other hand roamed my body and I gasped as he slipped it into my shirt. His hand felt hot on my skin and I felt my wolf come alive with every stroke of his hand.
“Hailey.” He whispered, looking at me with hooded eyes. I smiled through my shallow breathe and I placed my hands on his face. I watched in awe as his eyes turned from yellow to the magnificent grey colour. He stared into my eyes as if reaching in and touching my soul.
“Please don’t do that again. Please don’t leave me again.” He whispered as he loosened his hand from my neck and dropped it to the side. He stood there with his head hanging down. I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I will never leave you Zach. I promise.” I said and pulled his lips back on mine, kissing him with more passion begging him to make me his. He gladly obliged and filled me with the most raw and rough passion ever. There in that messed up room and shredded bed he made me his for eternity and I couldn’t ask for it to be more perfect. I was his and he was mine and nothing in the entire world could change that.
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