Mercy

Nikolai didn’t mean to bark at her. The moment he smelled Brendan’s arousal and hers, he saw red. It took everything in him not to kill the man and that was a lot. Nikolai didn’t want to hurt the man because he knew it will upset Roza, but his wolf demanded Brendan’s head. In trying to control his temper, he lashed out at her. Grabbing her like that was unacceptable, but he couldn’t control it.

He was angry because he knew she had been avoiding him for three days now. After he told her he wanted to at least try and then to smell her arousal — he was jealous. His blood was boiling with uncontrolled jealousy.

The ache in his chest was spreading. He was in pain even when she was close because he was taking her silence as rejection. Growling he slammed his pencil down on the table. He couldn’t think like this. He needed to get rid of some of the anger in his system and clear his mind from Roza.

“You okay?” Dimitri asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I need to go for a run.” Nikolai turned away from him and started for the woods.

“Anna and Roza are already bringing food out for us, can’t this wait?” Dimitri asked.

“No.” Nikolai growled loudly and headed for the woods. His back was rigid as he could feel Roza’s eyes following him — staring into his back. Snarling he ran and shifted in the air, landing on his paws.

He ran fast and zipped through the woods. His pent up anger and frustration pushed him to push harder. His eyes focused on what was ahead of him. He ran with no destination in mind. Digging his paws into the earth when a picture of Roza flashed across his mind — her soft lips and her soft violet irises staring back at him.

He allowed his wolf to flash memories of him and Roza back at the cabin...

Nikolai looked down at her, she hid nothing. The raw trust he saw in her eyes tore him up inside. She was so beautiful with her black hair falling all around her. His thumb moved to trace her lower lip, memorizing it to heart.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered, and she smiled up at him. His hands moved down to her nape and then lower where he cupped her breasts.

He snarled and snapped his jaw in the air as he stretched his muscles and pushed harder. She was still just as beautiful as the first time he saw her. Three years and even after birth of their son, she still looked as gorgeous as ever.

Fuck, he thought as another memory flooded his mind.

Nikolai woke up the next morning to Roza’s arm over his chest. His heart galloped in his chest. The beautiful tingles from their bond spreading as he became aware. She sighed and snuggled closer to his body. He moved to push some of her bangs back and cupped her cheek.

“Nikolai.” She whispered.

His heart literally stopped beating. She had a voice that could end him at any moment. She was so beautiful.

Slowly, Nikolai detangled from her body and slipped out of bed. He got dressed in his clothes and turned to look at her one last time and for a moment he almost crawled back into bed with her.

Nikolai blinked and saw he was running into a tree and pivoted just in time. He swore in his mind before slowing down a little. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes and fell to the cool ground. He rested his head on his paws as he waited for his breathing to steady.

Her soft angelic face was wrinkled and broken, with tears running down her cheeks as she woke up and noticed he was gone. He hid in the bushes at a safe distance away from her with his scent masked. An ache built in his chest at the sight.

Immediately, he knew it was stupid to stay behind, but he needed to see her one last time before he leaves her forever...

When he opened his eyes again, it was dark. He didn’t realize he had fallen asleep. Slowly, he pushed himself up and trotted back in the direction he came from.

Upon arriving home, he noticed that everyone was already inside the pack house and getting ready to sleep. He sighed and shifted before pulling on a pair of jeans that were hidden in a bush. He walked out from the edge of the woods and up the hill towards the pack house.

He walked in the front door and closed it behind him before padding up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. He stopped in front of Roza’s room and stared longingly at it. He didn’t know how to communicate with her. It was like he lost all ability to talk about his feelings altogether. When he was around her, the words he wanted to say didn’t come out the way he wanted.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before approaching her door. He stood there for a good five minutes just staring at the door, debating if he should open it or not, before he turned and walked toward his room.

Roza watched from her bed as she lay on her side, her hands tucked underneath her head. She could see his shadow underneath the door. She could feel him and smell him. She couldn’t sleep when she saw him run off this late morning. She wanted to run after him but she stopped herself.

She couldn’t -- wouldn’t fall for him this easily.

She was stronger than that, but why couldn’t she go to sleep? Why was she staring at the door waiting for him to walk by? When she saw his shadow underneath the door, she held her breath as she waited for him to come in.

He stood there for so long, she thought he had fallen asleep or something before his shadow slowly retreated. Her heart twisted in her chest and she pulled the blanket closer to her body, as if warding away the pain with the blanket that was protecting her.

Turning onto her back she looked up at the ceiling. Why couldn’t she get over him? Was she really that weak? What is it about him that has her all wrapped around his finger?

Her heart and mind were not in the same state. They both were arguing back and forth all day and she couldn’t figure out what she really wanted.

Her mind told her she deserved better, but her heart told her that they were all human and everyone deserved a second chance. She exhaled sharply and threw the blanket off and walked over to the window. She stared out into the night as she crossed her arms under her chest.

Her thin white nightgown fell around her loosely. She ran a hand through her hair before placing her forehead against the glass window.

“Nikolai.” She whispered. “What have you done to me?”

She looked back up at the moon. “Why did you bring us back together? What was the meaning of making us see each other again if all we were going to feel was pain? I don’t understand. What do you really want?”

The moon didn’t say anything, but only sparkled back at her as if the Moon Goddess herself was winking with glee. Roza stood in that spot, hoping that sleep would come soon, but when sleep didn’t come she pushed away from the window and slowly padded to the door.

Reaching for the door knob she hesitated — not really sure if she should go, but her hand was already twisting and the door opened. Stepping out softly with her bare feet, she walked down the hall and a few doors down to Nikolai’s room. She stood in front of the door the same way he did.

“What am I doing here?” She whispered softly to herself.

Her hand came up and she grabbed the door knob and twisted it. Slowly pushing the door open, she walked in and saw his sleeping form on the bed. She padded over quietly to his side of the bed.

She looked down at him and saw how his eyelashes fanned his cheek. His breathing was deep and slow. She knew he was asleep. His thin silk blanket falling to around his waist as he slept.

He looked handsome when he wasn’t grouchy and barking out orders. She crouched down so that she could examine him closer. Her fingers gently hovered over his face; almost touching, but not touching him. He must have worn himself down from that much running. She was amazed he wasn’t awake with her here.

She smoothed back his hair. Who was she kidding? He was handsome even when he was grouchy. As if she caught what she was doing, she pulled her hand back immediately and slowly stood up. She walked back to the door to leave, but something caught her eyes.

She stopped and walked toward what caught her eyes. She glanced at Nikolai still sleeping on the bed before she picked up the object on the dresser that caught her attention.

Her heart beat against her chest at a million beats per second. Blood rushed through her veins.

He still had her hair clip. Her fingers traced the gold design before she placed it back where she saw it. Glancing back at Nikolai, she turned and walked out the door.

When she got to her bedroom, she closed the door and leaned against it. Her chest rising up and down. She was extremely confused.

Why did he keep it?