Mate ...s ?!?!

[Jace’s POV]

I felt like I was in a daze. Floating in nothing but was everywhere all at once. I felt like my body wasn’t there but too heavy. Freezing cold and burning hot. I was thirsty beyond thought but drooling over-made saliva. I was in so much pain from all of this. This was unimaginable to me. Nothing could make this go away.

Then I heard his voice. The one voice I had been begging to hear. Jax’s deep baritone so much like my own but so different. He moved to somewhere close to me but he was still just outside of me reach. I felt his hand slip into mine and the pain vanished from my arm of which he held.

I could hear the sadness and pain in his voice as he spoke but the words were enough for me. I wanted to be with him forever. Like we always have been, like we should always be, “I never meant for this to happen. I just needed a moment to think. I would never reject either of you. Jace, you are my twin brother. We have been together from the time we were born and we will be together until the time we breathe our last breath that will never change. I love you Jace Evan King.”

He was my brother. My twin, but he was so much more to me than just that. Jax had been my rock our entire lives and when he looked at me like that and then walked out. I had no words. My rock had broken. My strong Alpha had made a mistake that was not easily fixed. How could I see Jax as anything else than someone who would just walk away when it got too hard?

Could I trust him again like that? Could I keep loving him? I wanted to. I wanted to love him like I have every day of my life, but there was that shadow of doubt there now. He may have just said that he loved me and that he was sorry for his actions but I couldn’t help but still feel the pain of rejection from him.

I guess I had been so wrapped up in the pain and my thoughts that when the soft touch from little fingers came through, I jumped a little. “Daddy...” Orion’s little voice called out to me softly.

He sounded so sad and lost. Where the hell was Jax? He should be with Orion right now!! “It’s ok little star. Daddy will wake up. He knows we need him.” came Jax’s gruff voice.

Had he been crying? His voice had seemed like he had been crying. Like he was actually sad to see what his actions had caused. I wanted to reach out and comfort him but I was in too much pain to move.

“Daddy, please wake up.” came Orion’s soft plea breaking me a little more.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell my little starburst that I would be fine. I wanted to hear Jax’s full explanation as to why he just walked away from Orion and I like he had. I wanted to get up out of this bed and cause a scene. However, I couldn’t do any of that because I felt like my body was lead filled and I weighed a thousand pounds.

I felt a large hand gently on my face before warm lips met with my forehead. “Please don’t leave me.” came the soft plea from Jax.

I wanted to scream at him. He doesn't want me leave him but he cane leave me and Orion?! It's ok for him to just walk out on us whenever he pleases?! I wanted to yell at him, scream at him, but I couldn't. It was not about how weak my body felt, but from the tone of his voice.

He needed me. It was clear in his voice. Jax had been gone for so long because he had expected Orion and I to follow after him. With that realization hitting me I gasped, my eyes finally opening.

That was why I still felt the pain of rejection. To Jax, his Mates not coming after him in a time of confusion and need was practically the same as being verbally told you are not wanted. I had let my Mate down without ever meaning too and I needed to try and fix it.

Even if he thought he was the one to hurt us, we had hurt him too. That was not the way Mates treat each other and those thoughts needed to lost. I was going to make sure he knew I loved him too, regardless of his awful ways of handling things sometimes. I still loved him.