Lycanthropy

At the mountain in the north:

Water was dribbling down my back, my head against the natural stone wall. I was looking downwards, to see how the water from the shower, disappeared in to the hole that lead outwards.

I was standing in one of our bathrooms, which we had made in one of the chambers of the mountain. I love the natural way of things here, living in a cave and small creatures roaming our chambers every now and then. It might seem as we are living in the stone-age, but nothing could be further more from the truth. We have electricity, clean water, a well-supplied kitchen, including all the appliances that come with it, and so on. We are living a good live here, it’s only a little more natural than most people are accustomed to.

I jumped up from a touch on my shoulder.

“Alpha you alright? You seem off for days already.” Terrence asked me.

Him being in here with me in the shower, doesn’t bother me. Hell, we even had to fuck each other, back when we were at the arena. Milos had made us have sex with each other, on multiple occasions. Dakota had told me it would be better if we didn’t tell Alpha Daniel about this, as he turned out to be our mate. I didn’t want him to get angry with me, then and there.

Terrence stood behind me, putting his arms on either side of me, pushing his head under the big showerhead as well. He never went any further than touching me, as respect towards me. He knows we only had sex when we were ordered to, not because we wanted to ourselves. Of course we had fun, to keep our minds sane. And it was good sex, but it was never more than that. And when we were together in the cells, we didn’t continue it, we could have, but we didn’t have a need for it.

All we did was comforting each other, sitting in each other’s arms, and talking all night.

So, through all these years, I was completely comfortable to be naked around him, he had seen every spot of me, and him standing behind me now, wasn’t the slightest intimidating me at all. This was normal for us two, and only us.

He didn’t do this with other females, and I didn’t do this with other men. Not that we hadn’t spoken about it as a rule, but we just didn’t feel like it. We just sought comfort with each other, after a rough day, sharing a moment, just as we did all those other years.

I turned around and looked upon his black sculpted chest. Touching his skin, listening to his calm heartbeat, making my own nerves calm down, upon hearing it.

“What is going on in your mind, Em?” He asked me, but I didn’t say a word.

“You have found him, didn’t you? At the ball I mean.” He asked me.

I wanted to nod, to tell him everything, to tell him what this Daniel thinks I am. Ah well, he knows everything about me already, he even asked me directly about it, so let’s spill the beans.

“Yes, Dakota did. I’m not agreeing with her, though.” I said.

“Bullshit! If you found him, and Dakota has agreed upon it, then he must be one hell of an Alpha, to be your mate!” Terrence stated to me.

“Yes, and what if I agree with you? I would jump in his arms, and then what? Give up my pack? Go to his house and be the silly Luna-housewife he wants me to be? Hell no!” I said, while pushing him away.

I turned myself around again, and rinsed my hair from the soap that was still in it.

Terrence grabbed my hips and turned me back.

“You know you have to either talk to him soon, or you will have to reject him formally.” He said.

“No, I don’t have to do either. There is no bond yet, at least not for me, so I won’t get into heat anytime soon. And if I do, you can take care of it, I don’t care.”

“I won’t do it.” He said.

“I’ll command you to.”

“I’ll kill myself.”

“Aargh! Get out of my face!” I yelled.

I pushed him aside and grabbed my towel to dry myself.

“Don’t walk away, please, this is our first fight.” Terrence said to me.

I sighed, stopped in my movement and turned around, with the towel wrapped around my body.

“You know everything of me, every piece of my body, but also every piece of my mind. You know that I can’t commit to this. To having a mate. I’m not capable of love, not actual love. So, if I should accept my mate, and if we should miraculously found a way to combine our packs, so I don’t have to give up on all of it, and even if all the obstacles are out of our way… Then still, how could anyone love me?” I stood there, looking at Terrence, but he didn’t say a word.

“I’m broken, defiled, and cold-hearted, I have built up mile high-walls, because of all those years of torture. There is no one who can open me up, crack this hardened shell of emotionless character.” I said, while pointing at myself.

“That’s not true, Amy can rile you up even more. She has made several cracks in that tough skull of yours.” Terrence said.

He was right about that, Amy can say anything to me, even insult me, and with the slightest words she says, she can anger me a lot, but I never seem to be able to hurt her. Somehow she is someone that I care for, as the moment she was pushed in that cell, and being raped by Milos, she was mine to protect.

I love her, in a strange way. And I love Terrence too, for talking to me about difficult subjects and taking his time to know everything about me. He is the most patient wolf I have ever seen, and the most trustworthy one as well.

But actually loving someone, as in romantically love, no, I’m not capable of that.

I chuckled at his comment. “Yes you are right. Terrence, and I’m sorry that I yelled to you.” I said.

“Ow, don’t make me cry! This is the first time you have said sorry to me, in all these years!” He said, with over-the-top drama, lingering in his voice.

“Knock it off!” I said half complaining and half laughing, while hitting his shoulder.

Terrence turned off the shower, and dried himself off as well.

“Now, are you going to tell me, which Alpha has you so distracted?” Terrence asked me, while we walked up to our chambers.

“I don’t know who’s pack he belongs to, but he said his name was Daniel.” I said, and kept on walking.

After a few steps, I couldn’t hear any footsteps behind me anymore, so I turned around. Terrence stood there, jaw dropped, body frozen, with his hands stuck in in a towel.

It took him a moment, before he could speak again. “Dark blue suit, black shoes, white shirt, black hair and a tattoo on his neck?” Terrence said.

“Yes he wore a nice suit, it might have been blue, not sure. And indeed he has a small tribal tattoo, of a werewolf. Why, is he your former Alpha or something?” I asked him.

“Well he is, and always will be our Alpha.” Terrence said.

“What? What do you mean?”

“He is the Alpha King! Em, your mate is the Alpha King!”

“Oh, fuck off, you must be wrong. Anyone could have that tattoo. Tsk, get lost.” I said, and just kept on walking.