Lycanthropy

How does it feel to be yourself?

How do you cry and laugh at the same time?

How do you place one foot in front of the other, when nothing you can think about, will bring you into a better future?

My mother used to say: “Love doesn’t ask for anything, love just longs to be accepted and to be there for another day.”

What love? Do I ask myself each and every day. Who could I love? Or better yet, who could ever love me? Those words my mother spoke off, are words that will never be understood by me.

“So, ready for round two?” Milos asked.

“Why ask? It’s not like you’re giving me a choice.” I replied.

“Now, now girly, don’t be like that. You are given food and a roof above your head. So, I’d suggest you better do as I ask.”

Well, you could say a lot about him, but a liar he is not. Sure, his abusiveness and torture makes him a terrible person, but he was right, I was given plenty of food and had a room for myself.

Yep... Stale bread and cold boiled meat, and a cell in the dungeons of the arena, all for myself.

let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

I stood up from my bed, a blanket on an aluminium block, and walked to the door of the cell. Upon reaching it, Milos opened it and lead me to the arena upstairs.

“And now, the one whom you have all been waiting for! Princess Delilah!” As was yelled through the microphone.

Princess Delilah was not my name, nor my title. I was actually laughing about it, picturing myself in a castle, in a faraway land. Eating grapes and being waited by servants, with just the wave of my hand. Right...

Nope, that was not my life, or my future.

I was only a means for Milos to get money, for him to become filthy rich even. Sometimes I wonder why he didn’t treat me better, since I’m the person that causes him to become this rich. But I had given up asking for more, a better place to live, or a better bed, or even some better meals, but he wouldn’t give me any.

No matter how good I fought in the ring, no matter how fast I killed my opponents, it was never good enough.

And if you think that I could fight myself out of this, as I am apparently strong enough to have won a lot of fights, then you are wrong. Everywhere, but literally everywhere are cameras, electronic fences, guards and locked doors with iris-scans and passwords that change every twenty-four hours.

I know, because I have tried to get through them. I even succeeded to get to the last door once, which led outside, but then I got shot by three separate guards.

There is no way on earth that I can die, have tried that plenty of times as well, but leaving this place as a dead person is not an option either. And Milos knows it.

That’s why he can do whatever he wants with me. He only gives me the bread and boiled meat because my body won’t give up. Sure, it would be better to have meals with more nutrition, but I’m not going to die anytime soon, so why should he bother? He will get me to fight anyway, and I win every time.

And if I don’t win, which would only be if I'm bored, he will just punish me until he is sick of seeing me bleed. So, why should I bother to fail my fight? I don’t like to bleed, it hurts. Although, it makes me feel alive as well...

Even so, the past three-hundred-and-thirty-six battles have I been undefeated.

And because I never lost for such a long time, other masters took it upon their job to find the toughest, strongest and most badass fighters there are. Only to try and defeat me, which would result them into being rewarded by a million dollars.

But I wasn’t someone being able to lose, I love to win, and most of the times the fighters would just insult me. Not by what they were saying, but by their own characters. The appearance of those arrogant males bothered me because some of them were just like me, stronger than any human, yet not strong enough to kill me.

So, I’m here, twenty-four, trained by my father to be a warrior, only to be locked up from my sixteenth birthday to be used in an arena, for eight years already. Joy oh joy.

The bell had rung and the man in front of me was checking me out from top to bottom, whistling at my appearance.

“How could this puny girl, beat me? Is that something that you are wondering?” I asked him.

“Or are you actually afraid, that you can’t kill me? Nahh... you can’t be that smart, right?” I continued.

He raised a brow and suddenly laughed. Okay he is one of the stupid ones, I guess. All buffed up, thinking he could snap my neck in half, in just two seconds.

Maybe I should let him.

But what would be the fun in that? Yes, Milos would lose a million dollar, but with his money he wouldn’t care for just one second. Instead, he would be torturing me for days though, reminding me of all the favours he had granted me...

Me losing a fight would have injured his name, embarrassed his legacy, as he called it for as long as I can remember.

His legacy... Ha! It is to die for. Well, if you can die from laughing that is. Hmm... maybe I should try that one. Never had tried to commit suicide by laughter. Nope, doesn’t feel like a good effort. I never laugh, nor could I laugh so much that I could die from it.

Alright, I’ll snap his neck then. After I play with him.

He was fast, I’ll give him that. He even managed to hit me every once in a while, but those hits of his, doesn’t bother me. Ha, I don’t even think that it would leave any bruising.

Evading left, evading right, rolling to the sides and jumping over him. Kicking his feet from under his body, grabbing him by the throat, twisting his neck and... Snap!

Oh, new record, three minutes and twenty-three seconds. That must have been the longest battle I’ve ever been in!

I’m wondering when they will send an Alpha in here. Maybe a man that is actually strong to begin with, will give me more of a challenge.

Nahh, those human masters can never succeed into capturing an Alpha to do their bidding. Stupid men. They can never do anything right.