Lycan's Affection

"Conaan," Eleanor said, turning to him, her eyes wide. "Killing Alexander right now is..."

"Is what?" He said, leaning back, his eyes searching hers. "Do you deem his blood too expensive for my mate bond?"

Eleanor swallowed. She had absolutely no feelings left for Alexander. And even if the question was thrown at her once she woke up, she wouldn't choose Alexander. She knew that much.

But she didn't want him dead. Not at all. Even if that meant keeping her mate bond. For Matthew. She knew enough about honor to know she was bound by her promise to him, especially with all the help he had given her.

"I know I am being foolish. I know I am going to hurt you..."

"Then do not do it, Eleanor." Conaan's teeth were gritted, and she could see the twisted circumstances were getting to him, getting through his skin. She didn't want to risk it. She didn't want to risk unleashing the beast Conaan was because she, the only person who could tame him refused to.

"Killing a werewolf without reason is not the right thing to do, Conaan."

She turned to Meredith, who looked rather confused at her.

"If I understand you, Eleanor," Meredith interjected. "You would rather keep the mate bond severed than spill a werewolf's blood? They are our natural enemies, and you should have no feelings left if you are here, so...why would you care?"

Conaan turned to her, his eyes thin like Meredith had asked the question he had always wanted to ask.

Eleanor swallowed. "It just....It simply isn't right."

"I do not recall you feeling so morally wronged with Esmeralda, or even with me. Do not lead me into believing there is something else." His voice was choked, restrained, and she could almost hear his blood boiling with the short distance between them.

Meredith gave a small sigh. "Your Highness, I will see you at moonlight tonight."

Conaan only gave a small nod at her, his eyes still focused on Eleanor who seemed determined to avoid his gaze.

"Escort him out," Conaan said, and Anderson was pulled roughly to his feet, then escorted out, right after Meredith.

The silence was steely, the tension thick and foggy like the gradual anger that took over Conaan's beautiful features.

"Answer me, Eleanor."

"It just is not right, Conaan."

"What do you mean it is not right? Your heart wavered from the very beginning, I should have killed him right then. He had the nerve to make you waver. I bestowed mercy one too many times even when he tried to kill me. Why do you not keep these lectures and let me do the killing? I heard they learn better in the pits of hell."

"You are not a beast like that!" Eleanor said, standing up. She swallowed, her cheat heaving. "So you would spill a person's blood because you would rather have your mate bond instead?"

"Yes!" Conaan said, sitting up. "I would burn the world for my mate bond. My only concern is you. If I was asked to slit Anderson, Meredith, or the entire council for my mate bond, I would not bat an eyelash. And with Alexander, I swear I would do it with pleasure."

Eleanor turned to him, her eyes wide, her breath stopping in her throat. She swallowed, her lips slightly trembling, her nails nipping at each other till she could feel her flesh under her nails.

"You kissed me, Eleanor." Conaan's voice was now softer, but his eyes weren't. They were accusatory, like he was starting to hate everything. Like he wished he wasn't king, like he wished none of it happened.

"You kissed me and I made it clear to you that I wanted you to love me first. What were you thinking? Leading me on? What did you want? To see me break down for you all over again? What is Alexander's blood in comparison to us, to the crown? What is his blood in comparison to everything we could have shared?"

Her fists clenched beside her, and she swallowed, drawing the final stroke. She knew she would hurt him, but she didn't think she could live with Alexander's blood on her hands, or her mate bond.

"It is not exactly my fault that the will of the moon goddess was severed like that."

Conaan's brows furrowed. "What?"

"King Javier is responsible for everything that has happened. Do not blame me because I do not want to make things right with blood on my hands. If you wanted....if you wanted the mate bond so badly...you should have convinced your father first."

Conaan's body visibly relaxed, like he needed to hear it. A small smile took over his lips, and he shook his head, then slowly stood up. He towered over her, and he took slow steps, till she could feel the difference.

"And I waited through it. My father's mistakes. Your mistakes. If that is not enough to convince you, that I am not the same in my opinion of you as my father was, then realize he is dead, and I stand here."

Eleanor swallowed, then swiftly caught his arm before he walked away. He turned, his brows raising.

"Do not kill Alexander. I beg of you. I will do everything..."

"Everything?" Conaan asked. "Everything, Eleanor?"

She nodded, swallowing, her lips parting as she met his eyes. His anger has seeped in, colouring his green eyes a light shade of red.

He shook his head painfully, then with a small movement, let go of his arm from her grip. She gave a small gasp as her fingers yanked at his fabric instead, and she looked up again, knowing she had finally crossed his lines.

"I am so tired of fighting for you," he said, his voice low. He let out a small breath, his chest heaving lightly, and for a second, he just stayed there, watching her, like he hoped she would ask him to hold on with the same fervor she had asked him to save Alexander.

She said nothing, her head low, a single tear escaping her eye. He swallowed, nodding, like he got all his answers. With one swift motion, his thumb wiped away the tear under her eye.

He did not wait till she looked up to him, and he was gone, the moisture of her tear still lingering on his finger.