Chapter 37. Memory lane
Kaylin’s POV
The meeting with William makes me feel some relief inside. I realize now that he understands the pain he causes by saying such things to me and is obviously sad about it. Hopefully, we can move on now and no longer walk around in circles without ever reaching out to one another. If I may choose, William would be part of our relationship trio. However, it’ll take a lot for it to be an opportunity again since I first need to process his deeds and words that have shaken me fundamentally. In time, I can hopefully let it go even if we don’t get together.
Until then, it’s enough to know that he’s ready to take his role as Aurora’s father and, together with me, try to create the best possible circumstances for her in life. In addition, this complicated situation allows me to get to know Nathan in the same way that I know William, if not even better. For me, it’s still unimaginable that a mate bond works the way it does. Like suddenly feeling a scent and knowing it’s the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with? Such things you only read about in lousy fantasy novels.
At least that’s what I thought until I met Nathan. It wasn’t gold and green forests when I met William, considering how it all started. But on the other hand, it wasn’t with Nathan either, even though our first meeting was a little calmer if we ignore the fact that I gave birth to my child, who has another father. However, you can’t ignore the fact that Nathan and I do more “relationship things” than William and I did. I’m lucky to have Nathan in my life, and I plan to take advantage of that journey for as long as possible. When, where, and how is the problem here and not the “why?”.
“Okay, measure up exactly three cups of flour,” I say, watching as Adelita follows my instructions. “Great! Oh, Lucia, be careful when cracking the eggs; we don’t want to have shells in the bowl.”
When I woke up this morning, I decided to bake brownies with the kids, and they were quick to accept my invitation. That’s why the kitchen looks like a bombshell at the moment. However, considering how much fun we have and how much the kids laugh while joking with each other, it doesn’t matter. Alexander and Elias sit on a soft blanket some distance away from the kitchen, Aurora between them on the floor. They caress her cheeks and kiss her forehead from time to time. You can’t understand how sweet it is if you don’t see it. Aleida went to bed again when I got up since I gave her the opportunity.
As a parent, you always take the opportunity to sleep more whenever you can since the little people you love require a lot of your attention and energy during the day. She looked dead tired, and I planned to bake with the children anyway, so why not let her sleep a little? Aleida is doing so much for me, even before I got out of the cell and the least I can do is return the favor a small part. A big black-brown wolf comes in through the kitchen door, and the twins growl at it; I don’t recognize it, making me roar too.
“Uncle Nathan!” Alexander exclaims in an angry tone, and I relax when I realize that the wolf is harmless. “You can’t get too close in your wolf form, and you know that!”
Alexander continues to mumble, clearly irritated, and Elias nods approvingly while they both hug Aurora again. I laugh at my mate’s startled expression before helping Benita, who’s about to pour the batter on the floor. Nathan comes up behind me and puts his arms around my waist in a hug.
“Good morning, mate,” he mumbles and kisses my head.
“Good morning,” I answer and turn around.
Oh, my God! I know my mate is hot, yet I’m just as surprised every time I get to see proof of it. His muscular upper body is entirely bare, and the training shorts hang dangerously low on his hips. I break out of my fog when Nathan chuckles at my shameless look and my cheeks heat.
“You’re too adorable, my goddess,” he says, kissing my forehead before hugging me again.
The rest of Nathan’s family comes down the stairs, still yawning, and stops with eyes wide open when they see the kitchen.
“What’s going on here?” Kian asks, confused with disheveled hair.
“We’re baking, daddy!” Lucia exclaims cheerfully.
“Yes, aunt Kaylin is helping us make bownies!” Benita continues.
“Brownies, Benita, brownies,” I correct, and she smiles big at me.
“Brownies.”
“Good girl,” I say, giving her a high-five.
“How wonderful you are, mis queridos,” Aleida says, kissing Adelita on her forehead.
(My darlings.)
“Whose idea was it to start an early morning bakery?” Miliano asks with a yawn, and I’m quick to stretch my hand up.
“Mine, I couldn’t sleep, and your puppies are so cute,” I respond, gently squeezing Benita’s cheeks, making her laugh at what I’m doing.
“How can you bake this early in the morning with nine little terrorists and your own little princess?” Kian asks.
“Oh, there’s only seven of them I bake with. Aurora is safe with two strong warriors by her side,” I reply, and he looks at the loving little place my daughter lies on with her mates.
“Oh, you’re so cute, boys!” Aleida exclaims, and Kian moves toward the boys who growl at him. “How dare you growl at your father!?”
“Sorry, mama,” Elias replies and then looks up at his dad. “Sorry, papa.”
“Mhm, that’s better,” Aleida replies, picking up Aurora from the floor. “Just for that, you can’t cuddle with your mate for the rest of the day.”
The boys begin to whine but stop immediately when their mother gives them a stern look. Aleida then starts cooing at Aurora in Spanish and walks upstairs after I nod at her to indicate that it’s okay.
“Never go against what a woman tells you, boys,” I say, and the men in the room look questioningly at me. “Especially not if they have an authority like your mother.”
“Sorry, aunt Kaylin,” they say in unison and hang with their heads, which amazes me.
“Why are you saying sorry to me?” I ask, confused.
“You’re our mother-in-law; it felt fitting,” Alexander responds with a shrug before taking his twin’s hand to hurry after their mother to attempt to change her decision about Aurora.
“How you get the boys wrapped around your little finger, I’ll never understand,” Nathan laughs.
“Aunt Kaylin, we’re done!” Lucia proudly advertises and shows off the form full of batter.
“Perfect! Then what do we do?” I ask to teach them to know how to bake.
“Into the oven!” the triplets exclaim excitedly, and I nod, laughing.
“Now we need to wait a while before they’re ready. Can you be good and wash your hands in the meantime?”
“But aunt Kaylin, we’ve messed up the kitchen!” Adelita exclaims like we’ve done something scandalous.
“Yes, we have, and mom always says that we should pick up what we’ve used!” Benita continues.
“That’s why we’re helping to clean up,” Lucia concludes, looking at the men. “All of us.”
Laughingly, the men begin to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and wipe the sticky surfaces. When Miliano lifts Santiago and throws him into the air, I smile. My dad used to do that to me when I was a kid, and the memory makes my eyes tear up. Nathan as the observant mate he is, notices my state of mind and kisses my cheek.
“What is it, baby?” he asks and hugs me.
“I just came to think of my dad,” I answer as if it’s not a big deal, even though it is, at least for me. “He used to throw me up in the air and catch me the same way when I was a kid.”
Nathan looks at his nephew and brother-in-law before he gets a mischievous grin on his lips. Before I have time to react, he lifts me, and I don’t know what he’s doing.
“Nathan!” I shriek. “Put me down!”
He throws me up in the air the same way Miliano does with his son, and I laugh at how stupid it must look to the others. At the same time, it amazes me what strength my mate has! I’m not very heavy, but an adult and a small child of six years is a big difference in weight. Regardless, I decide to enjoy the comfort my mate is trying to contribute by pushing aside my grief. There’s a time and place for everything, grief included, and neither is right now. He catches me one last time in his arms and chuckles. Our eyes stare into each other, and the blue eyes show a love I’ve never seen before.
I caress his cheeks with my hands and press my lips against his in a gentle dance. It’s not until the kids make an “ew” sound that we let go of each other and laugh. Aleida comes back into the kitchen with Aurora in her arms and two sultry sons behind her. I accept my girl and smile at her.
“Hey, baby girl,” I say in a cooing voice. “You’re beautiful. Yes, you are. Thank god you didn’t take too much after your dad. No, you didn’t.”
“Ouch,” a voice says, and I stop.
Slowly I turn around and meet William in the doorway. I expect the other wolves to growl, but none of them do, not even Nathan.
“William,” I point out as if no one else knows who it is. “What are you doing here?”
“You would have known that if you answered your phone,” he replies, smiling big enough that his fangs show. “I was going to borrow Aurora for a couple of hours.”
For some reason, I go on the offensive right away and growl at him on my own. I put my daughter in Nathan’s arms and use my speed to show up in front of William before pushing him up against the wall.
“What kind of game are you playing, William?” I growl. “You can’t just show up and take her when it suits you. You’re the one who said I could choose how and when Aurora will be with you.”
“I don’t play anything but simply want to meet my daughter,” he calmly replies. “You react like I’m here to take her away from you.”
“Well, are you?” I ask, suspicious.
“No,” he replies, and I study his face carefully before letting go of him. “However, I can understand why you find it difficult to let go of her, even though it’s only a few hours. Considering everything that has taken place at earlier stages in your life...”
His words make me think of all those I lost, and I realize he’s right. I’m terrified to let Aurora out of my sight because she might as well disappear from me as everyone else did; this is truly not healthy. I need help!
“Where are you going to take her?” I ask after a moment of silence and pick up my daughter from my mate.
“I was just going to take a walk; you’re welcome to come along if you feel anxious,” he suggests, and I’m surprised at his thoughtfulness.
“I might just as well do that; you’ve probably never even held a baby before,” I mumble while Nathan laughs at my bitterness. “Aleida, could you please take the brownies out when they’re done? I promised they’d get to taste them after breakfast.”
“Of course, Kay,” she replies, smiling big with her whole face full of batter. “Have fun and call if you need anything!”
I kiss Nathan on the cheek and proceed to follow William out the door. We walk in silence, and I see in the corner of my eye as he glances at me from time to time. He wants to say something but doesn’t.
“What do you want to say, William?” I ask with a smile playing on my lips without looking at him.
“You know, it feels weird that you call me ‘William’ now. I’m still used to you calling me all those things you used to,” he says, and I stop on the sidewalk to look at him.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Everyone calls me ‘Will,’ and there’s nothing fancy about it, except when you do. It’s like you’re hugging each letter with all the love you had for me when you said my name,” he explains and smiles sadly.
I give him our daughter, and his eyes shine as soon as their bodies make contact. He caresses her chubby little cheek with his knuckle and starts moving forward again.
“I can’t call you that anymore, at least not in the same way,” I explain.
“Why not?”
“Because many things have changed since then, even who we are as people. Just look at us, a few weeks have passed, and we hardly recognize each other anymore.”
“That’s not true!”
“Isn’t it?” I challenge. “Had the Kaylin you once knew reacted as I did to you wanting to hang out with our daughter? I even surprised myself at my reaction; I’m sorry about that, by the way.”
“Okay, you have a point,” he mumbles and sighs soundly. “But it doesn’t have to continue that way. We’re two adult people, and we can get to know each other again, for real this time.”
A tiny glimmer of hope shimmers in my heart, and I start to think, “what if.” As I mentioned earlier, both Nathan and William would be in a relationship with me in the best of worlds. These thoughts are dangerous because I don’t yet know if he’s serious about what he wants. I’m afraid he’ll break my heart again, and that’s because I know I can’t survive it one more time. William looks at me with hope, and I feel like I have to give him a chance anyway, one last opportunity to make the bad parts good.
“Okay,” I answer, and he shines like a sun. “But I have conditions.”
“What conditions?” he asks and furrows his eyebrows.
“I want you to promise me on your honor that you’ll never see to it that I’m not allowed to be with Aurora. She’s the most important thing in the world to me, and if this is some kind of plan to take her, then I now warn you that you won’t live to see the sunrise,” I answer.
“I promise and swear it’s not in my plans,” he replies, looking hurt.
“The second thing I want is that you promise that you won’t get tired of me and change your mind suddenly. If we’re to be your family, you can’t continue to put the clan first. You can’t turn your coat in the direction the wind blows when it suits you. If you want to get to know me, you need to understand why these terms exist from the beginning.”
“I promise not to hurt neither you nor our daughter in any way.”
“Well, then we agree,” I answer and smile. “I understand that it hurts that I have to hold these things as my conditions, but at the same time, I think that you realize the seriousness of the situation if you don’t fulfill your promises. Because I promise you that I won’t be there anymore if you do.”
We stop in a forest glade and sit down on the soft grass. The sun is shining, and the atmosphere is peaceful for once.
“Why did you bite me against my will at your house?” I ask suddenly because I realize that the thought hasn’t struck me before.
“I didn’t want a beloved from the start, which I take for granted that you know by now?” he asks, and I nod. “My dad was a cruel man who pushed people harder than they could handle. I remember once when he wanted to test my instincts and threw me into a pit full of poisonous snakes.”
I gasp when I hear his words. How can anyone want to harm their child like that!? Okay, I can understand that it’s essential to be the best of the best as a high-ranking vampire, but that was indeed a little too much? There are limits to what kind of training is all right; it should strengthen and not crack.
“Were you bitten?” I ask curiously, and he nods with a sad smile on his lips.
“As you know, vampires can’t die from common diseases caused by physical things if we ignore the fact that someone cuts our heads off or something like that. I didn’t die, but I had to endure terrible pain for days after.”
“But if we can’t die of such things, why do you worry so much that I have broken heart syndrome?” I ask, confused.
“I said that we couldn’t die from diseases caused by physical things. Your illness is due to emotional and mental pain; it’s not the same thing,” he explains, and even though I don’t understand perfectly, I let it go. “Anyway, another time, he tortured my human friend until he died before my eyes. My father claimed to strengthen me and realize that emotions don’t belong inside a clan leader. ‘You get nowhere by showing empathy for other people; you have to learn to take what you want,’ he used to say, and somewhere in those years, I got stuck in his way of thinking, even though I actually think it’s wrong. For years, I followed his ‘rules’ of living to get the clan to the top until I met you. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I never meant for that to happen either. All I could think about when you went away with the council was that I’d do anything to be the one you wake up next to every morning, everyone else could hate me, and I’d still die happy, as long as I knew that at least a small part of you loved me the way I love you.”
My tears fall over my cheeks, and I have it easier to understand William’s pain than before. It goes without saying that such a traumatic childhood puts a trace in you as an adult, and it can be challenging to get out of. But hearing that he still loves me after all the horrible things we’ve suffered through warms my soul in more ways than I can describe. Maybe it’s my hormones that still haunt my head when I suddenly lean forward to press my lips against his. His free hand holds my head close, and our lips dance gracefully over each other with passion.
“You get one last chance,” I say when we part. “I don’t know what Nathan will say about this, and he has the right to know what’s going on, especially when he’s involved.”
William chuckles a little, kisses my forehead, and draws me to himself. He puts an arm around my shoulders, and I lean towards him.
“I don’t think he’s going to mind sharing the woman he loves with one of his best friends,” he replies.
I don’t know if I’m stupid because I’m giving him a second chance. On the other hand, it’s no more than right, given that the goddesses gave me Nathan for doing nothing.
A/N:
Hello dear readers!
After all, Kaylin chooses to give William one last chance; whether it’s a good or bad choice, only time can decide.
❀ Do you think it’s right or wrong of her?
✿ What will the rest of the gang like about it?
❀ Can the trio make their relationship work?
Please, give me some comments about what you think about the chapter and the book so far. I have no way of developing unless I get any feedback from you. That’s most important to me when it comes to my books.<3