Chapter 29. How far is too far?
Kaylin’s POV
I’m in a stage between numb and conscious. Using massive power wasn’t the right choice. It’s especially not a smart move when I know it’s draining my body every time I use more than I can handle. Nor did it help that I found myself in a situation that I considered threatening to my daughter. For my little Aurora, I’ll use all the power in the world to ensure that no one comes near her when they’re a direct threat to her existence. Mate or beloved doesn’t matter either; no one exposes my girl to danger, no one. The strange thing is that when I lost consciousness, I could still feel my heart tear apart.
Not literally, considering I’m alive. Everything hurt, but suddenly all the pain disappeared, and I could slip back into a deep sleep. I have no idea why or what calmed me down; the only thing I know is that I needed whatever was close to me. Someone obviously understood, and who knows, maybe that’s what saved my life. From time to time, I hear voices talking in my vicinity without determining who says what. Today, however, it’s different; now, I can clearly listen when Aleida talks in the room with authority and her two boys whining over their mother’s words.
“It doesn’t matter!” Aleida whispers, annoyed. “You’re not jumping on Kaylin’s bed to wake her up; it’s as simple as that! She doesn’t sleep as you do when you’ve gotten a bedtime story in the evening, she sleeps much deeper than that, and we can’t wake her. Your mate’s mother needs to wake up on her own, end of discussion.”
Alexander and Elias make “humpf” sounds before it gets quiet again. A small click echoes quietly in the room, and it’s the silence that helps me be able to open my eyes. I make an effort to cope with it, and after a few seconds, I manage to open them slightly. The light from the lamp above me dazzles, and I close my eyelids as quickly as I open them. My fingers twitch when I try to move. My whole body aches, and I groan. Someone moves inside the room, and suddenly Aleida’s head appears in my field of vision. She smiles big and caresses my cheek.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty,” she says softly. “You’ve been sleeping a long time now. It’s about time you woke up.”
I’m trying to sit up, but Aleida’s holding me back. Gently she pushes me down against the soft mattress again and instead presses a button that lifts the bed’s top. She takes adequate time to raise the part, and I understand why when each new position pains me indescribably. After a few minutes of my groans and Aleida’s words of encouragement, I sit up, leaning back with an aching body. Aleida holds out a glass with a straw which she helps me drink from. She sits down again and holds my hand between hers with a troubled facial expression.
“You made us all worried, Kay,” she says quietly, and I don’t know what to answer. “I understand that the situation was pressing and that you did what you thought was best at the time. But please don’t do that again. You have strong powers in your body, but you also have limitations on what you’re capable of. Even though you’re a vampire, you’re not immortal.”
“What’s wrong with me?” I whisper, and her face fills with sadness again.
“You have broken heart syndrome,” she replies, and I’m instantly puzzled.
“I didn’t think vampires or other supernatural beings could die from such,” I answer.
“It takes a lot to kill a supernatural, but we’re not immortal either of us. We don’t get sick as easily as others. Since I was born, I’ve never had a single cold, but this doesn’t mean that I can’t get serious diseases that my wolf can’t cure. Above all, not when it isn’t a physical illness but a mental pain,” Aleida responds. “Your problem with your heart is due to the stress and the trauma exposed to you. It became too much for your body to handle, and coupled with using more power than you should have, your body switched off. If you do something this stupid again, I’m going to kick your ass!”
I slowly nod and understand what she means; one of my few friends who stands on my side worries about me and wants what’s best for me. I realize it was a stupid thing to do since I wasn’t really in a threatening situation. Instead, it was an automatic reaction to protect us when I felt Nathan’s and Williams’ strong auras pulsate in the room like a blast. Can you really blame me? My psyche is in a situation that I can’t process yet, at least not all at once. I’ve got a long road ahead of me before my mental chains let go of me.
The traumatic experiences, betrayal from my beloved, giving birth to my daughter, find out that I have a mate, and now this. Yes, the last part is my fault. However, that doesn’t change anything, given that I still have to process. I’m going to get through the darkness, just not today. If others in my vicinity can be patient with me and don’t kick my legs out as soon as I start standing independently, I’m sure I can manage to return at least some part of who I was. That person who loved to help others and was at her best when she got to do it.
“Where’s Aurora?” I suddenly ask and feel the familiar anxiety come back.
“She sleeps over there,” Aleida replies, pointing to a hospital crib for newborns in the corner of the room.
Carefully I move the blanket and throw my legs over the edge of the bed. Aleida stands up and helps me move to my little sleeping girl. Aurora opens her eyes as I approach, and I immediately pick her up in my arms to embrace the meaning of my life. She yawns big, and her eyelids heavy of sleep close as fast as they open. With Aleida’s help, I get myself back to bed and sit down with my girl. Aleida’s eyes glaze over, and I realize someone is sending her a mindlink. She smiles and looks at us again.
“Your mate, beloved, and my sons want to enter the room. Is that okay?” she asks, and I nod.
Aurora wakes up and whines, making me think that I haven’t breastfed her once since she was born. Hopefully, the nurses have with replacement milk or the like. I pull down my hospital gown and let my daughter latch onto my nipple. Aleida helps to put a thin blanket over my shoulder to make sure that I have a little opportunity to cover myself while my child is eating. A light knock comes from the door, and the little boys, who are copies of their dads, comes into the room. They smile when they see me and immediately climb into bed.
“Why are you hiding my mate?” Alexander asks confusedly, and I smile.
“She’s eating,” I answer, looking up when the other two enter the room.
“Is she under there?” Elias asks and looks at the blanket.
I nod, and Alexander lifts on one side to look. Nathan growls, amused and the little puppy looks questioningly at his uncle.
“Stop looking at my mate’s private parts,” he laughs, and Alexander smiles sheepishly.
Aurora finish, and I lift her to my shoulder. I use my palm to gently pat her on the back until she releases one of the loudest burps I’ve ever heard in my life. Aleida laughs soundly, and I do the same. That’s my girl!
“Atta, girl!” I laugh and smile at the little one in my arms. “I can tell you’re my child.”
“May we hold our mate again?” Elias asks, and I put their mate down between my legs.
The boys lay down on each side as the day before and caress her cheeks gently. I avoid looking at the men in my life and instead focus on what’s happening in front of me. Someone knocks on the door yet again, and Aleida’s mates enter the room.
“You’re hopeless, boys,” Miliano laughs.
“As if you aren’t the same with my sister,” Nathan replies with a light laugh.
“It warms my heart to know that my little girl will always be protected,” I say, smiling and caressing the boys’ cheeks. “She’s fortunate to have such strong and gentle warriors to take care of her.”
Elias is the first to react to what I say and hug me. Alexander does the same shortly after that. I lift Aurora and put her on my lap. When I make sure she’s lying steadily, I place my arms around the boys who nuzzle into my embrace. Aleida makes an “aw” sound, and I look questioningly at her.
“The boys are very possessive when it comes to family. You’re the first person I see they take care of and mind about,” she explains with a smile on her plump lips. “They inherited that from their fathers.”
She laughs out the last part, and her mates growl low before standing next to her. Kian lifts her in her arms.
“You’re walking on thin ice, mate of mine,” he whispers and kisses her forehead.
Aleida squeals and Kian walks out the door. Miliano wants to go with them, so much is clear.
“I can watch the boys,” I say, smiling at him. “Take care of your mate; we’re okay.”
He smiles big before hurrying out after his brother and mate. Nathan and William are still in the room but don’t talk to me. Maybe it’s just as good given that three children are present, two of whom understand what we’re talking about. Aurora is the first to fall asleep, and the boys do the same shortly afterward.
“You look good, Kaylin,” William suddenly says, and I slowly raise my head to look at him.
“What we see with our eyes isn’t always the truth,” I answer in a cold voice.
A nurse comes into the room and smiles when she sees that I’m awake. Carefully she walks towards me and observes my values as quietly as possible, not to awaken the sweetness sleeping next to me.
“You’re healing nicely, Kaylin,” she says. “Your body is recovering faster than we’re used to, which probably has to do with your bloodline. If you want, both you and Aurora can go home today.”
Her words make me feel empty because I have nothing left to call home anymore. I can’t live in my dad’s house without him; William’s place is out of the question since I’ll probably demolish it to the ground if he forces me to live there, and staying here with Aleida is unsustainable in the long run.
“There’s nothing left to call home anymore,” I say with some sadness. “We’ll build our own. I’m not living in a castle, like Rapunzel.”
I can’t help growling when the thought strikes me that others now expect me to lead an entire race while sitting locked behind a desk all day, neglecting my daughter and all this just for power. No, my daughter goes before everything.
“I apologize, your majesty,” the young nurse says, bowing. “It wasn’t my intention to upset you.”
“It’s okay, but I’d appreciate it if I could get a change of clothes and have someone clean my daughter,” I say, sighing.
“Of course, I’ll be back in a minute.”
She walks out of the room, and I gently caress the boys’ hair until they both wake up. I smile at their newly awakened facial expressions.
“The nurse is coming in soon to get Aurora; you don’t have to worry. I promise you’ll see her again soon, okay?” I ask in the softest voice I have.
“Do we have to? We’re going to miss our mate,” Alexander says with a pout that makes Nathan laugh.
“Come on, boys. I also need to spend a little time with my mate, right?” he asks, and William growls low.
For some reason, I get pissed at William’s way of showing disrespect to a man he has to share me with. I growl louder than my beloved, and he bows his head when I show my dominance.
“That’s better,” I say, seeing how Nathan tries to hold back his laughter.
Gratefully, Aleida enters the room with the boys’ dads in tow. All three have disheveled hair, and I giggle at them. Aleida sheepishly smiles at me before moving closer to bed.
“I heard you’re getting discharged,” she says, and I nod.
“Yup, time to return to a world I don’t belong in,” I snort, and Aleida laughs at my dark humor.
“That’s exactly what I used to think before,” she giggles and turns to her boys. “Have you been nice to Kaylin?”
“Yeah, but we don’t get to hang out with mate until later,” Elias says with a pout that makes me laugh again.
“Aurora needs to sleep a little too; she’s not old enough to be able to stay awake a lot,” Aleida explains, and the boys hang with their heads in disappointment.
“If you’re nice to your mother, I promise we can take a walk together tomorrow with your mate. How about that?” I ask, and they both light up like suns before hurrying towards the door.
“Bye, auntie Kaylin!” they shout, and their dads hurry after.
“How you make my boys love you this way is a mystery, but I’m lying if I say it doesn’t warm my mommy heart,” Aleida says, hugging me before turning to the men of my life. “You two behave; otherwise, I promise you won’t be able to sit for a week.”
The nurse comes in while Aleida leaves the room and puts a pile of clothes on the bed. I hand over Aurora to her, but before she walks out of the room, I feel a strong need to make sure she knows what’s at stake.
“If anything happens to my daughter, I promise you that I’ll turn every vampire in the world against you. Have I made myself clear?” I ask with an icy tone and a sharp look.
“Yes, your highness,” she whispers and walks away.
I get up and feel some pain spreading in my body. Both William and Nathan arrive at me in seconds. I look suspiciously at them and let my gaze stay on my beloved a few seconds extra since I no longer trust him.
“Thank you,” I whisper and let them lead me into the bathroom.
Nathan smiles big, and William just nods before they leave me alone again. I take adequate time to shower, terrified of the conversation I know we must have when I get out. None of us know how to handle the situation we’re all in, hence the fear. What if they can’t get along, and I’m the one who gets caught up in the crossfire in the end? I’m still not sure how this mate/beloved thing works; I only know that I wish I never told William I chose him as my beloved since I don’t know how to forgive him. I want to be able to overlook what has happened and be understanding, to be able to see it from his perspective.
It’s just that every time I try, the only thing that pops into my head is pictures of him kissing Jennifer in front of my eyes. The torture I endured is nothing compared to that. I feel betrayed, and I don’t know how to get over it. Believe me; I don’t mean to sound selfish or be unruly. I simply no longer know how to handle anything. The events I haven’t processed yet come up in my head, and I struggle against the tears that slowly fill my eyes. After a few minutes, I decide to take the bull by the horns and take it as it comes. Tears shouldn’t fall, not now and not here.
I put on my clothes and breathe in deeply before opening the door. My beloved stands in a corner and looks sultry while my mate sits on my bed. When I enter the room, they look at me, and I feel like I have to start talking; otherwise, I won’t get it out of my mind.
“Okay, this is more confusing and complicated than any of us probably expected,” I begin, and William snorts. “I have a lot in my head right now and scars on my body that can’t heal, given what has occurred. What you have to understand is that I don’t know how to behave or work. This is brand new to me, and I’m not the person I once was. Something’s broken, and I don’t know how to find my way back to myself. The darkness surrounds me all the time, and just the thought that I no longer have my family in life hurts.”
I close my eyes and let a lonely tear travel down my cheek. Neither Nathan nor William says anything. Even if they were, what should they say? I’m broken and have two partners who aren’t prepared to divide me between them, even though our goddesses predestine it. That’s why I feel like I’m doing the best I can do. With a shaky breath, I do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and open my eyes.
“I can’t be anyone’s beloved or mate,” I say quietly, and both of them growl. “My main job is to be a good mother. Aurora is most important, and no one wants a broken person who’s beyond fixing.”
A/N:
Hello dear readers!
Kaylin tries to protect herself by making sure that both her beloved and mate stay away from her. Her heart obviously can’t handle more pain at the moment, literally! Can her predicted partners get along and help Kaylin through it?
❀ Should she choose between them?
✿ Are William’s reactions understandable?
❀ Why does Nathan have it more accessible to handle the growling and his instincts than William?
Please let me know your thoughts since they help me develop in my creative process! Thank you for reading, lots of love.<3