Love By Moonlight: A Small Town Grumpy Sunshine Romance (Solhaven Forevers Book 2)

It was late when Claire awoke. Stirring luxuriously, she remembered the shared passion of last night, the words that had been spoken at the height of their love-making, the feel of Daniel’s hands on her body, and her response to him. A smile curved her mouth, and she stretched like a cat, reaching out a hand to find him. Her hand fell on the sheet. Startled, she rolled over, eyes snapping open to see the space next to her empty, only the dent in the pillow showing where Daniel had been.

Of course. Claire smiled at her panic. He would be in the shower, or downstairs, or perhaps had gone for an early morning walk.

The shower was empty but scattered drops told her Daniel had been there before her. Stepping in, she lifted her face to the warm spray. She couldn’t keep the memory of their lovemaking out of her mind and Claire shivered with sensuous pleasure. A secret smile flitted across her face as heat pooled inside, wishing he was here, his mouth slick on her wet skin as his fingers worked their magic.

Running downstairs, Claire pushed open the door to the kitchen, joy putting a bounce in her step and a song on her lips. She hummed as she walked straight over to the kettle. There would be more nights with Daniel, days of getting to know him, years of sharing his life, and finally banning the distrustful look in his eyes, the wary set of his mouth.

Turning, she jerked back in shocked surprise.

He was there. Daniel was sitting at the table, an empty mug in front of him. His head was bowed, his body still.

Somehow, even without being able to see his expression, Claire could sense his despair. What was this? Eyeing him cautiously, she moved to sit on the chair next to him, stretching out her hand and gently laying it over his tense fingers.

‘I thought you’d gone out, for a walk maybe?’

He continued to sit in stony silence, his fingers remaining rigid under hers.

‘Daniel?’

‘Nothing’s changed,’ he said, shifting restlessly, looking at her with sadness in his eyes. ‘If I stayed, I’d poison us. You’d hate me in a month.’

Oh, how he infuriated her even as she loved him with all her heart. Why on earth was he being so stupid, especially now, after last night? There was so much they could share—painting, an interest in the gardens, their love of books, art and music. She loved his humour, his acute mind, the way they’d so quickly come to share joy in the simple things they’d done together in such a short time.

She loved his body, as well. The strength, the leanness, his hands, so long-fingered which last night had played her to a crescendo. Their lovemaking had been passionate, and each had cared for the needs of the other.

Yet… what about his trip to America? How would they get round that? She wasn’t going to throw over this chance in a lifetime job and follow him. She couldn’t. Had they built a strong enough relationship to withstand the separation? No, they hadn’t. Not strong enough to last so long. Okay, there were ways round this. He couldn’t come back during his ten months, but surely, she could take some holiday in the winter and fly over there?

‘Why? Why would I hate you?’ Her voice was an impassioned plea.

Daniel stood, strode over the back door, hesitated, then returned, dropping back into his seat, his fingers fidgeting with his cup, turning it round and round. ‘Because I’m not sure I could trust you, and you’d be angry, and rightly so,’ he answered with a bitter simplicity. ‘Last night, I never intended to make love to you. I honestly only came to talk.’ He swung sideways in the chair, his movements edgy, to stare out of the window. After a few moments, he turned back, his eyes sad. ‘I don’t want to hurt you. You’re not the type to give something like that lightly, I know that…’ He shook his head and buried his face in his hands, speaking with a muffled voice. ‘I can only apologise for what happened, and say again, I never intended it.’

‘It’s something you may not want to hear, but I’m not sorry. I love you, flaws and all. I love you because I like who you are and we get on. I think we could make a go of things. I think we could sort this out.’ Claire said imploringly, her heart in her voice. ‘I accept I might have to live with your distrust for a while, but you’d soon realise I won’t let you down.’

‘Look, you know I’ve got to go to America. The whole time I’m there, I’m going to be wondering. Wondering if you’ll become bored without me. Wondering if you’ll take up with one of the group of people you’re so friendly with down at the pub. Wondering if another guest will come along and charm you. I’ll ask not-so-subtle questions, and you’ll be hurt and upset and wonder what the future holds if I can’t do something as essential as trust you in our relationship.’

‘I think I could cope. We can have face-to-face talks. We can text and email. I could fly over in the winter.’

He hesitated. She saw it, saw the flash of hope briefly lighten his face before it closed down again.

‘I warned you, remember? I told you to leave me be. Give me time, Claire. Give me time to sort myself out, okay? When I come back from America, I hope things will be better. I’d like to come back and we could try again? I’d like to, I really would.’

‘What? A whole year apart and no communication between us? That’s a hell of an ask, Daniel. We need to continue to build on what we’ve started here.’

He huffed out a breath and stood up. ‘Okay. I’ll leave you my details. We can stay in touch. But for now, I think really it might be best if I go. I’m mixed up and need time to think. I need time to be sure Gina’s ghost isn’t going to stalk our relationship. When she’s banished, I hope you’ll still be here, because I will come back.’ His eyes pleaded with her. ‘If you’ll wait? If you’ll give me that time?’

Claire sat as if frozen. She couldn’t speak. Her throat had closed up. Whether from misery or fury, she wasn’t too sure.

After a long silence, he swung round and in seconds had gone from the room.

A few moments later, she heard him go upstairs, only to return a few minutes later, followed by the slam of the door. Galvanised to her feet, she raced to the door and ran round the side of the cottage. There, she watched unbelievingly as Daniel strode to his car, parked at the bottom of the access road, with a case in his hand. He must have gone up for the car earlier. This was all planned. She was too stunned, too shocked to call out as he drove slowly away.

Returning to the cottage, she let the door close, and leaned back against it, her heart cold inside her. This was caused by more than Gina and her infidelity. Raking through her mind for what he’d told her, she remembered something. A baby, he’d said. And stuff he couldn’t tell her. What on earth had he meant? What stuff? Was it something to do with the baby?

Moving to the table, she sat down, her head in her hands. She’d have to talk to him again, try to show him that whatever had happened before, this was different. Yet he’d taken his case…

Leaping to her feet she ran lightly upstairs and into the bedroom where only hours before he’d carried her to such dazzling orgasms.

She knew he’d arrived with very little, and it didn’t take long to discover there wasn’t a single possession of his left anywhere. He’d obviously been packing everything up as she’d slept. He must have been incredibly quiet while in the bedroom.

But on the bedside table was a slip of paper with an email address scrawled on it.

So he’d really meant it, that he was leaving sooner than intended. Claire didn’t know what to think. He wanted her to sit here and wait for him? For a year? By which time, he’d indicated he would have sorted himself out. Well, shit! That was some request. Fury vied with sympathy. Hatred warred with love. A whole fucking year?

If she had an ounce of backbone, she’d head off to Solhaven, pull Paul into his office, and ravish him.

But that was a silly thought. She’d do no such thing because, as she’d already told Daniel, she wasn’t like that. She wouldn’t betray him with someone else, no matter how tentative things had been left between them.

Was she sure he’d left, though? Maybe the case was for something else? Maybe he had to go back to London for a few days? Emily would know if he’d gone for good because he would have checked out and paid.

Half an hour after Daniel had left, Claire dropped into a chair next to Emily’s desk. ‘Has Daniel been in this morning?’

Emily tilted her head. ‘Yes. About half an hour ago, and he paid what was owing. Seemed in a hurry. What’s happened, Claire? He never mentioned leaving last night.’

Head in hands, Claire told her everything, leaving Emily looking thoughtful as she came to the end, explaining Daniel wanted time to get properly sorted out, but had said he would come back. Where he’d gone until it was time for him to go to America in September, neither Claire nor Emily knew. Only the cold fact he’d settled up, left the keys and said his farewell.

Emily shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Claire, it’s a very hard thing he’s left you to cope with. Daniel is fragile, though, and I think he feels unable to move forward until he’s sorted it. He’s promised to come back, that’s the only positive thing. If you’re prepared to wait for a year?’ Emily let her voice trail away, uncertainty lacing her words.

Claire finally let the tears she’d been holding back since he’d walked out of Gardener’s Cottage that morning flow, until eventually, worn out, broken-hearted, she quietly slipped out of the hotel and went into the hostel to pack her things.

No need to stay there any longer. Not now.

Over the next few days every touch, every kiss, every word came back to haunt her. But as time passed, it became clear Daniel had meant what he’d said. He needed to get himself sorted out because he wanted to come to her without the emotional problems which had haunted him for so long, and so far, he’d not replied to any of her emails.

But not all of him had gone.

It didn’t take Claire long to realise she had to eat properly again and take better care of herself. She knew there was something for her in the future after all, something cherished and precious, something she could cling to until Daniel, as she was sure he would, returned.

And eventually, she had to tell her family.

The opportunity arose on November the fifth. They’d all been down to Solhaven for the annual bonfire and fireworks and afterwards returning to Claire’s for a bonfire supper.

When they’d all eaten, Claire looked from one to the other of them, and they, beginning to realise something was the matter, gradually stopped talking.

‘I’m pregnant,’ Claire blurted out.

They all spoke at once.

‘When’s it due?’

‘Daniel Morgan?’

‘Oh, Claire, cariad. It doesn’t matter. We’ll stand with you.’

Claire answered Emily first. ‘About four months after yours, so April, sometime. I promise I’ll get onto the ads for another gardener, now. Definitely going to need someone to cover my maternity leave, but the joy of this job is I can have the baby with me most of the time. And none of you have to say it—I know we were incredibly stupid about birth control, but it was one of those heat of the moment things which just overtook us.’

‘We understand, sweetie. No worries. Not what we planned for, but it’ll all work out. Sasha’s coming down soon, and I’ll be working from home. You could leave the little one with me if it was cold, or raining, or you had to go somewhere to buy plants?’

‘I could, and that’s lovely of you. Let’s see how things go, okay?’

Claire turned to Jake, her sentences jerky. ‘Yes, of course Daniel. And neither of us meant this to happen, you must realise that. He told me he’d come back, once his time in America was up, and he left me his email address. I’ve sent a few messages—just easy, chatty ones—and he’s not replied. I don’t know what to do, because I honestly thought we’d keep in touch while he’s away. I don’t want to push things again.’

Her mum had been rubbing her back while she was talking to Jake and Emily, and now Claire gave her a grateful smile. ‘Another grandchild, mum. Bet you didn’t expect that!’

Annie looked pleased. ‘How wonderful—two cousins who can grow up together! Two candidates for surfing lessons, eh, Jake?’ Annie patted her son’s hand. ‘Jake? Jake! You’re miles away.’

‘What? Oh, yeah, sorry, mum. I was thinking about Daniel. A very sad guy, but you have to feel sorry for him.’

Claire looked tired. ‘Come on, Jake. I know he had problems with his ex, and they lost their baby, but to leave me as he did, leaving everything so up in the air, and what’s even worse, not keeping in touch? I’m not sure I feel very forgiving at the moment.’

‘Don’t be too hard on him.’

‘Look, I’m sad his mother was uncaring and his wife was into having lovers, but he said he loved me and he’d—oh, hell!’ Claire wiped a tear from her cheek as her sadness over Daniel’s desertion hit her again. She thought she’d got it under control. She caught hold of her mum’s hand, needing comfort.

Jake looked uncertain. ‘He didn’t tell you the real reason she fucked him up, then?’

‘Other than having affairs and the and turning up at his house, pregnant with yet another lover in tow? And they lost a baby. Wasn’t that enough?’

‘Well, he’s gone now, and I don’t know when we’ll see him again, so I see no harm in telling you. Might make you understand him better.’ Jake fell silent for a few minutes, staring at his clasped hands lying on the table, then huffed out his breath, sitting back in his chair, and looking at each of them in turn. ‘Daniel always wanted children. Really wanted them.’

Claire’s hand went to the slight bump under the loose-fitting sweater she wore and remembered his face when he’d held the little baby back in the summer, outside the café.

‘When they first married, his wife was all sweetness and light. He told me there’d been a couple of short-lived affairs, and when he’d found out, she threw herself at him, weeping and begging for a fresh start. As far as Daniel knew, she kept her word for a few months, during which she told him she was pregnant.’

Claire’s heart ached for him. He’d said he’d never had the chance to know his baby. But an unfaithful wife, a miscarriage—these were things people got over. She’d tried to show him support and friendship, had damped down her physical attraction, but it hadn’t been enough. Maybe he’d been right when he said he needed to get away and sort himself out. When he came back, she hoped everything in his life would be right for him, she really did. Then maybe they could try again. But she still felt an edge of anger to all her thoughts, especially because he’d not answered her emails. He’d claimed to be confused and mixed up, but by hell, so was she, now. She hung onto his promise he’d be back, even while wondering if he’d meant it. He’d talked of her maybe finding someone else while he was away, but the reverse also applied, and the possibility existed as a small nugget of fear lodged in her chest.

Jake started talking again, breaking into her reverie. ‘He went with her for a scan, when she was fourteen weeks pregnant. Although not one hundred percent certain, the hospital thought she was having a girl. They said they could confirm it at eighteen-weeks.’

Claire wondered if it had been a miscarriage or had happened after the baby had been born. Leaning forward, she kept her eyes intently on her brother.

‘He was over the moon. Then she met another man because, she told Daniel, it bored her to stay at home. He asked her the date of the eighteen-week scan and told her he’d still be coming with her. She laughed in his face. Apparently, she’d been away for a couple of days, and told him she’d used his money to stay in a private clinic and have a termination. The baby didn’t fit into her scheme of things, especially his baby.’

‘Wha-a-t? She did what?’ Claire had jumped to her feet, her fists clenched, eyes wide, her heart filled with cold horror.

‘Deliberately ended her pregnancy. Daniel found the strength to throw her out and sue for divorce, but then he had a bit of a break-down. Hardly surprising, really.’ Jake’s mouth turned down at the corners, his eyes sombre. ‘He told me he’d been with a counsellor for a few months, with depression and self-esteem issues, and just when he thought he’d come to terms with it all, she turned up with another lover, obviously pregnant, and told him she was going to keep this one because her boyfriend’s parents were stinking rich and wanted a grandchild. That’s when he came down here, after Sebastian Whitchurch told him about Solhaven. It was to escape her.’

Claire’s hands flew up, and she covered her mouth, tears in her eyes. ‘Oh, shit. And I stuck my nose in and pushed at him and tore the poor bloke in half. Oh, shit! How could she do that? She’s a monster! I wish… I wish I hadn’t tried telling him everything was okay and he could trust me. I wish I hadn’t thrown myself at him. It really wasn’t all right, was it?’ Her remorse was deep and tears escaped to run down her cheeks. Trying to imagine what he’d felt like when his ex-wife had told him, was too much. She simply couldn’t bear it.

Emily looked thoughtful, her hands protectively covering her now-considerable baby bump. ‘That’s harsh. But from what you’re saying, he’s been more affected by the loss of his baby than by Gina’s affairs?’

‘I think so, yes.’ Jake looked pensive. ‘I got the impression her behaviour had stopped having an effect by then, and he’d given up on all hope of a relationship, but what she did with his baby broke him.’

‘This is going to sound strange,’ Emily looked round at them all. ‘Might it be better, for Claire, if she doesn’t tell him about the baby? No, wait, hear me out.’ She held up her hand against the torrent of voices from all sides. ‘If he comes back in the summer, we know he’s got himself straight and has come back specifically for Claire’s sake. The baby will be icing on the cake. If we tell him about the baby, and he rushes back, it leaves Claire in a similar position to the one he’s in—can she trust his love for her, or did he just want his child? Claire has a strong support network. Emotionally it might be better if Daniel was on the scene, but I’d like to see him come back for just one reason, and that’s for you, sweetie.’ She held out her hand and clasped Claire’s, smiling at her tenderly. ‘And if he doesn’t come back, then yes, you’ll have to tell him. It’s only fair. I guess we’ll know by the end of August?’

Claire waved as they all finally left, feeling grateful and exhausted, with sombre thoughts drifting through her mind. If Daniel decided never to come back, it would break her heart, but he had a right to know about the baby. They’d have to come to some sort of arrangement, because there was no way she would keep his child from him, so yeah, go along with what Emily had suggested, and by the end of August, she’d know.

If he hadn’t shown, she’d have to tell him.