Losers: Part II

I’d never been so excited despite not having a clue what was going on.

“You’re going to vibrate right off your damn seat if you don’t calm down,” Lucas said, but I really couldn’t help it. He and Manson were installing my new engine today, and I could barely contain my excitement to finally have the freedom of my own car again.

“Don’t worry about it, Jess,” Vincent said, calling down to me from the couch in the loft. “Lucas just isn’t used to having such an audience while he works.”

Lucas grumbled, turning away again as he tried to concentrate. It likely would be far less distracting for him if I stopped constantly peering over his shoulder, so I went up to the loft to join Jason and Vincent. Taking a seat between them on the couch, I grinned as they both planted a kiss on my cheek at the same time.

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” Jason said. I had my review with my boss first thing in the morning, and I’d been trying to keep myself distracted to avoid stressing over it.

“I’m a nervous wreck,” I said, wiping my sweating palms on my jeans. “It’ll go well. I think. I mean, at least I hope it will.”

“You’ll be fine,” Vincent said. “You’re going to get that promotion, you’re going to start making the big bucks” — he rubbed his hands with a grin — “and then you’ll adopt us all as your sugar boys.”

Jason snorted. “Sugar boys? Really?”

“Only if I get to make him wear a catboy costume,” I said. “And if he doesn’t get stuck in it because it’s too small, it doesn’t count.”

“That can certainly be arranged,” Vincent said, and Jason threw up his hands.

“Y’all are not going to make me into a catboy. Come on —”

“Hey, keep it down!” Lucas yelled. “All your weird cat talk is making Cherry uncomfortable!”

“If we’re going to have a catboy and a pup in the same house, I’m going to need a primal play scene between you,” Manson added, and burst out laughing at the look Lucas gave him. “Don’t lie, you know you’d enjoy that.”

Jason suddenly looked as if he’d be into it.

Luckily, the boys did an excellent job of keeping me distracted from my nerves. My lofty view was the perfect spot to watch as Manson and Lucas tore my car apart. Piece by piece, they removed anything connected to the engine and set the parts aside. Then they wheeled over what looked like a miniature crane, connecting a hook and chain to the top of the engine so it could be lifted out.

They took a break for lunch, and Vincent whipped up a delicious bacon mac and cheese. After being so on edge all morning, the rich meal made me drowsy, and I fell asleep on the couch without meaning to. When I was woken up a few hours later, it was by Manson caressing my cheek until I opened my eyes.

“It’s ready for you, angel,” he said as I yawned and rubbed my eyes back to wakefulness. “The new engine is in. It’s time for a test drive.”

***

Until I was sitting behind the wheel, flying down the highway with the wind whipping through my hair, I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed simply driving around. Once I was on the highway, I pushed the vehicle’s speed, unable to stop a wide smile from taking over my face.

“Yes! Finally!” I cried, slapping my palm against the wheel in my excitement. “God, it’s good to be driving again.”

Manson snickered at that. I took the next exit, pulling off the highway so I could make a U-turn and drive back in the opposite direction, back toward the house.

“I’ll admit it, though,” I said. “I’m going to miss you guys giving me rides everywhere.”

“We’ll still give you rides any time,” he said. “You just call, we’ll come. Personally, I’m not giving up on our daily coffee runs.”

Despite my excitement, a strange feeling of melancholy had set in. “So, this is the end of my debt, huh? I’m all paid off?”

While I was trying to watch the road, Manson was watching me. I didn’t think he’d taken his eyes off me even once since we’d gotten in the car. “You’ll get a receipt and everything. Will I have to go back to challenging you to dirty games to get you to fuck me?”

I laughed, reaching over and shoving his arm. “You know I’ll never turn down a challenge.” We were almost back to the house now, as I pulled off the highway and drove down Route 15. “But you know we don’t need a game. Or a dare. Or a debt.”

“We’re really past all that, aren’t we?” he said as I pulled onto the dirt road back toward the house.

I stopped at the gate, grabbing his hand before he got out to open it. “Manson, I love you. I love all of you. We’re past the games. I don’t know yet how we’ll make it all work…For the future, I mean. I don’t know what to do when we all eventually move away from each other…”

A smile tugged at his mouth. “Move away from each other? Now, why the hell would we do that?”

I blinked at him rapidly. “Well…I mean…we’re moving, all of us. You guys have your plans, I have mine…”

It wasn’t that simple — God, at least I hoped it wasn’t. When Vincent mentioned going to New York that day in his old bedroom, I’d clung to that hope. I’d hidden it in my heart, not daring to bring it up. Who wanted to move to a whole new state for a girl anyway? Especially when I’d realistically only been tolerable to them for the last few weeks.

It was simply too good to be true. I tried to be an optimist, but some things were too far-fetched to believe.

Manson kissed my hand before he got out of the car, pushing open the gate and walking toward the garage as I drove into the yard.

But I brought the car to an abrupt halt when I noticed the boys, all standing inside the garage as they waited for me.

They were carrying bouquets. Their various choices in flowers were almost laughably different, but in the sweetest way I could have ever imagined. Lucas was holding two: a big bunch of red roses which he handed to Manson, while he kept the bouquet of blue cornflowers and pink wild roses. Jason held a bunch of daisies; Vincent held sunflowers.

It was impossible to move from my seat. Tears streamed down my cheeks, my breath shuddering as I tried to keep it together.

Vincent opened my door, offering me his hand. “Come here, baby. It’s okay. Don’t cry.” He wrapped his arms around me, but that made the tears worse. Damn it, I was making my face so puffy and red, but all I felt was joy. I wasn’t sure what was happening, only that seeing them all waiting for me had filled my heart to the brim.

When I lifted my head from his chest, they were all gathered around me. Jason smiled at me, cupping his hand around my neck as he kissed me.

“What is all this?” I sniffled as I stepped back from Vincent’s arms. “The flowers…”

“You paid off your invoice,” Lucas said, clearing his throat roughly. He was having a hard time looking at me, his eyes kept darting everywhere else as he shuffled his feet. “You don’t owe us anything, Jess. Not a damn thing. But we…we don’t want this to be it. Probably pretty damn obvious by this point, all things considered, but um…shit…” He rubbed his hand over the back of his head. “Someone a hell of a lot more eloquent than me better speak up.”

Vincent chuckled softly, and Manson stepped closer. “Jess, you know how we feel. We’ve all had the chance to talk to you as individuals, but not together.”

“We love you,” Jason said, causing my breath to catch again on a fresh sob.

“We’re honestly a little obsessed with you,” Vincent said.

“Little would be an understatement, Vince,” Jason added, giving me a wink that made me laugh through the tears.

“We want you to know exactly what this is,” Manson said. “No debt, no dare, no games. Just us, with you.”

“That’s all we want,” Lucas said. “And we know you’re moving, but we’re not worried about that. Hell, we figured we’d probably just move up that way too.”

It felt like a dream, probably because I had dreamed of this multiple times. It was all for real.

They loved me. They wanted to be with me, to move their entire lives to be close to me.

“You want to move to New York? All of you? Are you serious?” But it was clear just how serious they were. There was no doubt in their eyes, no hesitation. In disbelief, I shook my head. “How can you be so sure?”

“We’ve known you for years, Jess,” Vincent said. “We’ve seen it all. We’ve seen your worst, you’ve seen ours. We want the opportunity to show you the best of us.”

“We want you to be ours,” Manson said. “I lost you once, Jess. I can’t do it again. I can’t watch more years go by without you in my life, wondering where you are, if you’re happy, if you’re safe…I just can’t.”

Lucas cleared his throat again as he reached for me. He seemed unsure of where to touch; his fingers hovered over my lips before they brushed my cheek.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he said, his voice barely loud enough to hear. “You’ve gone and gotten me attached to you, Jess. You’re stuck with me. With all of us.”

“We want to take you on a date,” Vincent said. “A proper date, a real one. We want to take you to Tris.”

“The club,” I said. Giddy excitement, fraught with nerves, trembled through my chest. Tris wasn’t only the nightclub Vincent worked in, it was also where he and Manson had learned to practice BDSM safely. It had been a haven for the four as they found community.

“We want to show you more of our world,” Jason said.

“We want more adventures,” Vincent said.

“More challenges,” Lucas added with a smirk.

“We want you,” Manson said. “To be part of us. Will you?”

It wasn’t necessary to consider my answer, but I paused for a moment anyway: to take a breath, to let it sink in that this was my reality. That everything, truly, had changed.

“Yes, I will,” I said. “Absolutely.”