Landlord Wars: A Grumpy Billionaire Romantic Comedy (All’s Fair)

Sophia

The next afternoon, my sister entered Green Aesthetic hauling a tote full of books over her shoulder. She was wearing jeans and an oversized UCSF sweatshirt, and her wavy brown hair was unbound.

Elise’s hair defied nature and always looked like she’d just returned from a blowout. No one should have a good hair day every day. It was probably her most annoying quality, aside from the corn chip addiction that kept her slim and trim. I’d grow a second inner tube on a diet like that.

She looked toward the rear of the shop where I was working, and I waved her over.

Hugging her giant bag to her chest like a baby, she edged her way back, maneuvering around the plants and fancy containers on display.

She sank into the chair across from my desk and huffed out a heavy sigh, her tote slipping dramatically to the floor with a loud thump.

“Your day going that good?” I said, heavy on the irony.

She sat forward and rubbed her shoulder. “I spent the last two hours creating the mathematical formulas for regression analysis. My brain hurts. But forget about that. What’s this about you moving?” Elise’s critical look said she was totally on to me. “It took you months to find that place. Why would you give it up?”

I’d texted Elise last night that I was moving, but I’d done it right before bed so I wouldn’t have to justify my reasoning, at least not right away. But now my time was up.

She leaned closer, probably reading the uncertainty in my expression. “Can I take your apartment now that you don’t want it? Say the word and I’ll move in tonight.”

She was testing me. We both knew I’d confess the true reason I was moving, because I caved under heavy scrutiny.

I looked at the drawing in front of me and shaded in a tree, ignoring her for as long as possible. My designs were created with software, but I hand-drew mocks. “You can’t afford it,” I said, my lips pursed as I considered plant spacing and generally tried to not think about leaving Jack’s apartment and returning to my mom’s place.

Now that I’d had a night to sleep on it, I realized that no part of me wanted to move back home. Then I remembered how frequently I would be forced to see Landlord Devil and his first family friends if I stayed at Jack’s.

Nope. Couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle that kind of condemnation on a regular basis.

I smiled at Elise, trying to distract her. “How’s the rest of school going?”

She rolled her eyes. “Brutal. And I’m referring to your comment about my finances, because that was harsh. True, but harsh. And school is painful right now. Not sure I’ll be able to do this nursing gig. I’ll never get through the math. Why does a nurse need statistics, anyway?”

I looked up and rattled off: “Mortality rates, infection rates, disease rates by population density—”

“How do you even know these things? You’re an artist.”

“There was a lot of math in business school.” I twisted my mouth to the side. “Though I always seem to struggle with converting miles into kilometers, which is annoying as hell, since I have to do it every week.”

Elise snorted. “We’re not European. Why would you need to use kilometers?”

“Most countries use kilometers, Elise, and I work with international clients.”

“When do you deal with foreigners?”

I shook my head in exasperation. “Only on a weekly basis. Do you ever pay attention when I tell you about my job?”

My criticism rolled right off her. “I zone out from time to time. You can blame it on the five hours of sleep I get during exams, which seems to be every other week.”

I pulled out my bag and started packing up my work materials. I was going to be late if I didn’t get a move on. “Well, the large events I plan are with people from all over the world, and it trips me up when they talk about kilometers and getting around the city.” I held up my drawing before tucking it in a folder. “What do you think?”

Elise leaned in because she was farsighted and wasn’t wearing her glasses. “What kind of shop is that?”

“A high-end beauty salon. They’re going for a nature theme.” My sister usually praised everything I worked on, but she was taking forever to give me her opinion on this one. Which had me wondering if it was crap.

I was about to reassess when she finally nodded. “If that’s a design for a salon, it’s going to be the nicest one in town.”

“Are you sure?” I scanned my work one last time. I couldn’t add additional plants, but I could reposition them and put in more height in certain areas.

“I’m certain. They giving you gift certificates for all your hard work? Because I could use a facial.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’ll be nice when you’re no longer a starving student. No, my clients aren’t giving me gift certificates. They’re doing this thing called payment for services rendered. Also known as capitalism.”

Her rose-hued lips pulled into a straight line as though she disapproved. “What about tips for good work?”

“No tips. Quality is expected, or people hire someone else.”

She threw up her hands. “And this is why I’m not studying business.” She pulled off the hair band that was perpetually on her wrist and swept her hair into a low ponytail.

Elise’s hair was a couple shades darker than mine, though my skin tone more closely resembled our father’s Mediterranean heritage. So, essentially, my hair coloring was light brown next to tan skin—not much contrast there. I’d take Elise’s blowout goddess hair in a heartbeat, but my pale-green eyes weren’t so bad.

I glanced at my phone and tucked away the design. “I’ve got to go.” There was just enough time for me to swing by my client’s shop before it closed for the day. “I want to get this approved before I start on the digital renderings.” I paused and watched Elise hoist her heavy tote onto her shoulder. “Regarding the apartment, my landlord—owner, whatever—is a dealbreaker. It won’t work.” Best to leave Elise with the short explanation and make a fast getaway.

Her expression was pure disbelief. “Are you kidding me? That is the reason you’re moving? Because you think the hot landlord sucks?”

I stepped into a pair of heels I’d tucked under my desk and rooted around for some cash in my purse. “Don’t give me a hard time. Landlords can make a place a living hell.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Is he making it a living hell? Or are his hellish good looks distracting you?”

I squinted in disbelief. “What is wrong with you? Not everyone obsesses over looks.” I had exactly one minute to catch a ride to my client’s store if I wanted to make it there by closing. So I opted for blunt, knowing I’d pay for it later. “Landlord Devil doesn’t trust me, and he’s made that very clear. Not to mention he’s rude and arrogant, and he gets on my nerves.”

Elise tipped her head back and groaned, and her tote slid down her arm like an anchor. “You are so exhausting sometimes, you know that? Who cares what he thinks? I can understand why it wouldn’t make sense for me to come over as often as we’d planned, but to move out? Have you lost your mind, Sophia?”

Possibly. All I knew was that the animosity I felt around Max was too much to bear. “He lives above me. I can feel his negative energy seeping through the drywall and down into my bedroom.” I shivered. “And he has uptight friends and family—except for my roommate, who is awesome. But the rest of them stress me out too.” I tried to shove cash into her hands, but she swatted me away. I let out a sigh and looked her in the eye. “The pressure to please uptight people will kill me. Now, take this cash so you can get yourself a proper book bag.”

A touch of anger flared in her eyes. “I don’t need a new book bag. And have you ever considered not trying to please everyone?”

I shook my head dramatically. “Does not compute.” I was a sad case, but my sister knew this, and she still loved me. “I’m going to start looking for an apartment tonight.”

Elise slammed her hand on my desk, and I jumped.

I glanced around and said, “What the hell, Elise! We’re at my work.”

“Forget the landlord. Why do you do this, Sophia? Do you remember when Mom started collecting newspapers? You threw up for a month due to stress.”

“That was a special situation,” I said. “Mom had blocked the windows. I had vitamin D deficiency.” I tried to shove the cash into my sister’s bag, but she darted athletically to the side.

“You know that’s not why you were ill,” she pointed out. “You took it upon yourself to prevent wayward newspapers from reaching Mom’s hands so she couldn’t add to the piles. Good thing people stopped getting delivery around that time.” Her expression softened, and she touched my arm. “The point is, I’ve had to deal with Mom’s neuroses too, and you don’t see me overcompensating.”

“Because you have me to take care of everything.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.

I never wanted my sister to feel bad that I’d taken on an adult role at a young age when it came to finances and other responsibilities around the house. It wasn’t Elise’s fault. And if our mother could have been different, she would have.

Elise blinked, then looked away. “I depended on you when I couldn’t depend on Mom because I was young.” She looked me squarely in the eye. “But I’m a grown woman now.”

She was right. I knew this, and yet it was hard to let go without worrying everything would fall apart. “You’re a young grown woman.”

“Twenty-three, to be exact. Four years younger than you, Sophia, and you’ve been caring for me the last twelve years, so what does that say about you? You are young, and you should be taking it easy and not carrying all the responsibility. I don’t have much money, but there’s something called student loans. Not sure if you’ve heard of them?”

I straightened my skirt and sighed, agitated at the direction this conversation was going. “So you can live with debt for the rest of your life? No.”

“You graduated with debt. And pay Mom’s mortgage plus what you owe for school. You can’t afford my expenses on top of your own, which is why you’re sharing an apartment with a guy you just met, and why I’ve taken out student loans.”

There went the knot tightening in my stomach. “I never wanted you to take out those loans to begin with. At the very least, don’t take out any more. I’m moving home, and you won’t need loans because I can use the rent money I’ll be saving for your tuition.”

Elise shook her head slowly and stared. “You’re super annoying. You missed the entire point.”

I did see her point; I really did. But it went against everything inside me to not protect my sister.

I glanced at my phone. “Let’s talk later. I really do have to go.”

Elise roped the thirty-pound tote onto her shoulder. “I don’t need your money, so don’t move back home for me.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Okay?”

I glared at the bag. “What about a backpack?”

“Oh my God!” she said as she hurried out of the shop. “You’re doing it again. Stop mothering me!”

I raced out behind Elise and punched in a request for a ride from the app. But it wasn’t until later that I thought more about our conversation.

Elise was a grown woman, but I was used to taking care of her and didn’t know how to stop.

Maybe I should learn.

Either way, moving home served two purposes: I could pay Elise’s tuition, so she’d stop threatening to take on a second job or more loans, and it would relieve me of the stress of being around Landlord Devil.

I hated the idea of moving home. But living beneath the devil’s roof was worse. My mom’s house was a lot to handle, but at least she meant well, and she loved me.

A person could put up with a lot when there was love involved.

Finding Jack’s place had been a stroke of luck, but like most things that came easily, it had been too good to be true.