Kiss and Don’t Tell

Man, I’m a fucking idiot.

Bet you haven’t heard that from a man before . . .

Yeah, every man on the face of this earth has uttered those sacred words at least a dozen times.

I’ve been a fucking idiot so many times, I’ve lost count.

But this . . .

This is by far the biggest screwup I’ve ever made.

Oh, you’re intrigued? You want to know what qualifies this particular situation as my biggest screwup?

Easy.

One word . . . love.

Okay, okay, I know I’m not the only guy who’s fucked up when it comes to love. Frankly, I believe it’s human nature to fuck up with matters of the heart. But it’s my first time. That’s what makes this so special.

Yup, first-timer.

A virgin . . . well, not a sexual virgin, a love virgin. I’ve had plenty of sex. Not that we need to get into that, but I’m not a virgin.

See, this is the problem. This right here. The rambling, the not using my brain. I would like to blame my almost season-ending injury, but that would be a scapegoat. I’m just a dumbass.

Getting sick of me beating around the bush? If you were in my bed you wouldn’t.

I know, I’m annoyed with me too.

Okay, so I fucked up. How? Well, I’ll keep it short and simple . . .

Rainstorm.

Random girl shows up at cabin.

Random girl stays with us . . . don’t worry, we will get into that.

Random girl turns out to be my half-brother’s ex-girlfriend.

She doesn’t know.

But I know.

Do you think I tell her?

Nah, why would I do that? That’s the intelligent thing to do and as we established, I am a dumbass.

Does she find out? Yup.

Does she get mad? Ohhh yeah.

Does she leave me . . . sad, alone, and love deprived?

One hundred percent.

Do I deserve it?

More than you know.

But more importantly, do you think I should have a chance at winning her heart back?

NO?

What?

Before you decide, just listen to the story. I’m pretty sure you will have a change of heart.