Kanin

After my training session with Jax, I found myself searching the house for Cade. There was no sign of him yet. I was about to knock on each door until I found him, when I heard someone behind me.

“He’s still sleeping.” Trent said to me.

I spun around to see him leaning against the wall down the hall. I made my way slowly towards him, cautious. “Is he okay?”

Trent nodded, arms folded over his chest, “just exhausted.”

“Can I see him?” I asked.

Trent nodded, pushing up from the wall. He opened the door next to him quietly. I looked over at him for a moment before stepping inside. The door was closed behind me.

My eyes crossed the room to take in the sleeping form on the bed. He was no longer wearing his shredded clothes. His chest was bare. Sheets were pulled up to his waist. He was pale compared to the dark bedding around him. Sweat lined his brow. He was breathing deeply and normally, which was good compared to earlier.

I stepped silently towards him, careful of my footsteps. I didn’t know if I could wake him up, but I didn’t want to. He looked so peaceful.

I carried the wooden chair from the desk to sit beside his bed. I sat down, sighing. I wanted to be here when he woke up.

I reached out, grabbing his hand and holding it softly. His breathing faltered for a moment, I thought he would wake up. Then he just shifted deeper into the mattress, closer to me, and sunk deeper asleep.

“It’s going to be okay, Cade.” I whispered. I watched him as he slept. It was weird to see him without his usual playful smile.

I sat there a minute, my eyes roaming around the room. It barely looked inhabited. I did notice a sketch pad and a pencil on the desk. A smile curled on my face. I stood up and reached for it. I put my bare feet on the bed and propped the pad on my knees. I glanced at his sleeping face once more before I set to work.

An hour passed and Cade still hadn’t stirred. I tried not to worry much. I focused on my portrait. My hand stopped moving across the paper. I peered down at my drawing and then to the real life face I’d sketched it after. My father always told me that I got my talent from my mother. I started to shade in some areas again, putting the final touches to the master piece.

“Draw me like one of your French boys.” A soft voice joked, breaking my concentration. I sat the pad down on the ground and leaned forward to look at Cade. His smile had returned to his face and so had his color. His eyes were half open, he still looked exhausted.

“Cade, hey.” I kept my voice soft. “How are you feeling?”

He shifted, trying to pull himself up, but failed. “Oh, great.”

“Just rest.” I said to him.

“Will you stay?” He asked, his eyes already falling closed once again.

I nodded, but he didn’t see. He grabbed for my hand, gripping me tight. He turned on his side to face me, his eyes opening to a slit.

“I’m sorry, Kanin.” He said, his words slurring slightly.

“Just sleep, Cade. I’ll be here when you wake up.” I promised. Holding his hand as he drifted to sleep again.

It was a few hours before Cade was awake again. He opened his eyes to look me over. He seemed confused for a moment, his grip tightened on my hand. When he focused more, his usual smile cracked across his face. He didn’t look near as exhausted as before.

“Does it hurt?” I questioned, referring to his shift, but I didn’t have to say that. He knew.

“A lot.” He answered, searching my face. “But it’s like I’m not really there. My mind drifts into the wolf’s and the pain is gone quickly.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through that.” I say, almost wincing from the memory of his bones breaking into place. I would never get the sound of it out of my memory. It would haunt me for the rest of my life.

“I’m not.” He says surprisingly.

“You like that?” I’m shocked.

“I like being the wolf, Kanin. Despite the anger of it, I like it. I feel free.” He searches my face for a response. “I like being a part of a pack. I belong somewhere.”

“Was there a before the pack?” I wondered.

“Are you asking if I was human before?”

I nodded.

“I was.”

“So how did you become a werewolf then?” I asked.

“I had the gene.”

“But, I thought you just said you were human once?”

“I was born with the gene, but I was unaware of it. The gene doesn’t awaken inside of you until puberty or in some cases when some alpha triggers it.”

“So, your parents were werewolves but never told you?”

“I was adopted. I don’t know what happened to my real parents, but yes they were werewolves as well.”

“Oh wow, Cade, I’m sorry.” I gulped. “How old were you when you found out?”

“I was young, seven or eight.”

“So, an alpha triggered your change?” I questioned.

He nodded, “actually, it was Jax’s father. He sniffed me out.”

“What happened to your adopted parents?”

“Nothing.” Cade shook his head. “When the alpha showed up, it instantly triggered my first shift. I knew I couldn’t stay with my parents anymore. Jax’s father convinced me I had to leave. He let me join his pack. I’ve been here ever since.”

“You haven’t seen your parents since?” That seemed harsh. I wondered how long his parents had looked for him, how empty they felt because they’d lost their adopted son. I wondered how it changed them to never know what happened to him.

“Nope.”

“They think you’re missing?” I couldn’t believe it.

“They think I’m dead.”

"Dead?” I asked quietly.

“The pack has connections in the police force. They faked my death to make it easier on them.” He explained, finally pulling himself into a sitting position. His back resting against the headboard.

“You let your parents think you died!” I sat back away from him.

“I had to, Kanin!” He shook his head. “I couldn’t stay! I loved them. What would’ve happened if they made me so angry that my wolf attacked them? I couldn’t live with myself. At least I gave them closure. My mom won’t have to wonder where I’m at, feel empty because they never found me. It was the right thing to do.”

Right?

Was there even a right and wrong when it came to things like this? How would you even choose?

I could clearly see the pain etched into his face. “Do you know where they’re at?”

“I have someone keep tabs on them, actually. Make sure they’re okay.” He smiled lightly. “They moved to Paris not long after my funeral. They’re happy, Kanin.”

“They’ll always miss you.” That I knew.

He nodded, “and I’ll always miss them.”

“Maybe you could find them again. Explain to them what happened?” I suggested.

“Could I?” He questioned. “They’re finally happy. I don’t think I can disturb that. It would open old wounds. I don’t think that’s the right thing to do.”

“Maybe not.” I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes.

I was surprised when I heard Cade’s tired laugh, “you’re such a sap.”

“If you weren’t injured I’d punch you.” I warned, smiling back at him.

“You can punch me anyway.” He offered.

“For once, I don’t want to.”