Just Another Love Story

19th June 2014

She reached five minutes late; it was 18:05.

I was nervous waiting for her, each second seemed like a lifetime, even the sunset seemed less beautiful but I wasn’t anxious with anticipation, or euphoric with hope, this just wasn’t the first meet I expected it to be. I imagined it to be in some place sophisticated; at least not in a colony developed garden, poorly managed due to lack of funds, ornate with bushes and weeds, a few broken benches, with illegible proverbs scribbled on them. During night, it could be used as a horror movie location, cut off from the main colony; it was surrounded by empty plots and under construction buildings. It was left so wayward.

But it provided what we desired most; seclusion. No peeping eyes, no eavesdropping, neither would be any grumpy uncle whose eyeballs would drop out of socket seeing a girl and boy together nor any stroller wishing for her to be his, there would be only two of us, she and me.

The mental image was somewhat exciting, but I knew I had a task on hand. Hundreds of thoughts popped up.

I knew that the day provided for the perfect platform to blurt out my feelings for her. Maybe it is time to hammer her with the truth, maybe it is the only time she will see the love I behold for her.

But one thing dominated and discarded all the other thoughts, ’her happiness matters most’. And despite how badly I wanted it to be amiss, I could not change the truth that she was happy with him, and if a few bad decisions on Tushar’s part were to be ignored, he took great care of her. Maybe that’s the way it was meant to be.

I was hoping for her to come soon, I feared that if I don’t get home before dark, maa would get even more worried. She was already against me leaving the house in such a condition.

She walked past the gate, when I finally transferred my gaze from the mobile screen and looked at her. I was re-reading our chat from the previous day, just to ensure I wasn’t missing out on anything. I wanted to sound convincing.

The trial was about to begin, my mind prepared to sentence my heart to death.

She wore full sleeved yellow kameez and orange-yellowish salwar; on purpose. She had to hide the cut marks on her hand from her family. I glanced at her face; it appeared dull, pale, lifeless. All the elegance, charm along with her natural smile was wiped off. Her sore eyes indicated that she hadn’t slept at all last night, maybe cried a lot too. My heart wrenched, I could not bear to look at her like that. I had absolute clarity in my head of what was needed to be done.

She waved a cheerless ‘hey’ when she came towards me. As she stood a few feet away from me, my heart started pounding but I was in total control of my emotions. I signaled her to a bench, when she motioned her hand in desire to walk on the tiled pavement bordering the garden.

We started walking; both of us too shy to start the conversation. She kept staring forward, pulling out the petals from the flower she plucked on the way (even amidst all the weeds; were a few flowering plant, even though let unattended…growing naturally on their own) whereas I tried to synchronize my steps with hers, alternatively looking down and at her. We completed whole one round without speaking a word, it was getting awkward, and so I decided to intervene.

“Nice garden”. She chuckled, a perfect ice-breaker.

“Yes, it is really…peaceful, No one to disturb, its calm”. She said. Yeah, I knew, I had done ‘pros and cons’ in my head earlier. That was it. I was again bamboozled what to speak next. Luckily, she continued after a minute of silence.

“Umm, this is where we always used to meet” she said, her voice heavy.

No! God, no. I did not want her to cry, infact I feared it, not only I would be extremely awkward without a clue of what to do, I could not bear the sight of it. How was I supposed to see that girl cry whose smile mattered most to me in the world?

“And this is where you’ll continue to meet him” I replied, trying to sound convincing.

“I-I don’t think so”

“But, Why not?” I shrugged my shoulder.

“It just feels different, what we had, whatever you might call it, it’s gone” she said, battling her tears.

“It’s all the same; it’s just in your head” I tried consoling her.

“Is it, really? You think so?”

“I know so”

“Okay, then just clarify one thing…” oh! No, no, no…it meant only one thing; I was to be graced with a speech. “If it’s all in my head, why the hell are we even having this conversation? Why is it that I no more trust him? Why is it that I can’t even share my fears, the stuff which is bothering me with him? ....” I thought about intervening, but I decided against it.

Sometimes you need to let people wallow, even if seems stupid, let them do it. Once a person has poured his heart out, then only solace can be felt. Also fascinating is the fact that our problems seems too bigger in our mind, having got mixed up with natural inferiority and negativity, it all gets tangled up, mashed up…and just as we try to give them words, we realize even though momentarily, that infact they are not as big as they seem. I could see her face getting normal, and herself running out of arguments.

…..“Why the hell I constantly fear that our relationship is on the verge of an end?” She frowned.

“Maybe, you need to ask yourself these questions first” I tried to sound smart.

“What the hell do you mean?” I heard two thundering voices. One was hers, the other of the clouds shadowing us, I wondered if I should tell her to shift our conversation someplace else, someplace with a shed, but I resisted.

“Look, all this stuff, you’re making it up. If you were to meet him, at this moment, you would realize that to him, everything is still the same. It’s just a stupid fight, nothing has changed”

“Everything has changed”

“You’ll make things work out, you always do”

“I am tired of making things work out, why does it always have to be like this? Why should I have to make things work, why can’t they flow naturally?” lighting strikes.

She was right. Things should not be made to work, things should happen themselves. The fact that she was contemplating her year long relationship with just months old friend was in itself an indicator that things have changed. Making things work is just a desperate attempt to save a dying relationship. The question to be pondered was “is it worth it?” I thought it was.

“Just stop thinking so much, give him, this relation a second chance, everyone deserves it” she kept quiet after that for a few minutes.

’Everyone deserves a second chance’ she mumbled to herself. There was just too much going on in her head.

“Will it be a smart thing to do?” she asked. As if, taking suggestions about relationship from a guy who himself never has been in one was a smart thing.

“Yes, it will be” I nodded.

“What if things don’t come back to being normal?”

“Everything is already normal” she stopped. I halt my steps, and turned to face towards her. She was fuming.

“Stop saying that, okay…” she shouted, it started to drizzle”… If the fuck is everything normal, then what the hell is this?” she lifted her kameez to her elbow, displaying the cut on her forearm. My eyes blurred for a second, it was a large one. The sharpened blade piercing her smooth, soft skin, blood drooping out from veins, lining it down to the wrist, the whole picture made me nauseous. She started sobbing. I looked deep in her eye, more than pain was the guilt and humiliation of taking such a stupid step, of betraying the trust and love of her parents…ever so ‘sensible’ girl, made a blunder. She was scarred for life.

I held her left hand, running my fingers gently over the cut. She did not deserve such lows, at that moment I thought of telling her that she should leave him. A girl like her should be immune from any pain.

“You should not have done this” my voice choked. Fortunately, it started pouring heavily.

“Dhruv, will I ever be happy in my life?”

“You will be, you deserve every happiness in the world” I lifted my hand to brush off hair from her face, on her cheek I could feel the tear running down her eyes. I wiped them off, and pinched her cheek. She smiled a bit; in those rain drops, her face sparkled.

She held both my hands by forearm; through the fabric of my shirt I could feel the warmth of her hand. Her grip tightened as she felt my hands. Instinctively, she steeped closer and felt my forehead with the back of her hand.

“What is it, Dhruv? You’re burning up!”

“Nothing” I said and stepped backwards.

“I want an answer” she squealed.

I resented. Despite my defiance she gripped my forearms yet again.

She lifted her gaze, toward me, and started sobbing; Tears flowing even more furiously. She spoke nothing.

But it just wasn’t awkward at this time, both of us looking deep into each other’s eyes. It is said that when two people in love look deep in each other’s eyes, their hearts sync and start beating together. Maybe that’s what happened at that moment. We remained silent yet our eyes talked. My eyes told away the amount of love I held for her, which she already knew about.

Her innocent eyes asking just one question “Why?” I wished I had an answer. I had no reasonable explanation as to why would I be there despite being ill? Why would I put myself through pain? Why would I cling onto her even after knowing there’s no future for us? Not everything can be explained; at least what I felt for her couldn’t.

I thought of explaining her that it was nothing serious but it would have been a futile attempt. Also, secretly I liked the sensation between us. Even though there was a little distance between us, I touched her heart.

The distance reduced, as she let go of my hand, and came closer. She hugged me. Our drenched body wrapped around each other. The feel of her body on mine sent shivers down my spine. The passion grew as I tugged her even tighter, my heart in my throat. It was a feeling never experienced before, hell it was even never imagined before. I could feel her heartbeat; I could smell her hair, her sweat, her body. She clawed my back, as I run my hand down hers, examining the soft texture of her skin, through her kameez, now completely translucent. She was breathing heavily; I could feel it on my shoulders. She moaned as I puffed one of the drops running down her neck. I felt ebullient.

’DHRUV’, she could barely speak. I understood her state of mind, the ripples in her heart. At that moment I felt complete, I had my world in my arms. Even if seemingly inappropriate I could not let go of the thrill, the excitement, of her. Neither could she, as now her lips rested on my cheeks, I could feel the softness, the wetness on my skin. I could hear the spattering of rain on the ground, if at all it stimulated me further. I maneuvered my lips past the strands of wet hair glued on her face, swallowing the drops- which were resting above her lips for a moment before sliding down her lips and then to neck. She shivered; the coldness of the breeze blew by the hotness we felt, with our wet bodies sticking to each other. I leaned even further, my head tilted slightly, with my eyes begging for permission which her eyes gave away, she closed them, also titling her head slightly. Our lips centimeter away from each other’s…

BANG!! We heard metallic clang on the cemented road outside, we came back to our senses, and waking up from the moment, we rushed outside the garden. A lady had fallen down from her scooter virtue of the rainy slippery road. We ran to help her. Muskan helped her get back up on feet, picking up her belongings while I picked her scooter up and put it on main stand.

“You okay, madam?” Muskan asked, out of genuine concern. I hope not, I was infuriated.

“Yes, I am, thank you” She indeed was, apart from few bruises here and there, she was alright. The ‘trouble’ we went through just wasn’t worth it. Can’t she be fractured so that it justifies leaving our moment?

The lady caught me grumping, she added “I was just driving too fast; I have an appointment to catch, thanks for saving my day’. Yeah! Thanks for ruining mine.

“It’s all right, madam” Muskan said, out of courtesy. For a heartbroken girl, who was just about to cheat on his boyfriend, she was surprisingly composed. Amidst all these, the rain stopped. Damn!!

The lady got back on her scooter, and waved as she drove past us. Muskan also waved cheerfully. Finally when she was out of sight, we were again facing each other. Her face sparkled extra bright, with the dappled light of the setting sun shining on her wet face, she was again wearing a smile, a shy one. The charm was back, she was bewildered but delighted also. It was ecstatic. Seeing her so happy, something in me told she should be with me, it was my heart.

Immediately my mind instructed it to shut up. We had no past, nor any foreseeable future; all I had was that moment. And at that very ’moment’ even with adrenaline rushing into every pore of my cell, I knew it very well that I would happily die a hundred deaths just to have that moment again with her.

Her cell beeped, it was her mother reminding her that it was getting dark. Muskan assured her that she would be home in five minutes tops. She had to leave. I had to let go of the moment I wanted to last forever. We trudged our way back to the garden to pick up our vehicles. She held my hand whole way. I took strands of hair glued to her and tugged them behind her right ear. I could still feel the wetness on her eyelashes. She smiled. We were again silent, and this time our hearts talked.

A connection was established, which I didn’t want to let go off. Nothing was running in my mind, I had no idea where it would take us but the things sure were about to change. All I wished was to live in that moment, forever.

As I bade her unwilling goodbye, my heart wrenched as I saw her going away from me. I feared her going far away, and sadly that came true.

To hurt herself like this, how could she dare?

Doesn’t she realize; how much I care…

She may have cut her hand; but bleeding is my heart

She may have hurt herself; but aching is my every part

I wish to god for her pain to be mine

I want to see her happy, see her fine

Doesn’t she realize when she hurts herself it hurts me too,

I can’t even explain my feelings,

But to make her happy, there’s nothing which I can’t do…

I can’t even see her sad, let alone in pain…

All my efforts to make her smile, goes into vain...

What’s worth my living, if I can’t even make her smile?

If I can’t make her happy even for a while…

And that’s why, from my selfishness, I rise above...

And push her to whom she proclaims “her true love”

I have left it on her to choose

Whether to accept him or refuse

But I know, eventually she will be with him

And for some days my life would be so dim

Ofcourse I would feel low

Miss the way, her messages flow...

The days wouldn’t pass, time would seem so slow

Even days would be dark, won’t be any glow…

She would get busy, would be hard to find…

But atleast she will smile…and I unknowingly, would be the reason behind.

And she went away…

The magic of that day remained intact in my thoughts; I could not help but blush. I was mesmerized. For a guy, who could dream for nights after a simple courteous birthday wish, you can easily imagine how big a deal that evening was. Her sobs were still resonant in my ear, my tongue could still taste the drops on her skin, and my nose could still smell the cologne she was wearing that day.

It should have been the beginning of a new story, but at that time it just wasn’t meant to be.

After that day, she took an intentional break. She had to clearly figure out what to be done in future, whereas I was too hypnotized in that moment to think anything at all. For the first time ever, my heart dominated the way I felt. It wasn’t rational, preposterous maybe but I didn’t care. For the first time I felt special, wanted, loved…and even if my mind was screaming, I simply could not let go.

I just shut down all possible permutations, and left it for my fate to decide.

The only problem with that was having a screwed up destiny.

After two long weeks, one night, I received her text. I was kind of hoping for her to call. I never left sight of my cell to ensure that I reply her back on time; I couldn’t have called her because it would seem too desperate, but indeed I was. I was both needy and snub. I intentionally turned chat off so that my profile does not show online all day long. She was the one who actually remained offline.

She started with formal greeting feigning to be normal. She asked me how I was. On cloud 9, I wished to answer.

Within few minutes, I fell down, striking hard on the ground, my heart brutally quashed. She narrated me the happenings of her life in previous two weeks, things really changed.

That night Tushar called and they decided to meet the next evening. Same place, same time. I tried recalling in my mind; thankfully it didn’t rain that evening. Unexpectedly, he came clean. He genuinely accepted all his mistakes, came out with the truth and cleared the air. At first, she was heartbroken. ’I felt betrayed, I couldn’t feel my heartbeat, as if someone has sucked out life from me’ she told me the crests and troughs in her heart that evening.

Eventually, she asked for a week’s time to figure out. Finally, she forgave him with a few ground rules established, ofcourse. He was to immediately break of all contact with that other girl, Shefali. It took him a couple of expensive dates and lots of chocolates (more than her yearly calories intake) to finally convince her to be with him. I also found out that in between she was also infuriated at me as she thought I knew about it all along, it is when she confronted Tushar she got to know that I had no hand in the matter, which was the truth, okay partial truth maybe.

“You think I did the right thing?” she asked. No! Ofcourse not….why the hell would you do that?

“Yes, obviously but what took you so long?” I asked.

“Long? For what?”

“To make up your mind, I mean you love him, right?” No, I don’t…he is wrong for me, I love you.

“It was a big decision, I had lots of thoughts going on in my mind”- like that evening I spend with you, how I shouldn’t have left, how I should have kissed you before leaving.

“Like what all?” I asked. I wanted her to confess that the evening was special for her too.

“There were many things, leave it…”

“Tell me, I insist” I was getting real desperate.

“Nope, leave it…please”; that was it, I couldn’t have probed more. When a girl closes down a matter several times, be assured that no amount of persuasion could coax her. It was then I figured out that not talking about that evening was in the best interest for both of us. We were “friends”, pretending that evening never happened might just help steer everything back to the old ways. She was with him, and she was happy, and that’s all that mattered. But no matter how hard we try, once something has happened, we cannot reverse the process, ever.

“So where were you for all these days?”

“I was busy, got stuck in lot of other matters too, had to clear the mess with him” she answered. I knew she was avoiding me. I just hoped that I was being left out as someone she didn’t want to hurt and not as a middleman or villain trying to ruin her relation.

“Okay!” I could say no more.

“Have I done the smart thing?” she asked again. Hell no! It is most stupid thing you could do. How can someone be so damn stupid?

“YES, YES, YES” I was frustrated, I wanted this topic closed.

“I don’t know, I am still baffled”

“Then, what do you want?” my questions now painfully direct.

“What do you want?” she responded with even more painful question.

I cannot lie to her anymore. She needs to know what I really want.

“I just want you to be happy”. No lies.

Even while I was texting lips curled up in a smile automatically. More than anything, I really wanted for her to be happy.

“I am happy, are you?” she just wasn’t letting go. She wanted me to confess of my love for her. She always knew about it; even when I never told her specifically in words. Words are over-rated.

“Of course, I am, but if you would be more active on FB, that would make me happier” I responded, trying to divert the topic.

“Do you like so much talking with me?” she steered it back to old one.

’Like’, that is a weak word, I LOVE our chats, I love your eyes, hair, smile….everything about you, damn it!

“Nothing like that, I just have no one else to talk with”

“You’re impossible” I felt glad that finally I had lightened up the mood.

“So what’s new?”

“I almost forgot, Thanks”

“For what?” I asked, confused.

“For your words, they were helpful”

“Again, I did not get you”

“The stuff you said that evening, I was about to give up on him, but then….”

“Then…?” I asked, almost on my feet.

“I gave him a second chance” Almost instantly I laughed at my own stupidity. Finally for once in my life I persuaded a girl, and for what? To crush my dreams

“That’s nice”.

“Okay, listen GTG, maa is calling”

“Okay, should I go or wait?” even though the question meant for chatting purpose, it had deep resemblance with my situation in real life too.

“Don’t wait, I will not come now”, she replied. There, I got my answer.

“WHAT, WHY?” desperation gripped me.

“I don’t have net pack, router isn’t working properly” she reasoned.

“I will get the recharge done, don’t worry”

“Thanks, but let it be, no need; I actually prefer being offline for some time”

“Okay, as you wish” I cajoled her no more. More than anything, she was avoiding me. For things to get back to being normal, for their relation to get back on track, she needed to scavenge the third wheel. By then, I was too emotionally drained to feel anything. I just felt numb.

Anyways, how could I have stopped her? She wasn’t mine. I feigned to be normal. I greeted her goodbye and left.

And she went away.

I could not fool myself, as much as I tried to be happy for her, I could not cheat my feelings for her. I was wrecked. It was heartbreaking to see her in someone else’s arms.

I guess bad times occur in a pattern, taking turns, jumping from one person to another, as it jumped from her to me. I felt partly depressed. So I went to my rehabilitation centre; Prateek’s house. It was my trauma centre.

He opened the door, startled at my unexpected visit. I made my way into his bedroom, instructing him to bring a bottle of water and something to eat. I lay down on his bed, searched for the remote, and flipped the channel from Discovery to MTV. I had no interest in discovering the living mechanism of sea creatures, especially when mine was messed up. He came in with only a handful of snacks, threw the bottle at me and relaxed on the chair.

“I need more, I am really hungry” both me and my stomach grumbled.

“Let’s go out then, I am in no mood to cook” by which he meant he felt too lazy to prepare ‘maggi’. Yes that’s what we used to ‘cook’.

“It’s ok, kurkure will be enough” he shrugged his shoulder and went back to texting on his phone. And I kept myself entertained from songs. I wasn’t a guest at his house; I was more like an imposed family member with unrestricted access to his laptop, his TV, mobile but most importantly to his refrigerator. That is one of the perks of having a friend with working parents. His house was our usual hangout place. And by usual, I mean daily.

Me, him and Sahaj would usually gather around noon at his house, and then play cards discussing topics ranging from bollywood linkups to cricket scores. We weren’t exactly proud of our single life, and quite pissed at lacuna of girls too, we would laugh on ourselves at our constant failures to even build up a stable friendship with one of them, and end up consoling that this lifestyle is way more fun. And it really was, atleast it was less complicated. Ofcourse, how much could we have possibly known? None of us had ever fallen in love, till then.

“Kisse lga pda h?” translated- “whom are you talking with?” I asked. Hindi sounded more fun!

“Oh yes, do you know Vishnaya Sharma?”

“No, who is she?”

“She is from our school only, I even met her at coaching yesterday’ – how the hell would I know; when I waste my entire day here, with you? I restrained myself from speaking my heart.

“She knows you?” I asked confused.

“Of course not” he chuckled. Over years we learnt to take any form of rejection in quite a sporting manner. “She looked familiar, so I searched her on facebook, sent her a request and started chatting with her”

“She accepted your request and started chatting with you?” I asked, mildly shocked. Having a request accepted and chatting with a girl was still a pretty big deal amongst us.

“Yes, she did; look here” he answered, delighted. He got up from the chair and sat beside me on the bed, so even I could peep into his chat.

“How is she?” he asked anxiously, opening her profile. She has posted a mirrored selfie, and as in every boys’ ingrained tendency; I ’observed’ her. She was wearing kohl, and had applied too dark a shade of lipstick. She definitely needed to learn elegance from Muskan. Over months my taste has improved. Nevertheless, she looked pretty. Average looking girls simply do not exist.

“Beautiful, gorgeous” I winked at him. I knew he had probably already imagined and pictured themselves as a couple, sitting on the last bench at coaching, sharing a cozy moment. This is how our mentality worked. Atleast our imaginations were beautiful, unlike our life.

He went back to chatting. I called Sahaj to see if he could also join us, he couldn’t. He had to pick up her sister from coaching. But he insured he would be available for cricket. I remembered our vacations, our crazy routine. We would roam around the streets, admiring nature’s beauty and of residents of a girl’s hostel near an under-constructed bridge.

All of that was before, our schools started. And we got busy in our coaching. Even he knew he won’t ever be able to crack any big entrance exam. But I had not seen more optimistic person, he always believed that as time goes by, things will fall in place. Sometimes, I envied him for his mentality and his looks too, I always thought amongst us he would be the first one to get a girlfriend. Yet, he was the first one to point out the fact that even in the modern era when love prevailed; we will have to settle for arranged marriages and that too after atleast half a dozen rejections; compared to that, I preferred being alone. Moreover, I don’t think anything could even come close to what I had pictured with Muskan.

“So, what’s up with you?” Prateek asked, breaking my string of thoughts.

“Same, boring” I replied. I noticed he had kept down his cell; she must have gone offline by then. I came second in his priority list, after girls but being the state we were in; I didn’t mind much.

Infact this is the natural sequence of almost every boy’s priority list. It starts with girl, followed by girl, continues for some time with girl, then there is always porn and sex stories which I think is so damn obvious that isn’t even worth mentioning but still… and then comes the irrelevant stuff such as studies, hobbies, blah.

“You sure?” he confirmed.

“Well, I have something to share”

“Is it about Muskan?” The fact that he could sometimes see right through me, made me unnerving.

“Hmm, yes”

“What happened?”

Then I narrated him the entire event. Well, not the entire event. I could not simply tell him that she cut her forearm, it would seem stupid. Love is stupid. Infact love was a word that was taboo in our group.

Love was something beyond our comprehension level. Also, I cut out the ’moment’ from the garden; else topic would have been diverted elsewhere altogether. I told him about breakup, how weak she became, what all followed and then how they sorted it all out.

“Unbelievable” he said, his first response.

“How so?” I asked, confused.

“How can she be so stupid?”

“Maybe she took a fool’s advice and gave him a second chance”

“You persuaded her to do this?” his mouth wide-open.

“I had to”

“Why?”

“Well what was I supposed to say? To leave him, wouldn’t it seem desperate?”

“Maybe, but it also may have been the right thing to do. You know that Tushar is not interested in this relation anymore, he is bored”

“Then why is he holding onto her? He came clean and apologized, that has to mean something, right?”

“Yes, it does. He doesn’t want to lose her, he values her but he has moved out of this relation a long time ago, and everyone knows it”

“But she hasn’t”

“Maybe she has too, maybe it’s just that they have shared such intense relation for so long that they both are afraid to move ahead, but the spark is gone. We can see it, when a relation goes through something like this, it is nearing end”

“But everyone deserves a second chance” that’s the best line I could rehearse, he argued pretty well till then.

“Yes, dude, everyone does” he said, pointing his finger towards me.

“Whatever, let it be, she obviously wants him”

“What do you want?” her, for lifetime; I guess.

“For now, all I wish is to tell her how much she means to me, what all I feel for her, that in a way she completes my life” I thought, rather loudly. He smirked, which was fine by me. I was kind of expecting him to burst into laughter.

“You’re in deep shit” he said. I made myself a fool there too. There is just no use contemplating love life with friends; sooner or later it ends up being a topic to be mocked upon.

But he understood me well. He knew I was sad. From then on, he changed the topic; he knew consoling me would be a futile attempt. Not that he could do that either. The only sort of comfort we can give, they only way of expressing our genuine care we knew was in insulting each other, nothing else.

Boys have a different way of dealing with crisis. We keep it inside, and as time passes it gets crushed with even more troubles to that point that we eventually stop caring about it. Few minutes later, Sahaj called from outside; it was time to play.

I felt sad, why the hell were we growing up so much? When did our life get so complicated? All of us were busy in our respective coaching, trying to figure out some sort of future for us and I missed our daily fun. It got restricted to odd days like that one. I needed them at that time, to get myself back to my previous life. I felt as if I have walked down the wrong path, a path which was just not meant for me. I shook myself up, and followed him down the stairs. A boy’s life may turn upside down but friends never lose their relevance.

“Tell me something…” he asked, locking the door. “…if things get back on track for them, where does that lead you to?”

“Dead end!”