Chapter Chapter Thirty-Seven
Gwen
I curtseyed. I was supposed to be all cold and aloof, but he just had to go and do something funny. And I just had to go along with the joke.
On the bright side, this guy isn’t the traitor and we can cross one more suspect off the list. I take a sip of my latte and nearly melt into the chair. It’s amazing. I’ve only had water from the lake for the past six days and, though it’s been deliciously refreshing, this coffee is the most amazing thing I’ve had in almost a week. There’s the perfect amount of caramel syrup and, to my surprise, Derek remembered that I don’t take it with sugar and I have skim milk in my coffee. It’s the perfect drink right now and I almost shout my thanks from the rooftop. It’s just that good and the warmth eases my discomfort.
“Okay, so you called me in here to check in on my training?” Darius is incredibly suspicious of our motives. “I’m sure you didn’t need all these people and an official meeting to ask me that.”
Much to my disappointment, Jasper is nowhere near as skilled at covering up his intentions when I clear a suspect as quickly as this. Hank can do it seamlessly, Jasper flounders.
“We have our reasons,” Hank comes to the rescue. “And I’d appreciate it if you kept this meeting to yourself.”
“Of course, Sir,” replies Darius as he stands and walks out of the room.
“You really need to work on that,” Derek says from his spot on a couch on the other side of the room.
“Maybe Hank should just handle the interrogations,” Jasper suggests. “He’s better at all of this than me. I’m nowhere near as subtle and the people I talk to are always so suspicious of us when they leave.”
“Finally!” says Hank. “It’s about time you said that. I thought you’d never admit how terrible you are at this.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep your hair on Hank,” Jasper responds, trying to act offended. “Who’s next on the list?”
Hank walks behind his desk and pulls out the same sheet of paper from before. He searches the list, making a few notes as he goes, and then walks over to the table to sit down.
“Next up is Garret,” he says with a frown on his face.
“It’s totally not Garret,” Oliver says with a snort. “It seems like a waste of time to even bother talking to him.”
“We can’t afford to make assumptions like that,” Derek says, a little sternly if I’m not mistaken.
The whole room sobers a little at his tone and we wait out the rest of the time in silence.
Thankfully we only wait a few minutes before there is a knock at the door once again and Garret sheepishly walks into the room. He stops dead in his tracks and a welcoming smile slowly spreads across his face when he sees me in the corner. For some reason, it just doesn’t sit right with me.
“Gwen!” He says, completely taken by surprise. “It’s so wonderful to see you, how have you been?”
Why am I so suspicious of him right now? It’s so stupid! I’m just going to have to get over it.
“Hey Garret, I’ve been just fine,” I reply.
Hank cuts off our conversation, which I’m thankful for because I need to get inside Garret’s head, and motions for Garret to sit at the table.
I completely tune out their conversation as I trace Garret’s frequency and enter his mind. It’s so strange in here. His connection to plants and animals is strong enough that I can sense several other lives within his mind. I have to wade through them to get to his memories. I rush ahead, hoping to get through them quickly, but I run straight into a solid wall. Thankfully he doesn’t notice. Entering his mind the way I did means that he won’t sense me in here, no matter what I do. I used his bodies own natural vibrations and frequencies to get in here, so anything he senses from me will be misinterpreted as his own energy. The wall is solid. He has an incredibly strong mental defence which is shocking enough; he’s supposed to be terrible at mentalism. He’s spoken to me within my mind a few times but the connection has never been all that strong. I’ll let it slide; it’s entirely possible that he’s good at one aspect of mentalism and horrible at all of the others. It takes me a while but I finally manage to break through the first layer of his defences. I’m thrown straight into some adorable memories of him tending to the plants and animals within his forest area. It’s not long before I hit another brick wall. Why on earth does he need this much protection? I stop my train of thought right there. I’ve got this much protection up around my mind as well, and I’m certainly not the traitor. He might just prefer to have these defences in place as a simple precaution against…well, people like me trying to do exactly what I’m doing right now. I suppose it isn’t him either. The memories that I’ve seen have been perfectly innocent and I feel kind of guilty for doubting him. He’s been nothing but kind and supportive since I arrived and it feels terrible to have doubted him. Although, I feel terrible for doubting my friends too but I haven’t taken them off my suspect list…why is this so confusing?!
“Gwen?”
What’s that? I look up and notice that everyone is looking at me. Garret is gone. When did he leave?
“Gwen, are you all good over there?” asks Oliver.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, sorry. I must have zoned out. What happened?”
“You glowed for a little bit and then the light faded and you just kind of sat there like a zombie,” Anya answers my question and I realise that I don’t remember any of that. I must have been completely consumed by Garret’s mind.
“So,” Hank begins, if not a little timidly. “What did you get from Garret?”
“Oh, I don’t think it’s him but I didn’t really get enough from him to completely rule him out. He has some incredibly strong mental defences and I wasn’t able to break them quickly enough to get a decent reading on him,” I explain. “However, from what I did see, I’d say it isn’t him. Just, don’t completely clear him just yet. I’ll need another few goes at his mind before I can be 100% confident of his innocence.”
They look as surprised as I felt.
“That’s not possible,” says Jillian. “Garret doesn’t have an affinity for mentalism. He doesn’t know how to do any of that.”
But that’s not true and she knows it, she’s just surprised.
“You know as well as I do that you don’t have to have an affinity for mentalism to be able to guard your mind. It’s more a force of will than it is an act of magic.”
Did that sound facetious? I didn’t mean to sound so annoying.
“You’re right,” she says. “I was just surprised. I’ve just never thought of him as the type to have such intense shielding. He never has before.”
“I can understand why he would now.”
Did I say that out loud? Oops. Thankfully it doesn’t look like anyone is going to comment on it.
“So what are we supposed to do? Take him off the list but be suspicious of him anyway?” asks Jasper, more than a little annoyed at the idea.
“We could bring him in for more interviews. As many as it takes for Gwen to get an accurate read,” suggests Oliver.
That isn’t going to work. The more attention they pay to him the more suspicious he will become and he’ll just fortify his defences. They just need to leave him be. I can get into his head any time I want just by following his frequency; it’ll just take longer if I do it my way. Besides, there’s no point wasting time on Garret. The time spent on extra interviews would be time better spent bringing in real suspects.
“That wouldn’t work. Even if he was the traitor, you’d just end up tipping him off. I can get into his head whenever I want so keep to your schedule and leave Garret to me. It’s probably best not to waste time on him when there are plenty of other more likely suspects.”
“That’s true. I doubt its Garret anyway. He’s never so much as raised his voice, I have no idea how he could have remained that in control at every minute in all the years we’ve known him,” says Derek. He agrees with me. Whether he thinks I’m right or he just wants to try to get in my good graces remains to be seen.
“Well, we’re all free to head off and relax until tomorrow. Garret was our last interview for the day,” says Hank, sitting back behind his desk and clearing a space for a stack of paperwork that he’s clearly settling in to complete. “Be back here at 8:00am and we’ll set up for another round of interrogations.”
I know a dismissal when I hear one and I find that I’m more eager to get out of here than I expected. I guess I’ve become accustomed to being on my own again over the past week. I say a hasty goodbye and I’m out the door, quickly followed by Derek. Anya and Oliver are still in the room. I guess he asked them to stay behind so he could talk to me himself. I pretend not to notice as he falls into step beside me and I hear him draw breath several times, obviously about to say something and then changing his mind. Eventually he just settles on walking in silence, only problem is that now I’m wildly curious as to what he wants. I guess I’ll change my plans. I was going to head back to the arena and go back into hiding but I know that, if I don’t find out what he wants, it’s just going to bug me. So I change direction, knowing that he’s going to follow wherever I go. I make it to the cafeteria, still without a word from either of us, and head straight to the Thai booth.
“Two serves of chicken pad Thai please Mira,” I say as I get to the front of the line. I see Derek’s surprise out of the corner of my eye and pretend not to notice. Instead I just hand him one of the meals and walk off again, this time to my apartment. I have no intention of staying there for the night, but I know that I don’t want whatever this conversation is going to be about to be overheard. I also just really want to go back to my place. All my stuff is there and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed my books and clothes. Keeping myself and my clothes clean was easy, a little magic was all I needed to keep myself fresh as a daisy. But I have been in these clothes for a week and, whether they’re clean or not, that’s a long time to be wearing the same outfit. I’m instantly at ease the second I get to the door. It’s a feeling of home that I’ve been lacking and the feeling only increases the minute I step into the apartment. I put my food down on my side of the table and walk into the kitchen to grab drinks.
“Is water okay? I have juice and stuff too,” I ask Derek. His surprise has only increased since we got here and it’s almost funny.
“Uh, water is fine,” he says as he sits at the table. I feel him watching me as I turn to the little refrigerator and get two bottles out.
“So, the reason you followed me out of Hanks office is?” I ask as I hand him the bottle, take my seat and dig into my food. It’s delicious, as usual. He doesn’t answer. Instead he just smirks and starts eating his food too. Alright, I’ll play along. It’s not until after we’ve finished out food and he’s helped me clear the table that he finally speaks up. He sits on the counter top and pins me with a glare similar to the one Hank has been using in his interrogations.
“Where have you been?” he finally asks me. Oh, I get it. He wanted to get me alone so he could grill me. It’s an interesting tactic. His voice sounds calm, not the real calm, the kind of calm that’s only used when someone wants to hide some sort of serious emotion.
“Gwen, please, where did you go?” His voice wavers as he asks me again, this time revealing a little of the emotion he’s trying to hide. I thought it would be anger, but I’m fairly certain he’s hurt. I guess there are plenty of reasons why he might be hurt. Me not trusting him, me assuming he’s a traitor, me ignoring him, me running off and disappearing for nearly a week without a word…I could keep going but it’d be a long list. Hearing his hurt cracks my icy exterior, not enough for me to open up to him completely, but enough for me to answer him.
“I’ve been in the refuge, I never left.”
He scrunches his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, something I’ve never seen him do before. Maybe I’ve just never pushed him to this level of exasperation before.
“No, that’s not actually good enough. I’m sorry, but I really need to know, so can you just give me some real answers here? We searched this whole place but we never even got a sense of your aura, so we know you weren’t in the refuge Gwen. Do you know how stupid it was for you to leave, huh? They could have gotten to you out there and we never would have known about it. We couldn’t protect you because you weren’t here. We even went to your house Gwen. It was clear that you hadn’t gone there so where, Gwen? Where did you go?!”
He jumped off the counter and began pacing across the living room. I’m frozen in my chair, completely thrown by everything he just said. None of it was faked. I was testing his aura the whole time. There was no deception, no forced emotion. His aura was nothing but hurt, annoyance, concern and genuine caring for me. It almost made me fall out of my chair if I’m being honest. To believe that he could be the traitor I had to convince myself that he didn’t care at all. That he had faked everything so that he could get close enough to me to gather any real information. He just shattered that delusion in a millisecond and now I’m left with absolutely no idea how to handle this conversation. I shouldn’t have let this conversation happen. It’s going to be so much harder to cut myself off from him. I sit in silence, admittedly in a state of mild shock, not able to respond. I don’t know how to respond.
“No you don’t,” he says, moving to stand right in front of me and leaning over me. “No freezing up, remember?”
I blush as memories of that night on the couch come flooding back to me. Yes, Derek, I certainly do remember. Vividly. I guess I can answer his questions, what harm could it really do?
“I was here, I was in the arena the whole time. I kept myself shielded so that you wouldn’t be able to find me.”
“I don’t believe you,” he’s shaking his head, like he’s trying to shake off my words. “We would have known.”
How do I convince him? Oh yeah, I have an idea.
“You, Oliver and Anya have been training in there, starting four days ago. Three days ago Anya kicked Oliver so hard that he flew into the lake. She used her water magic to trap him in a whirlpool while the two of you laughed at him as he tried to swim out. Eventually he just teleported out, grabbed hold of the both of you, and teleported the three of you back into the water.”
His look goes from annoyed to absolutely pissed.
“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO COME OUT AND TALK TO US?!”
“No, Derek, I didn’t. And if you shout at me again, so help me, I will kick your arse so hard your ancestors will feel it. Do you understand?!”
He’s clearly still pissed but he puts his hands up with that now familiar placating gesture and steps back. I take that as my cue to continue.
“I didn’t come out because the arena was my safe place. I was alone in there, no one could gather information on me and if no one knew where I was, then no one could tell anyone where to find me. No, I didn’t come out to talk to you because there are four people on my list who, to me, are most likely to be the Recruiter. I think you know exactly who those people are,” he flinches but I continue anyway. I’m a roll, why stop now? “I had no intention of giving away my safe haven to people who could potentially be trying to kill me. And don’t you dare take this attitude with me. I knew what I had to do to find out who it was and I’m not stupid enough to have left the refuge. This place is shielded and full of Warriors who, traitor or not, would fight to defend this place from anyone who would be stupid enough to launch an attack. The only reason I came out today was to see where you guys were at with all of this and the only reason I even stayed was because it takes less time to get inside people’s minds using the system that you guys have set up.”
I’m breathing heavily and standing right in front of Derek by the time I finish my tirade. It felt good to get that out. The look on Derek’s face tells me that I’ve left him a little shell shocked. It turns out that we’re both a lot angrier than we thought we were. It looks like it’s going to be a while before he thinks of something to say so I walk into my bedroom and head straight to my closet. I may as well take a few things with me when I head back to the arena. I can shield myself and Derek will never even know I went back there. He follows me in and just watches me. He doesn’t say a word until he sees me put a pile of shirts into a backpack. He rushes across the room, as fast as you can really ‘rush’ when you’re walking on lily pads, and takes the bag from my hands.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”
He throws the bag onto the bed and glares at me. Seriously, what’s with all the glaring today?
“You’re not going to pack a bag. You’re not leaving again.”
He’s angry, but I think there’s also panic in his eyes.
“You can’t do that to me again. I mean, to us again. You can’t do that to us again. We were going out of our minds.”
He’s stopped yelling now, he just kind of sounds defeated. My heart shatters as he looks at me and I see how truly exhausted he is. This whole ordeal seems to have taken a bigger toll on him than I thought.
“Alright,” I say, completely on impulse.
“What?’”
“I said alright. I won’t take off again.”
“Thank Christ for that,” he looks relieved but the tension returns pretty quickly. “You don’t trust us at all anymore, do you?”
The question takes me off guard and I feel a twinge of guilt at the answer I know I have to give him. I won’t insult him by lying.
“No, I don’t,” my voice is sad, even to me. “I want to Derek, you have no idea how much I want to, but I just can’t. It’s not like I’ll be losing a friend if I trust the wrong person. I’ll lose my life and, if what you’ve all told me about the Recruiters is true, then I’ll lose my life only after extensive torture and torment. I can’t risk that. I won’t risk that.”
His expression takes an unexpected turn. He goes from hurt to hopeful just like that.
“Go through my head.”
“What?”
That was the last thing I expected to hear from him. He wants me to go through his head? Not that I don’t want to, I’ve tried. But for some reason it just doesn’t work.
“Go through my mind. I’ll let you in. You can go through any memories you want, I won’t try and stop you.”
“Why? Why would you let me do that?”
He looks at me like I’m an absolute idiot.
“Isn’t it obvious? You can finally find out if I’m the traitor and we can stop all of this.”
“Stop all of what?”
This whole conversation has left me completely dazed. I don’t even think I know what he’s talking about anymore.
“You can stop avoiding us and acting like you’re okay with being alone.”
“I am okay with being alone,” I say, completely defiant.
He looks at me, like he’s studying me, and I have the urge to crawl into a hole. Anything to get away from that look that says he’s seeing straight through me. It’s incredibly unnerving.
“No you’re not.”
He takes a step toward me and I instinctively take a step back. I regret the look of hurt that crosses his face, but I won’t let him get too close. He steps back again, standing just inside the doorway.
“Do it, Gwen. Look at my memories, okay?”
I can’t though. He won’t believe that, but I’ve tried plenty of times and it’s never worked! Does he really think that it wasn’t one of the first things that I tried to do?
“You should probably go.”
“What? Gwen?!”
“Please leave Derek. Just, please go.”
I need him to leave. It feels too comfortable having him here and if he keeps acting so hurt and trustworthy then I know I’ll just give in and I can’t afford to do that.
He looks like he’s about to argue further, but he just turns around and storms out. He doesn’t exactly slam the door, but it’s pretty loud when he closes it. I’m alone again and for the first time I feel grateful for it. That was way too intense and I brought it all upon myself when I invited him here. I’ll keep my word though, I won’t run off again. I put my clothes back in the closet and almost run into the shower. It feels amazing, the familiar scent of my shampoo and body wash helps to wash away some of my stress. It’s not long before I’m letting myself flop down onto the bed, which is so much more comfortable than I remember. I’m asleep almost immediately and it’s absolute bliss.