Chapter This Is For Him
WARNING: This chapter has attempted suicide. It is not overly graphic but it is there.
🐺Kody🐺
“I’m going to go get something to eat”.
“Ok. I’ll be seeing off Marcus and Tessa and then I will come find you.” he says before we go our separate ways.
I walk back to the pack house. All the new wolves around here make me very nervous so I tend to stay with Alester or one of the other members of the team. As I am walking to the rear kitchen door I see Sun and she looks incredibly worried.
“Hi Kody, Have you seen Tia and Mia?” she asks, a bit breathless.
“Yeah, they are playing in the play area outside”.
Her shoulders relax showing her relief, “thank the Goddess and thank you Kody”.
“You’re welcome”.
Those two girls are going to be the death of her. I walk a little further and I can hear the three newest wolves talking in the kitchen. They make me the most uncomfortable but I don’t know if that’s just because I don’t like all the new wolves running around or if it’s really just a vibe they give off.
“I can’t believe Alester is still with that little wimp. He deserves someone so much stronger.” I think that’s Jessika, she really does not like me.
“He’s part of the elite warriors, he’s not a wimp but he definitely isn’t there based on pure skill.” one of the others says, perhaps he’s not that bad.
“We need to convince Alester that Kody is no good; that he needs to come back and join our improved pack and take his rightful place as Alpha.” I think that was Samuel meaning the other guy was Vinny.
“I think we should just make him come with us.” Vinny says.
Jessika chimes in “All we need is to get Alester away from his guard dogs and the plan to take him back will succeed”.
What the fuck? I open the door and walk in. They all look over at me, they don’t even look a little bad for what they said or what they are planning.
“You should just kill yourself. You’re weak. You don’t even have a wolf. Hahaha how pathetic.” Samuel says.
“You’re not good enough to be with a wolf like Alester. He needs someone strong and you’re just a used up pack toy.” Jessika adds.
What did I do to deserve this? I know I’m disgusting but do they have to say such terrible things to me?
“It’s either you take your life now or the bond severing will take you when he mates someone worthy.” Vinny says... ok definitely not any better.
I start hyperventilating.... Why are they doing this? They are right though. He deserves someone better than me. I turn, block my scent and run from the house. I can hear them laughing as I run away. I ran past the cubs play area and into the woods. He deserves someone strong, not someone weak and pathetic like me.
I run until I can’t run anymore... It’s better this way. He’ll be happier and stronger with me gone. Alester spends too much of his precious time worrying about me. He needs someone stable. I can set him free... I will set him free.
I take out my hunting knife and cut a small piece of wolfsbane I found. I take my knife and slit my wrist, then I pack the wound with the wolfsbane. I do the same to the other and wait. I can feel peace washing over me. It’s all ok now. You are free of me.
🐺Alester🐺
I’m running towards the front door when agonizing pain shoots through my entire body converging at my heart.
“AAAHHHH NOOOO KODY!” I scream out.
Sadie is walking into the house when the pain hits me and I collapse into her arms.
“Alester, what’s wrong?” she asks worriedly.
“K-Kody... S-something’s... wrong.” I stutter out.
Sadie says she links Brandon to see if he knows but he must not because a moment later I hear him ask through the pack link. Almost everyone replies quickly and sadly nobody has seen him. Sadie is about to head in to check but he’s not there. I looked.
“He’s... not... i-in... t-the h-house”.
"All warriors start searching the grounds for Kody. Assume he’s scent blocking. Find him. NOW!"
Sun comes in with the girls. I hardly register anyone there. I’m trying to stay conscious. I need to find my little wolf, my Kody. I’m struggling against Sadie but she won’t let me go.
“Hurry up girls, it’s nap time.” Sun says to her girls.
“Mama, wolfie sad”.
“We go wolfie happy Mama?”
“Who’s wolf is sad, girls?” Sun asks them.
“I nono Mama” they say “no wolfie be sad Mama”.
“Girls, where did the sad wolfie go?” she asks a bit panicked
“Rees Mama the rees”.
“The trees?” she asks carefully.
“Yes Mama the rees!” They yell happily and clap because Sun figured out their guessing game.
Things are starting to spin and get dark. I am running out of time. I need to find my baby and I need to find him now.”
"Let me take control. I can and will find our mate." Lex links me.
"ok." I link back.
I’m barely conscious as Lex shifts and runs around the house. Sadie is yelling after us but Lex doesn’t care he is determined to find Little Wolf. Kody must have run past the play area so that’s where we are going to start.
Sadie must have linked Brandon about what the girls had said because he meets us just past the play area.
"Alester, we found signs of him a mile east of the play area." he links.
We run for four more miles before our senses are hit with the strong scent of blood and Kody’s unmistakable scent.
Lex links Owen, ”Owen get ready for Kody, he has lost a lot of blood“.
"Estimated time of arrival?" Owen links back.
"Forty to sixty minutes out“.
I see Kody’s limp body against a tree, his hunting knife beside him. I noticed the wolfsbane packed in his wounds and pulled it out before I pulled him towards me.
“Kody, Kody please Little Wolf. Please don’t leave me. I love you. Please don’t go.” I cry into his chest.
beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Sadie drives around behind us in one of our all-terrain vehicles. Brandon helps me get Kody in the back and then we drive back towards the pack house.
With Sadie following us with the ATV we now have a way faster arrival time. Trying to carry Kody back would have taken forever.
"Owen, we’ll be there in fifteen minutes“.
"We’re ready but what are his injuries?" he responds.
"Slit wrists packed with wolfsbane“.
Approximately fifteen minutes later we pulled up to the Pack house. Owen is waiting with nurse Vivian. She’s kind of a scary lady when she wants to be but she’s a damn good nurse and I don’t trust anyone with Kody but her and Owen.
“Set him on the gurney.” Owen instructs me.
I rush inside the door where the gurney is waiting at the elevator. I lay him down and they wheel him away.
They won’t let me see him right now which is fine because the adrenaline is gone and I feel like I’m dying. Sadie helps me back to mine and Kody’s bedroom. When she opens the door I’m attacked by some small blonde lady.
“Alester, is he ok?” she asks.
Sadie looks really confused, “um... who are you?”
She turns to Sadie and hugs her which just confuses Sadie even more.
“I’m the Moon Goddess.” she replies like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Sadie just stares at her for a moment, “like THE Moon Goddess?”
“Yes dear.” she says.
She gets a dopey look on her face, “Thanks for Brandon, he’s amazing”.
“You’re very welcome. Thank you for taking care of my sweet Kody”.
Sadie tears up, “I will do anything for him. He is family”.
The Goddess nods and turns to me, “Alester. I’m going to put you into a coma for twelve hours. You need to rest before you kill yourself with worry”.
“No absolu-”
“You don’t have a choice. It will be ok, I promise”.
She reaches out to me, taking me from Sadie and laying me on my bed. She places a hand on my heart and my head.
I woke up in a weird Oasis. What the fuck is going on here? Where am I?
“You need to relax.” Selene says.
“No, I need to be with Kody!” I yell, frustrated.
“Not Now.” she snaps, “He’s doing better but he’s not out of the woods. His self-esteem is fragile. He’s trying so hard to be what he thinks you want him to be”.
“I just want him... exactly the way he is.” I say sadly with tears streaming down my face.
“I know that and you know that but Kody isn’t used to this life... Even after two and a half years he struggles. He’s still scared this is all in his head.” she whispers while comforting me.
I ask her if Kody will make it but she says she doesn’t know. She goes on to say that unlike the rest of us Kody is a wild card and that she is unable to influence or see his potential paths .
“I love him so much. I really thought our bond was helping him to heal. He doesn’t talk down about himself as much as he use to and he doesn’t stutter around our other pack members as much either. I feel so useless”.
“It does help him but in his mind he fights a never ending battle and the biggest battle has been fighting is whether or not he deserves you. He doesn’t think he’s good enough. He thinks he was doing you a favour and that you never should have taken back your rejection”.
Goddess. He’s the most amazing wolf I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and he’s mine. I get the honour of loving him for the rest of our long lives together.
Tears rolled down my face. I love him and I want him in my life more than anything. I wish I’d never rejected him. I wish I’d never made him feel like I didn’t need him because it’s the opposite. I need him more than I’ve ever needed everything.
Selene sits with me a while longer before she tells me to relax and that I’ll be back with Kody before I know it.
When I wake up Sadie and Brandon and on the other side of the bed asleep. They must have stayed with me the whole time. Trying not to disturb them I get up and go down to the infirmary. Kody hasn’t woken up yet but that’s probably because of the wolfsbane. He hasn’t healed much either.
“Kody, I’m sorry if you thought you needed to be more than you can be. I’m so, so sorry”.
I hold his hand waiting and praying that he comes back to me. I don’t know how long I am sitting here before Brandon enters the room.
“I have news from Marcus and Tessa from Alaska”.
“What did they find?”
“They found a pilot that had flown out three males and an unconscious female. There had been a small avalanche and they posed as a group of doctors on a ski trip and they needed to fly out fast because their friend was getting care back home they had all sorts of documents to prove it. Even had her on a gurney”.
“Did they find out where ‘home’ is?”
“Blood Moon Pack”.
“Blood Moon Pack?” I ask. I have never heard of this pack and I know most packs in Canada and the United States.
“Les’ new pack”.
“What?” I was shocked.
Brandon nods, “He invaded Black Blood, killed their Alpha and anyone who would stand against him”.
“Why kidnap the girl?” I ask in confusion, none of this makes sense to me.
“My assumption is he’s trying to get you to come back. There is no way he hasn’t heard about what we do”.
My father is absolutely out of his goddamn mind if he thinks he can bribe me to leave Kody to come for some girl. Kody is my life and I will never willingly leave him.