In Your Wildest Dreams (Wildcat Hockey Book 4)

After classes for the day are over, Everly, Grace and I go to Scarlett’s house to watch the game.

“Hi.” Scarlett hugs me, catching me a little off guard. She’s been so lovely and welcoming each time we’ve hung out, but I’m still not used to it. “I’m so glad you came.”

“I brought wine.” I hold up the bottle.

“You didn’t need to do that.” She takes it with a smile and heads into the kitchen. I follow her, and my roommates go to the living room with Piper and Jade.

“Can I help with anything?” I ask, spotting Callum in his highchair. He has dark hair that sticks up all over the place and these big blue eyes framed with long lashes.

She’s right. I didn’t need to bring wine. The counter is lined with bottles far nicer than the one I brought. And food. So much food. It’s all catered and smells delicious.

“No. I think I got it. Help yourself to food and drinks. I need to feed this little guy first before I join everyone.”

A timer goes off at the same time Callum drops his pacifier and starts to cry. Scarlett glances from the oven to Callum.

“I got it.”

She hesitates but then nods. “Thank you. I already burned one batch of cookies.”

While Scarlett stops the timer and takes out the cookies, I rinse off Callum’s pacifier.

“Hi,” I say softly to him as I squat down and hand it back. He stops crying immediately, and I’m rewarded with a slobbery smile and a peek at two little teeth on the bottom gum.

He swats at my hand still resting on the top of his high chair tray and curls his little finger around my thumb.

“You’re good with him,” Scarlett says as she comes over to check on him. She helps him put the pacifier in his mouth. The cute little thing looks up at his mom adoringly.

“Thanks. I’ve always liked kids.”

“Do you want your own?”

My stomach flutters as I get a picture of Ash chasing around a blonde-headed little girl or boy. He’s so good with the kids he coaches that it’s an easy image to lock on to.

“Yeah. Eventually.” I smile at Callum and then stand tall. “Are you and Leo planning to have more?”

“We’ve talked about it, but probably not for another year or so. Callum keeps us on our toes and Leo’s gone so much. Well, you know what it’s like.”

“I don’t think Ash and me are the same as you and Leo.”

“Not yet.” She smiles at me. “Speaking of, have you talked to him today?”

“Ash? Yeah, earlier.” My stomach swoops as I think about the last twenty-four hours. It all made me realize just how much I like him. Scarlett is staring at me like she’s waiting for me to say more. “Is it hard doing it all on your own while Leo’s gone?”

“It’s obviously easier when he’s here, but no. I have Jade next door and Dakota and Piper a couple of blocks away. Everly and Grace…you. We all look out for each other. The guys are more family than teammates and that extends to us. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. If you need us, we’re there.”

I feel the impact of her words. She means it. I’ve felt it from all of them.

“Game’s about to start,” Everly calls from the living room.

We all pile into Scarlett and Leo’s living room. Callum plays on the floor in front of the TV and the rest of us sit on couches and chairs.

“Is Meredith coming?” Jade asks.

Scarlett shakes her head. “No, she’s working tonight. Twins have a pre-season practice or something.”

“Spring training,” Grace says, mumbling as she chews a pretzel.

“Thank goodness.” Jade pulls a pillow onto her lap.

“I thought you liked Meredith,” Scarlett says.

“I do, but I have to censor every word I say when she’s around.”

Our host laughs quietly. “She’s not a spy.”

“No, worse. She’s a reporter. A sports reporter.”

“For the Twins. She doesn’t care about hockey.”

Jade doesn’t look convinced. “Uh-huh. I know media. I’m a writer. She would care if the story was juicy enough.”

“I like her,” Everly says.

Everyone goes quiet and turns to her.

“You do?” Jade squeaks out.

“Yeah. Why do you seem so surprised?”

“Because she’s dating Jack.”

“Aaaaand?” Ev’s brows rise.

Jade laughs. “You know what? Never mind. Someone pass me the bottle of red.”

The camera is aimed at center ice. The Wildcats are in their green jerseys and Dallas in white. Someone is singing the national anthem and occasionally it cuts to them or the team benches. I don’t see Ash immediately, but the cameras move too quickly to capture every single guy.

“I’m here. I’m here.” The front door shuts and then Dakota comes rushing into the living room. She’s the cutest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen. She’s all bump. “Sorry. I sat down and fell asleep.”

“Feeling okay?” Scarlett asks.

“Yeah, just exhausted all the time. This little monster inside me better love me more than Johnny. Did I miss anything?”

“No. You’re just in time,” Everly says.

The teams get set for face-off and then they’re off. Ash said Dallas would be a tough matchup. I hope he has a good game. I know how stressed he’s been about how he’s playing. I wish he could see what I do. He’s this amazing force. Maybe he’s not the top scorer but he has this energy about him. I’ve seen it when he’s talking to people and when he’s on the ice with his team. He matters. They need him.

“Where’s Ash?” Everly glances at me, brows furrowed. “I don’t see him out there.”

“Uhh…I’m not sure.” The camera pans the bench again. “Are you sure he’s not on the ice?”

“Yeah. Positive. He’s been playing on the second line with Nick and Johnny but they’ve got Travis out there instead.”

“Maybe he ran back to the locker room with the trainer for something,” Grace says. “Is his shoulder giving him trouble again?”

“No. I don’t think so.” A sinking feeling washes over me.

Scarlett leans forward and tops off my glass of wine. I can tell by her expression she knows something.

“What?”

“Maybe drink that first?” She tries to smile, but it’s more like a grimace.

I take a sip and then set it on the coffee table. “What do you know?”

“Ash didn’t say anything?”

“About what?”

She blows out a breath that puffs out her cheeks. “Okay, don’t freak out but Ash and Gabe got into some sort of fight in the locker room before the team left.”

“What?” The girls ask all at once. My voice doesn’t work.

“I don’t know all the details, but there was some sort of altercation. Leo said my dad was talking about benching him for the night. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure, and I didn’t know if you knew. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh god, this is all my fault.” My stomach cramps so hard I lean forward.

“No, it isn’t,” Everly says and glares at me. She’s the only one that knows the full story with Gabe.

“The Wildcats will be without forward Ash Kelly, who is sick, in tonight’s game against Dallas,” Jade reads from her phone.

Sick. Like I feel right now.

I know he was upset and that he wanted to go after Gabe last night, but this morning he seemed okay about standing down. Dammit. Maybe that was asking too much of even a cool-headed guy like Ash.

“Excuse me.” I hurry out of the living room and down the hall into the bathroom.

I close the door and then turn on the sink. Leaning forward, I stare at myself in the mirror. This is all my fault. No, fuck that. This is Gabe’s fault, but it’s also mine for getting Ash involved.

I knew it was a bad idea to date him. I knew it and I did it anyway.

“Bridge?” Everly knocks on the door.

I shut off the water and stand tall.

When I open the door, she and Grace both stand there.

“I’m so sorry.” Ev rushes forward and hugs me.

The three of us huddle together in the bathroom.

Grace rubs my arm and Everly takes my hand.

“This is not on you,” Ev says, like she can read my thoughts.

“I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him. I knew what Gabe was capable of. I knew and I did it anyway.”

Everly scoffs. “The only person responsible for this is Gabe. I mean honestly, if I’d run into the guy, I would have had an altercation with him too.”

“But it’s his career. This team and this place mean everything to Ash.”

“So do you.” Grace squeezes my arm.

“If he were to lose his spot on the team because of me…I couldn’t live with that.”

Scarlett peers in from the hallway. “Are you okay?”

I nod even though I’m not sure.

Jade, Piper, and Dakota are right behind her.

“I don’t know the whole story, but your ex sounds like a real piece of shit,” Jade says.

That makes an unexpected chuckle slip from my mouth.

“Whatever happened, we’ll figure it out, okay?” Scarlett smiles. “If my dad didn’t suspend him immediately then it couldn’t have been too bad.”

I blow out a breath. “I should go. I don’t really feel like watching the game anymore. Thank you for inviting me over.”

“You are always welcome,” Scarlett says. “I meant what I said earlier. We’ve got your back. Ash adores you and so do we.”

“You’re stuck with us, don’t try to fight it.” Dakota winks at me, which does ease a little of my anxiety. A little but not enough.

“Thank you. I just want to go home and take a long bath.”

“I’m coming with you,” Everly says.

“Me too. I’ll grab our stuff.” Grace brushes past us out of the bathroom.

“No, you guys should stay.” The last thing I want on top of everything else is to ruin their night.

“We love you,” Everly says. “You’re upset and we want to be there. You don’t have to talk to us or even be in the same room as us, but we’re going with you because that’s what friends do.”

A tear betrays me and falls down my face. “Damn you for being such good friends.”

She grins. “Just giving it back the same way you give.”

I spend the rest of the night an anxious mess. What am I going to say to him? I’m sorry doesn’t feel like enough. I compose a dozen text messages that I don’t send. Should I walk away? Everly says that’s letting Gabe win, and that isn’t what I want either. Ash always plays it off like everything will be fine. I love that he has this unwavering loyalty and determination to stand up for what’s right, but I know how much his team and hockey mean to him.

At midnight, exhausted from crying and worrying, I finally send one of the many texts I’ve composed.

ME

Maybe we should cool things off for a while?

Or maybe for good? I can’t help but think that none of this is fair to him. My throat is thick with emotion while I wait for his response. He’s said so many times that he wants me and that this isn’t casual, but that was before it was impacting his job. I wouldn’t blame him for protecting that.