In My Desperate Time

Grandpa’s stare makes me uncomfortable.
I swallow nervously and reply honestly, “Yes, my name is Jane Noyes.”
Has his grandpa met me somewhere before? Or he might have sensed something. Why else would he look at me like that?
Then he goes out.
He sits on the sofa in the living room, still looking into the kitchen from time to time. I feel a little uncomfortable so I close the
door.
I always sense something is wrong in the kitchen, but I am too hungry to think twice.
I want to eat dumplings, so I take the flour out of the fridge, and begin to prepare.
As I knead the dough for a while, I feel dizzy and out of breath.
“When Frances comes back, tell him I'm gone.”
Grandpa says outside the door.
“Okay.” I hold the wall and answer with difficulty.
The kitchen smells terrible.
What’s the smell?
I try to keep myself awake. Suddenly I realize that grandpa was startled by me. He knocked over the pan, water spilled out and
put out the fire, but the gas wasn’t turned off.
That’s why I feel so uncomfortable.
Breathing becomes more and more difficult, and I plod toward the gas stove.
My strength is running out. I lie on the ground and could not move a little.
It feels like the air in my lungs is being squeezed away, and I feel very sick.
But I am still awake.

The worse I feel, the more awake I am.
It seems that I am waiting for somebody. Deep in my thoughts, I believe that he will definitely come.
I can even hear the sound of a gas leak, it is so obvious why didn't I hear it before?
And, why I closed the door?
I think I am going to die slowly and painfully.
Until Frances Louis’s voice comes.
“Jane Noyes.”
I want to answer but my lips can’t move.
Frances Louis calls my name several times, then everything goes quiet.
Does he leave?
I feel so helpless.
The phone vibrates in my purse. It’s not loud. I wonder if Frances Louis can hear it.
A few seconds later, the door bursts open and Frances Louis rushes in.
I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I could feel him picking me up and putting me on the sofa.
At that moment my consciousness collapses and I pass out.
When I wake up, I am in the hospital, muzzled with an oxygen mask and tethered to an IV. Frances Louis is sitting by the bed,
looking at me with a sullen face.
My survival makes me want to thank Frances Louis.
I can't even imagine, if it wasn't for him, I would be a cold corpse now.
“Why would you do that?” He asks in a low voice.

Even if my head is still a little dizzy, I could clearly tell that he is in a bad mood.
I just don’t understand what he is talking about.
“What? What did I do?” I look at him with confusion.
“It’s your own life, and you don't cherish it. I already know about your family. As long as I'm here with you, things will work out.
You don't have to go to extremes.” His eyes are full of contemptuousness for me.
Okay, he misunderstands. He thinks that I want to kill myself.
He thinks that I want to commit suicide because of my family.
“No, I didn’t. It’s an accident.” I explain, “Because grandpa forgot to turn off the gas, and I didn’t smell it because I have a stuffy
nose these days.”
“Grandpa?” Frances Louis asks with a frown, “Maybe it’s the right choice for him to travel abroad now.”
Why did grandpa leave so quickly?
And I always think his attitude towards me is a little strange.
First, he treated me with coldness and hostility, then, he becomes a little conciliatory to me.
“Jane, are you okay?”
A voice comes from the door. The alarm bell rings in my heart.