In My Desperate Time

“Where is he?”
I put down the bowl and get up from the bed.
“The Moonlight Club.”
“He goes there to drink?”
I ask frowningly.
Wherever he goes, he should at least tell the family. He knows that our parents are so worried about him.
“No, worse than drinking.” Frances Louis looks at me, he seems hesitating to tell me the truth.
Now I am worried.
“He drinks and fights with others?”
It’s not impossible thinking of Frank Noyes’s impulsive temper.
“Damn it, he'd better not get into any serious trouble. I won't give him money no matter how big the problem he gets into.
Remember, you mustn't give them any money, not a cent.”
“He takes drugs.”
Frances Louis’s words like a bolt from the blue.
I don’t know how to react.
Frank Noyes grows up disobedient, but I never thought he would take drugs.
“Bring me there.”
I go to The Moonlight Club with Frances Louis. We find the unconscious Frank Noyes in a corner.
I've heard about The Moonlight Club before, which is the messiest place in whole Virginia. The high and low are mixed together.
There is a cash folded into a strip in front of Frank Noyes.

I have seen it on TV, and I know what it is.
People who take drugs forgets everything; they don't even remember their names.
I see the ice bucket on the table, and without thinking, I lift it and pour the ice over his head.
“What are you doing!”
Luckily, Frank Noyes wakes up. He glares at me. His eyes are red and he seems having lost his mind.
Of course, he wouldn’t treat me better when he is sober.
“Frank Noyes, go home with me!”
I drag him out. We attract many eyes from the corner to the door.
But people only glance at me briefly and then fall their eyes on Frances Louis.
Frances Louis drives me all the way to my apartment.
“Please wait here, I will come out soon.” I say to Frances Louis.
I don’t know what I would face after stepping into that door. There is something I don’t want Frances Louis to see.
I don’t want him to see that my life is a mess.
However, like not hearing what I said, Frances Louis follows me into the door.
“What are you doing here, your brother...” my mother sees me and gets ready to yell. She changes the color of her face as she
sees Frank Noyes behind me.
“Frank, where have you been? No matter where you go, you should tell us. Otherwise, we will worry about you. Your father and I
didn't sleep last night. Now you are back, as long as you come back safe and sound. But why are you so wet? Did you fall into
the water?”
“She poured me with a bucket of ice!”
Frank Noyes turns and points at me, his eyes full of hate, but his body is falling on my mother. It is obvious that drugs are still
controlling his body.

“Why did you do that? How can you pour ice on him?”
My mother's tone is more conciliatory than usual, but the words are still chilling.
I think it's because Frances Louis is here that she doesn't dare yell at me like she used to.
At that moment I felt it right for Frances Louis to come in with me.
I sneer, “you’d better ask your precious son, what did he do after running out.”
“What can he do? The worst he could do is drinking.” My mother says disapprovingly, pushing Frank Noyes toward the
bathroom. “Take a shower first, and don't catch cold.”
She is so distressed before her son catch a cold. I had a fever of 40 for Frank Noyes, but nobody asks.
Frances Louis looks at me meaningfully.
Perhaps he is feeling sorry for me. But the last thing I need is sympathy.
“He takes drugs! Your most precious boy takes drugs!”
Hearing what I said, my mother falls back unconsciously. Luckily, my father holds quickly so that she doesn’t fall to the ground.
When she gets her consciousness, the first thing she does is scolding me.
“Would your brother be like this if it weren't for you? If he had a good job and a girlfriend, he wouldn't be like this. He lost his job
and felt frustrated, he can only find some ways to ease the sadness! It's all your fault! You haven’t solved his problem for so long!
It’s you who ruined your brother!”
I stand there, looking at my mother's face, suddenly it feels strange.
The mother who loved me when I was a child is gone. Whatever Frank Noyes did, she can find a thousand excuses for him.
But whatever I did is wrong.
I also feel embarrassed that Frances Louis has seen all of this.

“Yes, she can’t do anything well. She can’t solve his problem.” Frances Louis, who has been standing by without speaking,
suddenly opens his mouth.
“Since she can't do anything well, then she won’t do it. From now on, Jane Noyes has nothing to do with you, and Frank Noyes
has nothing to do with her. Stay at home and wait for the lawyer’s letter.”
Then, Frances Louis pulls me out without looking back.