IN FULL COLOUR - Dark Fantasy

Axel

Run. Do not think, just run. Steady your breathing. Push yourself harder. The pain will go away soon, just a few more miles.

It has been four excruciating months since that dreadful evening I had met my fated mate, Gabrielle. And Lily, being the charming sister that she was, had been bugging me about it eversince.

Couldn’t she at least try to understand that I was not like her? That I didn't want the same things she wanted?

Sometimes I wondered why the Moon Goddess had made her my twin at all. We were nothing alike. In fact, I think opposites would be a better description of what we were. Yes, we shared similar features in our physical appearance, but that was about as far as it went.

Lily has always been the definition of a hopeless romantic. One who believed in love and happy endings, sometimes even beyond reason. I, however, did not. From years and years of experience, I knew that dreams like that were unrealistic and extremely naive. Love was not made to last forever, and happy endings were a lie crafted for hopeless fools. People who needed something to cling onto, who clawed desperately at the faintest glimmer of hope in their dark and depressing existences.

I was not made for it. Not made for love and certainly not made for a mate.

Stop thinking Axel!

Just run! How difficult could it be? Let the burn in your muscles drown out the thoughts of her. Focus on something else, anything else!

My life had been fine until the moment my eyes landed on her. That pitiful evening. Gabrielle.

From then on, my dreams had been haunted by her awe-filled caramel orbs staring at me from across the room. Her braided brown hair so dark, it had appeared almost black. Wherever I went, whatever I did, she was there pestering my thoughts time and time again.

She was like a virus, slowly spreading its poison through my veins, infecting every single cell in my body until every last part of me yearned for her, called to her like my wolf had been doing from that very first encounter.

I did not want this. I never wanted a mate.

Over the past few weeks, I have tried desperately to forget about her, to push her out of my mind, out of my life, but she kept popping up every time I went to sleep. Whenever my mind opened to its subconscious and I could not willingly force her out, she emerged.

My dreams were chronically haunted by her smooth, silky skin and full lips. The luscious curves of her body and those bright, sparkling eyes. Morning after morning I woke up to soiled boxers and cold, stained bedsheets. I hated it. I hated not having control over my own animalistic body with its need-driven nature. I hated lusting after her like some crazed beast.

I hated everything about finding a mate and as if lately, I hated everything about myself.

To make matters worse, my wolf had started rebelling against me within the first month after we found out about her. He had fought me every step of the way and whenever a she-wolf approached, as they had in the past, he was the one to step in and either frighten them away or render my body utterly useless by making it submit to his command.

Incompetence was something I had never struggled with before, but now, it seemed to be my new way of life. Nothing and no one excited me anymore and even the mere thought of getting intimate with another female had made bitter bile push up in the back of my throat.

I distinctly remember one instance where I had been so desperate to overcome my new curse that I tried to ignore the nausea. I tried to play my usual game of seduction until it got to such a point where I had actually vomited all over a poor unsuspecting young Delta. We hadn’t even gotten any further than taking off her shirt, but obviously, it had been far enough for my wolf.

I would never forget the look on the girl’s face just before she uttered a string of curse words and shoved me aside to bolt out of the room.

Speaking of bile, I stopped running and bent over the bushes just off the barely visible dirt trail.

Breathe.

Over exhaustion slammed into me like a runaway train, making the world dance before my eyes and sending waves of nausea pulsing through me. I swallowed, trying to reel the queasiness back in. Braced my hands on my knees and closed my eyes to stop the spinning. Every muscle in my body was screaming in protest, begging for water and rest.

The sun had begun to set in the distance, spreading its majestical last orange and golden glow over the earth. Glancing swiftly at my wristwatch, I realized that I had been running for two hours straight.

“Shit,” I grumbled through my breathless panting. Lily was going to kill me. I should have been back at their packhouse for her training session about twenty minutes ago. Luckily, she couldn’t mind-link me anymore and bug me with her constant nagging about Gabrielle.

Lily was no longer connected to our pack, Hollow Stone, after her mating to Raiden. She had become the new Luna of Shadow Creek, Raiden’s pack, which meant that her mind was now linked to their's and not ours anymore.

Although my legs wobbled weakly and my eyes blurred, I had no desire whatsoever to stop running. I still felt like my mind was clawing restlessly against the inside of my skull. Scraping and pushing at the confined space between bone and marrow.

Taking a deep, steady breath, I straightened, paced a few feet in the bushes and curled my fingers into a tight fist.

I was slowly being driven into madness and not a single person knew of the war that waged on inside of me. Sure, they could only assume, but I never showed anyone my suffering. All they needed to see was the Axel they once knew and loved. The carefree, playboy who always had a prank up his sleeve.

As another violent wave of frustration rolled over me, I let out an unearthly angry yell and tried to summon my wolf. Birds of all shapes and sizes burst out of the grassy felt and trees around me, fleeing from the threat they had registered. The threat being me.

My wolf remained passive, refusing to come forward yet again.

“NO!” I roared and pulled desperately at my sweat-soaked blonde hair. “WHY!?”

He did not answer. Did not even stir.