III. The Impact of Her

“This shows exactly my point,” Bethilda remarked as she pointed at me.

She turned back to Mother and James and asked, “Is this what you call exemplary manners?”

I instantly stepped right in front of her, face to face. My distance caught her by surprise and Bethilda stepped back right away. I put my hands behind my back and lowered my voice as I said, “And who are you to call us animals? Who are you to say that my parents failed to raise us properly? And who are you to disrespect them in their own castle and kingdom?”

Her eyes widened as she grew terrified with my tone and close distance towards her. She tried to avoid my glare but she knew she couldn’t.

“Robert, please,” James cautiously called me as he tried to calm me down.

“You have no right to stop me now, James,” I replied without removing my stare from Bethilda. “This hog is a relative but she is also a mere guest. She does not have the right to scream and demean the both of you in your own household,” I continued.

Bethilda gulped. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead, which she was quick to wipe away.

“You may be a relative of ours. But as a royal visitor, your actions are unacceptable. Must I remind you that you insulted the ruling monarchs of this kingdom?” I scolded her, forgetting the fact that she was my maternal aunt and elder. I gritted my teeth and continued, “You dare to call us animals because of how you were treated? As the children of the Crown, we did our part to respect you. However, you overstepped your boundaries, both as a guest and an aunt.”

I counted on my fingers and added, “You are given a beautiful and luxurious room. You are served and pampered by some of our best handmaidens. But I received that you treated them - like how you called us - animals.”

She opened her fan and fluttered it heavily onto herself. She took a few steps back, only for me to move even closer to her.

“Our parents taught us to stand for what is right. You are in our home. We did our part but did you do yours?” I continued. “You were welcomed with a fancy fanfare and the warmest welcome. And you dare to treat us this way? If you weren’t a relative - if you weren’t a woman - you would have been removed from this castle from your very first offence.”

The main hall grew quiet as I reached my limit. The servants came to a halt as they did not want to be reached by my anger.

I stepped back and said, “Now, if you would be so kind as to leave our peaceful home, that will be greatly appreciated. And if you continue to act this way, I suggest that you don’t come back until you learn your lesson.”

Bethilda looked at my parents for one last time before she walked away. The servants rushed to get the rest of her things and followed her out. As the doors slammed shut, her carriage left instantly. And a wave of relief washed over me as I knew that my family would be left in peace.

I turned around to face Mother and James. But instead of gratitude, James scowled at me.

“How could you do that to her? She is your aunt. No matter how disrespected and ridiculous she is, she is your relative and should be respected,” he scolded me right away.

I rolled my eyes as I chuckled. “Thank you for showing your appreciation,” I remarked as I walked past them, bumping into James’ shoulder.

“Son, please,” Mother intervened as I went up the grand staircase. I didn’t bother to turn around as I didn’t want to have an argument with James.

I stood up for them and this was how he thanked me? Was this his method of expressing his gratitude? If so, that said a lot about the motive behind his actions.

It was finally time for dinner.

Gonzalo told me that my family requested my presence in the dining hall tonight. But I declined. After what James did, I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to spoil Mother and Elizabeth’s dinner because of him. At the same time, I also didn’t have the appetite to eat at the moment.

Suddenly, someone knocked on my door. “Whoever it is, let me be,” I answered as I adjusted myself underneath my blanket.

Amidst my protest to accept anyone, the door opened anyways. I looked and it was Elizabeth. “Can I come in?” she asked as she peeked her head.

I groaned. “I kindly asked to be left alone,” I replied as I laid down, covering my face with a pillow. As I turned my back on her, I felt her beside me.

“Come now, little one,” she said as she removed the pillow. I winced at the sudden light onto my face. “Come and join us for dinner. Mother is still waiting for you to arrive,” Elizabeth continued.

“I do not wish to see James right now. And I don’t want to eat anything,” I said with my back still turned.

Elizabeth sighed. “I know what happened a while ago. You shouldn’t allow something such as that to interfere with your growing relationship with James,” she said.

“I thought,” I sighed briefly, “I actually thought that everything was improving between James and I. But today, we returned right where we started. And I don’t see any reason as to why I should keep trying,” I continued.

Slowly, she turned me around to face her. “Do not give up on him, Robert,” replied Elizabeth.

“Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn’t?”

Elizabeth said nothing. She stared at me as she was clearly trying to persuade me with her gaze. However, when she realised that I wouldn’t reconsider, she finally gave up. Her shoulders fell along with another sigh. “It is best that you think about it for some time,” she remarked before she kissed me on the forehead. And with that, she left my room.

The moment she was gone, I sat up and groaned as I buried my head into my hands. I was past the point of being too overwhelmed. Too much emotions and thoughts, hidden inside me. And no one in this castle was willing to take my side. And it has come to the point where hiding it from everybody was too exhausting. Everyone would always defend James and why should I give more chances.

But, what about me? What about my feelings? What about the weight that was put on my shoulders?

I raised my head and looked around my room, hoping that there was something to distract me. My eyes landed on my writing desk, which sat beside the window. I removed the blanket from my legs and headed to it.

To my delight, it still had the paper and quill that I left when I wrote a letter to Laura. I sat down and drew Laura to pass the time.

A smile escaped my lips as I remembered every detail of her. From her lush, long hair, her soft skin and then, her dazzling smile. I simply allowed the quill to take over. In a world where I felt nothing but isolation, a brief moment with Laura - even just with the thought of her - was enough to change my entire mood.

She was the one who listened to my woes without fail. She gave her unbiased opinion over anything, which was something that I needed. She wasn’t quick to judge others, based on simple appearances or actions. That was a breath of fresh air because in this castle, everyone was expected to follow the Crown and the Crown alone.

In the midst of my creation, I turned to my right, only to be frightened by Gonzalo’s sudden appearance. “Oh!” I jumped from my seat. “Gonzalo,” I panted, with my hand on my chest, “It’s just you. You gave me such a fright.”

His brows furrowed, seemingly taken aback from my reaction. “I didn’t know you are easily startled, Your Highness,” he remarked.

I took a deep breath in before I cleared my throat. “Well, who wouldn’t be startled by your unannounced entry, Gonzalo?” I replied as I straightened myself. “You would have been punched - or worse, killed - if you did that to somebody else,” I continued.

“Have I interrupted anything, Your Highness?” he asked. Slowly, he leaned onto the table and added, “You seem to be drawing… a woman.”

“Oh, this?” I smiled as I pointed at the portrait. “I am making this for a friend. I mentioned that I wanted to practise my drawing and painting skills. She offered to be my muse,” I lied as I proceeded to draw. I silently hoped that my excuse was enough to be believed.

“I must say, Your Highness, your creation is indeed breath-taking. Very detailed,” Gonzalo remarked. “It’s almost as if… you have been staring at her, long enough for you to memorise even the smallest features of her.”

I scoffed as I folded the paper. “Do not be ridiculous, Gonzalo,” I said as I slid the paper into my pocket. “I continued, “Nobody just stares at someone just so they can draw them.” I tapped his shoulder before I headed back to my bed.

As I prepared myself for sleep, Gonzalo followed closely behind me. “Your Highness, I am aware that it is not my place to say this,” he said which made me turn around. “Whatever it is that you’ve been doing, wherever it is that you’ve been going, it must end once and for all,” he continued.

“I don’t understand where this is coming from,” my brows furrowed as I put the blanket down. “But I don’t recall doing anything that can jeopardise my family’s reputation,” I added as I put my hands behind my back.

“Your frequent visits to the Mortal Realm has been suspicious, Your Highness. The servants have been whispering about it and I had to remind them not to speak about it in the presence of Their Majesties,” Gonzalo explained. “It has caused a lot of gossip within our halls and it can turn into quite a scandal if you don’t do anything about it.”

I rolled my eyes before I answered, “Gonzalo, you know how the servants are, especially the maids. They will blow everything out of proportion. They can gossip all they want but what I do in the Mortal Realm is nothing but a stroll. And it is none of their business.” I continued, “Besides, shouldn’t have they been reprimanded for that? I thought they already learned their lesson from the previous incident.”

“Forgive me, Your Highness,” he briefly bowed his head, “But I cannot control their mouths. The best thing we can do is to avoid giving them something to speak about. And in your case, it’s the Mortal Realm.”

“Gonzalo, I assure you that nothing I do in the Mortal Realm will cause harm to our kingdom,” I said as I looked directly at him. “Should you hear the maids speak about it, you have my permission to put them in the dungeons as punishment.”

“But Your Highness--”

“Gonzalo,” I said as I blocked his protests. I understood Gonzalo’s concern. His worry was in the right place. That was the reason why I did everything within my power to prevent anyone from discovering Laura’s existence. That was why I put on the facade of an ordinary traveller whenever I visited her and the bakery.

Laura has become a part of my life. I couldn’t just abandon her just like that. We have already been separated too many times. We have been through so much and I swore to never let her go this time. Yes, to be associated with a mortal was already too big of a sin. But I never did anything beyond that. I never paraded my relationship with her within the court. Because I was made aware of how scandalous that would be.

My only wish was to be with Laura, even though it was to be in secret. To remove her from my life was never an option from the moment we became invested with one another.

Gonzalo simply nodded in agreement. He then bowed and headed out of the room.

I then laid down on my bed and as soon as I pulled up the sheets, my eyes slowly shut.

I slowly opened my eyes as I woke up from my slumber.

I turned to the window and it was still dark outside. The moon was at its peak. And the immediate thought was to see Laura right now.

I threw my blanket off of me and carefully prepared myself for what I was about to do. With one final look in the mirror, I grabbed a scarf and headed to the door. With caution, I opened the door and peaked my head out as I checked if anyone was still awake.

During this time, it would either be Gonzalo or James who did the nightly rounds. And before I locked myself in, I ordered my page and guards to take the night off from their duties. They were hesitant at first. But ultimately, they agreed after a long time of persuasion.

Seeing that there was nobody around, I tiptoed out of my room and carefully closed the door. I then walked as quick and silent as I could be. I wouldn’t want to be caught by someone who was doing their nightly rounds.

As I arrived in the kitchen, I headed to a nearby cupboard and searched for a candle.

I lit it up and grabbed a basket from the side. I then shoved all sorts of food in it. From random fruits, even a piece of a pie that was left from dinner.

I was close to finishing the preparations when a voice spoke behind me. “Robert?”