III. The Impact of Her

I closed my eyes as I gave myself a moment to prepare.

I took a deep breath and slowly faced him.

‘That was a good way to greet someone who has been your family for years,’ I thought to myself.

I asked, “Is that your new manner of greeting a long-time friend and confidant, Benjamin?” With a few steps forward, I continued, “Is that how you treat your brother now?”

Gonzalo scoffed as he raised a brow at me. “Brother? Brother?! You call yourself my brother after you betrayed me?!” he ranted even more as he walked towards me. Gonzalo kept him in arms’ reach as he followed behind Benjamin. “You took everything from me! You are the reason why she rejected me!”

Gonzalo’s eyes widened as he heard Benjamin’s complaints. It just gave further confirmation as to what Gonzalo had already suspected: that I met a woman in the Mortal Realm and she was the reason for my frequent visits. From utter shock, Gonzalo slowly shifted to furious.

I sighed and replied, “Benjamin, I never did anything to influence her choices. I didn’t tell her and I didn’t force her to choose me instead of you. Must I remind you that I supported you amidst my own heartbreak?” I took a few stops but I still kept my distance. I continued, “I encouraged her to choose you. You, Benjamin. Even though it was a sight that broke me, I told her to give you a chance. Instead of competing with you, instead of fighting for her, I chose to be the brother that you needed. And you have the nerve to accuse me of betrayal?!”

“You did betray me,” Benjamin growled as he moved closer. Our faces were now inches away from one another. “If you had any conscience, you would never have made contact with her. I had a chance, Robert! I had a chance but you,” he pointed at my face, “You just had to ruin everything!”

“I met her first, Benjamin! I loved her first!” I screamed at his face as I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. I continued, “I knew someone else was fighting for her affections! But I never expected for that man to be you because she never told me anything! All she said is there was another man. But she said she was not interested in that man.”

“You can say that because you don’t know how I feel!” Benjamin shouted as he pushed me. Gonzalo immediately held him back by the arms. But Benjamin was strong enough to push Gonzalo off of him.

Benjamin then sprinted towards me and grabbed me by the collar. “You don’t know how I feel because you never felt this way before! You are not the one who watched the love of your life, choose the person that you trusted the most! You don’t understand!” He then swung a punch at me, which made me fall to the ground.

As soon as I hit the floor with a loud thud, my guards rushed into my room. They helped Gonzalo hold Benjamin back. Gonzalo quickly pinned Benjamin’s hands behind him. The guards stood in front of him and placed their hands on his chest in an attempt to stop him.

I stood up and wiped the blood that came from my mouth. I stared at him as I caught up with my breathing. “How dare you assume that I don’t understand you?” I gritted. I continued, “The audacity that you have to accuse me when you were the one who did exactly that? How dare you!”

Stunned, Benjamin’s eyes widened as it watered.

“When you knelt in front of Laura,” I took slow steps towards him, “That image tore me to pieces. And do you want to know why?” I asked.

Benjamin stood silent as he stared at me. Our eyes never left each other as I got closer to him.

I stood immensely close to him. My face met his once again as I continued, “It was because the woman that I loved was pursued by another man. And that man was the brother that I loved the most. I had to make a choice and who did I choose? Tell me, Benjamin. Who did I choose? WHO?”

A tear ran down his face as Benjamin turned away from my gaze. Silently, he sobbed.

“I chose you, Benjamin! I. CHOSE. YOU,” I scolded him as I poked his chest.

Once Benjamin was in a calmer state, Gonzalo handed him over to the guards. He then walked over to me and held me by my arm and shoulder.

I cried out, “I chose you because you are my brother and I didn’t want anything to come in between us! I was hurt! But because you were much more important to me than my own feelings, I gave up Laura for your happiness!” I turned around and took a few deep breaths.

The room stood silent for a while. The only sounds that could be heard were our muffled cries and staggered breathing. The atmosphere within the room got heavier.

Gonzalo kept his hold on me whilst the guards loosened their grips on Benjamin.

Once I regained my composure, I returned to Benjamin and added, “How can I betray you, Benjamin? In what way did I betray you?”

Still, Benjamin refused to look at me. He wept silently as he kept his face away from my sight.

“I chose my brother instead of fighting for the woman that I love,” my voice cracked as I spoke, my hands were now on my waist. I continued, “And now, the person that I stood by has accused me of betrayal. I didn’t betray you, Benjamin. If anything, you were the one who betrayed me because of this.”

Those words stung my heart as they escaped my lips. Never in my life had I imagined that Benjamin would hurt me like this. He was one of the few whom I expected that would never hurt me.

‘Alas, here we are,’ I thought to myself.

Once more, I turned around and headed to the window. As soon as I turned my back on him, my tears finally fell. And as footsteps left my chambers, I fell to the ground ang Gonzalo rushed towards me. Right then and there, I knew that our friendship - our bond - was destroyed because of love.

‘I lost my brother for the sake of love,’ I thought to myself. ‘I chose him out of love. And it is because of love that he was taken.’

Gonzalo leaned towards me. His hands sat firmly on his knees and asked, “Would you like something to drink, Your Highness?”

I shook my head as I took a deep breath. I wiped my tears and replied, “You may take some rest, Gonzalo. That was a lot to handle.”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything, Your Highness?” he asked once again.

“Yes, Gonzalo,” I said as he helped me get back on my feet. “I would like to be alone for a while,” I continued as my lips turned into a firm line.

“As you wish, Your Highness,” he bowed. Right as he turned around, the trumpets outside played their welcoming fanfare. My family has returned from their visit. Gonzalo turned back to me and waited for my orders.

I groaned as I fell onto my chair. I slouched as I was still exhausted from the entire fiasco with Benjamin. Now, I had to face my family in this state.

“With Your Highness’ permission,” Gonzalo said as he took careful steps towards me, “I can inform Their Majesties that you are still asleep. You can have more rest. You can entrust the explanation to me,” he suggested.

I sighed as my hands dropped onto my thighs. “That will not be necessary,” I replied as I stood from my chair. I continued, “If anyone should explain Benjamin’s unexpected visit into this kingdom, that must be me.”

Gonzalo nodded. “I will go ahead and welcome the royal family. I shall return here if His Majesty asks of you.”

“No, Gonzalo,” I shook my head,” We shall go together.”

My family was already welcomed by the guards and Nana Olsa as we walked down the grand staircase.

“Did we have any visitors while we were away?” James enquired as he handed his coat to a maid.

“Prince Benjamin paid a visit, Your Majesty,” Nana replied without hesitation.

I immediately looked at Gonzalo and we shared a horrified stare.

“Is that so? Why was he here?” Mother asked as she entered the conversation. “He should have waited for us.”

“Benjamin couldn’t afford to wait, unfortunately,” I spoke up as I quickened my pace towards them. They all turned to my direction as I continued, “He said he still has matters to attend to. Also, good morning,” I smiled as I hugged Mother and then, Elizabeth. I glanced over to Gonzalo and raised my brows.

Gonzalo nodded briefly as he understood what I hinted on. With his hands behind him, he stood beside Nana Olsa.

“Where were you, Robert?” James asked as he approached me. Whilst he fixed his sleeves, he continued, “When the servants checked your room, you weren’t there.”

“I woke up early today. I went to Lady’s grave and had a simple picnic with her,” I replied.

“You could have told us that last night. Or you could have woken us up this morning. We were so worried about you,” said James.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” I lowered my head. I explained, “I only thought of that this morning. And I didn’t want to disturb the peace of the castle. That would have been rude of me.”

“You must never think in such a manner, Robert,” James replied as he held onto my arm. He continued, “Your whereabouts are always important, as well as your safety. You are the future ruler of this kingdom. Your life must be preserved.”

Just when I thought he was concerned for me as a father, James had to remind me why I needed to be safe. I was gone for a long while, in the middle of the night, and the security of succession ruled prevalent in his mind.

Well, at the very least, James worried for my safety. That was better than nothing at all.

“Now, how about you join us for tea?” James asked with a smile as his hand retreated. “It is a good day to be with the family.”

“I would love to. However, I wish to find a new champion today. I didn’t want to replace Lady right after she passed. But I cannot be without a horse,” I replied.

James asked, “Can I accompany you?” He sounded very hopeful that I would agree.

“Thank you, Your Majesty but that will not be necessary,” I smiled firmly. “I must do this on my own. To choose a new champion is something personal for me,” I explained.

“Will you be back for lunch, then?” Elizabeth asked.

Her eyes were even more hopeful than James’. I turned to both him and Mother and they all carried the same expression in their eyes.

Outnumbered, I sighed and nodded lightly.

“Perfect!” Mother squealed as she walked towards me. “I will have the servants prepare a grand meal for all of us.”

I smiled and nodded briefly. “I shall see you all later,” I replied. I gave my bow and headed to the stables.