If We Ever Meet Again (If Love Book 1)

You can do this. You’re Blake Ryan. Girls do not scare you.

Blake paced his room, his pulse thrumming with anticipation. His stomach churned, and he couldn’t tell whether he was excited or about to be sick.

Probably a bit of both.

Blake had done a lot of scary shit in his life. He’d gotten up in front of a hundred cameras and told the world he was quitting football. He’d flown halfway across the world to spend a year in a country where he didn’t know the language or the culture. He was preparing to open his own sports bar even though he had zero experience running anything resembling a business (thank god for Google). In fact, he finished his first real-life business plan the other day. Market analysis, marketing plan, operating plan, financial plan, management plan…all done.

But he’d never once told a girl he loved her—and meant it. He said it to Cleo, more out of obligation than anything else, and the words tasted like cardboard. Empty and meaningless. Now, those same words burned inside him, screaming to get out.

Blake almost said it to Farrah the night she told him she was ready to lose her virginity. But then, well, that happened. Blake wasn’t upset—though he’d be lying if he said his ego didn’t take a hit—but the timing was off. He hadn’t worked up the courage to tell her to her face again.

In his mind? Yes, a million times. Every time he looked at her, saw her smile, heard her voice, felt the heat of her skin against his, he wondered how he’d survived without her. Twenty-one years of not knowing she existed only to have her turn his world upside down in three months. Yet in those three months, he’d lived more and loved harder than he had in the years preceding them.

There was an entire world outside Texas, and Blake was only now getting a taste of it.

“Don’t be a pussy.” Blake continued to pace, giving himself a pep talk like a crazy person. Thank god he didn’t have a roommate. If someone walked in on him like this, they’d have him committed. “There’s only three weeks left in the semester. After that, you won’t see Farrah again until late next January.”

He stared at the elephant figurine Farrah gifted him after she returned from Thailand. Blake Jr. stared back, positively dripping judgment. Tell her already, you idiot, it screamed.

Great. Now Blake was hearing voices from inanimate objects. He needed to get out of here before he really did go crazy.

“You got this,” he muttered under his breath as he barreled down the hall, nearly bowling Nardo over in the process.

“Where’s the fire?” Nardo yelled.

Blake ignored him. He stopped in front of Farrah’s room. He couldn’t breathe.

Was this a good idea? Probably not. But what the hell. As Drake said, YO fucking LO.

After a final moment of hesitation, Blake rapped his knuckles on the door.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Farrah opened the door. She was wearing her adorable sheep pajamas and one of those goopy white masks that made girls look like horror movie extras.

“Hey.” Surprise flared in her eyes. “Is everything all right?”

Blake’s mind blanked. The speech he’d rehearsed, gone. His ability to speak, gone.

All he could do was stare at Farrah, wishing the floor would swallow him whole.

Concern replaced surprise. “Do you need to—”

“I love you.” The words rolled off his tongue, sweet and rich like honey. It wasn’t how he pictured this going. He had a whole flowery speech lined up (thanks to those rom coms Farrah forced him to watch) before he dropped the L bomb. But heck, it was already out there. There was no going back now.

The rest of Blake’s confession tumbled off his lips, like they were scared they wouldn’t get the chance to see the light of day if they waited too long. “I didn’t expect it or even want it, but it happened. If I’m being honest, it happened a while ago, and I’m only now getting the courage to tell you. You said once every second counts, and I don’t want another second to go by without you knowing that I am totally, completely, one hundred percent in love with you.”

Farrah stilled.

The next minute stretched on for eternity.

Silence wasn’t rejection, but he was going to be sick if Farrah didn’t say something soon.

Someone cleared their throat.

A girl with green-streaked hair appeared behind Farrah’s shoulder. It took Blake a second to identify her as Farrah’s roommate Janice—and to realize she’d heard every word he said.

Fuck.

“Er, I’m going to the library.” Janice looked like she was trying not to laugh. “I won’t be back for a while, so, yeah.”

She was definitely trying not to laugh.

Good luck, she mouthed as she slipped past Farrah into the hall.

Blake’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. Luckily (or not), he didn’t have to dwell on this humiliating turn of events long.

“Um.”

Not the first word Blake wanted to hear after his confession.

“I’m sorry. I need to—” Farrah stepped aside. “Come in.”

He did, even though he wanted to run away. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what Farrah had to say.

You idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot. He should’ve kept his mouth shut. At least then, he could’ve held onto the hope that Farrah felt the same way about him as he did her.

Ignorance, as they say, is bliss.

“I need to take this off.” Farrah peeled off her mask and tossed it in the trash. Her skin gleamed beneath the lights. “I don’t know what to say.”

His chest went hollow. “You don’t have to say anything.” Blake forced a smile and tried to convince himself he wasn’t dying inside.

“No. I want to.” Farrah fiddled with her necklace. “When I met you, I told myself I wasn’t going to fall for you.”

Jesus. Her words cut like a surgical knife through Blake’s heart.

“I understand.” He needed to get out of here. “I’m supposed to meet Luke for dinner so I’ll—”

“But I did.”

He couldn’t stay here a minute longer. He needed to go—wait, what?

Blake’s head snapped up. “What did you say?”

“I did fall in love with you.” Farrah’s eyes glowed with emotion. She clutched her necklace until her knuckles turned white. “That place you’re at now? I’m right there with you. It scares the crap out of me, which is funny because I’ve always considered myself a romantic. You know, I love reading and watching romances and when I was in middle school, I read all these bridal magazines and dreamt about falling in love and getting married one day. Not that I’m expecting us to get married because obviously it’s way too soon—I mean, if it happens at all—but this is the first time I’ve been in love and I didn’t expect to feel this way and—”

“Farrah.” Blake closed the gap between them until he could count every lash rimming those beautiful eyes.

“I’m not sure if this is normal and sorry I’m rambling, I don’t even know what I’m—”

“Farrah, shut up so I can kiss you.”

She shut up.

Blake gently pried her hand off her necklace and tangled his fingers with hers before he captured her mouth with his. What started as an innocent kiss, an exploration of this new stage in their relationship, quickly heated up until Blake’s entire body was on fire. His nerve endings thrummed as Farrah swept her tongue between his lips, tasting and teasing.

He was so lost in the heat and taste of her he didn’t notice they’d moved until Farrah pushed him onto her bed and straddled him.

Blake’s jeans constricted painfully.

Her hair brushed his chest as she hovered over him, cheeks flushed, mouth swollen, looking for all the world like she’d stepped out of a dream. His dream.

“I love you,” she said. Each word came out slowly and carefully, like she was testing them out.

Blake brushed his thumb over Farrah’s cheek. Her skin was soft and warm against his. His gaze caressed her face, lingering on the delicate curve of her jaw, the gentle slope of her nose, the tiny mole above her right eyebrow, and the sweep of black lashes framing her deep chocolate eyes.

“I love you too.”

He flipped them over until he was the one hovering over her. “Let’s try an experiment.”

Farrah’s brow furrowed. “What kind of experiment?”

“This.” Blake brushed his lips over hers and reached down to caress her, reveling in her sharp intake of breath as he explored her most intimate folds.

They’d tried multiple times to bring Farrah over the finish line, to no avail. She got close during their last attempt, but no dice. It was a blow (no pun intended) to Blake’s pride. When a girl RSVPed yes, he made sure they came. Always. It was a Blake Ryan hallmark. The fact he couldn’t do that for Farrah galled him to no end.

But for once, his pride wasn’t the most important thing.

Blake kept his gaze on Farrah’s face, taking his cues from her reactions—the way her eyelids fluttered and lips parted when he rubbed his thumb over her clit, the way she arched when he slipped a finger inside her warmth—until his fingers were slick with her juices.

Then he guided Farrah’s hand down to replace his own. He sat back.

Her eyes flew open. “Wha—”

“Touch yourself for me.”

Farrah’s cheeks turned the color of ripe tomatoes. “I can’t.”

“You can. You said you can come when you do it on your own.” Blake ran his thumb over the soft skin of Farrah’s inner thigh. “Show me.”

In his football days, Blake followed a simple learning method: 1) Watch how the pros do it 2) Do it yourself 3) Keep going until you do it well 4) Add your own flair until you do it better.

The method won him two Heismans and three national championships. A girl’s body was more complicated than a football play, but the principle was the same. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t made the connection earlier.

Farrah shook her head. “I need to be alone when I do it.”

“Why?”

“Because.” She faltered. “I guess I’m more relaxed when I’m alone.”

“Do you trust me?”

Farrah swallowed, her eyes bright. “Yes.” It came out as a whisper.

Blake released the air from his lungs. “Close your eyes.”

Another swallow. Her eyes fluttered closed.

Farrah’s initial touch was hesitant. She stroked herself like it was the first time, but eventually, her body arched and her breath came out in sexy little pants as she brought herself to the brink of orgasm.

Lust poured through his veins, burning him with its intensity. Blake curled his hands into fists and willed his body to stay in control.

Farrah groaned and tore her hands away from her body. She opened her eyes. “I can’t.” Frustration wracked her voice. “I can’t do it with you watching. It’s embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” Blake was stunned. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and I look at myself in the mirror every day.”

Farrah choked out a laugh. “What a compliment.”

“It’s not a compliment. It’s the truth. I could watch you forever.” Because I want to be with you forever. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them. “You don’t have to be embarrassed around me. Ever. Not even if you’re, I dunno, listening to Nickelback.”

“I like Nickelback.”

Blake tried to conceal his horror.

Farrah giggled. “Kidding. You should’ve seen the look on your face.”

“Thank god. See? If I don’t judge you for that, I won’t judge you for anything.”

“I know.” She blew out a breath. “I don’t know why this is so hard. I have no problem when I’m alone.”

“Would it help if I went first?”

Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. “What?”

“You’re embarrassed to touch yourself in front of me. What if I did it first?” Blake reached down and grasped his shaft. He kept his gaze on hers as he slid his hand over his length, rock-hard and throbbing from Farrah’s show.

Farrah’s lips parted. Her eyes darted down, up, and down again. They stayed there.

Meanwhile, Blake ran his gaze over her face and body. It glistened with a faint sheen of sweat from her earlier exertions. Her hair was tousled and her lips swollen. He remembered how he felt between those lips, remembered the warmth of her breath against his skin and the way her soft curves molded against his.

His breath quickened. He increased his pace until his head fell back, and he came with a roar. Then Farrah was there, enveloping him in the warmth of her mouth, and he came harder, gripping her hair for dear life as she milked every last drop from him.

Once they finished, he collapsed against the wall, ears ringing from the intensity of his orgasm.

Farrah licked her lips. Her eyes were bright with arousal. “That was amazing.”

“Not embarrassing?”

She shook her head.

“That’s how I feel when I’m watching you. Except more so because guys are horny bastards.”

Case in point: Blake hardened again. When it came to Farrah, he was insatiable.

“Good.” Farrah eased herself back into her previous position. “Let’s try this again.”