Icejacked

Tour Two

Good grief! She’s here already! Julie Bright, large as life, was sitting with Leddicus and scanning the menu.

I was feeling a tad groggy. Maybe a little too much wine while I worked, so I was not as alert or good humoured as usual. I was not in the mood to be sociable before I even had my first coffee.

“Good morning!” they said in unison.

I pulled up a chair and mumbled something incoherent at them. They smiled at each other with a hint of conspiracy. I poured some coffee and drank half a cup before I spoke.

“You’re here already,” I said to Julie

Julie nodded and smiled her broad, perfect smile. Her blonde hair was scooped up, framing her flawless elfin-shaped face. She was casually dressed in faded jeans and a simple black T-shirt.

“I hear it is a big city, so we have to get started early. Julie promised to introduce me to a full English whatever that is.”

What the heck. If you can’t beat them, join them, and it’s a good hangover cure.

“I’ll go for that, too, and then I won’t need to eat for the rest of the day.” I poured another large coffee and held it in both hands to comfort and steady me.

Two huge English breakfasts were soon placed on the table. Julie didn’t indulge and settled instead for healthy fresh fruit. Leddicus’s eyes widened at the plate of food.

“Wow! What is all this? I know that’s toast.” He dumped a large dollop of marmalade in the middle of the plate. “What’s so funny?” He looked up at Julie, who was laughing at his choice of condiment.

“Welcome to a full English. Sausage, bacon, eggs, mushrooms, beans, tomatoes, fried bread.” I pointed at each item on his plate with my fork. “But I’m not going into more detail. I’m suddenly ravenous.”

The food was delicious, and I surprised myself by clearing my plate. I began to feel more normal as the food mopped up the alcohol.

“What’s the plan then? You pair have obviously been plotting.”

“Well,” she said, “I’m driving us down the North Circular to the nearest Tube station. Then we can head into Leicester Square and walk to and down the Mall to . Maybe you would like to go to the ?”

“Palace? We’re going to a palace?” asked Leddicus.

“Two actually. One where the queen lives, and the other where our government meets. It’s also called the House of Commons and Parliament.”

“Let’s not get bogged down in explanations this early. We can fill in the details as we go.” I finished my second coffee. I clapped my hands and jumped up, suddenly wide awake as the caffeine kicked in. “Come on, you slackers. Let’s move.”

I signed the bill, and we were ready to go.

“We need to fit a meeting with Joe into our schedule,” Julie said as we headed out through reception. “I’ve already spoken to him, and he can fit us in around lunchtime. Will that be okay?”

I nodded. Let’s get this thing sewn up. I hoped the tour would be a better experience for Leddicus. He was certainly in a much better mood. I was not quite sure why. Perhaps because it was not Rome. Or it was a place he had never been. Or, most likely, it was the Julie factor.

We parked and headed into the Tube station.

“I’ve got us some oysters,” she announced

“I’m still full from the English, but I can always eat an oyster,” Leddicus responded.

Julie giggled. “No, not the edible kind. These.” She handed us each a blue plastic wallet with the word “Oyster” emblazoned on the front. “These are very handy and cheap for Tube travel. Watch and learn.”

“I don’t think I want to eat this.” Leddicus turned it over. A slight smirk was on his face.

Julie marched toward the barriers and patted her Oyster wallet on the round yellow pad. The barriers obediently snapped open. Leddicus trotted swiftly after her, but the barrier snapped back and clouted him in the groin.

“The pad, Leddicus. Hit the pad.” Julie pointed.

So hit it he did. We heard a resounding clunk, and he joined her in the seething melee of people. I brought up the rear, and we stepped onto the packed escalator.

A grumpy commuter snapped at us. “Right! Keep to the right!” He barked as he pushed past and ran down the stairs.

We meekly obeyed, and the long escalator trundled us down, down, down. Leddicus looked across at the opposite escalator, and his mouth fell open as he watched everyone rising upward. He looked back at me. His mouth opened and closed. Trying to get the words out, he was goggle-eyed.

“They are flying! How? What? How can that be?”

It was too noisy to give him a proper explanation, so I pointed to our escalator and then briefly explained that they weren’t flying. There was another escalator opposite us, doing the reverse of the one we were on, taking people up instead of down. All the way down, his mouth stayed in a small surprised circle. His chocolate button eyes remained glued to the crowded escalator opposite.

We reached the bottom, and Julie scurried into the rabbit warren with us pounding after her. She stopped occasionally to glance at the maps on the wall. It was so crammed with people that I kept a close eye on Leddicus. I didn’t want us getting separated. I did wonder why Julie was in such a rush. I was sure she was hyperactive!

We got to the platform just as a Tube pulled in. The doors opened, and people flooded out, jostling to get through the waiting crowds. We could only just squeeze into the packed carriage before it hurtled into the tunnel.

“Wow, so hot, so busy.”

“Perhaps it was not a good idea to catch the tail end of rush hour,” Julie said over the clattering din.

“What’s rush hour?” said Leddicus.

“The hour when everyone rushes to work.”

We stepped out into the fresh air in and paused to catch our breath.

“That was amazing, so amazing!” Leddicus gabbled. “And I thought our festival markets were busy.”

Julie smiled. “It’s mad, isn’t it? But so quick. It’s a Tube, a train that goes underground. There are trains that go above ground, too.”

“How did you know where to go?” he asked.

She pulled a Tube map out of her pocket and handed it to him. “All the Tube lines are colour-coded. You decide where you want to go and see which line the station is on.”

“How come all the tracks are so straight? The Romans must have built them!”

We laughed at his candor.

Julie explained, “Not quite. The Romans were long gone by the time the Tube was built. A guy called Harry Beck drew up simple maps at the beginning of the last century, ironing out all the wiggles.” Leddicus, obviously impressed, handed the map back.

So many concepts, new ideas, and strange technology constantly bombarding him. It’s a good job he is so laid back, or it could send him mad.

“Let’s get across the road. I want us to get on one of those.” She pointed to a topless bus with a huge union jack painted on the side.

We settled into our seats and relaxed. The tour guide described all the points of interest as we drove slowly through the heavy traffic. Leddicus craned his head over the side and listened intently. Julie helped by adding a comment here and there. I could tell it was going to be a good day. I let out a sigh of contentment. After forty-five minutes, we hopped off the bus and onto a boat for a trip down the . Leddicus was as happy as a kid in a sandpit.

As we got off the boat, we decided to take a black cab to for our meeting with Joe Simmons. Leddicus was pleased about everything today, even by the spaciousness of the back of the taxi.

“This is like a Roman chariot. And he …” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Drives like a charioteer who is late for the battle!”

We stepped out of the cab, and Leddicus caught his breath, dazzled by the array of electronic advertising that enveloped the area. I wished I had brought my camera to catch his expression. He was so bowled over he couldn’t speak. He just stood staring with his mouth wide open. Julie and I grinned at each other,

“I wonder if this is what is like to have a kid,” she said to me.

“We’ll come back tonight,” I said to Leddicus. “It’s even better then.”

Joe’s office was just off , at the bottom of . It was small but classically expensive. Joe had all the paperwork ready, neatly contained in a smart folder with a subtle corporate insignia on the top left.

“It’s all as we discussed. I’m here until three thirty. It would be good if we can get this signed off today.”

I shook his hand. “Thanks for turning this round so quickly. We’re going to have a working lunch to go through it. Then we’ll come back to sort out the signatures.”

“Great. I’ll see you later.” He buzzed through to his secretary, “Lisa, please send in my next appointment.”

We found a table in Prezzo’s. While we waited for the pizzas to arrive, we started reading through the contracts.

“You were right about Joe. He knows his stuff. I’m impressed.” And I was. Even though I had many doubts and misgivings about Julie, she had certainly come up trumps by introducing me to Joe.

Julie sipped at some iced water, and the food arrived.

“Mmm, this looks even better than I hoped,” I said.

I sliced up the pizza and ate with my fingers so I could keep reading. I was careful not to splodge the paperwork with tomato sauce. Alongside the venue details, there were contact names, numbers, and e-mails, but these were only backup contacts. Joe’s office would be doing all the follow up, the reminding, the chasing. The tour sessions he had arranged were based on the format of me introducing Leddicus and giving the background and other pertinent details for thirty minutes. Joe suggested this be done using PowerPoint and offered help in its compilation. After that, the session would be handed over to Leddicus for questions, with a wrap-up session from me. Each session would probably last roughly ninety minutes. Most of the venues were universities or colleges with one exception. In , we were booked into a Roman Catholic seminary for priests. I was unsure what to make of that one.

I was still amazed at the booking costs that covered expenses and accommodation. There appeared to be more money out there than I had ever imagined. With Joe’s office taking care of all the details this meant I would only need to concentrate on keeping Leddicus fit and healthy and making sure we were both well prepared. The tour commenced on Monday of the following week, so not much time was left for fun and relaxation. The latter part of the contract detailed all the financial arrangements. It was all as we agreed the previous evening. He was very thorough. Joe was also working on plugging the gaps with more bookings for the vacant dates, plus dealing with the accounting side, income, and payments that would be channeled through his offices.

Once we were all satisfied with what we had read, we headed back to Joe’s office and spent a while with him getting more information on practicalities including weekly allowance, bank details, and mobile numbers. Finally, we signed and headed back out to grab a little more sightseeing while it was still light. It was all happening so quickly.

Will this make me famous? I hope so. Will it make me rich? Perhaps not, but I will not need to worry about finance for a few weeks.

We caught the Tube to , took a tour of Parliament, and then joined the long queue to see the crown jewels in the tower. It was getting dark so we headed back to Piccadilly. Although I was beginning to get weary, I wanted to keep my promise.

Leddicus stood gazing around, absorbing the wonder that is Piccadilly Circus at night, until finally he announced.. “I’m hungry.”

“I’m in the mood for Chinese,” I said.

“That’s handy. I know an excellent buffet just off Leicester Square.” Julie said.

“What’s Chinese?” asked Leddicus.

“Another adventure for you in gastronomy.” He looked at me quizzically. “Food, new stuff you haven’t tasted before,” I said simply.

“Oh, good. I like trying new stuff.”

Neither Leddicus nor Julie seemed as weary as I was. At least if they were, they didn’t say so, but I was very pleased to take a seat once I had heaped my plate high at the buffet table.

It seemed to take forever to get back to the hotel, probably because I was now very tired and my feet ached.

Julie came in for coffee. “What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

Julie now just assumed that she should be included in everything we do. How did that happen? Before I knew it, she was reeling out suggestions. Leddicus’s eyes were alight with anticipation, and I was nodding reluctant agreement. Apparently, we were to visit some more sights in the centre and then take in a matinee. Julie assured me she could get some tickets.

Is there no end to her talents? I thought cynically.

“In the evening, would you like to go to the cinema?” she asked Leddicus.

I was sure she knew he had no idea what it was. I blurred over while she explained, and then she dropped her bombshell.

“On Saturday, I am wondering if you and Leddicus would like to come to church with me.”

I was suddenly wide awake and responded quickly, “No, we can’t fit that in. We need to prepare before we start touring.”

As always, she looked to Leddicus for a response.

“I’m not sure. I didn’t like the church in , but you did say that yours is different, so maybe I would like to go. If Gerhardt doesn’t want to come, perhaps you can take me?”

Back in the corner I go! I can never get control of the situation. Between them, Leddicus and Julie always call the shots. I am, once again, trapped.

“It’s not my scene, but I guess I can tag along. But why a Saturday?”

“I’ll explain later. I need to get going now. What about tomorrow? Early start?”

She is not going to win this time.

“No,” I said with finality. “I’m having a lie-in. Breakfast at ten tomorrow. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Thanks. That would be good.”

“You are coming tomorrow?” Leddicus said to Julie, grinning. The conversation was sometimes a bit too rapid for Leddicus, but he caught up eventually.

I had slept like a log and felt refreshed as Leddicus and I tucked into another full English.

“Where to first?” I said through a mouthful of sausage and beans.

I noted that, yet again, Julie was eating only fruit and cereal, undoubtedly how she maintained her slender figure.

“We must show Bridge. I checked the schedule, and it’s due to be opened today. I’ve managed to get tickets for Sister Act. It starts at two thirty. Then we could grab McDonald’s and head for the South Bank to see the Eye that’s amazing. Have you seen it?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Then we must take Leddicus to the IMAX. I’ve been once. It blew me away. I’ve booked Walking with Dinosaurs in 3-D!” She paused to nibble on a strawberry. “Does that sound okay?”

I shook my head.

“Oh!” Her excitement was evaporating.

“No, no, it’s all fine. I am just bemused at when you find time to sort this. Do you ever sleep?”

She smiled, relieved when she realised I was only teasing. “I sorted a lot of it out before you came, but no, I don’t sleep much.”

“And Walking with Dinosaurs? I have my doubts about that.”

“It’s got great reviews.” She sliced a sliver of melon and bit into it.

“Leddicus has just been catapulted into the future, and now you’re going to dunk him into the middle of the Jurassic era?”

“Oh, yes. Of course, sorry. Wasn’t thinking. Got a bit carried away. It is educational.” She tailed off. “Well, it’s booked now. If we are going to send him crazy, we might as well do it in style.”

Leddicus grinned at us. “I’m not crazy, although I feel like it sometimes.” He tapped his head. “All sound in here. I just go with the flow. Is the only way to stay sane.”

“Okay, my friend, on your head be it,” I said.

“He sounds like you.” Julie observed, which made me feel rather smug.

Julie had planned well, and the day sped by in a happy blur. Shortly after we left the theatre, Joe called to let me know about additional bookings. The first month had become so packed that he had decided to extend it to a second month. Booking requests were still coming in. I asked him not to run the tour beyond three months. I had it in the back of my mind that I ought to take Leddicus back home to Caesarea Philippi, if he were to be believed.

We arrived at the IMAX with little time to spare, got issued with our 3-D specs, and purchased the obligatory popcorn, Coke, and ice cream. Leddicus tucked in with gusto. Not long ago he had been polishing off a big Mac, and I was beginning to think I would have a rather sick young man or very old man on my hands before the film was halfway through.

The lights dimmed, and we donned our spectacles. I had never been to a 3-D film so the concept intrigued me. The screen was as high as five double-decker buses. Although almost impossible to do, I wanted to watch the film and Leddicus’s face. A huge, drooling Giganotosaurus lumbered across the Patagonian landscape and slowly turned his head in our direction. The sound of his feet pounded our ears as he stomped toward us. Full of menace, he bared his teeth, roared, and then lunged toward us with his mouth gaping. The 3-D effect brought him right up to our noses. Leddicus shrieked, threw up his hands to protect his face, scattering popcorn far and wide, and then jumped up out of his seat. Before I could stop him, he was scrambling for the exit, stumbling and tripping over people’s bags and coats. Julie and I leapt up and followed as quickly as we could in the dark.

We finally caught up with him, sitting on the carpet in the corridor, breathing heavily. Julie was stricken with remorse and kept apologising to me and then Leddicus and then me again.

I just laughed out loud. “Thought you said you could handle it, buddy!”

Leddicus, visibly shaking, stood up quickly. He brushed at his trousers and jacket.

“I dropped the popcorn,” he said forlornly.

We thought it wise not to venture back into the cinema. Instead, we found an upmarket restaurant where I teased Leddicus relentlessly and he took it on the chin. We also had a huge debate about dinosaurs while we introduced Leddicus to fine cuisine.

“Champagne anyone? I think we have a lot to celebrate.” I beckoned the waiter.

“Here’s to a successful tour!” I said as we clinked glasses.

“Here’s to never seeing another dinosaur,” said Leddicus.

Back at the hotel, I was heading for the stairs when Leddicus placed his hand on my arm. “Gerhardt, I have a favour to ask.”

“It’s late. Can’t it wait?” I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips when I saw his crestfallen face.

“Okay, it can wait.” He turned to go.

“No, I’m sorry. Come on. Let’s get a nightcap. The bar is still open, and you can tell me what you want.” I was tired, but a pang of guilt stabbed at me. Leddicus had never asked for a favour before.

The barman delivered us a glass of wine each. I took a sip and turned to Leddicus. “How can I help?”

“I feel bad to ask, but it’s important to me. I think from the meeting we had with Joe that I will be earning some money. At least that’s what Julie explained to me.”

“You will. You’ll get paid for speaking at the tour seminars.”

“Is it possible that I will earn enough money to buy a laptop?”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What on earth do you want one of those for?”

“I hope it will help my English, and Julie said there is something called e-mail. I think that’s what she called it. A letter that can magically go from one laptop to another.”

“It’s not exactly magic, but okay, if you want one, we’ll get you one, but I don’t quite know why you had to tell me that this last thing at night,” I said in mock sternness.

Leddicus grinned at me. “I want it quickly. I want to take it with me on the trip we are going on, and we haven’t much time before we leave. Do you think we can do that?”

“Not sure I can manage that, but I know a girl who can.”

I lay in bed staring into the darkness. The man filled with wonder at a light switch now wants a laptop. How times are changing.

***

Eduardo unhooked his car keys from the hall stand. His wife was already asleep in the quiet house. He wore black, well-tailored trousers and a black fitted shirt. It clung to his lean, large frame. The night air was still warm as he stepped out into the darkness. He opened the boot of his Mercedes CLS500, placed a large leather case into the voluminous space, closed the boot silently and slid into the driver’s seat.

He had only had the car a month, and its sleek lines still delighted him. He loved the smell of the leather seats. He eased out of the long driveway and turned the car toward the edge of . Very few people were on the streets this late at night. He drove for twenty minutes, and was eventually on the road which snaked way alongside the tree line. He slowed his speed and began scanning the road to the left for the turnoff. He spotted a small track barred by a gate, obscured by fir trees. He left the engine running as he pushed back the gate. Once he had driven through, he got out, checked the road in both directions, and closed the gate behind him.

Thick clouds were obscuring the moon. The headlights picked out deep ruts in the narrow track. He cursed as branches scraped at the sides of the car. He was jolted around even though he was driving very slowly.

The headlights highlighted a white van parked in a small clearing two hundred meters ahead. He killed the headlights, got out of the car, and waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. His contact was leaning against the van, smoking. He took the cigarette from between his lips and flicked it onto the floor. Then he walked toward the back of the van, opened the doors, and beckoned to Eduardo.

Eduardo opened the boot of the Mercedes and removed the large case. Then he joined the other man at the back of the van. He laid the case in the rear of the van and clicked it open.

“Excellent shipment. My boss is keen for a repeat, and he is willing to maintain the payment per unit. You have excelled in the smoothness of the operation.” He began stacking euros into the open case. Eduardo counted silently as each bundle was stowed away.

“Fifty, as agreed.” The man snapped shut the case and nodded at Eduardo.

“Can you keep the units coming?”

“I can, but not to order. It must be when I say. Any pressure from your boss and I will place the units elsewhere.”

The main scratched his dark, stubbled chin. “What do you mean? Pressure?” He lit another cigarette and held out the pack to Eduardo, who held up his hand in decline.

“I am making it clear at the outset. I have come to your organisation having withdrawn from my previous liaison due to heavy-handed tactics. This I will not tolerate. Requested units will be delivered, but I will have no truck with being told what and when.”

The glow of the cigarette hung in the dark air. The dim light from the back of the van cast deep shadows across the faces of both men.

“I will pass on the message, but rest assured that the boss doesn’t go in for bully boy tactics. If the units keep coming, then you will be well rewarded.”

The man reached into the back of the van and took out a small packet. “Use this phone to contact me when the next shipment is ready. E-mail, even encrypted, is causing some concern.”

Eduardo frowned. “Why? I’ve never had any problems. My system is very secure.”

“You’ll have to trust me on this one. There are strong forces out there who are opposed. Two shipments were recently intercepted. An irritating setback. The only conclusion we could reach is that the e-mails were hacked.”

“Right.” Eduardo dragged the heavy case out of the van and walked toward his car. The other man slammed the van doors shut and gunned up the engine.