I will be back

Aleida’s POV

After my hospitalization, everything is in total chaos. My mates, brothers, friends, well, everyone really is working hard to find the hybrid that hurt me and threatened me. I’ve repeatedly tried to explain to them that if he doesn’t want them to see him, they won’t find him either. That’s no information they take to heart; however, they wave it away like an annoying fly in the bedroom one early summer morning. I know King is going to come after me. The question is only when, where, and how. What I need to do now is to set up a tactic on how to tackle the problem once it comes. And since the men around me are idiots, I must do it on my own. At least my boys are safe and grow like weeds. The biting and peeing are a problem that affects us all, which they just giggle at. They’re too small to understand what they do anyway; you can’t get mad at them when they don’t understand better. Because my mates, brothers, and closest friends have stayed in my territory longer than they should, I now decide that it’s time for them to go home. I can’t exactly say they’re happy about it. But on the other hand, they have other things to take care of in their own territories. Our sons need to be safe, and since I’m the target, they aren’t if they stay here. Even though it hurts me that I must make this decision, I can’t just think about myself; it isn’t morally right. We now sit together in the dining room and have breakfast together for the last time in a while. No one knows how great a threat we must face, and therefore we can’t travel anywhere at any time. The safety of our pack members and families is what we need to prioritize. My guests laugh and joke with my members. For a small moment, it’s effortless to pretend that we aren’t on the verge of full-scale panic. This might as well be a family reunion for the untrained eye. But it can really be the last meal we have together. Kian and Miliano stare at me from time to time—you can’t miss the grief in their eyes. We don’t know if we’ll see each other again and must therefore also take advantage of this time we have together. It’s heavy for me to sit here and watch all these wolves around me that have an important place in my life. All those whom I now put at risk just because they want to defend me. How am I supposed to accept the sacrifice they make and that they force their families to make? I need to come up with a plan and a tactic quickly before someone innocent gets hurt. If I need to take the fall alone for the others to be safe, then so be it. Perhaps this was what the moon goddess talked about and referring to all along. That I must give my life to assure theirs? That’s not impossible. Our goddess works in mysterious ways. I rise to talk; in these dark times, I feel like I have to say something. Everyone around the table and nearby is silent as I stand there. My gaze moves over every one of them, and it hurts my heart. Even if none of them show it, I clearly see the fear within them. The fear that they may never come back to their families again.

“Hello, everyone. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you all for everything you have done for my boys and me. It’s very admirable what you have done. I pray for your safety and health; I hope that every one of you will be able to get back to your families again. Take care and look out for each other on your way home,” I say and walk out of the room.

Suddenly it’s hard for me to breathe in there, knowing that I’m the cause of the problem. My legs carry me out on the back, where I bend over and hyperventilate with thick tears running down my cheeks. I can’t do this. I can’t! How will I ever look their families in the eye again after their loved ones don’t come home? The resentment and hatred they’ll have against me deep within them is nothing I can take. No one should ever feel that I force them to leave their family and those they love; that isn’t right. I simply can’t be responsible for it. Something must happen fast before it’s too late! A hand caresses me over my back and draws me to himself. In these moments, I don’t care who it is. This is what I need now. My tears flow and create wet spots over the shirt of the person. My body shakes and bounces by the power of my sobs. It’s only now that reality catches up with me, and I understand what burden I have on my shoulders. Every life depends on me. Small puppies need protection, teenage wolves in need of their freedom, new parents who need their security, and older people who want peace of mind in their last days. All the wolves that seek me for protection and understanding. I can’t promise them all the things I wish I could. Because everything depends on how well others protect me when the threat comes here and stands at our doorstep. It isn’t their war to fight in. It’s mine. But how can I explain it to my loved ones and, moreover, make them accept the unpredictable? There’s no way they’re going to agree to what I know I must do. Which means I must go behind their backs again. I must leave them behind to ensure their safety and personal freedom to live their lives the way they want. King won’t stop until he gets his way. Even if I don’t want to have to get back to him, I will. I don’t want to be his mate or carry his puppies, but what choice do I have? I have blood on my hands, yes, but not innocents. If I don’t surrender myself, then it’ll be the innocents who suffer his wrath. Children who lose their parents, mates who die, families, tearing in half... Is it not better to sacrifice one to save thousands instead of offering thousands to protect one? The fact that I’m a particular werewolf doesn’t matter because, for me, every single one of my people is precious and unique. I’m no more special than anyone else and should therefore not let others treat me differently either. If King gets what he wants, then I can also hopefully control what he does to others. And if not, then at least I’ve tried and can hopefully kill him even if it costs me my life. I start to calm down and look up at the person holding me close. Miliano’s eyes stare back at me and caress my soul with his gaze. My beautiful mate, as I love him. The question is, will he ever be able to forgive me for what I’ll do? I know he and Kian will take care of our puppies. If that day comes when I’m no longer here, they have lots of wolves around that will help them out. I smile sadly and caress his cheek. He kisses my tears away and touches my lips with his—I don’t hesitate to press my lips against his. The kiss feels desperate and sloppy; despite this, it’s perfect.

“Aleida, my love. Everything is going to be all right; I promise you that,” he says and smiles at me.

“Our community is going to be in utter chaos and ashes. How can you promise something like that?” I ask with furrowed brows, worried.

“I can promise you that because Kian and I love you with everything we are. You’re our sun in the blue sky. Our moon in the darkest of nights. The perfect mother for our sons and all we ever wanted.”

His words make me smile—such a beautiful little speech. That’s what’s fantastic about my mates. If I need the delicate and cautious conviction, then I’ll go to Miliano. If I need the cold, raw truth straight out, Kian’s there. That’s the best combination of the two. Imagine that you have the best of both worlds, two parts that are total opposites but perfect for you. That’s how it feels. It’s this gentle way I need, and therefore Miliano is here for me to be the soft marshmallow bear he is. Don’t get me wrong; I love them both just as much. But different problems and situations need other solutions: supply and demand, sort of.

“I love you, baby,” I say and look up at him through my long thick lashes.

He bites down on his lower lip in the sexiest way. That gaze of his is hot like a summer day in California. He looks at me as if I’m a little piece of yummy that he keeps away from because of a diet. His big hands move around me and caress my curves, making my whole body shudder from the touch. Although we’re in an uncertain situation, we always find ways to touch and be with each other. That’s what makes my and my mates’ relationship unique. We live for the day like a dragonfly. While others would probably run around with worry and panic right now, we can’t do that... Or at least not me. Others must see and perceive me as calm and graceful, given my royal genes. If I show myself scared and insecure, then the real panic will erupt, like that little monster from “Alien.”

“I love you too, my little butterfly,” Miliano answers and kisses me on my forehead.

I sigh at the simple gesture and enjoy it as much as I can. Miliano takes my hand, and I follow him back inside. All our guests like my brothers, my friends, the pack and so on are there. Kian is sitting in the living room on the couch with our sons. I hurry up to them; I can’t help myself! I always become giddy and happy when my little men are nearby. They smile at me and make a grabbing motion for me to get closer, which I do. I pick them up, and they immediately sigh with satisfaction. My mates are watching us, and I smile big at them, trying not to show the real fear that is starting to build a nest deep inside of me.

“Promise me that you will keep them safe, no matter what,” I say and look my mates directly in the eyes.

“Of course, we will keep them safe; you know that,” Kian answers with the same seriousness; I shake my head at him because it doesn’t seem like he understands what I actually mean.

“No, I need to hear from you both that you promise. If the choice between keeping our puppies safe and me alive, I need you to promise me to choose them. No matter what happens.”

“Aleida—,” Miliano starts.

“No, Milo. Promise me. I don’t only tell you this because I’m your mate or their mother; this is one hundred percent an order from your alpha and queen.”

When I say that, it seems like the whole world stops moving for a second. I’ve never given any actual orders before. But desperate times mean desperate measures.

“We promise,” Kian and Miliano say at the same time; I nod my head, satisfied with the knowledge that they’ll protect those who are most important when I can’t.

“Thank you. It isn’t only me or you who needs these boys. They’re the next heirs to not only our packs but also for the throne. As crown princes, they shall have protection, even if that means that you will neglect your queen. You’ll all leave me behind if necessary; I will handle this on my own. And that goes for everyone.”

Everyone in the room gives each other a doubtful gaze, but because I’m commanding them all, they have no choice but to submit.

“Yes, alpha,” everyone says in unison.

Satisfied with my choices, all I have to do now is wait for the inevitable to happen.