I will be back

Aleida’s POV

It’s a day just like any other day, but still not; because I get a letter sent to me. The envelope contains a cap of my hair and a threatening letter. I’m not scared, more pissed off. The only fear I have inside me is for my boys, who can’t yet defend themselves. I can’t afford to show any fear, not even the increasing one for my children.

“Hello, Aleida. We haven’t met yet. But I thought I’d change that. I’ll come after you one day, and then your closest ones won’t be able to protect you. You were promised to me long before you were even born, and I’m coming soon to pick up what others promised me. You’ll do as I say, or your pups will die before your eyes. Then you’ll get to live with the knowledge that you couldn’t save them. Don’t worry, I’m watching you every day, and if you try anything, I’ll know of it.

I’ll see you soon, my love.”

I howl with anger and probably wake up the whole house, but at this moment, I don’t care. The kitchen chair feels like a small twig when, in sheer anger, I lift it and throw it through the window sill. My chest heaves rapidly; I feel how my wolf begins to take over. My canines grow inside my mouth when a hand touches me, and by pure instinct, I grab the arm. The body flies into the opposite wall. Michael groans loudly, and when I see that it truly is him, my anxiety rises inside me. I run up to him, forgetting to put my canines away. He flinches under me, and I retract them.

“Michael, oh my god! Are you all right? I’m so sorry,” I whisper with a tear falling down my face.

I help him up, and when I make sure he’s okay, I begin picking up glass shards from the floor, ignoring their gazes.

“Aleida, baby, what happened?” Kian asks in a soft tone.

I don’t say anything or even raise my head. If I do, my tears are going to fall. I don’t want the bastard to see how much power he has over me, no siree.

“Aleida, please talk to us. We can’t help you if we don’t know what happened,” Killian says softly.

“Kitchen counter,” I say; that’s all I say, still not looking up at them.

Someone walks out in the kitchen to grab the note. I hear the letter pass between the men. All I hear is different swears. Henry crouches down to me and puts his finger under my chin to raise my head. When we meet eyes, he gasps. He probably can see my pain and how much this actually has affected me, even though I don’t show it to others.

“I’m fine,” I say in a stern voice before walking out into the kitchen to throw out the glass.

I have a giant shard in my hand. Without thinking, I lean on the counter and squeeze the glass into my palm until the blood pools underneath. My breaths are heavy, and I’m doing my goddamn best not to start sobbing. I’m the freaking queen; I can’t show weakness, not even towards my mates. A hand touches my shoulder and spins me around. Nathan is standing before me with an uncertain smile on his face. He’s sniffing the air before his gaze travels down to my hand and the blood, making him growl.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Aleida!”

He sighs and grabs my arm to drag me to the pack hospital. I struggle to get free from his grasp. That doesn’t go so well, though; instead of letting me go, he lifts me on his shoulder. I punch him in the back over and over again.

“Nathan! Let me go!” I exclaim with a growl.

“No. Not when you’re hurting yourself. Enough of this strong bullshit you’re doing. You need our fucking help, and we’re here to help you! Stop being such a handful!”

Oh, hell no. I punch Nathan hard in the back and growl at him. He puts me back down on the floor but doesn’t back down from my gaze locked on him.

“You have no fucking idea what I’ve been through since I left, not a single damn thing! Don’t open your mouth and talk about things that you have no idea of!” I shout in his face.

“Well, how would I otherwise get information from you, huh? We don’t remember you talking to us about it. You tell us facts and the big picture of things, but never about your feelings,” Nathan exclaims and throws his hands up in the air.

“Because that’s not important,” I answer with a stoic expression.

“Yes, it’s important! How long do you think you can keep this up without breaking? You’ve been strong for so goddamn long, and I seriously have no idea how you do it, but this has to end.”

“If you take care of your life, I will take care of mine, yeah?” I say, trying to walk away from him, but he once again takes a grip on my arm.

“You can’t run away from your feelings, Aleida! The only feeling you’re showing others is when you’re happy; otherwise, you’re just like any other alpha out there-cold and numb.”

“Well,” I begin saying. “I guess I have to blame it on my tangled childhood. You know, having my parents murdered and all.”

“God damn it, Aleida! Can you for one fucking minute take what I’m saying seriously!?” Nathan yells, and I roll my eyes at him.

“No, I can’t! Because it isn’t your decision to make, it’s mine. I’ve taken care of my whole pack from the beginning and given birth to those boys upstairs. If I can do that alone, I can sure as hell decide which feelings I’m showing others,” I answer and begin to walk upstairs when his words stop me dead in my track.

“I, Nathan Obgian, challenge you, Aleida Mendez, for the alpha position of this pack.”

Everyone gasps, and it feels like the whole world stops for a second. I turn around and meet my brother’s smirk, raising my eyebrow at the audacity.

“I, Aleida Mendez, accept the challenge,” I answer and crack my knuckles. “Do you want to do this now?”

“Come one guys, please don’t do this,” Jason says and looks really uncomfortable with his siblings taking their fighting to the next stage.

“I’m sorry, Jason, but it has to happen,” Nathan replies before turning to me. “The sooner, the better.”

“All right, big brother. Let’s do this.”

Since Michael is my beta, it’s he who’s commissioned to pull the rules. They’re pretty standard. None of us are allowed to shift, no weapons, no outsiders are allowed to interfere, no mindlink, and we fight until either one gives up or someone dies. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realize that I really don’t want to fight my brother, not this way. If he doesn’t give up, I have to kill him.

“Begin!” Michael shouts.

We begin circling and focus on the other one’s movements. Nathan is going to attack me first; I just know it. I wait for his punch that never comes.

“So, Aleida. How does it feel about fighting your own brother today?” he asks me.

I try to ignore his words. My wolf and I are one; nothing can disturb us now. I can’t let my emotions out, or I’ll break completely, making this unknown person right that I’m weak.

“You truly have grown into an exceptionally strong woman since the last time I saw you. I wonder how you got that way...” Nathan continues.

Ignore, ignore, ignore...

“I wonder how many you had to kill without any sort of remorse. How many innocents did you kill?”

I can’t stop myself; I launch at him and gives him two quick jabs to his ribcage. He stumbles for a second and grunts from the pain. I smirk, which he returns.

“That’s right. You don’t feel any remorse or pain anymore. I probably forgot that you know, since you’re not the same little sister to me anymore,” Nathan says, ouch. “I wonder how your mates feel about all of this. You took their pups away from them after all.”

I lose control again and gives him an uppercut. He spits out the blood from his mouth and continues to grin.

“Oh, a sore spot. Finally, the ice queen Aleida shows some sort of emotion. How does it feel to know that you hurt your mates? That you were close to losing those pups of yours when you made the stupid fucking choice to run through uncharted lands without any experience?”

That’s it. I make a roundhouse kick that results in Nathan landing 13 ft away from me with a loud thump. Without being able to handle my emotions any longer, I jump at him, and my punches to his face aren’t going to stop. I can’t show mercy anymore.

“You’ve got no fucking idea what I had to endure to get where I am today! I’ve killed more people than you can count, and I’d do it all over again if I had to. Everything I’ve done, I did for all of you. Because you’re my family!” I scream, my voice breaking at the end. “It fucking hurts every morning when I wake up to know how I disappeared from all of you. Every-fucking-thing hurts! I’m broken down, and I don’t know how to get out of this anymore. My pups are the only thing that keeps me sane! I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry...”

I begin to sob. My brother’s bloody face still smiles up at me. He sits up and hugs me close to his chest.

“Finally, we make some progress,” he whispers and caresses my back.

He continues to embrace me until my sobbing and tears stop. Then he looks at me and wipes my tears.

“Why aren’t you talking about all of this, Aleida? It’s a shitload to take on by yourself.”

“People think I’m quiet because I’ve got nothing to say or because I’m shy. The truth is that I just keep my thoughts and opinions to myself in case no one will care about what I have to say. You can’t lose what you never had, you can’t keep what’s not yours, and you can’t hold on to something that doesn’t want to stay. So many times, I’ve wished I could give all of you my pain just for a moment. Not to hurt you, but so that you could finally understand how much I’m hurting and how hard it is to be me,” I whisper and look at my hands.

“We all can see and feel when you’re hurting. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but when you’re in a happy mood, everyone else around you is too. When you’re in a lousy mood, even the sky turns gray. You affect us all with how you feel. Each and every single one of us wants you to feel happiness. You’ve taken care of those puppies so well and kept this whole pack alive; you’ve done wonders in our world. But sometimes in life, you’ve got to make yourself a priority. You’ve been so good at taking care of others that along the way, you forgot about yourself,” Nathan answers in a soft tone.

“I just want everyone to be happy...” I say and look down at my hands again.

“And we will be when you are,” he answers and raises my head.

“Go to the pack hospital; you look like shit, brother.”

He smirks at me before standing up with the help of Jason and Henry. They drag him away, and leave me with my mates and Killian.

“You’re one badass fighter, luna,” Killian says, and that makes me smile.

“I’ve learned from the best. My daddy wasn’t merciful with my training,” I answer, and Kian helps me up from the ground when an omega walks out with my boys in her arms.

“Hello, babies,” I coo at them before taking them in my arms. “Have you been good? Yes, you have, such great boys.”

My mates walk closer to me, and the funniest thing happens. Both my little babies growls at them. I start to laugh while my mates look at the pups with raised eyebrows before taking their sons in their arms.

“Now, son... That attitude of yours needs to change,” Kian says sternly to Alexander, which are giggling, by the way.

“Don’t be so hard on them; it was obvious from the start that I was going to be the favorite parent,” I tease, making Miliano do a dramatic gasp and hold a hand to his heart.

“Who filled your mind with such vicious lies!?” he exclaims, and I laugh at him.

“Now, who’s imagining things?” Kian asks with a smirk.

“You know I’m right; no straight man can resist boobies.”

Both of my pups prove my point when they reach for me. My mates pout when I take them away and walk towards the house.

“Told ya!”