How does it feel? (Infatuated Fae Book 1)

Callie

“No, Mendax, please!” I pleaded, but it was already too late.

The familiar swirl blurred my vision.

I braced myself for something hard and cold, remembering how I’d awoke on my back in the blood forest.

I squeezed my knees to my chest and wrapped the long fabric of my dress over the top of my head should I need protection. The soft crimson fabric was the only armor I would have.

I continued to have the sensation of falling. The muscles of my body shook from exertion at the tension of preparing to brace my fall.

Still nothing. I felt only weightlessness as I continued to fall.

“Look, toots, we are gonna be here all night if you stay under that dress,” croaked a smooth voice creased with age.

Every muscle in my body tensed, waiting for the attack, but none came.

I slowly pulled the dress from my head and sat up apprehensively.

Rage still vibrated under my skin, but I tried to channel it into something productive that could save my life.

Mendax was a monster, and I couldn’t believe I had ever doubted that.

Bonding to me just so that he could take the throne as king. He would never have to actually be married because his human bonded would be dead.

How stupid could I have been?

He didn’t care about me ever. He only ever wanted me dead.

I would make him regret ever bonding to me, if I had to return from hell to burn him myself.

“It’s a good thing I’m not tryin’ to kill you or nothin’ ’cause even an old woman like me could’ve by now. Just standin’ there like that,” the voice said. I opened my eyes and braced myself.

Not what I was expecting, though I don’t really know what that would have been anyway.

The cave was large and arched over my head by at least another eight feet or so. There was no opening to be seen, no window or door. Just dusty brown walls that formed a deep, open cavern. It smelled like musty soil, but there was no soil or water to be seen, only dusty clay walls. It was dark around the edges, but not enough that you couldn’t see. Large wooden torches were bolted to the wall of rock every few feet. Their tall orange flames flickered with a hiss, the—

It wasn’t the torches that had hissed.

A large snake dropped into the middle of the room from out of nowhere with an angry hiss and slithered its black and green body to the edge of the cave’s floor, attempting to find its freedom.

I screamed and ran to the long table in the center of the room and scrambled to the top, only realizing there was a table after I stood upon it shaking.

I was terrified of snakes.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, scared me the way snakes did.

It’s as if he had known that somehow. Known that this was what would break me.

I felt a flutter of foreign, masculine pride in the back of my head.

What? Was that him?

Holy shit. I could feel him, like a trickle of his emotions were entwined with mine. I could feel his anger, and it felt like spicy hot lava in the back of my mind. There was something else. It felt like . . . I don’t know . . . sadness? I hadn’t felt anything quite like that since—

Since she had taken the other half of my heart.

I would get home and get my friend back. I hadn’t been through all this for nothing.

Bastard.

I tried to send my anger to wherever that spot in my mind was.

“Get off my damn table! Be a little self-aware human! No wonder you are in this predicament.”

I froze, crouched on the long black table to look at the old woman.

She stood looking annoyed at the end of my long wooden perch. Deep purple robes hung off her round body. Wrinkles, deep and thin alike, etched across her golden tan skin. Her silver hair was pinned beautifully up in several knots atop her head, the same silver of the brows that furrowed in my direction above gorgeous brown eyes. She looked old, but in a goddess-like way, not in a haggard old woman way.

“Get off of my table before you knock off all of the potions,” she scolded.

Her accent matched her robed attire sounding as if it were from another time entirely.

“Wh-who are you?” I asked as I eyed the snake in the corner.

It slithered at the wall but seemed content to avoid us.

Three more snakes dropped from out of nowhere with a soft thud, landing just to the side of the table.

I screamed, feeling the blood drain from my face. Was I going to pass out? After all of this. Everything I had been through just to have it all brought down by a stupid fear of snakes? I loved every animal, and I would never hurt a snake, but for some reason, they terrified me.

I felt a wave of relief and the muffled sound of laughter from a crowd in my mind.

He knew how much this was affecting me—he could feel it.

“The snakes are not your only worry, child. I suggest you get off this table and begin your trial before this room is filled with snakes. I can shadow myself out, can you?” the beautiful old woman asked.

“You-you don’t understand. They are venomous snakes. I can tell by the shape of their head. Most nonpoisonous snakes have a triangular head, but these have a broader jaw. It-it’s because of their venom sacks,” I stammered, unable to focus. Pure fear had its grip on me and my decisions at this point. “Who are you anyway?” I asked again.

“I am the oracle, Lania. I am here to deliver your words of fate and task you with your second trial,” she said calmly as if we weren’t in a room raining venomous snakes out of thin air.

“An oracle? You’re going to read my fortune for the second trial?” I asked incredulously before looking at the slithering reptiles along the floor. My body immediately began to tremble. Would they hurt me, or would they help me like the other animals? “What about the snakes?” I narrowed my eyes at the woman.

“Foolish girl, as the oracle, I am also the monarch of poisons.” She put her arm on her purple-clad hip and motioned for me to get off the table.

The swallow stuck in my throat. The snakes had moved to the other side and seemed to be piling up on each other, likely for warmth in the cold cave.

“So you’re poisoning me,” I stated, looking at the seven various colored cups on the table, each filled with a different colored liquid.

“Yes, essentially.” She looked down as if that made her sad. “My job today is not as oracle, but I have been blessed and burdened with both titles, so I will lighten my tongue. Death and darkness will haunt you well into the golden fortress disguised as home.” She stepped closer, and her eyes glistened against the torchlight as she studied my face. “You search for what makes your heart whole. Remember, the viper warms himself in the daylight but finds his home in the dark. Above all else, remember to unleash the viper inside when you need it the most.” With this, she nodded her head down and took a few slow steps away from me and the table.

“I don’t understand any of what you just said?” I questioned, worried that maybe I had missed a clue she’d just given me.

She simply smiled. “You will soon.” She began to fade.

The opacity of her robes changed before my eyes.

“Wait! You can’t leave me here!” I screamed.

“In front of you rest seven unmarked glasses. Four of the glasses are poisons I myself have harvested with the intent of killing you. The remaining three glasses are filled with their antidote.” She was barely visible now. “Take them in the correct order, and you shall live on and earn the chance to return home. But take even one out of order, and you will die a very slow and painful death. I would not dawdle in your decisions as this room will slowly be filled with venomous snakes as you have so aptly surmised,” she sang.

“Wait!” I shouted after her, but it was too late, she had completely vanished, and I was now alone.

Alone in the cave with the snakes and an impossible amount of poison.

My mind began to spin as my hands grew clammy and damp. Even if I poisoned the snakes, more would drop down. If I just refused to drink the poisons, the snakes would kill me.

Another two snakes dropped from the sky. These were solid black with rattles that shook wildly as they echoed a horrible melody of doom throughout the cave.

“Oh my god, I can’t do this. I can’t! Fuck!” I shook as I clamored on the table again, careful not to tip over the silver stemmed cups.

I pulled my legs in to sit crisscross as I looked down at the line of cups.

“Okay, okay . . . let’s see,” I mumbled to myself, trying desperately to calm down.

One wrong move and I would be writhing in pain and then dead.

All right, the first cup looked clear. I lifted it, cautious not to spill anything with my shaking hands as I held it to my nose and sniffed, hoping for some type of clue. I don’t know why since I didn’t know what to look for. I set it back down and picked up the second chalice, this one had a beautiful purple liquid, but I could smell nothing.

The third chalice looked to be a beautiful rosy pink hue and smelled warm and sweet, almost like . . .

My mind flashed to a patch of gorgeous pink flowers I had smelled at a hotel conference years ago—oleander! This was oleander!

My heart began to race. I knew botanical properties and their poisons. I had just assumed they would use magical toxins. Did they even use herb and botanical poisons? Had Lania, the monarch of poisons, done this to help me?

I scooted up closer to the cups before I hastily moved back in a nervous shift. This was crazy.

If I remembered correctly, oleander flowers produced oleandrin and neriine. Two incredibly potent cardiac glycosides. A single leaf could kill you, let alone an entire brewed cup.

I set the glass down and hurriedly moved on to the next cup just before another three snakes dropped to the table.

I screamed and felt a sharp bolt of worry. Wait, that worry wasn’t mine. It was from Mendax.

Why would he be worried?

Probably worried I would figure out the task and get out alive.

Defiance and anger bubbled beneath my skin like lava. How could I have been so stupid to think he had started to care about me?

I couldn’t believe I had let him touch me. Taste me.

My mind flashed with how insane his tongue had felt on—

Lust.

Pure blinding lust pounded through my mind from the monster himself. He could feel my arousal through the bond.

I shook my head and tried to clear my mind.

I would get out of here. I would get out of here and go home if it was the last thing I ever did.

I picked up the extra fabric from the train of my dress and wiped the sweat that beaded across my face before I heaved out a deep breath and picked up the fourth cup.

As soon as I inhaled, strong herbs assaulted my senses from the pale green liquid. What was that? Fennel, crab apple, maybe? Chamomile? It smelled strong, like an overpotent tea. I set it back down. Okay, out of four cups, I could only place one.

The fifth glass was also green, a bit darker than the last one. I held it up to my nose and braced myself for disappointment.

Carrots.

It smelled like carrots? What in the—?

What poison smelled like carro—

Water hemlock was in the carrot family and was incredibly toxic!

I immediately dipped the tiniest bit of my pinky into the green liquid and wiped it on the top of my forearm.

Within a few seconds, the skin began to redden and hive.

It was definitely water hemlock. I was certain of it. It grew along the park’s wet meadows regularly and caused severe skin reactions from touching it.

I set the cup down and smiled at the poison, feeling slightly more optimistic.

Another snake, this one red with bright green stripes, fell on the table and nearly knocked one of the cups over before I screamed and kicked it with my foot.

I needed to hurry. They were coming faster.

The sixth cup was filled with what looked to be another cup of clear liquid, but upon smelling it, I immediately placed lemon. Strong lemon. Unless it was poison masked with lemon, I had to believe that this was an antidote. Lemon juice was incredibly acidic. I filed that away in my mind as I set the cup down and continued to the final cup.

The clear-ish pale green liquid looked similar to the others, maybe a bit lighter. Some sediment had settled to the bottom of the cup, and I squinted to see if it might lend to a hint. No luck. It just looked like small white dots. That could’ve been anything. I sniffed the liquid.

I gagged, almost dropping the cup.

It smelled like raw meat.

How disg—

Root something . . . snakeroot! I was shaking so hard I could barely see.

White snakeroot was an incredibly common poisonous weed with tiny white fluffy flowers! That could be what the white speckles on the bottom were from, and it smells like raw meat. Quite an unmistakable fragrance.

The plant was so incredibly toxic that people died just from drinking the milk of a cow that recently grazed on white snakeroot. That had to be what it was!

As if on command, at least five snakes fell to the floor with a sickening sound.

The floor was covered now with slithering hissing snakes.

My eyes clenched shut with fear as they slid over each other across the floor. Some were the size of a garter snake, but some were absolutely giant.

My god, what I wouldn’t give to get out of this room and away from these creatures. I loved all animals and could even appreciate them, but some unfounded part of my body was absolutely terrified of these snakes.

Okay, there was no sense in wasting any more time.

I couldn’t help but feel like the oracle had been trying to help me by giving me a few human herbs—

The humans.

Did Mendax still plan on taking over the human realm and destroying all the humans?

I growled in frustration at my chaotic mind as I tried to focus on the cups in front of my knees. I couldn’t just leave the humans to be annihilated when I could have done something.

Okay, one problem at a time.

I needed to make it out of here alive, and then I would try and work a deal with Mendax or something. There had to be something I could negotiate to at least stall the humans’ demise. Maybe as his bonded, he could no longer hurt humans—

Oh my god, could that be a thing? How would I find that out? He had bonded us in haste, so maybe he hadn’t thought that through?

I smoothed the sweat-dampened hair from my face and tried to sort my chaotic thoughts.

With a deep breath, I carefully moved the third cup of rosy pink oleander poison to the left, then followed suit with the white snakeroot that smelled like nasty raw meat and then the water hemlock that smelled like carrots. I was gambling that those three were what I guessed and were all poisonous. I moved the chalice of what I guessed was lemon juice to the right in my “antidote” pile and stared at the three ominous cups remaining.

A snake fell from nowhere and landed in my lap.

I screamed and tried to fling it off as I fell off the table onto the snake-littered ground.

My hoarse screams echoed through the cave, which only seemed to rile up the serpents that climbed around me as I scrambled, trying to get to my feet. For the first time in my life, I felt so scared I couldn’t function. My body was shutting down from pure panic.

My eyes fell shut as the thick bodies of snakes crawled over me. How I hadn’t been bitten yet was beyond me, but I would be soon. One can only huddle in a snake-filled room so long before they were bitten and killed.

Get up.

You’re a terrible assassin.

I thought you had pull with animals?

Fucking Mendax! His voice was quiet and hard to hear in the back of my mind, but it was almost like I felt it more than heard it.

I sat up, furious. This was the last thing I needed!

Get out of my fucking head!

And I’m not a fucking assassin! Does a well-trained assassin roll up in a ball and wish for death surrounded by snakes, you idiot?

The nerve of that prick. I stood up and slowly moved to my previous perch atop the snake-free table of poisons fueled purely by annoyance.

I never said you were well trained.

I growled.

Get out of my head, Mendax! I hope if I do die, you feel every single thing through the bond. Every tiny ounce of pain from me being killed and gone forever.

Silence. Good. I lifted the unknown purple cup.

You have no idea the level of pain I will feel when you are gone forever.

Sorrow and anger, more potent than the poisons in front of me, flitted through the bond, and I sucked in a surprised breath.

More snakes fell.

I shook my head and tried to focus yet again. The purple liquid was beautiful but had no fragrance. If I were guessing by the opacity of the purple and the theme from the other poisons, it was botanical. Could it be an antidote? Like the other clear cup, it had no fragrance.

My mind scanned through the toxic flowers I knew of that came in that color. Aconite was the same purple, highly poisonous, and coined the Queen of Poisons, with the only known antidote being some mix of borax or something I couldn’t remember.

I set the cup down and picked up the clear and fragrance-free cup. Could this be that? The blend of borax? It wouldn’t have a scent, and it would be clear. I took a chance and moved my suspected borax mix to the right with the lemon juice and the purple I suspected as being Aconite to the left. If my shoddy guesses were correct, then that would be four poisons, all to my left and two antidotes to my right, with the strong herb-smelling one in the middle. It had to be some sort of antidote. It smelled like there were at least ten or so herbs mixed together. There was an old medieval antidote called nine poisons? I shakily moved it to the right.

Well, with four poisons, I would have to start with one of those.

I moved the Aconite to its own place, then set what I believed to be the clear borax mixture in front of it.

When the cattle in the study had consumed the white snakeroot, they fed them a diet rich in acidity to fight the toxins.

I set the pale green chalice that I suspected was snakeroot next to what I hoped would be the borax mixture and then placed the supposed lemon juice next to that.

That left me with oleander, nine herbs, and water hemlock. Maybe.

Two poisons and one antidote, how would that work? If I took both poisons together, it would only up the toxicity to my system.

Had I heard the numbers wrong? Had it been three poisons and four antidotes?

I fought to swallow; my throat felt dry and sandy.

I must be wrong about something.

Was this not oleander? The rosy pink flower? Was it an antidote instead?

A breeze wafted into the cave, obviously induced by magic since there was no opening.

The flames of the torches flickered wildly before all going out save for one.

The room instantly became more eerie and daunting, with only the slight hint of light that bounced off the many, many slithering bodies. The sounds of their hissing felt louder as my senses waged war against my mind.

I moved the questionable pink liquid to the end and prayed it was an antidote. There was no other way I would survive, even if, against all odds, I had guessed the others correctly.

I grabbed the first two cups in the line, what I believed to be the Aconite and its borax antidote. I brought the purple liquid to my lips as a tear escaped before I pulled the chalice quickly away.

What if I was wrong?

Poisons were horrible. At the rehab center, we had to deal with animal poisoning constantly. Animals get into weed killer or antifreeze. It was always horrendous watching the sweet creatures suffer.

And suffer they did. They nearly always died an excruciating death from it.

I so badly wanted to go home and see everyone. I vowed that after I made it out of here, I would somehow find Eli. I missed him so badly that sometimes it hurt.

I returned the cold metal to my lips and threw back the purple liquid, dropping the cup to the side of the table and downing the contents of what I prayed was to be the antidote. I threw the cup to the serpents with a loud clang and waited.

Instantly I broke into a damp sweat.

My stomach bubbled and gurgled its protest, but no pain came.

This was no place for a human, and I would do what I could to make certain the Unseelie never got to the human realm. The Seelie, at least, were good-natured and had wanted to help.

I grabbed the next pair of goblets.

The white snakeroot and the lemon juice.

At least that’s what I hoped I grabbed, the lack of light had made it impossible to differentiate the color of the liquids as it now just looked shiny black against the metal chalice’s rim.

Down my gullet they went, one after the other. I would have given it more thought, but what sounded like at least a hundred snakes dropped to the floor, and it was all I could do to hurry. Were they dropping consistently now? I couldn’t see very far around me because it was so dark.

I felt the nausea rise as a deep belch sounded. I was going to be sick.

Sick, but I wasn’t convulsing, and that was a very good sign.

I was down to the last three.

The three that I was the most uncertain about.

One of which I wasn’t entirely sure if it was even a poison or an antidote.

Something slithered across the table, and I had to shove its heavy body off with a thud. They were rising quickly, and they sounded absolutely furious if their rampant hisses were any indication of their anger.

I grabbed the water hemlock and the nine herbs. That left the questionable pink, which I first suspected was oleander, staring back at me.

It had to be an antidote. I couldn’t end on a poison or it would kill me.

Either she had misspoken, or I had misheard the numbers, but that had to be an antidote. There was no other way this could work out. I was fairly certain of the others, more so after having tasted them and confirming a few, such as the lemon juice. Several of the botanical poisons reminded me of their flowers’ smell, which also added to my confidence.

All but the last pink one.

I held the water hemlock to my mouth and swallowed it down. They each tasted foul, and it took everything within me to force the liquids into my mouth.

I chased it quickly with the strong herbed drink and nearly retched. I had to stop and hunch over like a heaving cat before I could down the strong-smelling liquid.

I waited a minute. By now, the other poisons would have caught up and taken hold. Without looking in a mirror, I couldn’t see the color of my tongue or the state of my eyes, but I checked my pulse and was just thankful my heart hadn’t exploded yet.

Had I done it? Had I guessed them correctly?

The last pink chalice stared at me, daring me to lift it.

If I had miscalculated and this was poison, I would be dead within minutes.

I picked up the glass and fought back tears. The worst part of this one was I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t have a good guess. Just a hope and prayer that this was not my time and that it was an antidote.

The cold metal touched my lips, and I swallowed it in three big gulps. It was bitter with a sweet hint of flavor. With my nose close to the liquid, I smelled it again before I emptied the contents of the cup and threw it to the floor, awaiting the tension to leave my shoulders and confirm that I was right, and it was the antidote.

My fingers clenched the fabric of my dress tightly.

It was oleander.

It was poison, and I had no antidotes left.