Homesick

Ian watched the two Masters inside the shuttlepod from a monitor on his own console. Beside that image was displayed the photograph of his grandfather. From the angle of the picture it looked comically like his grandfather was watching Daaarrm and Obiiilion too, while at the same time keeping his primary attention on Ian.

The Masters didn’t talk amongst themselves on the ride down, but he could see that Obiiilion still looked frightened. Daaarrm sat still, cold and calculating, like a villain in a cheap, old movie, who never accepted defeat. He occasionally nursed a cut on his arm, wrapping it with a piece of his torn jacket. Ian was calmer now, but his anger remained. Right alongside it, however, was a mixture of regret and embarrassment. He remembered his outburst in the mess hall with disbelief, as if he were watching an impostor of himself whose purpose had been to deliberately embarrass him! He was not looking forward to facing Sally. He’d tried hard to keep her respect and, up until that incident, he was reasonably sure he had it. Up until that incident.

The ship’s landing caught Ian’s interest, primarily because Obiiilion’s bulk all but bounced out of the couch on impact! Miraculously, she had not thrown up this time, but the strain of gravity returning had gradually shown in her face. Her mouth opened, as if in a wide yawn, and her eyes began to squint.

It was comical to watch them leave the ship when the alarm went off, but Ian didn’t laugh. Obiiilion toppled out of her couch, lacking her slaves to carry her, and for a moment Ian was not sure she was going to get out in time. Daaarrm, being the chivalrous man he was, ran out of the ship before Obiiilion found her way completely to the floor! When they’d both disappeared from sight, Ian waited patiently, staring at the empty pod’s interior.

The explosion rattled the camera image badly as it tore out the instrument panels in front of it. This was followed by a further eruption from below when the fuel lines ruptured, blowing out the floor of the pod and igniting the remaining fuel supply in a massive chain reaction that predictably knocked out the camera. After a moment of static, the screen blackened. As if mesmerized, Ian continued to stare at the empty monitor until his door chimed.

He got up and faced Sally in the doorway. He motioned for her to enter and she did. He then reached into his food locker and pulled out a globe of coffee, extending it to her politely.

“I stopped by to see how you were feeling,” she said. “Is there anything I can do?”

Her words surprised him at first. He’d expected her to be angry with him. Perhaps her being a doctor had caused her to think of his health and well-being before matters of discipline. In any case, she was clearly being delicate with him. Too delicate. He set the coffee down on the console and faced her with a penitent sigh. “I’m sorry, Captain. I let you down back there. I just came apart.” He bowed his head. “It was that talk about eating people. God, you should have heard . . . Captain, I put you in danger and I deserve to be disciplined. I imagine, given our circumstances, that I’ll still be needed to fly the ship. If you choose not to relieve me of duty altogether, I can promise to give you no less than my best work. I naturally wouldn’t expect to have any other privileges and you can use your best judgment concerning my rank . . .”

Ian stopped when Sally waved her hand dismissively.

“Captain, what I did compromised our safety!”

“Ian, sit down,” Sally said with a weary look. “Relax. We’ve both been through the proverbial ringer, but we somehow managed to survive. We’re still a long way from home, however, and to be honest that’s all I really care about. You’re human, Ian, and you had a moment. No harm done.”

Ian’s face remained tight. “Captain, I know we’ve been through more than just this mission together and I know we’re friends, but as Captain you __”

“As Captain, I acknowledge your recommendation,” Sally said with some impatience. “But I will decide whether and how to act on it.”

He nodded. “Agreed.”

“We’ve talked about this before, Ian. Nobody was more surprised than me when I was given this command, but I do have it now. As such, I have to decide what’s in everybody’s best interest, and that includes if and when to give my pilot a little breathing room. Now, I hope this doesn’t diminish me in your sight, but I choose to do just that. That doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore what happened. I’m going to learn from it, get past it, and move on. We’re all still alive and so are they.” She motioned again for him to sit and this time he did. “Scott’s a personal friend of yours and you’ve known him longer than any of us. Since they know so much about us, I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew this, too, and were trying to make you lose perspective.”

She faced him seriously, making sure she had his eyes. “But, when the time came for you to make a choice, you made the right one. When I gave you a direct order, you followed it.”

“Only just,”

“It wasn’t a pretty scene, Ian, and we’re lucky it didn’t play out worse. But it’s over now. And all the official record will say is that there were two disturbances in two separate compartments on the ship. We felt the need to expel the alien party and managed to do so without undue use of force and without causing serious harm to them or us. Let Earth command read into that what they will.”

“You’re very generous, Captain.”

“Only when it’s deserved. Ian, you more than met me halfway on this. I can understand how you must have felt, but you stayed true to your duties and you remained civilized.” She took his hand. “I heard you threaten that woman a few times and maybe you even struck her, but I didn’t hear any shots and she didn’t look the worse for wear when she left here. And now she’s back at home, just as beastly as before, and you can return to Earth with a promising career and a clear conscience.” She paused for emphasis. “They didn’t get you, Ian. They didn’t make you like them. You’re just as good a man as you were when I first met you on that mining station, if not better.”

“There’s no blood on your hands, Ian,” she continued, noticing him start to turn away. “On the planet you did what you had to do to defend both of us. You shot two hostile creatures that would have taken us from our homes and families, and even from ourselves! And those creatures were dead long before we got here. Their souls were murdered years before you destroyed their bodies. Whoever they once were was erased by the Masters, not you. That’s what Dr. Poole said anyway, and I believe her.”

He listened in silence, but was moved by her words more than he wanted to display.

“And that you did in self-defense.” She squeezed his hand. “But, if you’d shot that miserable, unarmed woman simply because she provoked you to anger, that would have been different. You know it would probably have ended of your career, but I don’t think that’s why you didn’t do it. You didn’t because you’re Ian Merryfield, and Ian is an honorable man with principles. He’s a man I’m proud to have as part of my crew and glad to know as a friend!” She studied his face carefully. “Think of it, Ian. If you’d shot Obilion, who really would have died?”

He drew a deep sigh. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Of course, unofficially, I hope you scared the living crap out of that beast and I think she got far less than she deserved!” She smiled, looking to Ian for a reaction but seeing none. “She still doesn’t answer your calls, does she?”

“No,” he said, momentarily missing her reference. “But she’ll come ’round __”

“I’m concerned about you, Ian. We’ve all been through a lot and I don’t like to see you this way. If you want me to, I can have Dr. Poole talk to Angela. Maybe that would help.”

“No.” He shook his head. “It’ll blow over. Maybe I could do with some time to think anyway.” Unconsciously, he looked back towards his console.

“Did you know him?” she asked, following the direction of his gaze to the old photograph.

“Who?”

She pointed at the picture on the screen. Ian stammered. “No, not really. Almost, though. He died a very old man. I was just a lad. I remember . . . his beard, but not much else.”

“If you need to talk . . .” She touched his shoulder gently, as if she were about to leave. But then, as if on a whim she didn’t fully understand, she drew him towards her and kissed him gently on the lips. When it was over, Ian looked only slightly confused. He tried to say something, but couldn’t find the words.

“Maybe I thought you needed that,” she said with a shrug. “Maybe I needed it.”

Ian found his voice and tried to smile. “I didn’t know that you . . .”

“I don’t.” She grinned playfully. “Maybe that’s the fun of it. You know that from me it can only mean friendship. Think of it as a kind of handshake or pat on the back. But, if it made you feel better, you can take it any way you want to.”

She turned again to leave. “I won’t pry, Ian, but call me if you need me.”

“Captain.” He stopped her. “Thank you.” He smiled, still not quite sure what else to say. “I do appreciate the thought . . . I know you didn’t mean it as . . . well . . .”

“It can be our secret.” She winked.

His face tightened. “But there’s something I do need to tell you.” He picked up his handheld and extended it to her.

“What?”

“It’s not over. Not really.”

She took the unit and studied its display. It was a two-column list of numbers and letters, which she recognized as an inventory.

“I went over the stuff Vlad took out of the ship. He left most of it on the floor in the bay, but I found all the sealed units that were most important. We got the optical backup system I was telling you about, but some of the discs are missing. They must have them down there. I also found evidence that a few of the ship’s components had been tampered with. I suspect they have an understanding of our technology now.”

Sally shook her head and shrugged. “We tried.”

“They probably know where the fold is, too.”

“A fair bet,” she admitted. “If they knew I lived in Ontario and could speak intelligently about our history and habits, I’d be surprised if a detail like that managed to elude them.”

“We might as well not have bothered!”

“But we did. Maybe we slowed them down a little, who knows.”

“Maybe.”