His Soft Fur

Ty had gotten sick over the weekend. I haven’t seen him since the day of the storm. Now it’s Monday and he’s not in school. I wonder what he does when he can’t change back. Where does he go?

I found Channing in the library during lunch. He was skipping his class, but he’s always reading. No one ever gives him credit but he’s really smart. Not a lot of people can get passed the threatening part. And Channing isn’t particularly nice, but he’s not mean either.

So I sat with him.

I didn’t say anything when I sat down. He only glanced at me but he went back to reading.

Then he glanced up again when he saw the book I was holding. I still had the book I checked out of the library last week. I didn’t say anything when I caught him staring. Then he just suddenly closed his book and sat up straighter.

Now he was looking at me.

I don’t know what I did or said, but I think he wants me to explain myself.

“Have you seen Ty?” I asked when he didn’t look away.

“He’s not nearby.” He answered plainly. He wasn’t going to elaborate on that so I didn’t press further.

He must wander somewhere else.

“Do you...know that he’s having a hard time?” I asked, curious but slightly hesitant because he was looking directly into my eyes.

Channing knows how to be intimidating.

“He wants to figure it out on his own.”

I had so many more questions to ask and I know he saw that on my expression. I didn't want say anything, my facial expression was enough for him to tell that I wanted to know more.

“Look, we’re all affected. Brendan gets nauseous, Jackie can’t sleep for days, and Cina gets anxiety. I can’t tell you why.”

I didn’t know all that.

They all get sick.

“Ty is just having a harder time, and the fevers and passing out all the time doesn’t help.”

I wanted to know why that was but Channing didn’t know either.

I felt bad.

“Are you okay?” I asked because someone should make sure he’s okay, too. I get the feeling like no one asks him a lot.

“It’s not as bad for me.” He answered plainly.

I wonder if he’s actually okay. Channing looks like he hasn’t slept much in a while. Does his family worry about him too? He deserves that much. He won’t tell me what he’s dealing with, and it’s not my place to ask him, but I can’t just say that I’m not worried for the others.

Knowing what I know, I wanted the family to be okay.

Then I remembered how Channing had plans with his girlfriend. I didn’t hear that from him, but still. Is that what’s keeping him up?

“How long will all this last?” I asked.

Maybe this won’t be for long.

“It will take a while before we can just make it stop.” He looked away, and I knew I got him thinking about his own problems. “It’ll eventually go away.”

It’ll take a long time.

“So...are you, like, aware of things when you’re a wolf?” I asked, more so to change the subject than to have an answer.

He narrowed his eyes at the question, like it was stupid. “I’m definitely aware.”

“So you know who people are and everything?”

“Yes.”

“And Ty?”

“It takes him a minute, but he gets there.” Channing shrugged. “It’s all about control, and that’s not easy to have when half of our consciousness is a wolf.” He said.

I wanted to know what it was like.

How they control it.

How they can keep normal with such a sudden change.

“How’d you do it?”

“I’m still learning.” He said.

He just gives off that feeling like he has it all figured out. And I was eager to know about it.

His eyes flashed a lighter blue, almost a white color with a blue tint. It wasn’t subtle. I noticed the change when he blinked. He parted his lips with his fingers to show his canine teeth that were sharper.

“Let my younger brothers do that and they’ll shift right then and there.” He said.

I was going to say that’s a cool trick, but I kept that to myself. I should hold my excitement in. There’s no reason for me to get out of hand over him being able to show part of his other half.

“You shouldn’t know any of this stuff.” Channing easily caught on to my excitement. I didn’t think I was that obvious, and I wanted to be more reserved, but he immediately said something about it. “And you smell like Ty.”

Still?

I groaned and sat back in my seat. I did laundry yesterday. I don’t understand why they can still smell him on me. I haven’t been with him since Saturday morning. Should I wash my clothes again? I think I washed my hair twice this morning because I was worried. Maybe I should cut it.

“Is it...that obvious?” I asked, my face getting hot.

“Very.”

Should I ask Channing for his approval? I expect him to be the most understanding out of everyone else. He’s the one with the normal girlfriend, so I don’t think he would get mad at me. I wanted to know if he told his girlfriend yet. And I know that’s prying into his life, and I shouldn’t know something so secretive and personal, but if I know and she doesn’t, that’s definitely putting him on the spot.

I wasn’t going to ask him.

“Are you mad, too?”

“It’s not that.” Channing started. He’s usually good with his words, so when he thought about how he wanted to say something, I know it was serious. “Things are changing for us, and we’re still learning.” he said. “If something happens to you, I’m responsible.”

“I trust him.”

“I wouldn’t.” Channing didn’t hesitate. “I’m saying that for your sake, not his.” he got up from his seat and took his stuff. “Be careful.” he warned me.

I had goosebumps on my skin. Does Channing know how threatening he can be? I know he’s saying this for my well being, but I took that as an actual threat. My hairs were standing on ends, and that was frightening enough. He should get that under control.

When the bell rang, I got up to go to class.

There wasn’t anything stressful about the day. The snow was beginning to melt but it was going to take a while. The twins finally spoke to me, and it was just brought to my attention that they can be a little weird and ominous. Saying the same thing at the same time made it worse. They’re more in sync than I thought they would be. Lowe and Lowell aren’t as...mean as their older brothers, but they weren’t as nice either.

They judge. Out loud.

They made comments about me. Why I was so nosy, why I was in their business, why my hair was so long, why was I with Ty. The last one got me because all of them know that something is going on between me and Ty. I think I need to bleach my clothes. I tried to be polite with them because I thought it would be better to not get defensive, but they just walked away after class and continued talking about me like I wasn’t just there.

I have no idea why they’re like that, and I wasn’t going to ask.

After the end of the day, I went home.

There was another car parked out in the driveway. My parents weren’t home, so I guess this was the perfect opportunity for Ty to come over. He was leaning against his car, keeping himself covered in his big coat. When I got out of my car, I walked over to him.

He looked flushed, like he was sick.

Again.

“Another fever?” I asked.

“It’s gone down.” he said.

He still looked terrible. He was sweating, even being out in the cold. I should get him inside and under a blanket. I tugged on his arm so I could bring him with me inside the house.

But before he could take another step, he collapsed and fell in the snow.

“Ty?”

He didn’t move.

I got down beside him and shook him to wake him up. His fever was still too high, that’s why he passed out. Part of his face was pressed in the snow. I wanted to lift him up so he wouldn’t feel the cold. His eyes opened and they were bright blue, different than the normal color.

It was like what Channing showed me earlier.

“Move.” Ty said.

“But-”

“Move!” He said loudly.

I saw his teeth. They got bigger, sharper. The look on his face was strained, but by the way his eyes has changed color, by the way his teeth got, the way his muscles tensed as he tried to move, I knew this was the right time to take more than just a couple steps back.

I don’t know how far away is far enough, but I kept him in my sights as I watched his body spasm. His muscles got bigger as he rose up on all four. It wasn’t quick, and I knew he was fighting it. It looked painful. I heard the muffled screams he tried so hard to hide. The clothes he wore were tearing. He was trying so hard to hold back.

But by the growl I heard, I know he couldn’t fight it much longer.

His clothes ripped as he shifted.

A large white wolf replaced a body.

He shook his fur and growled louder as he got up. I gave him a second before I moved from behind the tree in the neighbor’s yard. He didn’t have his focus on me so I was careful.

When I took a step forward, that’s when he looked to me. I didn’t move again until I thought it was safe for me to go. He kept his eyes on me, still snarling, and I knew it wasn’t the right idea to try and calm him down but I wanted to do it anyway. I took another step forward and held my hand out for him so he knew it was safe. I know he might’ve been startled so I didn’t want to provoke him.

I was close enough to touch him. I still held my hand out, and he sniffed my fingers which made me hesitant. After a second, he bowed his head down and he let me pet him. My heart stopped racing after that. I brought my fingers in his soft fur as I took a deep breath. He scared me for a second.

“I feel bad that you go through this.” I said quietly, my other hand rubbing around his neck.

His fur was much thicker today. He was warm, too.

“Are you going to go missing for the next few days again?” I asked.

He just sat down on his hind legs like he wasn’t going anywhere.

“I can’t bring you in the house like this.” I said to him. If he wanted to come inside, he had to change back again, and I don’t know if he had the strength for that. “Can you change again?” I asked him.

There was a small whine that came from him.

“Alright, I’ll leave the basement door unlocked for you.” I said to him as I turned away so I could go inside.

I know he won’t do anything if I’m there so I did leave the door unlocked and I left clothes for him to put on.

It took him ten minutes but I’m not one to complain. I was sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come up. I read my book quietly as he sat next to me.

“We need to talk.” He said.

I closed my book and looked at him so he knew he had my attention. I didn’t want to ask questions just in case he might not say anything.

“About...us, if there is an...us.” he said quietly, looking away.

“Okay.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

I didn’t like that he said that, but I know why he did. Earlier was a scare for him. Of course he didn’t want us to get together when something horrific could happen to me. What if I didn’t get away fast enough? Would he hurt me?

“Okay.” I said again, though I was a little sad.

I like Ty, I really do, and that means I have to respect him. I don’t want him worrying about me.

“You’re not...mad?”

“Mad? I’m not going to be mad that you’re worrying about my safety.” I said and tried to convince him that nothing was wrong. “Yeah, I might be upset later, but you said you have to work on yourself first, and I want to give you that chance.” I told him.

He had nothing to say to that.

The way he stared at me was like before, the way that makes me a little nervous. I don’t know what it is, but he doesn’t even have to say anything to me for me to understand. He looks at me like he’d risk it all.

I shouldn’t tease him for it.

He came closer to me and I closed my eyes before his lips pressed to mine. This time I wasn’t surprised.

The kiss didn’t last long, not as long as I would hope.

When he pulled away, I pouted.

“You can’t do that.” I said quietly. “You can’t say we can’t do this but kiss me anyway.” That’s what upset me.

He can’t have it both ways.

“And you can’t look at me like that.” I said because I caught his glance. I know that look.

He’s doing it again.

“Like what?” He didn’t stop.

“Like you want to kiss me again.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he came closer and he kissed me again. I’m mad that I can’t say no to him. He shouldn’t have it both ways but I didn’t try to stop him.

He didn’t pull away this time.

I got more eager to be close to him, to touch him. But it wasn’t fair. It’s like he can’t decide and I needed him to.

I pulled away this time, but I didn’t go far.

“It’s either you want this or you don’t.” I whispered to him.

He wouldn’t answer me. He wouldn’t tell me what he wants. Is he that confused?

He stayed close to me. I could feel him breathing on me. His lips were hovering right over mine. He has to decide if he wants to or not. I know I’m putting him on the spot but he doesn’t get it both ways.

“It’s a wolf thing, huh?” I asked him.

“Mhm.”

“You don’t get to have it both ways.” I said quietly.

It wasn’t fair to him either. I was baiting him. I hadn’t moved away from him. I wanted to keep kissing him, I almost tried to. We weren’t being fair to each other, and we had to figure it out.

He finally moved away from me.

“I get this weird urge to be near you.” He said quietly. “It’s distracting.”

He distracts me. So I understand.

“I know better than to get...to do anything, but now I can’t help it.” He looked down, his cheeks a faint red.

“We can figure it out.” I reassured him.

I know Channing said that Ty wanted to figure this out on his own, but I don’t want him to be alone in this. If he needs the help, I’m here for him, and I’ll do my best to get him through it if he needs me.

“I, um...thanks.” he said as he played with his hands.

We sat together for a while. Ty didn’t want to talk anymore, so I told him things. I remembered that he told me all about his mom’s side of the family, the stories, the legends. So I told him about my family, how my dad will never let me bring an animal home ever, and that if I’m caught holding on to anything with fur he’d yell at me. Ty laughed at all the stories I told him when I was younger. I always brought things home and my dad hated it.

I just like animals.

If I ask my dad for a dog, knowing all the things that’s been going on with the random wolves coming out, he’d have a panic attack.

I wanted something to be done about the forest being torn down.

And we know that Conrod is at the root of the issue.

“What did Channing say about what’s going on?” I asked Ty.

“He wants to do something, but he doesn’t know the right approach.”

“I’m pretty sure eight wolves can make a statement-”

“To Animal Control, yes.” Ty was also worried about that.

Animal Control has been out a lot more recently, and they’ve been responding to a lot of calls about the wolves. It’s not like anyone knows what to do. The wolves would disappear into the forest until they come out again.

“I’m sure he’ll figure out something before it’s too late.”

But honestly, Ty didn’t seem that hopeful. It didn’t matter who said anything, or who protested. The wolves could literally scare all the hunters and construction workers, but Conrod will find a way around it. I wanted to believe that Ty and his brothers will come up with something to stop all this.