His Soft Fur

The snow was even thicker today. School had been canceled, it said so on the news, right before the missing kid report. Mom and Dad went to work. I have the whole house to myself. I usually just watch TV or do my homework on days like this.

It took a couple hours, but the sun finally melted some of the snow, and the roads weren’t dangerous to drive on.

I wanted to go to the local library and study for a while in a different environment. I couldn't focus, I guess I had my mind on a lot of other things.

I walked outside in the snow and this time I didn't slip. I was careful where I placed my foot today and I was aware of where the ice was. The air was crisp and I saw my breath when I exhaled. I kept my hands in my jacket pockets, my right hand clasping on tight to my keys.

I looked and saw the white wolf sniffing around again. I didn't move and it didn't notice me. I stayed quiet. I should probably go inside but I didn't turn.

It's probably more scared of me than I am of it.

The wolf looked up towards me but it didn't move closer. It stared then it looked down again, sniffing around my car.

I know I was scared yesterday, but I like animals and I wanted to pet the wolf. It looked lonely, and deserved to get it's fur rubbed. I figured that yesterday it was just as frightened as I was. Maybe it's lost from it's family. I took a few steps towards it till I was standing right in front of it.

It didn't growl or snarl.

It still had it's attention on the snow. I reached my hand out slowly and that's when it turned towards me, standing tall on his four legs. I backed away abruptly, not sure what it was going to do, but it stood there, just waiting for me.

I've never been close to an animal this big before. I slowly reached my hand out, not touching it yet be because it was staring at my hand, and I was hesitant. Then it closed it's eyes and bowed its head down so I could reach where it was acceptable to touch.

My fingers dug into it’s white fur, being buried in the thickness, feeling it’s warmth. I heard a huff come from it as I continued to rub the thick white fur.

It sat on its hind legs as I continued to rub its head. It growled lowly, not threatening, but almost like it liked being rubbed.

“You’re just scared, aren’t you?” I said quietly.

My fingers buried deep in it's fur of it's neck and I felt it's breathing as it looked at me with blue eyes. It's tongue fell out of it's mouth when I got to a good place to scratch.

“I wonder how you got all the way here.” I said.

Maybe this wolf really is lost.

I looked in it's blue eyes again and to me it just seemed like it had all the answers. I bet it would tell me if it could, too.

"You have to find your family." I said quietly, smiling because I wanted to show it I was friendly.

It got up and towered over me again. I withdrew my hand, and it turned to walk away and leave, going towards the tall trees buried in the white snow.

That was it.

It just went away.

If I told my dad I wanted a pet wolf, he would yell at me for sure, but now the thought was crossing my mind. I just wanted to love it with all my heart.

I went to the library like I planned. All that was on my mind was the white wolf. I wanted to know if it had a family, if there were more around, and if it was going to come back. I've never seen such a large animal before, and it didn't try to kill me today, so I wanted it.

I remember the look in it's eyes. I almost wanted to say it looked...trapped. It's a gut feeling I had, but there was something on it's mind.

I wonder if it’s looking for something.

Usually, I’m not that desperate to find things out, but I like animals, and I want to know more. I wanted to figure out how to be friendly to this one. I know I was supposed to study, but I found myself in the animal section because I don’t know how to restrain myself. I knew better than to waste my time, but here I was doing just that. I picked out one book on wolves and took it back to a table where I had my stuff.

There weren’t a lot of people in the library today. No one is ever bothered. Usually it fills up more towards the end of the semester because all the kids want to study for their finals. Today it's just me and the books.

I read the book for a while. I learned regular things I already knew about wolves, genus, species, types, how vicious they can be, how they travel in a pack. There was more like mating cycles, caring for their young, hunting seasons and all that. I got about a third of the way through the book when I realized that I should be studying instead. I closed the book, and looked up to reach for my bag, but stopped when someone slid into an open chair next to me.

I recognized that cologne anywhere. I tensed up before looking up at Cina's face. He was smiling at me and it's because he knows he annoys me. I drew away immediately to get some space but he was all over mine. I didn't know what to tell him.

His dark eyes were on my face, just looking at me, and I didn't like it. Sometimes, he has that puppy dog look where he tries to play his brown eyes on people. And other times, he's just...he looks at people a certain way that makes them squirm in their seat. For some, it's a good thing. For me, it wasn't.

Let the harassment begin.

“Was yesterday not enough for you?” I said, my tone flat, like usual, as I grabbed my bag to get my textbook out. I even scooted my chair to the side, away from him.

“Looks like you were day dreaming, sweetheart.” he continued to smile at me.

Sweetheart...Why does he call me that? I don’t like that.

He needs to stop it.

“We didn’t finish what we started yesterday.” he said before I could comment on how I have a name. He reached to touch a strand of my hair, but I stopped him, smacking his hand away from me.

“You started sniffing me,” I said, and I clearly remembered that.

He was so close to me yesterday, I could feel his nose brushing against my cheek. That's how close he was.

“You smelled different.” he said and his nose wrinkled like he smelled something...? What is he talking about? “Just like today.” he added as he looked me up. That made me tense up, like he wanted to fight, and I should be ready. But he smiled again, and touched my hair.

This time I didn’t hit him.

He twirled a strand of it around his finger. What I was stuck on was the fact that he said I smelled different. I don’t use different shampoo or cologne or anything. I almost wanted to sniff myself to know what he was smelling. But how the hell does he usually know what I smell like? Cina only gets in close proximity once in a while, but two days in a row? I don't know about that one.

“I-I don’t know what you mean.” I said, slightly confused, and now I was self conscious.

“Come on, sweetheart-”

“Its Gabriel.” I corrected. I didn't want to be called sweetheart and he knows that.

“I said what I said.” he let go if my hair and touched my neck instead.

I couldn't help but swallow thickly because I was nervous. His fingers rested on my skin gently. If he wanted to, he had the perfect angle to push my hair to the side. I've seen him do that on anyone with long hair when he's flirting.

This is sexual harassment.

I wasn’t going to hit him again, but I was slightly hostile when I tried to push his hand away from me. He just held my hand, and that annoyed me more. When I looked into his eyes, he smiled again. I’m not going to lie and say that Cina can’t be charming, because he can be. Considering that he has a different person wrapped around his finger every week. However, I find his charm overbearing sometimes, and it makes me want to fight.

What saved me was another brother coming to grab him and get him away from me. Brendan wasn’t gentle either. He got Cina out of the chair and pushed him back.

“What’d I tell you?” he asked his younger brother.

“He smells again,” Cina complained.

That’s disrespectful.

I pressed my nose into my jacket and took a whiff. I smelled the same, and I wanted to let him know that I smell good. All the time. I don’t know what his problem is, but there’s no way that I smell any different than any other day.

“I said leave him alone.” Brendan said. Cina groaned obnoxiously and walked away, almost stomping. The library was quiet so everyone could hear him throw a fit. “He’s annoying.” Brendan said, and that was the end of that.

At least, that’s what I thought.

He sat down in the chair next to me, and that made me tense up again, this time with fear. What is he going to do to me now.

He didn’t know what to say, but he wanted to say something. I watched, waiting patiently because he was actually trying to be pleasant.

Just like his older brother, Brendan is really smart. I just hear that he doesn't put in the effort. I guess I can understand why when he thinks everything is overrated. But Brendan is not a pleasant or nice person. He can come off as rude by how he says things and he doesn't have a filter.

So I was a little surprised to know that he was carefully choosing his words. That's the only reason I waited.

"Ever since...our brother went missing, we’ve sort of been on edge.” he said slowly, playing with his hands. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to justify Cina’s behavior or not. “You don’t happen to know anything, do you?” he asked, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him look desperate.

He asked his questions like I knew something.

I didn’t know how to answer that. I didn’t know anything. But what got to me was this sort of glimpse of hope he had, like he thinks I know something. I barely ever talk to Ty. And it’s sad to say this but the first couple days he went missing, I didn’t even notice. It’s terrible, I know, but it was the truth for me.

I didn’t know anything.

“No." I couldn't tell him anything else. "I’m sorry.” I said.

I felt sad, too. All they want is to know what happened to their brother. And Ty was so nice, he didn’t deserve to go missing.

“Its fine.” he said as his nose wrinkled.

I narrowed my eyes when I caught that. They all doing that! I don’t smell different!

Before I could say anything, Brendan was up out of the seat and he walked away without saying anything else. He wasn’t convinced by my answer, but I have no idea what he wanted from me. I can't give it to him. I don’t know what any of the Martin brothers want from me, but I don’t know anything about their brother.

And I certainly don’t smell different.

I stayed at the library for the rest of the day.

Now and then, I heard people talking about Mr. Conrod developing the small neighborhood that I live in. There were only a few houses, but everyone that lived there thought it was enough. There were multiple neighborhoods around, but they were small.

We don’t need more houses.

I didn’t agree with any of it, but I didn’t want to enter the conversation to give my opinion about something that’s not going to change.

I went home before the library closed. As I drove home, there was talk about what Mr. Conrod was going to do on the radio.

It's like I can't find peace anywhere.

Just in a couple months, my neighborhood will be developed, the mall will have another section to it. There will be more things that we don’t need. He’s only doing this because he has a lot of money and wants more of it. The tourists are really giving in to what he has.

This used to be a nature town, and everyone that lives here likes that.

We have our own grocery places, the locals make money producing things themselves. If Mr. Conrod decides to put a Walmart somewhere, it's over for them. The mall was already planning to ruin the local shops that sell clothes and other hand made goods.

No one ever had a problem with how things are here.

It’s quiet.

Nothing ever happens.

I would hate for this small, quiet town to become a large city just because Mr. Conrod can’t help himself.

I stayed in my car because it was cold outside. I buttoned up my jacket and pressed my face into my scarf as I mentally prepared myself to be in the cold for just a few seconds. I liked seeing the snow, but it was always so cold in the fall and winter. And this was only the beginning, this heap of snow will become mountains once it's the winter. I stared outside, keeping my hands in my jacket pockets. It's time for me to go in.

As I got out of my car, I heard noise behind me. It was a low growl that made me spin around quickly to see what it was.

There were six wolves, all of them a different shade of brown. I pressed up against my car when I couldn't take a step back.

In the middle, there was a large black wolf, and it snarled at me, rage in it's blue eyes.

They all walked closer, growling and snarling at me. The black one had stopped moving, still growling lowly as it sat on it's hind legs, and the others continued to stalk closer to me. There was conviction in the way it looked at me, like it wanted to do something, but it didn’t.

I was staring back because they hadn’t moved any closer to me. My heart had already sank in my stomach, but I could this pulsing heat going through my body. I heard my heart beating in my ears. I was so frightened that I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I even held my breath.

They were waiting for me to do something.

I couldn't run because my legs were stiff.

My hands were clutching tight on to my bag as I kept my eyes on them.

When they all sat down, that's when I felt a little better, but they were watching me. The fear was slowly going away, but I still kept my guard up. I was leaning against my car, waiting for it to be safe for me to move away.

When the black wolf got up, so did the others. Now they were quiet, the growling just quiet whines.

They were... they're here for the white wolf aren't they?

I don’t know where it was or if it was coming back. The black wolf turned away and so did the others, walking away to go back towards the forest. I waited till they were completely gone before I thought about moving. My legs were still stiff as I kept my eyes on the forest.

There was a howl in the silence, and then that was it.

Then I just rushed to the front door so I could get inside.

I wanted to find the white wolf. I wanted to help it get back to it’s family, but I was stunned.

What do I do now?

I went by the large windows to see the view of the backyard that was covered in white snow. When I looked to the forest, I didn’t see anything move out. All the wolves were gone.

I was almost compelled to keep staring for a while longer. The white wolf has to be around somewhere. It's family was just here. They have to find it.

It almost reminded me of Ty and how hard his brothers were looking to find him.

The white wolf showed up around seven at night. My parents weren’t home yet so I thought I could go outside. I left through the back door and walked on to the porch. The wolf perked up when it saw me, standing on all fours and playing with the snow. I walked down the steps so I could get to it.

When I got close, the wolf sat down, waiting on me as I trudged in the snow.

I put my hands in it’s soft fur, feeling it’s warmth.

“Other wolves came around here.” I said to it quietly. It began to tense after I said that. “Are they looking for you?” I asked, like it could understand me, but I was talking to myself.

It moved it's head down lower as if in sort of shame. I rubbed behind its ears and it seemed to perk up again like before.

It nudged me back with it's head. It got up on all fours and continued to move me, making me walk backwards under the porch, near the basement doors. The porch blocked the setting sun from us, and now it felt colder.

It got down on all legs and laid down quietly. I wasn't sure what it wanted just yet, but it looked comfortable laying there. I got down slowly and sat against the wolf, feeling the warmth of it's body consume me.

I ran my fingers through its fur, feeling how soft it was. Its eyes closed as it put it’s head down, opening it’s mouth to let it’s tongue out. I smiled to myself as I continued to rub it’s fur. I got closer, burying myself against it. There was a low growl that came from it’s chest when I rubbed where it liked it most.

The warmth made me comfortable enough to fall asleep.

And I did.

When I woke up, it was dark. It was cold outside, but I was sweating from this heat I felt behind me. I was buried against the wolf. I don't know how long we were out here but I have to go inside before I freak out my parents. I had finally snapped out of my tired trance when I realized the wolf was breathing hard behind me. It was panting.

I moved abruptly but it didn't. My hands pressed down on it but it didn't calm down. It continued to breathe hard, a small whine coming from it like it was in pain.

There was something wrong. I felt it's muscles tighten again and again as it breathed hard.

I had no idea what was wrong and I didn't know what to do. Was it sick? It was fine before I fell asleep so I don't know what happened.

I got up abruptly and thought of things to do. If I call animal control, they'll take the wolf away and I don't know what they plan to do with it. I don't know who to call so I was on my own with this. I ran out in the snow and got up the porch so I could get inside. I grabbed a bowl and set it in the sink, running water over it until it was hot. As I waited for the hot water, I went into the fridge to grab the meat my mom was thawing for dinner tonight. There was more in the freezer so I put that in the fridge.

When the water was hot in the bowl, I turned off the faucet and took that and the meat with me so I could get into the basement. I went outside through those doors and went over to the wolf. I set the bowl down, and opened the package of meat, hoping it would eat it, but it barely moved towards it.

The wolf didn't want it.

It laid there shaking and whining quietly in pain. I don’t know what to do. I know it was sick, but I didn’t know what to do to help.

I heard my mom’s voice from the front yard.

My parents are home! I can't stay outside.

I rushed inside the basement and went upstairs just as my parents walked inside the house. I brushed off the thawing snow from my shoulders when they came into the living room. I don’t know what they were talking about but they stopped when they just saw me standing there.

“Were you outside, Gabriel?” Mom asked.

“Yeah, I just got back from the library,” I lied.

“Its pretty late.” Dad said.

“I was helping a friend.” I lied again.

The two of them just continued their conversation as they walked by. Mom kissed my forehead then followed Dad into the kitchen. I heard her comment about the meat not thawing though it’s been in the fridge all day. That was my cue to go up to my room and mind my own business.

But I didn’t stay there long.

Just in five minutes, I found myself back down in the basement. I went outside slowly to check on the wolf that was still shaking miserably and whining from the pain it felt. It drank some of the water, but it was in too much pain to eat.

I didn’t know what was happening, so all I could do was sit there with it and hope it got better in a few hours.