Hell for Leather

When they finally stopped to make camp, Zeke chose a site that would offer them an unobstructed view in all directions. This left them vulnerable, but also increased their ability to defend themselves. They could see anyone coming for miles around them. Normally, Zeke would simply go without a fire in such a situation, but he wanted Alaine to be warm just as badly as he wanted her to be safe just as badly as he wanted her… no. He stopped himself. She was his charge and he would do his job. Besides, he reminded himself, she’s a married woman. He removed a small spade from his pack and busied his hands digging a pit hoping that doing so would also keep his mind busy. All the while, Alaine sat hugging her knees and watched him silently, hoping for a change in his mood, but there was none.

“What are you doing?” she could no longer keep quiet and she desperately wanted him to talk to her

“Digging a hole.”

“Are you planning on putting me in it?” her attempt at humor failed miserably. Zeke did not so much as crack a smile. Alaine sighed. She wanted him to feel better. She wanted to feel better herself, but that seemed impossible if Zeke wasn’t speaking to her. “Why are you digging a hole?” Zeke didn’t answer right away. He was trying to think of a good explanation that didn’t make his motives too obvious.

“So I can build a fire.”

“In a hole?”

“That way it can’t be seen.”

“Oh.” said Alaine, “That’s terribly clever.”

“Yeah, well,” harrumphed Zeke, “I didn’t invent it.” His sharp answer had the intended effect. Alaine’s mood sank and she never suspected that he was doing this just for her comfort. She put her chin on her knees and sulked. Sometimes he could be so cruel, she thought to herself, but other times, other times he was so caring that she felt bathed in light. This feeling was something new to her. Yearning, was it? She couldn’t be certain, but it felt the way poets had always described their own longing. She tried to remember some of that poetry from her school days, but it had long since turned to dust in her memory. Every so often, she would kick up a cloud and remember a fleeting sentence or phrase. Lately that seemed to happen anytime Zeke looked at her with anything other than disdain.

When Zeke was done, the pit was about two feet deep. He built a small pyramid in the bottom and soon there was a nice fire. Zeke untied his roll and readied his bed. Alaine did the same without speaking, placing her pallet on the opposite side of the small fire. If he didn’t want her to sleep next to him, she would not. She watched him ready himself and lie down, waiting for him to talk, but he said nothing. She laid herself down and pretended that she wasn’t watching his every move.

Between them, a warm fire was glowing, throwing up brilliant tiny sparks every now and again. Alaine watched as they floated up and disappeared. She could feel the heat on her face and wanted to thank Zeke for keeping her warm. Thank him for saving her life. It seemed so strange a thing to say that she kept it to herself for the time being.

For a long time, Zeke lay on his side, staring into the fire. Alaine watched as the shifting shadows danced on his face. He seemed older now, but not just because the fire made his crow’s feet more noticeable. It was his eyes. They seemed to be watching something far, far away. Alaine gave up the pretense of not noticing and propped her head up on her elbow.

“What do you see?” she finally asked, breaking the silence that lay over them like a blanket.

“What?” Zeke came back out of the flames, back to this time and place.

“When you stare into the fire like that, you go somewhere else. What do you see?” Zeke closed his eyes.

“Lots of things.” his voice was different in a way she could not describe. It was darker but much softer than usual. It made her heart ache.

“It doesn’t seem to be nice things.” she observed.

“Nope.” his voice was low, his eyes still closed against the images in his memory.

“You can tell me if you want.” her voice was filled with a sweetness he felt he could never deserve. In the golden light of the fire, Alaine could see a single tear drop from Zeke’s eye before he turned his back. For a moment, she could not believe that she had seen it. Maybe it was her imagination. She didn’t know what she should do. If he needed her, she wanted with all her heart to help him, but she had no idea how to do that. In the darkness, she thought she could see his shoulders trembling. Cautiously, she rose from her bed and made her way to him. With each step, she was sure he would turn and roar like a lion, but he did nothing. She knelt beside him and carefully put her hand on his arm. Immediately his hand was on hers, clutching it in his rough grasp. Sobs began to erupt from his chest and he turned to Alaine as she welcomed him to her breast, enfolding him in her warmth. She knelt there holding him as he wept. Slowly she stroked his hair felt all-powerful as well as uniquely privileged. No one had ever shown her such trust, such intimacy.

When she thought about it later, and she did think about it later, over and over in fact, she found she was unable to remember who initiated it. She remembered wanting to lift his face to hers, but even if she had done, it was effortless because he was so eager. In an instant, they were kissing. Fiercely. Passionately. His hands pulling her into him. Crushing her against his chest. She had never been kissed like this and she wanted more. She could feel his desire enveloping her like angel wings and she was sure he would tear off her clothes and take her then and there. She wanted him to, but he pulled back from her and looked away.

“We can’t do this.” he said to the ground with a voice like lead.

“Why not?” he shifted his eyes to meet hers.

“Because you’re married.” there was anger in him. She could see it as plain as day, but she had no idea why he was angry with her.

“So what do we do?” she finally asked. Zeke moved away from her, back onto his bedroll.

“We go to sleep.” he said with finality and laid down. Alaine did not move for several moments, waiting for him to return to her, but it was clear that he would not. She went back to her side of the fire and sat down. For a long time, she kept her eyes on Zeke who was again facing away from her. He was right, she knew. She was married but what did that mean out here? Moreover, what did that mean now? She was no longer the girl who had boarded a westbound train in Boston all those weeks ago. Her husband never saved her life and she doubted he was even willing to sacrifice anything at all for her. She longed for the kind of passion she had just experienced. She could still feel Zeke’s beard scratching her face as they kissed. She too turned her back and cried as quietly as she could.

Neither of them slept well.

When Alaine awoke the next morning, it was obvious that Zeke had been up for some time. His bedroll was already put away and all signs of the fire were erased. She looked about but couldn’t see Zeke anywhere. For a second, she thought he might have just left her there but that made no sense. She rubbed her eyes and got up to look for him.

He hadn’t gone far and she found him peering eastward through his spyglass. For a long time she stood beside him saying nothing but eventually the silence became too much.

“Anything?” she wanted to use as few words as he did.

“Yeah.” his answer was even shorter than her question and she thought about asking “what” but decided against it. She felt as though he were a skittish deer that would immediately flee if she made too much noise.

Instead she strained her eyes outward. At first she saw nothing. Gradually though, she began to notice two specks moving quickly across the landscape far away. She gasped.

“Zeke, they’re getting closer.”

“I can see that.”

“Why aren’t we running?” Zeke collapsed his spyglass.

“There’s nowhere to run.” he said, “There’s two of us on one horse. There’s nowhere to hide. They’d run us down.”

“What do we do?” fear spiked through Alaine’s heart.

“First, we need to find out who they are. For all we know, it’s just two travelers.”

“Then what?”

“I’m working on it.”

Alaine looked around. There were small bushes, but none big enough to hide them both. Zeke began hastily putting his plan into place.

From a distance, the two riders could see a lone horse and a man still asleep on the ground. They rode towards the small camp without saying a word. When they reached it, they dismounted with their guns trained on the sleeping form. There were the burnt down remains of a fire lying in a flat circle of ash and a small pile of gear. One of them circled around to the front while the other stood several feet away. The first knelt down next to the sleeping man and pulled the hat away. There was nothing. Before they could react, Zeke emerged from the pile of blankets and the saddle that he had made to conceal himself. In an instant, his pistol was in the back of first man whom he used as cover from the second.

“Zeke?” said the second man, “What the hell are you doing out here?” It was Clayton. Zeke was taken aback. This was unexpected. He then noticed that his hostage was Theodore, the son of a bitch.

“I could ask you the same thing.” replied Zeke.

“You make a habit of ambushing strangers?” Clayton’s voice was calm, almost amused.

“You in the habit of waking a fella up with a gun?”

“Fair point.” admitted Clayton, putting his rifle on his shoulder, “Do you mind terribly letting Teddy go?” Zeke pushed Theodore towards Clayton and quickly drew his second pistol so he could cover them both. Theodore swung around and brought his rifle up, aiming it square at Zeke.

“Easy. Easy.” said Clayton, “We’re all friends here.”

“Like Hell.” spat Zeke, “You knocked me out and left me for the law to find.”

“In all fairness,” replied Clayton coolly, “I didn’t knock you out, that was Samuel. What did you expect me to do? Carry you? We had to move. I mean, I could have just killed ya.”

“You could’ve left me my horse.”

“Well now I do apologize about that, but Zeke, let’s be honest, you had just ruined a job. But I do believe in forgiveness.”

“Is that so?”

“That and I could use your skills right about now.”

“Not interested.”

“I haven’t even told you what for.”

“Don’t care.”

“It’s a tracking job. No killing.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“I can see that.” said Clayton eyeing Zeke’s guns, “You mind pointing those pistols elsewhere?” Zeke didn’t move. Clayton smiled, “Isn’t there any way you’ll trust me?”

“Nothing comes to mind.”

“It pays real good, Zeke.” Zeke said nothing. “All right.” Clayton threw up his hands and turned back to his horse, “You can’t say I didn’t extend the olive branch.” Clayton mounted his horse. Theodore and Zeke were still standing with their weapons pointed at each other. “Come on, Teddy.” He said.

“We’re just going to leave him here?”

“What would you rather do?” asked Clayton, lighting a cigarillo.

“I say we shoot him.”

“Well,” Clayton exhaled a plume of smoke, “you can try that if you want, but old Zeke here is about as tough as they come and he’s got a mean streak in him a mile wide. Even if you blew his head clean off, he would probably still shoot you twice before he fell.” Zeke and Theodore stared at each other. Theodore blinked. “Use your head, Teddy. Let’s go. Zeke ain’t interested.” Slowly Theodore moved to his horse and mounted. “If you change your mind,” said Clayton, “or you chance upon an English girl, I’ll give you three hundred dollars for her.”

“That what a girl is worth to you?”

“She’s worth a whole lot more to the right man, you just have to know the right people, and you were never a people person, Zeke. That’s why we work so well together, my friend. Think about what I said. I could always use a good man.” Clayton and Theodore rode off.

Zeke watched him for a long time, making sure they were really gone. When he was certain they would not return, he bent down to the spot where the ashes were and brushed aside the burnt logs. He pulled back the blanket accidentally spilling the ash that he had used as camouflage all over Alaine who lay curled up in a tiny ball at the bottom of the shallow pit.

“You can come out now.” he finally said. Alaine stood and stepped out of the hole. She was covered head to foot in dust in ash. Zeke chuckled at the sight.

“What?” she smiled?

“You’re really dirty.” he started brushing the grime from her face and hair. For a moment, their eyes came dangerously close to each other. Alaine thought he might try to kiss her again, but he turned away and fetched his blanket out of the pit.

“We should get going.”

“Good job you dug that pit.” she said as Zeke hurriedly brushed off his blanket and rolled it up. “You are a constant surprise.”

“I reckon.”

“Who were those men?”

“Some fellas I used to know.” Zeke hoisted his saddle onto his horse’s back and began securing it.

“Are they the men who attacked the train?”

“No. They was out here looking for you. Seems Smythe is either inpatient or doesn’t think I’m capable. Found Clayton same as he found me, I reckon. Probably told him the same thing and sent them out here to find you.”

“I’m glad you found me first.” Alaine smiled at him, but Zeke’s gaze was still following Clayton.

“You have no idea.” he said grimly, “We better get going.” he repeated.

They set off in a somewhat more relaxed pace. Zeke was less troubled by the thought of evading two men rather than however many were left of the kidnappers. He reckoned they were two days at most from town. Two days from freedom. The thought of going home brought him comfort and calmed his nerves.

“How did you know those men?” Alaine asked when the silence became too much for her.

“We was in the Army together.” Alaine pondered this for a while before continuing.

“Zeke? What did you do in the war?”

“What do you mean?”

“What was your job?”

“I was a scout.”

“What’s that?”

“We tracked the movements of the Union soldiers and reported them back to our commanders.”

“Did you ever kill anyone?” Zeke didn’t answer immediately.

“Yeah.” he finally said.

“Is that what you see when you look into the fire?”

“Yeah.” And Hell, he thought to himself. Alaine wanted him to keep talking. She liked the sound of his voice and his accent, but he wasn’t the gregarious sort and she doubted she could have any influence on that, but there was nothing else to do.

“How long until we get back to town?” she asked.

“A day or two, I reckon.”

“Then what will you do?”

“I’m bringing you straight to that lawyer.”

“I meant more generally. After your name is clear.”

“I’m going home.” Alaine was quiet for a moment.

“Then what?”

“What do you mean?”

“What will you do there?”

“I hadn’t really given it much thought.”

“Really? That’s odd.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” said Alaine, “you’ve been through quite a lot just so you could go back home. I just assumed there was someone waiting for you or you had some reason besides just going back.” Zeke contemplated her point of view.

“Wouldn’t you want to go home?”

“Not as such.” replied Alaine dismissively, “Not so soon at any rate. I want to travel. See things.”

“Like what things?”

“Anything. Everything. The whole world. That doesn’t interest you?”

“I’ve seen plenty.”

“You’ve seen plenty of bad things.” corrected Alaine, “You should go somewhere you can experience something else.” Zeke was quiet again. Alaine went on, “You can come visit me in San Francisco.” Her voice was so sweet.

“I don’t think your husband would appreciate your entertaining gentlemen callers.”

“He wouldn’t notice.” she replied, “He doesn’t notice anything. Besides, he could at least make an exception for the man who saved my life.” Zeke wanted to ask her about her husband. She never seemed excited when talking about him and Zeke found that strange. He wanted to know why but he didn’t want to be obvious, though he wasn’t exactly well versed in nuance.

“Can I ask you something?” he finally said after many minutes of contemplation.

“Of course.” Zeke hesitated so Alaine went on, “You can ask whatever you like.”

“How come you never sound very happy when you talk about your husband?” Alaine had never thought of that.

“How do you mean?” she was genuinely oblivious. She considered herself a good wife.

“Well,” Zeke cleared his throat, uncertain of how best to put this, “every time you bring him up, you sound disappointed.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah. You do.” Zeke felt better, “Why is that?”

“I never realized.” now it was Alaine’s turn to be silent as she mulled this news over. For once, it was Zeke longing for conversation. She had chosen not to speak just when he wanted more. He wanted her to explain it all and make it makes sense. Alaine was silent.

“Well?” Zeke finally prodded.

“Oh.” said Alaine, “I don’t know.” She was at a loss for words, which Zeke found ironic, not to mention amusing.

“Don’t you have a guess?”

“I don’t think I’m disappointed.” answered Alaine, “It’s just,” she didn’t know how to explain it, “well when I was a little girl, I would imagine my husband as someone… different.”

“That sounds like disappointment.” observed Zeke.

“Does it?” Alaine was suddenly and inexplicably embarrassed.

“Yeah,” Zeke went on, “it does. So why did you marry him?” Alaine considered the question for a while. She never really thought about it.

“Well,” she gathered her thoughts, “he was a good man and my father wanted me to marry him. He worked for my father, you know.”

“No. I didn’t know that.” Zeke answered dryly.

“Well he did.” said Alaine with as much authority as she could muster, which wasn’t much, “It was a good match.”

“A good match?” repeated Zeke with a tone of disapproval that made Alaine feel defensive.

“Yes,” she replied with an edge, “a good match.” She wanted Zeke to argue with her but he said nothing, which made her feel like she needed to elaborate. She wanted him to understand. “You can marry whomever you wish,” she said, causing him to think of Rachel and the fact that what she just said depended heavily on the other person wanting you back, “because you depend on no one. I depend on my father therefore I must consider his wishes when thinking of my own. You don’t have to do that. You’re free. You’re independent.”

“You seem pretty independent to me.” remarked Zeke causing Alaine’s chest swell with pride. She liked, no loved, that he thought of her as independent.

“You’re also strong.” she said.

“And you’re not?” replied Zeke.

“Not like you.”

“There are different kinds of strength.” said Zeke. Alaine was silent as she thought about this.

“You really think I’m strong?” she finally asked.

“I think you’re a Hell of a lot stronger than you think you are.” an enormous grin spread across Alaine’s face, though Zeke could not see it.