Heartsong: Chapter 6
“And that’s it,” Michelle said, sounding dubious. “That’s all it was. They were busy.”
“It happens,” Ezra said as we sat in her office. “Life often gets in the way when we least expect it to. I don’t know that they can be faulted for that so long as it doesn’t continue. Especially after all they’ve been through.”
She sat back in her chair, the light from the screen of her computer reflecting in her eyes. “Neither of you suspect anything different?”
“I certainly don’t,” Ezra said. “Though I’m not a wolf. I’m not as… adept at picking up deception. And since they don’t have a witch, I feel we need to look to Robbie in this regard.”
They both turned to me.
I swallowed thickly.
“Robbie?” Michelle asked.
What makes you think I won’t do just that?
Because part of you knows I’m telling the truth. You can feel it, can’t you? It’s hidden in shadow, buried deep inside. Something… off. Do you dream?
I did. I dreamed in such sharpness that it felt like reality.
I said, “They’re busy.” Truth. “They have two young wolves.” Truth. “The Alpha herself is young, as you know.” Truth. “It would be a lot for anyone.” Truth. “But Alpha Wells is capable of many things.” Truth. “And I have no reason to believe she’s not doing what she thinks is right for her pack.” Oh, how easy it was to lie without actually lying.
Michelle nodded slowly. She was listening for any skip of my heart. There was none. “And they know they need to remain in contact from this point on?”
“They do,” Ezra said. “I impressed upon Alpha Wells when I met with her the importance of open lines of communication. She….” He stared off into nothing, mouth open.
I reached over and touched his arm.
He blinked as he looked at me. “I’m sorry. I just….” He shook his head. “Getting older. I recommend you avoid it if at all possible. The mind has a tendency to wander with age.” He smiled ruefully. “The Wells pack is in good hands, I think. They have much to learn, but I don’t know if we need to worry about this just yet. There are bigger things to focus on.”
Like an Omega hidden in the floor of a silo surrounded by unknown magic.
“Robbie, would you excuse us for a moment?” Michelle asked. “I need to have a word with my witch.” She glanced at me. “You did well. Thank you. And I’ll need you again in the next couple of days. My computer keeps making weird noises at me. I want you to take a look at it again. You know I’m terrible when it comes to such things.”
She was. She didn’t know a damn thing about technology. I’d always found it slightly endearing, how frustrated she could get.
I hesitated. If I didn’t say anything now, I never could. They wouldn’t trust me again if they ever found out I’d kept this from them.
And yet.
“Go,” Ezra said. “I’ll catch up with you later. Take a shower. You stink.”
I nodded at both of them and left the office, closing the door behind me.
The compound was busy, but I barely saw any of it.
I was lost in my head.
I had just lied to my Alpha.
Lied to Ezra, her witch.
And for what? A pack I didn’t know that was harboring an Omega?
What the fuck was wrong with me?
I accidentally bumped into another wolf. I apologized.
She frowned. “It’s okay.” But she hurried away, glancing back at me over her shoulder.
I stared after her as she disappeared into the crowd of people.
Something was… off.
People were milling about as always.
No one stopped to talk to me as they always had.
No one waved.
They glanced at me, but when they saw me watching them, they’d smile and look away. The barest of acknowledgments.
Not like they were scared of me, but…. I didn’t know.
I shook my head.
I was tired. That was it. I was tired and seeing things. Transference or some such bullshit. I felt guilty and I was projecting it onto others. It was nothing.
It was fine.
It was fine.
I needed to go home. Take a shower. Get some sleep. That’s all.
With a plan in place, I moved on.
And yet….
All I could think about was the look on Malik’s face as he cradled the Omega child in his arms, an Omega child caught partially in his shift, though he was too young to be able to turn wolf.
Can I trust you?
I’d said yes. I didn’t know why.
Why I’d said yes. Why he’d asked. Why he’d shown me what he had.
He didn’t know me. He didn’t know anything about me.
And yet….
There is a prisoner.
In your compound.
The ground swayed beneath my feet.
My head was starting to hurt.
I was going home.
I was going home.
Except I stopped in front of the house that held the prisoner. The one no one talked about. We all knew, sure, and we stayed away, but who they were and what they’d done was need-to-know only.
Santos was there again. Luck of the draw.
Funny how that worked.
He said, “I heard you left.”
“Assignment. That was all.” And, “It was only a couple of days.” And, “It was easy.” And, and, and, “Who’s in there?”
His eyes narrowed. “Who’s in where?”
I felt feverish. Overwarm and overbright. The sun pounded against my skull. There was magic here, oh yes, but it was familiar. I knew it because I knew Ezra. I knew the scent and taste of it. Magic was
(a fingerprint)
unique to… the… user.
The ground rolled.
I took a stumbling step forward.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Santos growled, catching me before I fell.
“I don’t know,” I gasped, trying to ignore that voice in my head, that voice that said a fingerprint because it came from somewhere inside, and I didn’t know it. I didn’t recognize it. I didn’t fucking recognize it—
That had to be it.
That had to be what this was.
Whoever was in the house was leaking magic, and it was warping everything around me. Whatever wards were around it had cracked, and this witch was using it to their advantage. Never mind that they were supposed to be stripped of their powers. No matter that whatever they’d done had been so egregious that they had to be locked away. It wasn’t working.
“Who is it?” I said through gritted teeth. “Who’s in there? Can you hear me, you bastard? Who the fuck are you?”
Santos shoved me back.
I fell to the ground, skidding in the dirt.
His eyes were orange as he glared down at me. “I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing, but you need to stop. You need to—”
I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but no sound came out.
I looked up at the sky.
It was blue, blue, blue.
And then I screamed, my claws digging into the earth.
The sky was on fire.
It burned.
It burned and I—
what are you doing
robbie
robbie
please don’t
please don’t do this
oh my god what’s wrong with you
you’re not
please please please i don’t want to die
please you’re hurting me robbie you’re hurting me
oh god no
no
let me go let me go LET ME GO LETMEGOLETME
robbie
robbie
ROBBIE
Blood filled my mouth when I opened my eyes.
It tasted good. Like fear. Like whatever I’d hunted down had been scared of me.
I craved it.
I rolled it over my tongue, coating it.
I swallowed it down, but there was always more.
So much more and I—
“There you are.”
I turned my head.
Ezra sat next to my bed in my room.
My mouth was not filled with blood. In fact, it was dry. I was thirsty.
“What happened?” I asked, voice breaking roughly. I cleared my throat. “Did I hurt someone?” I almost didn’t want to know the answer.
Ezra shook his head, expression pinched. “No. Of course not. You passed out. Santos found you. Said you were…. It doesn’t matter what he said. How are you feeling?”
“Like it’s the morning after a full moon. Foggy. Dull.”
“Hmm. Have you overexerted yourself, perhaps? It happens.”
“I don’t know. I just….” I shook my head. “What if something’s wrong with me?”
He scoffed. “There’s nothing wrong with you. I would know if there was. Would you hear me, dear?”
That made me feel better. If anyone knew how to fix this, it would be Ezra. He knew me better than anyone. “Yeah. Of course.”
“You’re special,” he said, pressing his hand against my brow. “More than you could ever know. And I will do anything for you. Would you do the same for me?”
“Yes. Yes.” My headache was fading. The blood in my mouth was nothing but a dream.
He nodded slowly. “Good. That’s good, Robbie. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you all these years. But there is nothing to worry about. You’re tired. Stressed. The dreams you’re having aren’t helping. I don’t know what they mean, and maybe they mean nothing at all. But maybe they do. I could ease you from them if you’d only ask. Take them away like they were never there at all.” His hand pressed harder against my brow. “Leave you to sleep and—”
He didn’t make a sound when I grabbed his wrist and snarled, “Don’t.”
He smiled sadly, even though I could feel the bones of his wrist grinding together. “Because they’re yours?”
I nodded as I let him go. He pulled his arm back, and I wondered if he would be bruised. I felt bad, but not enough to apologize. I trusted him, but I didn’t want him digging around in my head.
“Okay, Robbie. If that’s what you think. I’m here if you ever change your mind.” He frowned. “Or just need to talk. Can I give you some advice?”
“Yes.”
He sighed as he sat back in his chair. He looked pale, skin tight from worry. “You have questions, I know. Questions about who is in that house. Santos said as much, and I should have prepared for this better.”
I sat up quickly. “I wasn’t trying to—”
He held up a hand, cutting me off. “I thought it was for your benefit. I did. Given your history, it seemed like the wise thing to do.” He shook his head. “I should have known better. Secrets never help anyone, especially ones so monumental. The man inside that house did terrible things to many people. There was death because of him. And the only thing we could do was to keep him locked away from the rest of the world and strip him of all his power.”
“But how were you able to keep the witch from—”
“Witch?” Ezra asked. “What witch?”
“The witch inside the house. The prisoner.”
Ezra laughed. “Oh. Oh. Dear, there is no witch inside the house. It’s a wolf. A great and terrible wolf who wanted something that did not belong to him. But he can no longer hurt anyone. He’s… empty. A husk, hollowed out and dim.”
A wolf? But I’d felt…. I could have sworn there was magic, and it was leaking from inside, leaking until it— “A wolf,” I said weakly.
“Yes, dear. One whose name we do not speak because he lost the right.” He looked grim.
“What did he do?” I asked, sure I wasn’t going to get an answer.
Ezra sighed and looked down at his hands. “He took a boy once. A little boy. A princeling, or as close to one as we have these days. This wolf hurt the boy terribly, and it was only by the grace of the moon that he was saved. But not before the wolf forced upon him unbelievable torture that no child should ever have to know.” He looked terribly sad. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand such things. You would never hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. And while the boy wasn’t exactly… innocent, what was done to him was madness.”
“What the hell?” I asked incredulously. “What do you mean he wasn’t innocent? He was a child.”
“I know, I know,” Ezra said, holding up his hands as if to placate me. “But even children are capable of things we wouldn’t expect. And when you come from a family like his, one needs to exercise an abundance of caution. His family… they’re… well. Let’s just say they want something they can never have. Something that doesn’t belong to them.” He stared at me hard. “Something that will go against the very nature of the wolves.”
Alarm bells were going off in my head. I thought the walls were closing down around me. “What? What do they want?”
He reached out and pressed a hand against my arm, fingers circling my wrist. I could see the bruise already starting to form from when I’d grabbed him earlier, the dull ink on his arm red and inflamed.
“To see your Alpha gone,” he said. “To see the Alpha of all come tumbling down and to send our world into chaos. To integrate humans into the wolf pack. You of all people should know the danger of humans and what they’re capable of. This family does not care. They would take all that we’ve worked so hard for and enforce their will upon the wolves. And I cannot stand for that.”
“Why did you never tell me about this?” I demanded. “How the fuck am I supposed to protect her if I don’t know about any of this?”
He looked frail and weak. His hand shook against my wrist. “Forgive an old man,” he said quietly. “All I wanted to do was to keep you from all the darkness. To give you a life where you would only know peace after all you’ve been through. I made a mistake. I underestimated you, dear. I shouldn’t have. You deserve better from me.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s coming. I don’t know what the future holds for all of us. But if we are to survive, it’s important that you know who our enemies are. The man in the house. The prisoner. He is an enemy, but he’s been declawed.” He looked thoughtful. “But even then, he seems to be capable of some kind of hold. I wonder why that is? Tell me, dear. Why now? Why did this come about now? Did someone say something to you?”
Dangerous ground. “It’s all secret,” I said. “And I don’t like secrets.” It was a deflection, careless and rough.
But it worked.
He nodded. “I know you don’t. But it’s for your own protection. And for the protection of us all. He won’t be the last. I feel we are in for perilous times ahead.” He looked older than I’d ever seen him before when he said, “It’s time you know who the real enemy is. The ones who would take everything from us.”
“Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.”
Ezra said, “They are the Bennetts. And they will destroy everything if given the chance.”
He left me after securing a promise that I’d rest. He took my glasses from his coat pocket and set them on the nightstand next to the bed. Silly wolf, he said. You don’t need these. I love you, I love you, I love you.
I didn’t reply.
He was at the door when I said, “Omegas.”
He stopped. He didn’t turn around. “What about Omegas?”
“Have you ever seen one?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Oh yes. Poor creatures. Feral and dark. I can only imagine what it would feel like to have everything ripped from you, to have your tether shredded until it hangs in tatters. I think I would lose my mind too.” He glanced back at me over his shoulder. “Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering what else I haven’t been told.”
He winced. “I deserve that. And no, dear, I promise that you know everything I do. I won’t keep these things from you any further. You aren’t a child.”
“No. I’m not.”
He nodded. “Sleep, Robbie. We’ll talk more in the morning.” He closed the door behind him, leaving me alone.
I collapsed back down on the bed, trying to focus.
Bennett.
That name.
I knew that name.
Didn’t I?
Of course I did.
It was lost somewhere in the fog, out in the fringes, but I knew it.
Barely spoken aloud anymore.
They had betrayed the wolves.
They were the enemy.
And if they thought I was going to stand by and let them take my Alpha from me, then they were mistaken.
I would do anything to protect her.
Anything.
I didn’t dream of wolves.
Instead, there was a shadow above my bed.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t scream.
It leaned over me and whispered in my ear.
It said—
I opened my eyes.
The sky was gray through the window.
I blinked as I yawned, jaw cracking.
I heard Ezra moving downstairs in the kitchen. I could smell the terrible coffee he always made. I grinned to myself.
I pushed myself up out of bed, scratching my bare stomach as I popped my back.
I felt… good.
My head was clear.
I looked around for the jeans I’d been wearing the day before. They were folded on top of my dresser.
I frowned. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember taking them off and putting them there.
I shook my head. It was nothing. Yesterday was… well. It was what it was. And even if I only had a vague recollection, it was fine. Michelle was happy. Ezra was happy. I’d done a good job. They cared about me, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
I grabbed the jeans and sniffed them. They smelled all right. There was the scent of a foreign wolf on them, and… hay? When the fuck had I been around hay?
Whatever.
I pulled them on, letting them rest low on my hips. My wallet was in the back pocket. The front left pocket was bunched up, and I reached in to push it down.
Something was inside.
I pulled it out.
A small piece of paper. A sticky note. Bright orange
There were two letters written on it in my own handwriting. Dashes too.
I _ _ _ _E
I didn’t remember writing it.
I knew what it meant. It was a game from my mother, like Hangman. She used it to teach me how to spell.
INSIDE
I stared down at it. When had I put it there? When had I written it?
I went to my closet and opened the door, shoved aside the hanging clothes. There, at the back of the closet, was a small wooden panel. Even if someone was looking for it, they’d miss it. Ezra didn’t even know about it. I’d waited until he was out of the house the second week I’d been in the compound before I made it, cutting the wood at the back of the closet.
A hint of claw grew from my right index finger, and I pushed it into the hairline crack at the top. I pulled.
The panel fell away.
Inside (INSIDE) was a box that carried all my secrets.
I pulled it out and sat on the floor, the box in my lap.
It was plain and made of pine. It’d once been a jewelry box, but my mother had sold all its contents to fund our escape.
Now it was filled with little details.
Her driver’s license. She wasn’t smiling. I touched the small photo before setting it aside.
Sitting in the box in a corner was a stone wolf.
A gift for the one who would complete me. It’d been carved by the Alpha who taught me how to shift. He said I needed to keep it safe. Keep it whole. It was small and made of black stone, the ears perked, the tail curled around the wolf’s legs. I lifted it out and—
Underneath was a folded… card? I didn’t recognize it.
I set the stone wolf aside.
The card fell over in the box, opening slightly. A cartoon wolf at the top. I HOWL FOR YOU!!!
I picked it up and opened it.
A phone number and four more words.
FOR WHEN YOU’RE READY.
I frowned down at it. I didn’t know where it had come from. I thought back over the past few days. I’d… what? I’d gone to see Michelle a couple of times. She’d summoned me. Told me I was a good wolf. That she was proud of me. Ezra had been there. He was smiling. It was fine. It was great. It was wonderful. It was
(can i trust you)
just on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t remember, I couldn’t
(wolfsong)
focus on, I couldn’t fucking focus.
Why did it matter?
Maybe one of the younger wolves had snuck it into my pocket and I’d forgotten I’d put it in the box. Rumor had it that a bunch of the girls (and some of the boys) had a crush on me. It was sweet. I sure as hell wasn’t going to do anything about it, but still. I had to give whoever it was props for being so forward.
I put the other items back in the box and closed it. I set it in the small opening and put the panel back in place. Maybe Ezra would know what this was about.
I opened the bedroom door. “Hey, Ezra,” I called out as I walked out of my room. “You’re never going to believe what I found. It’s—”
A pure white wolf stood at the end of the hall. Its head almost touched the ceiling. Its ears twitched.
I froze.
The hallway began to twist and bend, the siding cracking as pictures fell from the wall, glass shattering on the floor. The wolf took a step toward me as the ceiling split. The walls were bending, and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even take a step back, and the wolf, the wolf took another heavy step toward me, its paws almost as big as my head. Its claws scraped against the wood floor, leaving long scratches.
The house disintegrated around me, the walls exploding outward, the ceiling rising and cracking.
And then it stopped.
The wolf grinned.
It had many teeth.
I said, “Who are—”
The wolf ran at me.
I braced for impact.
The moment before it struck me, its eyes filled with a bright and terrible red, and the Alpha—
Passed right through me.
I bent over, clutching my head, the paper digging into my ear as wolves howled in my head, pulling, pulling, pulling.
They sang:
I HOWL FOR YOU!!!
I HOWL FOR YOU!!!
I HOWL FOR—
“Robbie?”
I opened my eyes.
Ezra stood at the end of the hall, head cocked, wiping his hands on a dishtowel.
The house was as it always was.
The pictures hung on the walls.
The ceiling was intact.
There were no grooves in the floor.
“You said you found something?” Ezra asked. “What is it?”
I stared at him.
He smiled.
“Nothing,” I said slowly. “It was… nothing. Just… a book I thought I lost.”
He nodded. “Funny how that works, isn’t it? We don’t even realize what we’ve lost until it’s right in front of us once again. It’s good to see you up and about. Come. Let’s get you fed.”
“Be right there,” I said.
He turned and went back to the kitchen.
I looked down at the crumpled note in my hand.
FOR WHEN YOU’RE READY.