Haelan’s Desire (Walk Through Shadows Book Four)

The next morning Em was fast asleep when Haelan slipped out of the room. The heavenly aroma of freshly baked pastries and coffee that accompanied his return half an hour later pulled the cobwebs from her sleepy brain. She squinted at him as he set a cloth covered plate and two small mugs down on the shelf on her side of the bed.

Em hummed softly and rolled onto her side. “Can you get any more perfect?” she murmured.

Haelan chuckled as he sat down on the bed next to her hip. “I’m just trying to make up for what happened last night.”

Em caught the blanket against her naked chest as she sat up and leaned her forehead on his shoulder. “You already did that.” She cleared her throat. “A few times, unless that was a dream.”

“I believe you were awake.” He brushed her hair from her face as she looked up at him. “But I want to be sure I’ve been forgiven.”

“Oh, ya?” she asked as he leaned down to kiss her.

“Mmm, yes,” he said against her lips. “As you may have noticed, I’m in love with you, lass.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, then reached up to pull him with her as she laid back on the bed.

Haelan braced his hands on the mattress and kissed her before lifting his head with a reluctant groan. “Stars, you are tempting.” She stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. He grazed her nose with a fingertip and straightened. “We’ve slept most of the morning away. Faine and Lorakalyn should be back soon. Once they’ve arrived, we’ll have a few hours till we depart.”

Em lifted her head and shoved the pillow against the headboard, then wiggled higher in the bed. “Is his lofty highness still here?”

“Sadly, yes.” Haelan reached over to pick up a mug and handed it to her. “His staff took over the kitchen first thing this morning, and now poor Mornan is entertaining him in the courtyard.”

Em took a sip of coffee and sighed. “Is he still mad about last night?”

Haelan picked up his mug with a little laugh. “I think the coffee Faine brought for Mornan mollified him, it’s a delicacy in this region.” He looked down at his mug for a second. “Even if it didn’t, I’m not going to rebuke Faerwald.”

“But he yelled at the guy,” Em said over the rim of her mug.

“His reaction to Aglanthol’s meddling was more heated than I would have liked.” Haelan’s shoulders went up in a shrug. “But he knew we needed privacy.” He took a sip of coffee. “He was ensuring we had it.”

Em snickered. “With a whole lot of enthusiasm.”

“We prefer to call it passion,” Haelan said, then reached for the plate. Em shifted sideways and set her mug down. He twisted in his seat, set the plate on her outstretched legs, and lifted the cloth. “The elves call these apple puffs.” Em looked down at the small square shaped, golden brown, flaky pastries arranged on the plate. “You’ll need this.” He passed the cloth to her as she selected a piece. She took it in her free hand and held it under the square as she lifted it to her lips. He smiled as she took a bite and closed her eyes with a delighted sigh. “Aglanthol’s servants made them this morning, I find them a little sweet for breakfast but there’s nothing wrong with indulging every once in a while.” Em nodded as she chewed. “If Faine is lucky, Lorakalyn knows how to make them.”

“Maybe I should ask if she’ll teach me,” Em said, then took another bite. Haelan smiled at her as he reached out and swiped at a small dollop of apple filling that had been smeared near the corner of her mouth. Em’s gaze followed his finger as it travelled to his sexy lips, then slid between them for a moment. The butterflies living in her stomach woke up in a shimmering display of happiness.

“If she does, I may have to join one of those gyms Bastion has been going on about,” he said with a grin.

Em dropped the cloth and poked his bicep. “He just wants to see you with your shirt off.”

“I thought he wanted to help me stay in fighting form.”

“Liar,” she said through a giggle. He wiggled his eyebrows, then took a quick sip of coffee. “Where are you going?” she asked as he stood.

“While I was absconding with your breakfast, one of Aglanthol’s maids pulled me aside.” He looked down at his mug for a moment. “She asked if I could speak with one of the other maids.” Em’s head tilted. “She suffered a loss last year.”

Em dropped the pastry on the plate and wiped her fingers on the napkin. “Poor thing,” she murmured.

“Our visit here is timely for her,” he said with a sad smile. “Unfortunately, she is coming to the end of her fertility. While I can’t help in that regard, I’m happy to take this pain from her heart so she and her mate can try again.”

“Try again?” she asked.

He nodded once. “Before it’s too late.”

Em blinked a couple of times. “She’s older?” The corner of Haelan’s mouth dipped down in a half frown. Em moved the plate from her legs to the middle of the bed and swung her feet off the side. “Can anyone do anything to help her?”

Haelan squatted down in front of her and smoothed the blanket against her leg. “I’m doing what I can,” he said with a reassuring smile.

“I meant to prevent a miscarriage.” She caught his fingers with her free hand. “What about healers or mages? Can’t they do something for her?”

“If there was a way, be it magic or herbal, to ensure every female could bear at least one healthy child, I would personally make sure that knowledge reached every part of the realm.” He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to the back of it. “No one, who wants it, should be barred from that joy.” He watched her close her eyes for a moment and squeezed her fingers. “Can you do something for me?” Em nodded. “Faerwald is still in his room, but if you could keep him away from Aglanthol until I return—”

“Sure,” she said. “I’ll ask him to go for a walk or something.”

“Perhaps a flight up the mountain? The view from the summit is beautiful,” he said as he stood up. Em tipped her head back as he leaned down to kiss her. “Take Beamard if you do, though.”

“I will.” She used the hand that he released to make an ex over her heart. Haelan kissed her once more, then moved around the bed. Em shifted around to watch him. He stopped near the far corner and bent over. When he straightened, he was holding the chemise. “Can you—”

He waded the fabric up into a ball. “I’ll throw it in a fire.”

“Thank you,” she said with an embarrassed smile.

“Finish your breakfast,” he said, then went to the door and opened it. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Don’t rush,” she said. He gave her a wink, then slipped into the hallway. Em grabbed the plate and leaned back against the pillow. She ate the rest of her apple puff, finished her coffee, then set the plate and mug on the shelf, and flipped the blanket off to stand next to the bed. Her gaze moved over the rumpled bed as she stretched her arms overhead. With a lusty groan, she pushed herself onto her toes and smirked as the muscles in her thighs ached. Haelan was not only a considerate and giving lover, his barely restrained enthusiasm for her body had made her toes curl repeatedly, till she was sure it wouldn’t be possible for her body to respond to his passion. It was one instance she was happy to be proven wrong.

By the time the two of them had snuggled up together and fallen into an exhausted slumber, the panic that had gripped her earlier was a distant memory. Em dropped onto her heels and padded around the bed, searching for her robe. She found it tucked under the end of the bed, pulled the garment on, then yanked the blanket around on the bed to get it into a semblance of order.

Once she was satisfied with the bed, she went to her own room and took her belongings from the closet. The flight leathers were laid out on the bed next to her bag. After picking out a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, she packed her dress away, then gathered up the clothes she’d chosen and left the room.

Beamard was leaning against the wall near the end of the hallway, just around the corner from Faerwald’s room. He straightened quickly. “Good morning, lass.”

“What’s left of it,” she said with a grin.

“Afternoon is a good hour away,” he replied as his shoulders lifted in a shrug.

She looked over toward Faerwald’s door. “Is he up yet?”

“No,” he said. “I thought I heard something earlier, but it was—” He cleared his throat.

“One of the servants?” Em asked. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

He glanced down the hall at Aglanthol’s door. “She left right before her lord went to the courtyard.”

Em frowned. “After what happened between him and Faerwald, I hope he didn’t get her in trouble.”

Beamard smiled as he stepped closer to her and twitched his left wing, opening it a few inches before closing it against his back. “I don’t believe any of the elves saw her.”

“That was nice of you.” He gave her a nod. “I’m going to shower and get dressed. Would you mind waking him up? I would do it, but who knows what I’d be walking into.” The corner of her mouth lifted. “I know it’s not your job—”

“It’s fine, lass,” he said with a smile. “Prince Haelan said he would like to keep him away from prince Aglanthol, to avoid further friction.” Em nodded. “I’m sure, between the two of us, we can keep him busy till we leave.”

Em’s lips turned up in a big smile, then she turned to head down the hall to the bathing room. “Back in a bit,” she called over her shoulder.

When she left the bathing room twenty minutes later, Beamard was gone and the door to Faerwald’s room was closed. She went to her room, leaving the door open so she could see when Faerwald came out, and shoved her robe into her bag, then fished out a hair elastic from one of the side pockets. Once it was in its usual spot on her wrist, she combed her damp hair back with her fingers and looked around for her sneakers. They weren’t on the floor under the bed, so she went to the closet.

She found them in the back corner and had just finished tying the laces when there was a sharp rap on the open door. It was Faerwald. She straightened and shoved her hair out of her face. He stepped into the room with a wide smile on his handsome face.

“Emmeline.” He dragged out her name, emphasizing each syllable, as he walked toward her. She took a quick step back while throwing her hands up, palms pointed at him. He wouldn’t be dissuaded, though. Her hands connected with his loosely tied tunic, then got smashed against his chest as he enfolded her in a hearty embrace.

“What are you doing?” The question came out of her in a squeak.

“Greeting my second mother—”

“I am not,” she said as she pushed her hands against his chest.

“Father said you’re his true mate,” he said with a confused frown as he released her.

Em leaned to the side to look past him at the open door. Beamard was back in his spot across the hall. She hurried to the door, gave Beamard an apologetic smile, then closed it and turned back to Faerwald. “We didn’t mate last night,” she said. “Not in the way you’re thinking.” Her heart squeezed as his wings dipped with his shoulders into a posture that could only be interpreted as dejected. She waved at the bed and waited for him to take a seat.

Once he was sitting, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I just assumed, when he agreed to explain it to you, that you’d finish the process—” He made a rolling motion with one of his hands. “After we left.”

“Is that why you got so loud when Aglanthol tried to speak with your dad?” she asked as she stepped closer to him. “You wanted to make sure he didn’t interrupt us.”

He nodded, then clasped his hands together as his gaze dropped to the floor. “We’ve waited so long—” His voice cut off and he cleared his throat.

Em moved in front of him, then knelt on one knee. “For your dad to find a mate?”

“To have a mother,” he mumbled. Em reached up and gripped his knee for a second. His lips curved into an embarrassed smile. “You think I’m being childish.”

Em shook her head. “No, I get it.” She squeezed his knee, then let her hand fall onto her bent leg. “Losing my family left a big hole in my life.” She looked down at the floor. “I thought nothing would ever fill it.”

“Has that changed?” There was a hopeful note in his tone.

“It’s starting to.” She sat on her heel and looked up at him. “Reconnecting with Isabelle, being around everyone in your family, the way you guys helped me—”

“We care for you,” he said.

“And I care about you guys.” Her hand lifted and settled on top of his. “A lot.” She took a deep breath. “I love your dad.”

His eyebrows went up as he lifted his head. “You do?”

“Very much but—” He groaned when he heard her “but.” “We’re taking things slow for now.” She shifted her weight back. “You saw what happened last night, I’m still dealing with things.” He nodded. “We just need some time. Besides, humans usually take it a lot slower than faeries, to make sure we’re sure about a person.”

“I’m sorry that my excitement got the better of me,” he said with a sheepish smile.

“It’s okay,” she said, then got to her feet. “We have some time to kill before we’re supposed to leave. Your dad suggested a flight to the mountaintop, but he’s busy healing someone—”

“It will be my pleasure to take you,” he said as he stood.

Em reached out and gripped his arm for a second. “I’ll wait here while you get cleaned up.”

He nodded once, then went to the door. He paused with his hand on the knob. His wings twitched, then he looked over his shoulder. “May I say one more thing?”

Em grinned. “Sure.”

“I know I’m biased, but if you’re concerned about whether he would be a good choice to have children with—”

“You don’t have to vouch for him. No one would ever question how much he loves you.”

Faerwald nodded, then turned back to the door and opened it an inch. “Em.” He said her name softly, almost as if he was afraid to say anything more but couldn’t help himself. “I’ve always wanted a younger sibling.” Em’s breath caught as she listened to his whispered confession. “Someone who’s admiration I could earn, as an older brother, not as a prince of the realm.” He took a breath and opened the door a little farther. “Help them choose their first weapon or teach them how to make the wreaths for Beltane, show them where to find the prettiest flowers, and help them hang them over your door.” He stepped across the threshold then turned back to look at Em. Her eyes were sparkling while her hands were pressed against her stomach as she took in the look of intense longing in his eyes. “All our lives we’ve taken our wreaths to mother’s grave tree.” His lips turned up in a sad smile. “It would be nice to start the celebration with joy, to honour a living mother,” he said softly. The slight smile on Em’s lips trembled as it grew. Faerwald cleared his throat and swiped at his eyes. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”

All Em could do was nod with a weak wave of her hands. Faerwald pulled the door closed and Em sank down to the edge of the bed as the weight in her chest built. The weight wasn’t entirely made up of the sadness his words invoked. Mixed into it was gratitude and love.

If she mated with Haelan, she wouldn’t just gain a life partner, she’d have stepsons and a daughter-in-law. An entire family of her very own. While they couldn’t replace what she’d lost, they would definitely make her life brighter.

She stared at the door for a long moment. “Really hard to say no to that,” she whispered to herself.

So don’t say no. The reckless side of her said. The other half of her stayed silent.

“I haven’t,” she murmured as she stood and walked to the door. Beamard smiled at her as it opened. She moved into the hallway and jerked her head at the door. “You’re probably wondering—”

“No lass,” he said. “I could divine what the conversation was about by his highness’ statement.” Em looked down as her cheeks flushed. “It’s none of my business, but—” She looked up as he leaned closer to her. “I think you’d be a good second mother to them.”

Her eyebrows went up. “I’m not sure how you can say that considering you barely know me,” she said with a laugh.

“I’m an excellent judge of character,” he replied with a wink. The mischievous glint in his eyes grew serious as he continued to speak. “And I saw how you interacted with them both last night. Faerwald, in particular, seems to be very protective of you, despite your attempts to quell that behaviour.”

“I just didn’t want him to ruffle Aglanthol’s metaphorical feathers,” she said with a shy smile.

His head tilted. “You’re not from this realm and yet you already understand the balance the royal family must maintain.”

“It’s just common sense,” she said.

The door to the bathing room opened, and Faerwald stepped into the hallway. Em gave Beamard a smile, then turned to watch Faerwald stride toward them. He grabbed Em’s hand and looped it around his forearm without stopping. Em spun around with him.

“I think we should fly Em to the top of the mountain, then use a modified Windsong stack to show her the valley,” he said to Beamard. “Give her a chance to experience it like us.”

“What’s a Windsong stack?” Em asked as she hurried to keep up with Faerwald’s steps.

“You’ll love it,” Faerwald said.

“It’s created when a faerie flies directly above another or several others, matching their speed, of course, to make it more difficult to discern our numbers from the ground,” Beamard said.

Em looked back at him as they came to a stop at the front door. “Why is it called a Windsong stack?”

“It’s named for its creator,” Faerwald answered as he opened the door and stepped out into the sunshine. “My grandfather’s closest friend, Deamol Windsong.” He bent and hooked his arm behind Em’s knees. Once he had her securely against his chest, he leapt up with a twist that sent them spiralling into the air. They left the House Wynbell home behind with Em’s shriek of laughter trailing behind them.

Ten minutes later, as Em was sandwiched between Beamard and Faerwald, with her hands braced on Beamard’s thick shoulders, and Faerwald’s muscular arms wrapped around her waist, she was treated to a sight no other human could claim. The land past the base of the mountain was carpeted by the flowering apple trees of the Wynbell orchards. It was, without a doubt, one of the most picturesque views she’d ever seen.

They spent twenty minutes gliding along the side of the mountain then over the orchards before making their way to the tent that had been erected for the guards outside the Wynbell home.

“Don’t forget to tell Isabelle about that,” Faerwald said as he set her down.

Em grinned up at him. “She’s going to be so jealous.”

“Maybe it will encourage her to practice with her wings more,” Faerwald said. “Then she can take that same flight when uncle Alasdair brings her here for a visit.”

“Is she still wobbly with landing?” Em asked as they moved around the tent to the entrance.

Faerwald nodded. “I’m going to go pack and then find something to break my fast.” He looked down at Em. “If we’re lucky, Aglanthol has left to supervise the clean-up efforts in the clearing.”

Em smiled. “If he hasn’t, can you please—”

“If he doesn’t start anything, neither will I,” Faerwald said. The tent flap opened and Caernach stepped out. The prince nodded to him in greeting. “Are you coming lass?”

She shook her head. “I thought I might see if your dad has finished with that maid.” Faerwald smiled at her, then turned on his heel and headed off to the front door.

“I saw his highness going in that direction,” Caernach said and pointed to the trees to the right of the tent. “With one of Aglanthol’s people.”

“A maid he was asked to help,” Beamard said.

Caernach inclined his head. Em turned to him. “Hey, I wanted to thank you for what you did last night.”

“It was my duty,” he said. “A difficult one to uphold given the participants.” He finished his sentence in a low tone.

“I don’t suppose it’s an everyday thing to pull a sword on your prince,” Em said.

“You did what?” Beamard asked with a scowl. “When did that happen?”

Em’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “You were talking about Faerwald and Aglanthol,” she murmured.

Caernach held her gaze for a moment before he looked at Beamard. “There was a brief misunderstanding before the argument between Faerwald and Aglanthol,” he said.

“Sable was just trying to protect me,” Em said in a rush.

“From Haelan?” Beamard asked.

“He appeared to be mating with her, but she was trying to get away from him,” Caernach said softly. “She was screaming.” Beamard’s gaze moved back to Em’s face. “He said he’d lost control of the magic.”

Em nodded. “When I saw the magic, it made me think of something,” she said. “Of someone, and it scared the hell out of me.”

“She must be his true mate.” The trio turned to see who had spoken. It was Elmas. He was standing in the doorway to the tent, smiling at Em. “Stars be praised, he’s found you at last.”

“Who’s found their true mate?” Taveon asked as he pulled back the other flap.

Em groaned as Elmas explained. “This is why Haelan had us swear to keep it to ourselves,” Caernach murmured to Em as the guards moved to join the trio. “The rest of you will have to swear it as well.”

“Of course,” Beamard answered for the group. Both Elmas and Taveon nodded in agreement. Em eyed them for a moment as they grinned at her. Beamard turned to his brother. “This explains it though, doesn’t it.”

“Explains what?” Em asked.

“Just something we noticed,” Elmas said with a wave of his hand.

Em crossed her arms under her breasts. “What did you notice?”

“That Haelan has been happier in the last few months,” Taveon said.

Em rolled her eyes. “Bullshit, that guy is always happy.”

“A good amount of the time, yes, but no, not always,” Beamard said.

“Well, of course not. No one is happy all the time, but you know what I mean,” she said and waved a hand at him.

“They’re right, lass,” Caernach said in a thoughtful tone. “He has been different. There’s a lightness about him.”

Everyone fell silent as the maid Haelan had gone to speak with stepped out of the trees. She stopped as Haelan came out behind her. They all watched as he took her hand and accepted her tearful thanks. Haelan’s gaze stayed on her as she turned to hurry toward the front door, then swept over to the group.

“Now do you see?” Caernach asked Em. She smiled as Haelan’s eyes settled on her. “When he looks at you, it’s as if the weight of the realm has lifted from him.”

“You guys are seeing things,” she said as she left them to walk to Haelan. When she stopped in front of him, he glanced over her shoulder at the guards. “It’s okay,” she said as she rested her hands on his chest, then slid them higher to grip his shoulders. “They all know.”

Haelan smiled as his hands moved around her waist to pull her closer. “Did you make them promise—?”

“Sable did,” she answered as she pushed herself up onto her toes. Her eyes closed as his wings moved around her in the same moment his lips brushed hers. Haelan groaned as she pulled at his shoulders.

The guards watched them for a few moments, then, after Beamard clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, they left the couple to enjoy a bit of privacy. Every one of them had a cheerful expression on their faces.

Even if they couldn’t speak of it openly yet, not one of them would begrudge Haelan his happiness. He’d suffered more tragedy in his life than most, and he deserved all the joy the stars would give him. As the group entered the tent and gathered their belongings, each one of them prayed nothing would take her from him.

Had they not been distracted by their hopeful musings, at least one of them might have noticed the grey smudges of clouds that seemed to be gathering over the borderlands.