Guardians of the Dark

Samael sat in the armchair for quite some time, his arms looped over the armrests, his legs crossed, and his eyes on General Bentley Traynor. He breathed to the steady rhythm of the monitor, of the General’s heartbeat. Beep. Beep. Beep. The lighting was still bright-red, although the commotion in the street had died down.

Doctors and nurses ran around again, collecting the remaining patients, although they were yet to stumble upon him. His instincts told him to get away before they did, but his mind told him to sit, to relax, to breathe. The city was already in chaos. What could he – the General’s attacker – possibly do to worsen things?

Samael stayed put, even as the elevator doors opened in the corridor, and footsteps approached the room. He didn’t so much as flinch when they entered the doorway, skidded to a stop, and a nurse shrieked aloud.

“Hey ... who are you?” the only doctor demanded to know. She spread out her arms as if to protect those behind her, although she was thin, lanky and frail. Her eyes flicked across Samael’s attire, and she gasped.

“It’s – It’s,” stuttered the nurse who had initially shrieked.

“Indeed, it’s Samael.”

Samael waited for the doctor to add the last bits to his name – to his title and reputation – but she didn’t. He turned his head to the group, where a woman fought her way to the front. She was overly slim, had long, ash-blonde hair, and wore little makeup. He vaguely recognised her. No, more than that. A feeling of remorse, an unexplained nervousness, lined his stomach, and he felt as though he was sinking, drowning.

“Samael,” she said with tears in her eyes, “is that really you?”

No answer.

Marian Traynor spread out her arms and rushed toward him, but stopped just short of the hospital bed. She looked from Samael to the General, and her lips curled down. “Are – Are you here to kill my husband?”

Still no answer.

Samael chewed the inside of his left cheek. He wanted to look away – anywhere else than at his once mother – but her eyes, still glistening with tears, sucked him in. His lips moved without him intending them to. “No.”

Marian relaxed. Not entirely, but enough for her to gather her shawl and settle her shoulders. She stepped aside for the doctor and nurses to pass, but they stayed cemented in place, their faces expressionless.

“Please,” she said to the doctor, “take my husband to the bunker now.”

The doctor took a moment, but at last reacted. She motioned for the nurses to round the bed and gather the monitor, but they too stayed put. She snapped her fingers – “Come on people, we don’t have much time!” – and they complied, although hesitantly. The nurses kept as far away from Samael as possible, constantly checking up on him in the corner. Any other Corrupted would’ve growled at them, but he didn’t feel like it.

Samael followed the General’s bed with his eyes, all the way to the door and into the corridor. The doctor paused in the doorway – “Mrs. Traynor, aren’t you coming?” – but set off again when Marian shook her head.

“I just need a minute,” she said.

Samael promptly looked out the window. The room felt different – lighter, almost – without the General there. His head buzzed less and his throat didn’t sizzle as much. His fingers didn’t itch to strangle the man, and he no longer had to repeat his promise to Kasen in his mind: that he wouldn’t kill his father.

Seconds passed in which Marian Traynor just stood there, staring at him. Samael avoided her gaze, mostly because he wanted to remember her the way he always had: warm and loving. As with Kasen, he had a picture of her, smiling at him, in his mind. He recalled having cut her, but not her face when he did.

She only ever smiled at him.

And he couldn’t lose that too.

“What do you want?” asked Samael when the tension grew too thick for him to think straight or breathe right.

Marian stepped forward. “Samael, I …” A pause. “You’ve grown so much. I hardly recognise you.”

“Well, it’s been fourteen years.”

More silence.

“C – Can I hug you?” asked Marian out of the blue.

Samael’s heart tremored. His breath thinned and his mind went blank. She wanted to hug him, the man, the Corrupted, who had attacked her husband? Why? Perhaps she hid a knife somewhere, and wanted to stab him in the back. A list of theories crossed his mind, but he nonetheless got to his feet, turned toward her, and nodded.

Marian charged across the room. She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled her head against his chest. She smelled of rose-water, a scent ever as familiar to his nose. Her grip tightened and Samael tensed. His arms hung by his sides, his eyes wide and his lungs unable to inflate. What should he do now? What did she want him to do? He touched her back with his left hand, but it felt too wrong, too foreign, so he recoiled.

“I’ve missed you so much!” she exclaimed into his clothes. She pulled back, placed her hands on his cheeks, and looked him right in the eyes. Her own eyes waxed over. “Let me have a look at you, my big boy.”

This proved enough to snap Samael out of it. He took her hands off his cheeks and stepped back, away from her.

“You’re not my mother,” he said.

Marian’s face fell. The gloss in her eyes thickened, almost to the point of overflowing. “Don’t you dare say that, Samael.” She made her hands into fists. “I pretty much qualified for the title when I changed your diapers.”

“I’m a murderer, not a son.”

“No, Sam –”

“I tried to murder your husband, and I killed Kasen’s friend. I drove a staff through both their hearts, then left them there to die.” Samael couldn’t hear himself above his pounding heart. He kept his gaze on Marian’s forehead instead of her eyes, as he couldn’t bear to witness her disappointment when she realised the truth.

When she realised what a monster he was.

Samael straightened. He tried to slip past her, but she grabbed his right forearm. “That wasn’t the real you.”

“Open your eyes,” whispered Samael with his head down. “I’m no longer that little boy you found in the Dark. Even that little boy was a monster. He wasn’t worth your time then, and he certainly isn’t worth your time now.”

A pause.

“Why else would you have abandoned me out there?”

Marian tightened her grip around his wrist. She reached out with her free hand, and raised his chin so he was forced to look at her. He managed to avoid it. “Don’t punish me for my husband’s mistakes,” she said.

Samael shut his eyes. He leaned in to her touch, relishing the warmth of her hand. He had thought about her touch for sixteen years – wondered how anyone could deal out so much comfort with only her palm and fingers – but could never quite recall it. He thought of Kasen, of the murderous look in his eyes, and of Theon and everything he claimed. Theon’s words resurfaced in his mind, and he at once pulled away.

“You’re not my mother,” he repeated.

Marian solidified. She stayed that way – silent and still – even when he scraped around her and walked across the room. Samael’s feet dragged with every step, and his throat tightened, swelled. He stopped in the doorway, tensing his muscles. He shouldn’t turn around. He should just walk away, out of her life.

But he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“No,” said Marian, “I am.”

Samael spun. She stood right behind him. He looked down at her, at her shiny forehead, greasy hair, and soaked cheeks. Tears pooled in her eyes, each one rolling down upon its turn. She didn’t shake or convulse, or even pull her face. She sobbed without really sobbing. Silently, gently, and with more grace than seemed possible.

“I should never have allowed him to do that,” she explained. “I should never have allowed him to take away my son.”

Her Son.

Those two words echoed through Samael’s head.

“What’s going on out there?” asked Marian, suddenly less miserable-looking. She wiped under her eyes and approached the window. She rubbed the glass clean, then surveyed the street outside. “Why are you even here?”

Samael stayed in place by the door. “You should enjoy your time left in the Light. It’ll be gone pretty soon.”

“What? No … you’re going to do something about it, right?”

“I can’t do anything.” Samael shuddered when the words crossed his lips. “I’ve been corrupted for too long.”

Marian frowned. “No, Samael, you haven’t.”

“Maybe not before, but I recently found out what happened to my parents. My real parents. I was bred for the Dark, dubbed a killer by birth. I only have one purpose left in life: to murder the man who murdered my parents.”

Marian didn’t enquire about his identity. She simply shook her head, walked up to him, and grabbed his upper arms. She rubbed up and down his biceps. “That’s false,” she said, “you were raised in the Light.”

Samael made to speak, but she forestalled him, “The Dark might surround you, but you’ll always have the Light in your heart.”

“H – How can you be so sure?” Samael wanted to know. His eyes tingled, but he sniffed and it went away.

“If you were really Samael of the Dark, you wouldn’t just have sat here, staring at my husband. If you were really as bad as you think you are, you’d have killed him that day of the attack. You’d have killed me too.”

Marian pulled Samael into a hug again, and he couldn’t help but tear up. This time, despite his best efforts, he couldn’t keep his arms by his sides. He wrapped them around her skinny body, and pulled her into him.

“Where’s Kasen?” she asked, her voice muffled in his neck.

“He went to Craedor Fortress, to warn his friends against the Corrupted. They’re heading there to pull the switch.”

Marian abruptly pulled away. Her body filled with adrenaline, and she paced around in one spot, shaking her head and hands. “No, my baby … Kasen.” She looked to Samael. “You have to help him, he could die!”

Samael gazed past her through the window at the buildings outside. He observed the Northern Collection Point in the distance, billows of smoke puffing at the sky. He thought of his past fourteen years in the Dark, and how he used to glance at the Metropolis of Light, wondering what it was like to see daylight again, to feel the sun’s warmth on one’s skin, and to relish the many colours, scents and tastes the city offered.

“Samael, please,” Marian pleaded.

He bit his lower lip. If Kasen got hurt, she would die for sure. And he’d never be able to forgive himself for that.

“I’m on it,” he said, almost automatically.

Marian moved in to hug him again, but he turned and left the room before she could. She trailed after him into the corridor, but didn’t follow him to the stairwell. She flashed her wrist across the panel by the elevator.

“Samael,” she said before he descended down the stairs.

Samael gazed over at her.

“I love you.”

The words passed right through him, electrifying his insides. Samael parted his lips, but couldn’t bring himself to say it back. He at least managed a grin, which seemed to suffice, as Marian blushed a little. Then, he skipped down the stairs as fast as possible, her words still floating around with many others in his mind.

I love you.

Samael shook his head, then tapped his transmission band to call Carrie. It rang multiple times before she answered.

“Samael! Everything alright down there?”

“It better be, since the AOL is totally creaming the Roamers!” came Yung’s voice from somewhere beyond her.

Samael talked as he raced down the stairs. “Are you guys watching the battle from somewhere nearby?”

“Sort of. We’re right by a bunch of camped-out Raiders,” said Carrie. “Why do you ask? Do you need us?”

“Yep, things have changed.” Samael ran through the lobby and burst through the doors onto the sidewalk. “I need you to sneak past those Raiders into the canyon. There’s a tunnel at the end. I’ll let you into the city.”

“O – Okay, but why?”

“I’ll explain everything when you get here.”

Yung cheered in the background. “We get to go on a top-secret mission? Cool! I’ve always wanted to try –”

“Guys, calm down and listen up, this is serious! You think you’ll be able to do it, you know, sneak past the Raiders?”

“Pfft! Those guys are too busy napping and goofing around, I bet we could walk right past them without being noticed.” Carrie laughed to herself, then cleared her throat. “See you in a bit, boss. We won’t disappoint.”