Gifting Me To His Best Friend (A Touch of Taboo)

“Emma.” Grayson’s voice has a fondness that suggests he’s said my name a few times. I open my eyes just as he catches my hand and tugs me up. “Let’s go inside.”

I’m so distracted by my thoughts, I barely register what we’re doing until Grayson leads me into our bathroom and turns on the shower. I glance back at the door and frown. “Derek?”

“He’s going to take a shower in his bathroom and join us after.”

“He’s running.”

Grayson lifts his brows. “Emma, we have this until the snow clears. It’s okay for him to take a shower alone.”

I search his face. He’s always been good at hiding his emotions when he needs to, but it’s been a very, very long time since he’s tried to hide them from me. He’s locked down right now. Completely closed up. I walk to him and slide my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “I don’t like thinking about the end, either.”

Grayson sighs and wraps his arms around me. “You’re too damn observant.”

“Hard not to be when I’m feeling something similar.” I give him a squeeze. “You don’t have to hide how you feel, not from me.”

“You’re my wife.”

I already know where he’s going with this. “And you’re my husband. But that doesn’t change the fact that we both care about Derek.”

Grayson frames my face with his hands. “You are first for me, Emma. Always. I meant every word of those vows when we were married, and I mean them now.”

“I did, too,” I whisper. Now’s the time to speak up, to tell him what I want just like I have every other time before in our relationship. “Grayson…” I take a deep breath and shore up my courage. “We’ve never had what most people call a conventional marriage.”

He searches my face. “There are limits.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why should there be limits? If it’s what we want—what we all want—then why not do it? We don’t give a shit what other people think now. Do you honestly think that’s going to change in the future?”

He slowly shakes his head. “It’s about more than us. Don’t you think Derek deserves someone who will put him first? To be more than just a third to a couple wanting to play with kinky shit?”

“Grayson.” I narrow my eyes. “You have never shied away from what you want. Not once in all the time I’ve known you. Until now. Derek is a grown man. He can make his own decisions just like we can. But don’t you dare cheapen what we’ve shared this Christmas. He’s our friend. He’s…Well, I think it’s pretty obvious he’s more than that to both of us.”

He tenses against me, and I brace for an argument, but Grayson finally sighs. “He is my best friend, Emma.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“Even if we were fully onboard, he’d never go for it.” For my husband to admit as much means he’s thought about it, too.

I take his hands and lead him into the shower. “But what if he did?”

His eyes are still filled with all the complicated emotions in my chest, but he smiles down at me. “You say that like you have a plan.”

“Calling it a plan is exceedingly overstating things.” Now it’s my turn to hesitate. “I love you, Grayson. So much that sometimes it feels like my heart will shatter ribs and burst right out of my chest.” I take a slow breath. “But doesn’t it feel like something’s clicked into place with Derek? Like the three of us just fit?”

He ducks under the spray for a long moment. When he wipes water from his face, all the complicated mess is gone, replaced by resolution. “Yes.” He searches my face. “You’re sure?”

“As sure as anyone can be in this situation.” I try for a smile. “You were right in the hot tub, even if we were playing games then. It’s going to be impossible to be around him without slipping up. The connection is too strong.” I hesitate. “I think it’s too strong for all of us.”

His smile turns wry. “I suspect you’re right.” He glances at the door. “Derek might not go for it.”

“Grayson, you’re underestimating your charm. You know better.” I grab soap and start lathering up my body. “It’s simple enough to get the conversation started. We seduce him.”

He barks out a laugh. “Baby, you’re a gift.”

“That’s precisely what got us into this to begin with.” I grin at him. No matter what else happens, Grayson and I are solid. This won’t change that truth. I believe that down to my very soul. But I also meant what I said. We could be more. Not because we’re deficient in some area, but because Derek adds something we didn’t even realize we needed. He’s already been playing that part to some extent by nature of our friendship. I want him to play it in our bed and home and future, too. But it can’t just be me pushing this.

I sober. “If you don’t want this…”

“I do,” he says it on a sigh. “Fuck, but I do want this.” He looks down at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. “Does that make me a selfish man, Emma? To want you and want him, too?”

“Probably.” I smile. “But then it makes me a selfish woman, too. I want to have my Grayson and eat my Derek, too.”

He gifts me with another of those free laughs. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

We don’t speak again as we finish washing off and step out of the shower. I take the time to dry my hair and pull on my silk robe. Grayson waits for me, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was nervous. Hell, if I didn’t know better, I’d think I’m nervous, too.

We walk out into the main room to find Derek has built up the fire again. The snow continues to come down steadily, and I’m glad of it despite the headache it’s going to be to deal with flights and the like. Speaking of… “We should probably call the airline.”

“I’ll take care of it.” Grayson heads for his phone, pauses to kiss Derek on the temple, and then retreats back into our bedroom. If he sees the thunderstruck look on his friend’s face, he doesn’t stick around long enough to react to it.

I walk into the kitchen and Derek slides his arms around me seeming without thought, his gaze on the door my husband just closed. “Hey,” I murmur.

“Hey.” He finally looks down at me. “You look happy.”

“I am.” I smile. “I don’t know about you, but this has been the best fucking Christmas—pun entirely intended.”

Derek laughs. “I’m not even going to try to argue that. I don’t know how you’ll top it next year.” His hazel eyes shutter, though he makes an obvious effort to keep his smile. “A printed tie isn’t going to cut it.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I slide my hands up his thick stomach and chest. “Especially if I tied you to our bed with it and Grayson and I have our wicked way with you.”

“Emma.”

I ignore the warning in his voice. “Grayson’s probably going to be busy for a bit.”

“Uh huh.” He motions at the kitchen. “It’s been a hot minute since breakfast. We could use the calories.”

“Oh, definitely. Calories. Yep.” I hook my hands into the top of his lounge pants. “I’m starving.”

“Emma.”

“Derek.” I mimic his serious tone and give him a sweet smile. “I haven’t had your cock in my mouth yet and I’m dying for it. After I suck you off, you can feed me.”

His brows draw together. “How am I supposed to argue with that?”

“Easy answer: you’re not.” I tug on his waistband, towing him out of the kitchen and into the living room. I pause. “The question you should be asking is whether you want me to give you a blow job, or whether you want to fuck my mouth.”

He rumbles out a laugh and walks over to sit on the couch. “Wanting me to do all the work. Greedy.”

“Always.” I sink between his big thighs and he lifts his hips enough for me to free his cock. Derek’s been on his knees so often for me in the last day. It feels right to have our positions reversed, to be the one doing the seducing, even if he doesn’t realize that’s my aim. I wrap a fist around his cock and lick my lips.

If someone asked me a week ago if I loved Derek, I would have answered that of course I do. He’s Grayson’s best friend, and he’s my friend, too. Of course I love him.

In my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn’t as uncomplicated as that, even before this Christmas. As I look up into his roughly handsome face, I feel the words bubbling up in my throat. Words that he’s obviously not ready to hear. Words guaranteed to make him run, snowstorm or no. I can’t say them. Not now. Not until we’ve played out our seduction and made the case for turning our couple into a throuple.

I swallow the words down. I swallow Derek’s cock down, too.

He sifts his fingers through my hair and pulls it back from my face. If I thought about it, I’d have put on some red lipstick, but there’s something pleasing about this. No artifice, not really. Just us. I take my time, enjoying myself as I explore him. The reminder that we’re not in a rush makes it hotter this time. I can play with him until we both are ready to explode.

Derek gives my hair a tug. He’s breathing hard already, his eyes glazed as they watch his cock disappear into my mouth. “Fuck, Emma. You love this as much as I do, don’t you?”

I hum my assent and stroke my hands over his thighs. He’s so big. It makes me shake with need and I don’t bother to resist snaking my hand between my thighs to stroke my clit. This holiday has made me oversexed and I’m going to be sore for a fucking week, but I don’t care. It’s worth it. It’s more than worth it. If this ends when the snowstorm does, I want to know I didn’t miss a moment of it.

“You’re stroking that greedy little clit, aren’t you?” He exhales and leans back against the couch. “Get up here, Emma.”

I ignore him and keep sucking his cock. Derek looks at me as if he can’t decide whether to drag me up his body or let me finish him off. I make the decision for him, reaching between his thighs to cup his balls. I give him a squeeze and just like that, his fingers tighten in my hair and he’s thrusting up into my mouth.

There you are.

I relax instantly, letting him drive this, trusting him. It’s a little rough and a whole lot sexy, and when he comes, I drink him down without hesitation.

Derek hauls me up into his lap and kisses me. He wraps his arms around me and I feel so fucking safe, I’m suddenly sure I can stay like this forever. I clamp my mouth shut to keep myself from saying something that will ruin this moment. He’s been as all over the place as Grayson and I have been, and if we’ve settled on an endgame we’d like, I don’t know if Derek has.

I don’t know what we’ll do if his endgame doesn’t match ours.

He rests his chin on my head. “Merry Christmas.”

“A very merry Christmas.” I snuggle closer. “Grayson mentioned that you’re cutting down on travel.” Derek’s spent most of the time I’ve known him bouncing from city to city for jobs, staying long enough to see his design put into reality before he moves on. He keeps a home in New York, but he only comes back for a few months at a time in between projects.

“Yeah, I got an offer at a local company. It’s a different set of responsibilities, but the pay is good and it means I only have to travel if shit goes sideways with a project.”

My heart leaps and I lift my head. “So you’ll be around more?”

“Around is relative since you two moved out to Brooklyn.”

I snort. “It’s a train ride away.” But even as I say it, I know I’m a liar. Yes, it’s only one train ride, rather than a flight or something like that, but it might as well be a different city for all Derek is going to make the regular trek from Manhattan.

Unless we give him reason to.