Chapter 40 ~ Are you confident?
Soreness galore.
That’s what greeted me when I awoke the morning after.
I blinked my eyes lazily as my body twisted and turned in the sheets bunched around me. I could feel Leon’s presence right beside me yet the space next to me was empty.
I squinted my eyes as I looked up curiously, finding him back behind his computer in full focus mode. I leaned up and rested an elbow on the bed, leaning my face into it and just watched as he typed away on the computer.
“Good-morning,” he muttered, eyes glued to his screen.
I asked curiously, “What are you doing?”
“I’m making a report of the recent observations in the Triden district.”
“The Triden district?”
“Yeah, it’s a country in the kingdom that’s known for its constant crime and violence. It’s been really quiet lately so I have reason to believe that something is going on. I’m sending someone to investigate once I’m done with the report. I’d have loved to check for myself but my actions are somewhat restricted right now.”
I frowned, “Why?”
“Glacial City. They’re keeping tabs on my movements right now, so I can’t move around recklessly. The second I turn my attention off of them, I know they’ll launch an attack on us.”
A thoughtful look entered my eyes, “Is that why you’ve been on standby with the whole rogue king rumors?”
“It’s a part of the reason, yes.”
I got off the bed with the sheet clutched in my hand and wrapped around my naked frame, then padded carefully towards him, my lower region a bit sore from our recent late night activity.
I tried to peer over his shoulder curiously but was surprised as he quickly turned around and pulled me down to sit on his lap, his lips instantly claiming mine in one fluid movement. My gasp died on my tongue as I melted into his kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck to stabilize myself, our tongues dancing to our own music. Raw, emotional and goddamn was it spine tingling.
When he pulled away, my eyes glazed over at the smile that crossed his lips as he said, “Hi.”
Warmth burst from my chest as I giggled and replied, “hi.”
He turned back around with me in his arms and continued his report, “you wanna watch me work before we get ready for the day?”
“Sure,” I turned my eyes to the screen, “do I have to do reports like this as well?”
He shook his head, “Do you want to manage the patrol squad?”
I hesitated, unsure on how I should respond, “I don’t mind if you want me to?”
He chuckled, “You’re not familiar with the territory, Peach.”
“I can learn.”
“And you will. Mom should be coming by to drag you off to your lessons soon, now that the ceremony is over.”
“Then will you let me?”
He hesitated, “if that’s what you want, but I don’t think it’s something you’d like to do since there’s a lot to manage within the castle.”
“But you can help me, can’t you? We can help each other,” I muttered, wanting to help him as much as I could.
Leon placed a kiss on my neck, “you’re right. We’ll help each other.”
Satisfaction bloomed in my chest as I adjusted the sheet properly around my frame. Things were finally falling into place. I found my soulmate like I wanted, I escaped my father like I wanted and I left Zion... like I wanted. Now all I had to do now was maintain this flow of happiness in my life, and the only way to do that was to bury my past.
“What are your plans for the Shadow Rogue pack? You said that Glacial city was part of the reason why you haven’t dealt with them yet. What’s the other?”
“Convenience.”
I furrowed my brows in confusion, “what does that mean?”
“That rogue alpha is uniting all of the rogues. He’s holding them together and is building an empire for them to gather in one area. That takes the strain off of all the other packs who’ve been suffering from rogue attacks and invasions. Now, we can fully focus on Glacial city and effectively divide our forces.”
Realization dawned on me as everything slowly clicked into place, “So you’re using Zion to gather all the rogues so you can take care of them all at once?”
I knew it. I knew there was no way Zion could ever get the upper hand on the kingdom. The Alpha King had already calculated all of his moves and had taken his ambitious nature into consideration. Zion was never going to gain the power he wanted.
Leon hummed lazily, burying his face in my neck and inhaling deeply. A rumble vibrated from his chest and caused my insides to tremble in response. He had long since taken his attention off of his screen, seeming to have given up on his report.
His hand strayed towards my hand that was holding up my sheet but I held on tightly, my mind focused on the topic at hand.
“So, when are you planning on dealing with them? Stacia told me about that note that you sent back to the pack. Your thirty days are almost up.”
“Mmm, they are,” he tugged one of my fingers loose then worked on the other. I raised an eyebrow as I glimpsed the mischievous glint in his eyes.
“How do you plan to handle them? Are you going to kill them all?”
“Mmm,” another finger came loose.
I inhaled sharply as his other hand landed on my thigh and began lifting the sheet bit by bit. Heat pooled down below but I willed myself to focus. Thinking back on the woman who I had betrayed when I agreed to the abuse of her choice mate had me feeling ashamed of myself. She didn’t deserve to die.
I tightened my hold on the sheet and complained, “be serious, please. I really want to know this. Not everyone in the shadow rogue pack are rogues. You know this. Some are innocent. They were once a part of their own packs that were under your rule before they got taken over, and no one was there to help them, because they were the lowest of the kingdom. The small packs that serve no purpose to you. I was a part of one of those packs. Please don’t think that we’re disposable. How are you going to pick out the innocent from the guilty?”
Leon frowned as he leaned up to look at me, “I never thought you guys were disposable.”
“But you readily sacrificed us to gather all the rogues in one place.”
Bitterness swirled in my eyes the more I thought about it. All of this could’ve been avoided? If he had dealt with Zion before it got to that point, would I have been saved from the abuse?
A hand cupped my cheeks, bringing my focus back to him who watched me guiltily, “I told you that I wasn’t a kind man, Peach. There are decisions and sacrifices that I have to make as King, but don’t think that I made them lightly. I had to weigh all my options, the benefits and consequences of my decisions and how it would impact the kingdom. I don’t plan on disposing the small packs. All of this is temporary. I know they’re innocent. I already have some of my people mixed into the pack and when the time for confrontation comes, everyone guilty will be treated as such and everyone innocent will be compensated for their suffering. You might not like the decision I’ve made but I don’t regret making it.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself. I knew he was right. My thoughts were stupid. Even if Zion was dealt with, I’d have still been suffering under my father’s control and there was a possibility that I’d have never gotten the chance to even meet Leon. As much as I hated to admit it, everything played out well.
I nodded and murmured, “I understand. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to defend yourself. I was being childish.”
He leaned in to peck my lips, “you’re not childish. I understand that as a victim, you feel like a lot of your suffering could’ve been avoided and I feel that way as well. That’s why I feel guilty and why I’ve avoided touching you. I know I play a part in your suffering. That’s why mom has been so nice to you after she heard as well. We all played a part in your suffering and we’re so sorry for that. You have every reason to be upset.”
I felt his sincerity in his apology and felt my heart soften. I leaned in and placed my head on his shoulders and joked, “you don’t need to apologize. I was just doing my duty as queen and helping you in your plan to unite the pack even further, though I had to do it the hard way.”
A rumble came from his chest as his body tensed, “that’s not funny, Starr.”
I shrugged, “It’s a little funny. You wanted to unite the pack of rogues and ended up uniting your mate with another-”
“Starr,” his voice deepened considerably in anger.
I chuckled and closed my mouth, feeling a slight sense of joy at having upset him. I couldn’t necessarily punish him for his decision since I understood it, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t frustrate him as a little payback for making me suffer.
“So when are you dealing with them?” I asked, “I know you avoided that question. You just don’t want me to be involved, do you?”
Silence.
I lifted my head to glance at his face and raised my eyebrow at the brooding look that blanketed it, “Leon?”
He looked into my inquiring eyes and sighed, pursing his lips in reluctance, “I plan to deal with them in three days.”
“Really? What are your plans?”
“... Well, according to one of my informants. Ever since Zion received my letter, he’s been on edge and taking his anger out on the pack members. He’s killed a few people while sparring so now everyone’s on edge. They already know that you’re now the mate of the Alpha King and so, they’re angry at your betrayal. They’re planning to launch an attack on one of the larger packs on the border of the kingdom to show their strength. That’s where our forces will intercept them.”
“And I’m going with you, am I not?”
He hesitated, “Starr...”
A smile tilted my lips as I chuckled, “I understand.”
He eyed me warily, “understand what?”
“I understand that as my mate, you want to protect me and get rid of the person that caused my pain yourself.”
“I do,” he still looked wary.
“So I’ll let you.”
Surprise flashed across his face, “what? you don’t want to play a part in this battle anymore?”
I nodded, “I do. Of course I do. I was their Luna, however brief it was. I deserve to be out there cleaning up after myself. I meant that I’ll let you handle Zion. I thought about it and I don’t need closure from Zion. When I think back on all that I’ve been through, Zion played a minor role in everything. There’s no reason for me to be mad at him. He thought he was doing it for a right cause and got carried away. He’s not the source of my trauma. The only way for me to move on is to fight against the demon that first tormented me.”
Realization dawned on his face as he guessed, “your father.”
I nodded resolutely, my eyes bright with determination, “All I ask is for you to capture him if you find him before me, and let me deal with him personally. I don’t care about Zion. I just want to finally gain freedom from my father’s hold. He’s sick and I’m going to purge that sickness as his daughter.”
“Are you confident?”
I leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his lips then pulled back with a smile, “The most confident I’ve ever been in my life.”
Leon’s eyes darkened as he suddenly stood up from the chair with me in his arms. A gasp escaped my lips as I hurriedly wrapped my arms around his neck to stabilize myself. He headed straight towards the bathroom with large strides, his hand moving to tug the sheet from around me. This time, I let him.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.”
We did more than just cleaning up.