Fragile Sanctuary (Sparrow Falls Book 1)

I stared at the guest cottage’s front door like it was some sort of video game nemesis I had to defeat. And maybe it was. To pass or not to pass.

Shep had taken off hours ago, called to another jobsite when someone hit a pipe that wasn’t where it should’ve been. So, he’d left me here to wrap up the install. He’d handled the actual security system, but I’d finished up the cameras. That piece of things wasn’t difficult; it was just the sheer number of devices Shep had wanted put in.

The door to Rho’s house mocked me. I should’ve taken the burst pipe, even though I knew next to nothing about plumbing. I flipped my cell phone between two fingers, swinging it in circles.

The door opened, and Rho filled the entryway. I spat out a curse. Her brown hair was tamed into pigtail braids, but a few wisps flew free, needing to remind the rest of her hair of its wildness. She wore a tank top that hugged her curves in a way that told me she had no bra underneath. And those damned shorts. They looked like ones she maybe slept in—soft, worn, and way too fucking short for someone battling temptation like me.

Rho arched a brow. “You gonna come in, or you just gonna stand there glaring at my door all night?”

My lips twisted into a scowl. She burst out laughing.

God, that sound. There was so much pleasure in it, the tone hurt to take in. Sheer amusement at my surliness.

That was the thing I was starting to realize about Rho. She wasn’t afraid to show the world how she felt. Happy, sad, anything in between. She just let those emotions fly.

There was bravery in that freedom. And I admired the hell out of it.

“Come on, you broody ass. I’ve got baked chicken, potato-leek casserole, and a salad just about done. You can scowl while you’re being fed.”

That scowl only deepened. “What the hell is potato-leek casserole?”

Rho held the door open for me. “Only the best thing you’ll taste this side of heaven.”

“Bold claim,” I challenged.

She shrugged. “I’ll let you be the judge.”

As we walked into the open-plan living room and kitchen, Biscuit scrambled up. He charged over to me, but there was no bark or growl; instead, there was just a wag of his tail. “Hey,” I greeted, giving his head a rub.

A chorus of meows sounded from a box near Biscuit’s bed. He let out a whine in answer.

Rho moved quickly, grabbing a tiny bottle from the counter. “Don’t worry, buddy, I hear ‘em.” She glanced at me with a smile. “He’s taken it on himself to mother them.”

I slowly moved closer, watching as Rho helped the tip of a bottle into a tiny kitten’s mouth. Its meowing stopped instantly. It sucked ferociously, and Rho gave it her fingers to knead. It all looked effortless, but I knew there was no way it was. “How often do you have to feed them?”

She stroked the kitten’s head with one finger. “Every four to six hours. Makes for some rough nights for a while. It would be more like every two to three hours if they were any younger.”

I winced. “Most people wouldn’t sign up for that sort of thing.”

Rho shrugged as the kitten finished its bottle, and she set it down. “I know what it’s like to need a safe place to land.”

Of course, she did. She knew better than anyone what it was like to be in the worst state imaginable and to feel like she had no one.

As Rho stood to get another bottle, my gaze slid to the scars peeking out from her shorts. I hated the pain they were evidence of. Hated that she carried that kind of reminder with her.

I watched as she fed kitten number two, marveling at how she’d dealt with it all. I hadn’t paid nearly the price Rho had, yet she seemed to handle it all so much better than me.

“Gonna tell me what you’re thinking about so hard over there?” The question was easy, casual. There was no pressure behind it. I knew if I said no, she’d leave it be. But I found myself wanting to answer.

“You,” I finally said.

Her gaze flicked to me for the briefest moment. That swirl of green and gold mesmerized. Tonight, the gold looked like sunflowers in a field of grass. “Putting all the pieces of the puzzle together?”

It was a little too close to the truth of how my mind worked. “You take the bad and turn it into good.”

Rho switched kittens again, feeding the third, a little black-and-white one with an especially potent wail. Once the bottle was in its mouth, she turned to me, those eyes searching. “I’m not one of those people who thinks everything happens for a reason.”

All I could do was grunt in response. If everything happened for a reason, we were all walking around rocking some seriously horrendous karma. But I was surprised that Rho felt that way. She seemed like the kind of person who put meaning behind everything.

“Sometimes, absolutely horrible things happen. Things where no silver lining can justify the pain.”

An invisible fist locked around my chest at her words, a reminder of the kind of agony she spoke of.

Rho’s eyes locked with mine. “But good can come, even out of those darkest depths. It doesn’t mean we’re glad we went through it. It just means we won’t let it change us for the worse.”

She didn’t look away as I kept going. “I’ve realized lately that because I lost them, I never take one second with the Colsons for granted. Because my mom can’t see her garden bloom each summer, I take extra time breathing mine in every year. Because my dad won’t ever get to read the new John Grisham, I’ll read it for him and appreciate the twists that much more. And because Emilia won’t ever get to grow old, I’m going to embrace every wrinkle and age spot.”

Rho took a deep breath as she set the black-and-white kitten down. “It doesn’t mean I’m glad they’re gone. It doesn’t mean I miss them any less. But I’m going to let that loss teach me, not harden me.”

Every inhale felt like breathing fire. Flames scalded my throat and lungs. It was torture just to stay alive. That’s what it had become.

“I don’t think I’m as strong as you,” I rasped.

Rho stared hard at me, not looking away in the face of my weakness. “Everyone has their own path to get there. Yours doesn’t have to look like mine. You just can’t stop walking it.”

Blood roared in my ears. I hadn’t let myself remember Greta. Because I was scared shitless that if I let myself remember the pain of losing her, of being responsible for her death, it would swallow me whole. I only let myself have tiny glimpses of her. It was all I could handle.

“You’re not alone, Anson. Plenty of people would keep you company on the path if you asked. Me included.”

Hell. She slayed me. That simple, bold kindness. So unafraid.

I opened my mouth, unsure what would come out of it, and then the kitchen timer went off.

This time, it was Rho who cursed, a creative one that somehow managed to be both sunshiny and bold, just like she was.

She climbed to her feet and crossed to the oven. Grabbing two mitts, she pulled out something that looked like a heart attack in a baking dish and smelled even better.

“Holy hell,” I muttered.

Rho grinned. “No sense in wasting a meal on bad food. Make it count.”

I was starting to realize that Rho lived every part of her life that way—not wasting a single moment.

I pushed to my feet. “What can I do?”

“Plates and drinks, please.”

I circled the island and crossed to the cabinet that housed the plates. Rho bent, pulling out what looked like baked chicken, but I barely noticed the food. My eyes slid to her ass like it had its own gravitational pull. Her hips swayed from side to side as if moving to her own internal beat.

Images flashed in my mind that I had no right to. Fingers biting into her hips as I took her from behind. Her head tipped back, lips parted, begging for more.

“Anson?”

I jerked out of my lust-fueled stroke. “Sorry. Spaced.” I quickly handed her the plates.

Rho frowned at me, then bit her lip. I wanted to nip it with my teeth. Know what it was like to taste her on my tongue, all sunshine and recklessness.

Opening the fridge, I stilled. There, on the top shelf, were six ginger beers. I didn’t say a word; simply took one and let the kindness and knowing burrow into me. “Soda or beer?” I croaked.

“Coke, please,” she called back.

I tried to get it together as I straightened, but dinner was an exercise in temptation. Every sound Rho made as she ate, every flick of her tongue to catch an invisible crumb, the way her lips closed around her goddamn fork. By the time I helped her clean up, I had a case of blue balls that would take me weeks to recover from.

Rho wrung her hands as she followed me to the door, an invisible energy almost making her vibrate. I slowed, taking her in. Rho always had vitality running through her, but this was something different. I let that other piece of my brain slide into place.

Breaths shallow and quick. Gaze darting in quick movements. Pulse thrumming. Worrying the inside of her cheek.

Damn it all to blue-balled hell.

She was nervous. Not some fighting attraction nerves, but fear nerves. Of course, she was. Someone had set fire to her house and all but threatened to burn her with it.

One call to Shep, and he’d be over. I’d just have to explain why the hell I was having dinner with his sister. But as I studied the woman opposite me, I knew she’d just send him away. Not because she was embarrassed to be scared but because she didn’t want her family to worry.

I cleared my throat. “Why don’t I stay on your couch tonight?”

Rho’s gaze jerked to me. “What?”

“Give it a night to make sure the new security system’s working like it should. Just to be on the safe side.”

Her phone had gone off no fewer than half a dozen times during dinner, all with different siblings checking in. Her brother, Cope, had offered to send a full security detail to patrol the premises. I knew she wouldn’t truly be alone, but she was clearly feeling that way. That was all that mattered. Because, for some damn reason, the idea of Rho in any sort of discomfort was more than I could bear.

“You won’t get a good night’s sleep on my couch,” she mumbled.

Just the fact that she didn’t blow me off outright told me she didn’t want to be alone. That was enough for me.

“Your couch is just as comfortable as my lumpy-ass mattress back at the cabin.”

Those teeth tugged on her bottom lip. “I could go stay with Shep or Trace.”

“Or you can give me a blanket, and I can crash on your couch. I’ll be out before your head hits the pillow.”

Hazel eyes tangled with mine, those witch eyes pulling me in and putting me under their spell. “Might be nice to have someone here for one more night.”

I didn’t look away, couldn’t have even if I tried. “Then here’s where I’ll be.”

I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling as the early morning sun peeked through the curtains. I’d strung together maybe three hours. Every sound had me kicking off the blanket to walk the tiny house, rechecking locks and latches.

Except when I heard Rho. Her mattress creaked every time she tossed and turned. She hummed as she cared for the kittens in the middle of the night. And I swore she whispered as she dreamed.

Images of her tangled in sheets just feet from this damn couch haunted my every waking thought and taunted the little sleep I’d managed to get. Dreams of Rho. All curves and glowing skin, damp with sweat as I⁠—

The sound of a door opening jerked me out of my thoughts. I sat up, pushing to my feet as I heard the shower turn on. She haunted me even now with images of water running down her neck as she washed her face, of that tangle of hair I wanted so desperately to get my hands on.

I stalked down the hallway, pissed as all hell. At her. At me. At the fact that my fucked-up brokenness meant that Rho was someone I should never touch with my tainted fingers.

She slipped out of the bathroom and came up short, lips parting. “You’re awake.”

I didn’t answer. Simply stared.

Rho’s hair was in a tangle she hadn’t tried to tame yet. That tank top still taunted me, her nipples pressing against the fabric, beckoning me closer.

My back teeth ground together so hard I’d probably need a root canal. “Go back to your room,” I gritted out.

A little furrow appeared on her brow. “Why⁠—?”

“Because I’m holding on to my last shred of humanity, and if you stand here in those goddamn shorts for another ten seconds, it’s going to snap.”

Rho’s breaths came quicker, her chest rising and falling with each one. Every inhale brought those curves closer—to my hands, my tongue. “What happens if you snap?” she whispered.

“I fuck you so hard you’ll feel me for weeks. I’ll ruin you, Reckless. You think I can’t taint you with my pain and the darkness that lives inside me, but you’re wrong.”

Defiance swept into those witch eyes. “One.” She licked her lips. “Two.”

“What the hell are you doing?” I snarled.

“Counting down to the snap,” Rho challenged. “Three.”

Everything about her set my blood on fire, from her strength to her beauty to her fearlessness.

“Four…” she goaded, slipping one strap of her tank top down. “Five.” The other fell free.

“Fuck it.”

I was on her in two long strides. One hand sank into her hair, hauling her mouth to mine. The other dropped to her ass, pulling her flush against me.

Rho gasped into my mouth as my dick pressed against her. I swallowed that gasp, taking it all, every ounce of shock and need. My mouth tore from hers, tracing her jaw until I reached her ear.

“Is this what you wanted? To know that you’ve been torturing me in those fucking shorts?” I squeezed her ass, and Rho’s thighs clenched in response. “In that damned tank top that shows me these pretty little nipples standing at attention?”

My hand moved from her ass, trailing up her waist to the most perfect breast. Palming it, I traced the peak with my thumb, and Rho shuddered.

My dick pressed against the zipper of my jeans so hard the metal would probably leave a mark. I didn’t give a damn. I welcomed the bite of pain.

I tugged down the cotton of her tank and dipped my head. My mouth latched onto the bud, pulling it deep. Rho moaned, arching into me. Her fingers dug into my shoulders, nails clawing, everything drawing me closer.

I felt her need seeping into me, and I wanted it all. Every ounce she had to give me.

My hand dipped between her legs, stroking her through the soft cotton of her shorts, the fabric damp with need already. I released her nipple, and Rho let out a whimper as her nails dug deeper into my shoulders.

“Need something, Reckless?”

Her eyes flashed that molten gold. God, I wanted to see it spark and swirl as she came. Wanted to watch every flicker of movement in her face as she shattered. I needed that more than another breath.

“Anson,” she gritted out.

I couldn’t help it, I smiled. The feeling was so foreign my muscles barely recognized it.

Rho’s thighs tightened around my hand, trying desperately for release.

That heat. It was the kind of flame you never recovered from.

My fingers teased her through the cotton. “Aching?”

She let out a little growl of frustration.

“Ask. Ask me to make you come. Beg.”

Another flash of gold—that defiance I loved so much. “Or I could go back to my bedroom, get the toy from my nightstand, and finish the job myself if you’re not up to the task.”

A million images flashed in my mind, and my own growl left my lips. I cupped her between her legs, pulling her closer. “Wanna watch that, Reckless. Watch how you make yourself come. How you tease and toy. The way your breaths trip and tumble. Do you tweak your nipples, too?”

I twisted the peak with my free hand, and Rho arched into me, those perfect breasts pressing against my chest.

I couldn’t wait. I needed to feel her, that wetness, the heat. My hand slipped into her shorts, gliding down to the apex of her thighs.

“Fuck,” I groaned.

Like stroking silk. And that heat…

I slid two fingers inside, and Rho’s head dropped to my shoulder. I stroked, curling my fingers. She bit down on my shoulder to keep from crying out.

“Gonna brand me, Reckless?”

Rho’s head pulled back, her hazel eyes swirling. “More.”

I loved that she wasn’t afraid to ask. No, not ask. Demand. To tell me what she wanted. What she needed.

I slid a third finger inside her heat, and Rho’s legs began to tremble. I thrust, in and out, curling each time.

Rho grabbed my arms, holding on like I was her life raft on a stormy sea. “Anson.”

My name on her tongue. Heaven and hell all at once.

I circled her clit with my thumb, and Rho’s eyes closed as her mouth fell open.

I tweaked her nipple. “Eyes on me.”

Those hazel beauties flew open, locking with mine.

“Want to see everything when you shatter. Don’t want to miss a fucking thing.”

My fingers thrust deeper, finding that spot that would bring Rho to her knees. She clamped down around my fingers as her lips parted on a quiet gasp. My thumb pressed down on that bundle of nerves as I stroked each wave that hit her. Again and again.

I watched the gold dance in her eyes as she struggled to keep them open. To keep them on me. The green all but disappeared, and Rho was only gold. Pure fire.

As the last wave hit her, her legs gave out. I caught her around the waist with my free arm, holding her to me, not wanting to let go. I didn’t want to leave the warmth and life that was Rho.

A horn honked outside, and she jolted.

I cursed, pulling my fingers free.

Rho’s eyes widened as she hurried to pull up her tank top. “Shep.”

Oh, hell.