Chapter 8
There was one thing that was good about coming here. I’d managed to make my first friend in...forever, I guess. Aliyah and I already went everywhere together, including all but one class, and I hadn’t been there a full week yet. I could see her being like the sister I never had.
Of course, I still couldn’t tell her that I could already hear the voices or anything about my plans to escape, because she couldn’t tell what she didn’t know and that was safer for me and her. I would slowly try to bring myself to the ability, as far as they knew. At least as far as I hoped they know.
I didn’t like the thought of eventually abandoning her, but there was nothing I could do about that. I knew I couldn’t let her know my plans, because they would read it from her mind, if they didn’t read it from mine before that. Like Daddy taught me though, the fewer people that knew your secret, the less chance there was of it getting out.
During my first weekend at Oakmont, I spent a lot of time with Aliyah, considering neither of us had anyone else to hang out with. We played some video games, but spent a lot of time bowling. Thanks to Aliyah, I’d really taken to bowling.
They opened the water park that weekend and I discovered that they gave all of us girls little two piece bathing suits, which I definitely didn’t like. I wouldn’t have put it on and gone, if Aliyah hadn’t been so excited about going. I was very self conscious wearing that thing and showing that much of my skin, wearing a towel until I was getting in the water. My towel was wrapped around me again, as soon as I got out of the water.
I did manage to do a little exploring and stealing camping supplies during the times I went for my daily shots during that first weekend. I had already made the assumption I was in a northern climate, although I could’ve been wrong, so I needed to concentrate on cold weather stuff. When the weekend was over, I had only gathered a small amount of stuff, mostly small items for camp, but it was a start. I would still need a sleeping bag and a pack, along with winter clothes, both inner and outer layers.
I’d also been trying to find a way to block the probes, but I hadn’t figured that out yet. It was a puzzle that was getting the best of me, even though I had just started trying. I would keep trying, though. Daddy always said I had a stubborn streak in me when it came to puzzles and this was a really important one. It was even more important for me since I was constantly poked at in the halls and those mental pokes hurt a lot.
Aside from that, I decided to start sending probes out into other rooms, which I did at night, making me very tired during the day. Besides seeing how far I could send them, I was curious if others could figure out who they came from when the owner wasn’t in the same room.
So far, there hadn’t been any notice of them, much less anyone figuring out who they came from, which was a surprise to me. I hadn’t been brave enough to try it with Mr. Miller yet, not to mention Mrs. Trulin. Of course, I hadn’t been back to her tutoring session yet either, but I had that to look forward to come Monday.
Along with all of that, I’d been noticing the difference in probes and how they determined how strong someone was. I had confirmed that they were definitely fatter and brighter to me the stronger someone was. I’d only realized that thanks to Aliyah telling me how strong different people were when I asked. I wasn’t sure how she knew, but she was sure of what she said, so I had to believe her.
As I continued studying them during that first weekend, I was able to clearly see differences in experience and strength in the probes. Studying the probes was easy to do during meals, not to mention in the halls, so in a short time, I got a lot of experience at it.
I wasn’t sure, but I thought I was beginning to be able to tell if someone was a mind reader, even if they weren’t using their ability. I still wasn’t sure about that, but I was beginning to believe it. There was almost a kind of mental glow to them that I could feel.
What I had really begun playing with though, was making my probes look weaker than I was. That was a little idea I got thinking about something Daddy told me once about hiding your forces and making them look weak so the enemy wouldn’t be prepared. Why couldn’t I do that with my ability, if I could figure out how to do it?
One thing I was fairly sure of was that I was definitely stronger than anyone else and that bothered me a lot, although Aliyah was close to being as strong as me. So far, I hadn’t been able to make them look weaker, but I was going to keep trying.
As I dutifully went to the hospital for the shots every day, I was feeling weirder and weirder, but it was something I couldn’t put a finger on to describe how it felt. Monday came with excitement and dread.
As I began my first full week, my newness had obviously worn off with the other kids, if there was ever any consideration for my newness. As I walked the hall to morning exercise, kids shoved me...a lot. One time I even went to the floor, barely managing not to land on my face, and again hurting my right wrist, which had only barely begun to heal.
It seemed like every kid in the school knew that probes hurt me, and they were all taking turns poking me, some not even waiting for their turn, just hitting me at the same time as someone else. By the time I made it to exercise, my head was already hurting a lot. Once we were done, I took my time leaving, hoping to let everyone get to their destination before I suffered their abuse again.
“Mel,” Aliyah began, calling me by that accursed nickname. Oddly, coming from her it didn’t bother me as much. But why had she suddenly decided to call me by that name?
“Yeah?” I responded, feeling drained.
“The older kids own the center of the halls, so avoid that. On the sides, where we go, the weaker kids get shoved and hit. No one knows how strong you are, so they’re going hard on you right now. Oh, and apparently, everyone knows it hurts you to be probed.”
“Thanks for letting me know, for what good it’ll do.”
“Yeah, hopefully, they’ll put you on the strength board soon.”
“What’s the strength board?” I was very curious about this new thing.
“It tells us where we all rank. It’s a combination of raw strength and training. That’s how I know who’s stronger than who.” Now the mystery of that was solved, but why wasn’t I on it yet?
Once I figured we’d waited long enough, we headed for our room so we could get a shower and maybe some breakfast before English. Aliyah waited along with me, seeming to know what I was doing. She did it without complaint or comment, other than what she told me about the rules of the halls and the strength board.
Once we had finished showering and getting ready, we got a quick breakfast, sense I had used a good deal of our time waiting for everyone to leave. English and Government went by today without any further paddling, which I was very grateful for, even offering a prayer of thanks for the reprieve.
I left Government and headed to Physics, a bit of apprehension plaguing me. I wasn’t looking forward to that class, which was odd considering I normally loved science, almost as much as math. I had decided to get there early, hoping to get in before everyone else and not be noticed.
Before I got there, I felt a hard punch in my back, which hurt incredibly bad. Unable to do anything about it, I went flying, landing very hard on my chest. The wind was knocked out of me and I had a moment of panic before I could begin breathing again. And yet again, I landed on my right wrist, sending pain shooting up my arm, undoing the last bits of any healing that had happened over the weekend.
“Look, little Melanie doesn’t even know how to walk yet,” James said, leering down at me with a mean grin. “It’s amazing that they put a tiny little girl in a high school class. Must not have had anyone that could babysit her,” he said, laughing very loudly, everyone else joining him.
I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut, as anything I said would only encourage him, or make him mad, which was almost the same thing. The problem was, I couldn’t stop myself.
“I’m in your class because they don’t have any classes smart enough for me, unlike you,” I said, knowing my reply was a really stupid move. I was expecting him to get mad and make a smart reply, but what he did wasn’t what I expected. Before I even had myself off the floor, his foot slammed into my stomach, again knocking the wind out of me and almost causing me to throw up. He then sent a barrage of probes at my mind, causing a lot more pain to go along with my stomach and chest.
By the time I had picked myself up off the floor, he was gone. As quickly as I could, I gathered my stuff and went into class and to my seat, struggling with the pain I was now in. Why couldn’t I keep my stupid mouth shut? What was wrong with me?
As I sat down, he walked over to the paddle and headed my way. I knew what was about to happen, but I’d wait for him to order me up, just in case I was wrong. I knew I wasn’t.
“Stand up and bend over,” he ordered, when he got to me.
I did as commanded, bracing for the impact. He set the paddle down on the lab table, which surprised me a little. I remembered him lifting my skirt last time. He came up behind me, actually leaning into me with his front squirming against my bottom. Then I felt his hands on the sides of my legs, and they began sliding up, raising my skirt up. When my skirt was over my back, he moved off of me and his hands slid onto my butt. Although terror coursed through me, I was about to put my foot between his legs, with all of my strength, but he stopped.
There was almost no pause before the paddle hit me so hard I launched forward onto the lab table, hitting my face hard on the shelf that held lab supplies, and catching my ribs and stomach on the corner of the tabletop. The pain shot through my legs and stomach when I hit the table, further adding to the pain that was already there. Then came a second hit and a third. After the third, there wasn’t a fourth.
The anticipation of another hit was almost as bad as the hits themselves. I was absolutely shocked, as I felt his hand go into my underwear and onto my bottom. He started pushing my underwear down from the inside.
Throwing my act of innocence away, my instincts took over. I quickly turned around, almost ripping my underwear in the process. It was so fast, he wasn’t expecting it, or prepared for me as I put my knee between his legs with every bit of my strength. James fell to the floor gasping and coughing, seeming to look up at me with hate in his eyes, or maybe it was shocked pain. I ran out of the class, ignoring Mrs. Warple saying something to me as she came in.
I ran to my room, and curled up on my bed in a ball, with my head resting on my knees. Sitting there, I rocked back and forth. I was trying to come to grips with what had just happened, trying to sort through the emotions all jumbled up in my mind. I was shocked, scared, disgusted, embarrassed, humiliated and a lot of other things I couldn’t put a name to. Over it all was a brewing anger and hate. It was like a monster, coiled inside me, trying to get out.
Even Mr. Radnick hadn’t done that to me, even though I knew he wanted to, and had come close. He was working up to it when I told on him, but I was beginning to wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off allowing him to do what he wanted than where I was now. At least he’d have been nice, and gentle with me.
I sat curled up, shaking on my bed through lunch and it was a bit into math before I realized what time it was. Finally, I got up and grabbed my things, leaving to make it to what was left of math. Mrs. Wilde looked at me oddly when I came in, but thankfully she didn’t say anything. I sat at the computer, but couldn’t make my mind focus on anything, other than what had just happened. I sat staring at the monitor, my mind a complete mess and I’m pretty sure I was shaking a little. In addition, the pain on my bottom was almost unbearable and my left cheek hurt quite a bit too, not to mention my stomach, chest and right wrist.
“Melanie, are you alright?” I heard from behind me, making me jump. Mrs. Wilde came up on me, and I didn’t even notice.
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied automatically, for once seeming to be in control of my tongue.
“You’re squirming again, just like Friday,” she said. I didn’t turn to look at her, instead looking down at my hands in my lap, which seemed to be vibrating they were shaking so bad.
“Come with me, please,” she said.
“Aliyah, come here as well,” she said, turning toward Aliyah.
She took us across the hall again, repeating the process from yesterday. “Melanie, who hurt you today?” she asked, once we were in the room across the hall.
”I’m okay, Mrs. Wilde,” I tried to convince her.
She looked at me for only a moment. “Your face has blood on it and it looks like a nice bruise is forming,” she said. I didn’t know that I was bleeding, but the bruise didn’t surprise me.
“In addition, I saw you holding your wrist and it looks like you were rubbing your stomach or chest, and you’re shaking like a leaf.”
“Did he touch you again?” she suddenly asked, shocking me with the question.
“Uh, no ma’am. I mean maybe, a little, but it’s okay. I mean it will be okay,” I stammered, not prepared for that particular question, the horrible thing playing in my mind again, feeling his hand where it didn’t belong.
“Tell me what happened...everything,” she commanded.
“Please don’t make me,” I begged, knowing that I sounded stupid, unable to stop water forming in my eyes. I also realized that I gave things away with that simple plea.
“You can tell me now, or I can have someone read you. I understand it hurts you when someone reads your mind,” she said, threatening me in the worst possible way at that moment. I didn’t think she realized just how much pain it really was, but the real pain was the violation of my mind, not the physical pain of them entering. She probably wasn’t aware that every student here was doing it all the time.
“Please don’t make me,” I repeated my plea, sounding completely pathetic. What was at odds with my voice though was my anger was about to explode, but she had no idea.
“Melanie, you must tell me and if you won’t tell me on your own, then I’ll do what’s required,” she said.
I looked at her, feeling an intense hatred for her suddenly explode upward from my gut. The situation she was putting me in was the reason. My vision was red, and I was scared of another seizure, or whatever these things were. Unfortunately, I’d rather tell her myself than have someone enter my mind, unwelcomed. I fought against my growing anger and the incredible embarrassment. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply and steadily for a little while, and just managing to calm myself down before I could feel that click in my head.
Finally, after a long time of fighting my seething anger, I knew I’d have to give her what she wanted. I opened my mouth to speak and then stopped, trying to get a grip on my feelings and exactly how to tell her the story. It wasn’t something I wanted to think about again and there were tears rolling down my cheeks now, but from the anger and frustration, and maybe the embarrassment and humiliation of it. No, anger and frustration were too mild for how I felt. It was hate, pure and simple, mixed with the other feelings.
“I was told to bend over. When I did, he put the paddle on the table and lifted my skirt. Before he picked it up, he moved his hands to my bottom.”
“He moved his hands to your bottom, which means he already had them on you,” she stated more than asked.
“Yes, ma’am. They were on my legs when he moved them.”
“So, the picture I am drawing in my mind is that he lifted your skirt with his hands moving up your legs. Is that an accurate picture?” she asked. I only nodded, ashamed and angry that I gave that much away. I hadn’t meant to. “Alright, continue.”
“He hit me three times. Then he put the paddle down and began to lower my underpants. I kneed him between the legs and ran away.” Even I could hear the anger in my voice as I finished the story and my final actions. I was shaking again and I knew it. Oddly, my anger wasn’t at James though, but rather at her for forcing me to do this.
“He started to lower your underpants, right there in class?” she asked, sounding shocked.
“Yes, ma’am, but I’m sure it was an accident,” I replied, regretting my sarcasm as soon as it came out, but yet again my tongue seemed to be running on without me. She stared at me for a moment, shock written on her face. I wasn’t sure if the shock was from what happened, or my reply.
“Did anyone else see it?” she finally asked.
“Everyone was in the class, but I’m sure no one saw it,” my answer so sarcastic I was surprised she didn’t punish me. I knew what would happen to me if he got any punishment for this.
“Did his hand go in your underpants?” With that question, I simply froze, unable to answer due to my overwhelming emotions. Was she really that stupid?
“I think I know the answer,” she said, looking at me, with what I thought might have been compassion. Unfortunately, her compassion only angered me more.
Her face changed back to her normal expression. “Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” she asked, not realizing how I felt about her right then. My hate was almost overwhelming me at that point. I was still unable to respond, instead lowering my eyes, looking at a spot on the floor on the other side of the room. I was struggling to get a grip on my hate and anger, and the humiliation I felt, knowing everyone saw what was done to me.
I knew she was saying something, but my mind was so focused on a dust bunny in the corner, and the emotions that I was fighting with, I couldn’t even hear her. Focusing on the dust bunny, I didn’t notice the click in my mind, but suddenly pain exploded in me, starting in my head and spreading out lightning fast, to my fingertips and toes.
Everything suddenly went black, with my heart pounding in my head. There was a pain in one of my shoulders, though the pain in my head made it only a mild irritant. The blackness and the pain went on forever, infusing every part of me, every pore. I felt it in every hair on my body, even the little tiny ones. This was a pain unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and the blackness made it so I couldn’t focus on anything else.
Finally, I started seeing light again, rather than complete blackness. Shapes started forming and then I began making out people. Aliyah was first, then Mrs. Wilde.
“Melanie, are you alright?” Mrs. Wilde asked, looking down at me, as my eyes began to truly focus again. That was when I realized I was lying on the floor.
“Aliyah, run and get Mr. Miller. Hurry.” Although she looked unsteady, and generally a little funny to me, Aliyah ran off before I could register what Mrs. Wilde said, but the importance of it hit me hard when it did. I’d had another attack and Mrs. Wilde wanted him here to see it with his mind.
“What happened?” I asked her, feeling that I needed to know about these attacks. I wasn’t sure why I was even speaking to her, considering how angry I was and how much I hated her.
“You screamed and fell on the floor. There’s blood coming out of your nose and eyes,” she said, moving my hair and looking at the side of my face. “And ears. Those are generally symptoms of over extending your telepathic ability, or in this case from a severe psychic burst.”
“I don’t have telepathy.”
“Yes, you do. You just haven’t learned how to use it yet.”
“But the test said I didn’t.”
“Melanie, you deliberately failed that section, and we know it.”
“How do you know?” I was really curious how they figured it out.
“Well, you just confirmed it by telling me what the test results were. We never discussed that section, which means you deliberately failed it, confirming my belief,” she said, smiling at me.
That smile may have been meant in a friendly way, but it had the exact opposite effect on me. My anger and hate surged to new heights. “I hate you!” I whispered, turning my eyes away before I said something really disrespectful and feeling my hate heating my cheeks and making my eyes burn. I’d never felt hate this passionately before. I hadn’t thought I was capable of it, like this. Guess I was wrong, as I have been with a lot of things about myself.
Tears were running down my cheeks. My sluggish brain just made me give up information, which she’d use against me.
The frustration I felt right then was horrible, but the hate was overwhelming. I was helpless on the floor, since I was in so much pain I could barely move, and now I found out that they suspected I deliberately failed section 6 of the assessment. But to make it worse, I just confirmed it for them because I couldn’t think right and she used that against me. She was one of the faces of my imprisonment and I hated her for it.
I could actually feel my vision going red again and I really didn’t want another one of these things this soon after the last. I started breathing slowly again, trying really hard to control my incredible anger.
A thought came to my mind, and half a second later, to my tongue. I couldn’t stop it, although I knew I needed to. “Does Aliyah know you invade her mind...ma’am?” I asked, hearing the venom in my voice with the almost disrespectful addition at the end.
“Hmm, I doubt it, but all of the kids here should be able to figure it out if they put any thought into it. We don’t advertise that we do it, but we don’t lie to them either. Of course, I don’t, since I don’t have any telepathic ability.” She was one of the teachers that I didn’t think was a telepath, and now my belief was confirmed.
The pain was finally beginning to ease a little, and I was able to move enough to sit up. I quickly realized that I needed to sit against a wall, since the room seemed to be spinning and the spinning was beginning to affect my stomach. I desperately scooted over to the nearest wall, wanting to grab the wall with my hands. Maybe that would make me feel like I was stable.
“What’s the matter, Rebecca?” Mr. Miller asked, as I saw him and Aliyah come in.
“Melanie had another psychic burst,” she replied.
“Another!?” he asked. His face registered his surprise.
“I wanted you to see if there is any residual energy from the attack,” she said, not answering his question. I knew all of the words she said, but the meaning of the sentence was kind of lost on me as I struggled to keep the world still. The spinning of the room was all my pathetic mind could think about right then, and my overwhelming hatred for her.
Mr. Miller closed his eyes for only a second. “How long ago did this happen?”
“Maybe ten minutes. Once Melanie seemed to be safe, I sent Aliyah to get you.”
“The energy levels are consistent with her previous attacks, if not stronger.” I had a feeling that they got a lot of information from my little seizure, or whatever it was, and that was probably not good for my cause.
“Between them, do we have enough to get a gauge on her strength?”
“Enough to place her on the board, but not enough to use for training,” he said, and seemed to be thinking for a minute, before speaking again. “Based on this, the only one strong enough to handle her is Aliyah, and I’m beginning to wonder about that.”
The more he said about my strength, the sicker I began to feel. His last words were like a punch to my stomach, and I began to vomit in horrible, painful spasms.
“It’s okay, Melanie,” I heard, as a hand rubbed my back. I wanted to run away from them, from her, but I couldn’t move away, thanks to the heaving of my stomach and the overwhelming pain. I managed to settle down after a few minutes, but still felt very dizzy.
The hand on my back sent a wave of disgust through me. She was trying to comfort me, but I didn’t want her comfort. I hated them, all of them, especially her. As the hate engulfed what was working of my brain, I felt a fresh wave of nausea and started heaving again.
“Have you ever seen a reaction like this? I mean, the nausea is normal, but this kind of heaving is not,” I heard her say.
“No, I can’t say that I have. We’ve seen the nausea in some, but I haven’t seen this kind of vomiting before,” he replied.
“Hmm, something new to note. I wonder if it has to do with the amount of energy expended in the attack?” she asked, though I wasn’t sure if it was a question that she expected an answer to.
They were beginning to make me madder than I was a little while ago, which caused the attack in the first place. They kept talking about me as if I wasn’t there, or rather, like I was some rat in a cage again, their cage. And that was exactly what I was to them and I knew it. We were all just rats in their cage to be trained and controlled.
The anger was building up in me again, even though I knew what might happen...no, would happen. I couldn’t stop it though and this time I wasn’t able to do anything to try and get control of my rising temper. They viewed all of us kids as nothing more than test subjects, to be studied and manipulated, used. I didn’t like being used!
I felt that click again, and I sensed that huge pool but again I couldn’t seem to reach it. I felt like if I could reach it, life would be good again, or at least better. That same feeling was there the last time, but with the same result, failure.
Suddenly, there was a bright flash of color. I was blinded by the intensity of the light and color, and the pain that exploded through my head made the last attack seem like a minor scratch on the surface. This seemed to go on forever, the pain encompassing everything. I felt like my head was an egg and cracks were radiating throughout it at a rapid pace, sending the pain throughout. Finally, blackness overcame me again, but I could still think inside the blackness. I wondered if I was dead.
I heard them talking, but the words didn’t register in my mind. Why was I awake, if I was unconscious? This was really weird, and the pain was the worst thing I’d ever experienced. Each of these was definitely getting worse, and with each one I couldn’t believe it was possible to feel more pain. Then the next one would show me I was wrong.
The pool of energy was nearby, but I still couldn’t reach it. I could feel it though, like I was seeing it, but it was all in my mind. What worried me though was that I felt that bad thing inside my head again. It was growing every time I had one of these.
Light began to return and I started making out shapes around me. They were blurry images at first, but began to take shape and colors began to sort themselves out. Mrs. Wilde was sitting over me again, looking worried. Mr. Miller was beside her, but he didn’t look so good. I didn’t see Aliyah at all.
There was a strong, gnawing pain in my stomach. Just like last time, it took me a minute to realize that it was hunger. As it began to make sense in my mind, I felt the depth of my hunger. It was all powerful over me. I needed to eat, and I needed to eat a lot of food. It overrode the pain in my head and body, pushing aside the nausea that was there after the first seizure.
“Aliyah,” I managed to squeak out.
“She’s right here,” Mrs. Wilde said, looking sympathetically at me.
“I’m hungry,” I replied.
Both of the adults looked at me oddly, but I couldn’t make my brain focus on any meaning in it. I started sitting up, no longer aware of any pain. I needed to eat, and that was all there was in my mind.
“Melanie, lie down. You’ve suffered two major attacks and need to rest,” she told me.
“I need to eat,” I replied, focused completely on getting up, even though there was something holding me down. I looked at my shoulder and saw Mr. Miller’s hand there. He still looked weird, like he was in pain, or extremely tired maybe. There was blood coming from his nose for some reason, and maybe a tiny amount in one of his eyes, but I still couldn’t see well enough to be sure.
I began trying harder to get away from it, but it managed to hold me down. I started actively fighting the restraint, finally managing to get free, wriggling out from under it. Once free, I jumped up and ran from the room, heading to the cafeteria as fast as I could go, stumbling at times as I went. I was scared that whatever had been holding me might try to keep me from getting food. It was like a nightmare, and I was being chased by some horrible monster. I could almost see it chasing me at times.
When I got there, I looked back and saw Aliyah running up behind me. She didn’t look very good either, like she was in pain or something. Thankfully, there was no one in line, so I went straight to the serving area and got a lot of meat, with gravy and chunks of potato, almost like last time. At that moment, I’d have eaten almost anything. I grabbed a glass of water and headed to a table, digging into the food before my butt touched the seat.
It didn’t take me long to finish it, and I got up and headed back for more. When I sat down this time, I noticed Aliyah looking at me with an odd expression, now that I could focus on something other than food.
“What?” I asked, mockingly.
“You,” she replied, still looking like something wasn’t right. “You’re so small, but you eat so much. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone eat as much as you just ate, and you got a second plate,” she said, smiling at me with an odd smirk, in spite of her feeling bad, or whatever was wrong with her.
“You might have made them mad, leaving like you did. I know they’re worried about you. Most kids don’t jump up and run off after one of those attacks.”
“Other kids have had these attacks, or seizures, or whatever they are?” Of course they did, or she wouldn’t know about them. My mind still wasn’t working right.
“Almost all of us do, at some point. We have to learn to control our temper, or they happen more often.”
So it was anger related. I’d wondered about that, but wasn’t certain. “So, I’m not supposed to get mad, or that will happen?”
“Something like that.”
“That sucks. They make me too mad. I’ll have to find a way to control the seizure.” There had to be a way for me to do that. Unfortunately, I didn’t know enough about the seizures to have any idea how to control them.
I knew I’d have to talk to them to find out. Mr. Miller and Mrs. Wilde seemed to know a bit, from what I remembered of their conversations, which wasn’t a lot thanks to my screwed up mind. Maybe they’d tell me what I wanted to know. It never hurt to try, or at least it usually didn’t. The real question was, did I need to be upfront with them, or try and hide my intentions?
This time, I decided I wouldn’t hide it as much, but at the same time, I didn’t think I’d volunteer anything either. If they asked, I might tell them, but they’d have to ask. I’d still play games with them, even then. They didn’t deserve to get anything easy.
After my third plate of gravy covered meat and potatoes, I got a very generous helping of dessert, and then a second and a third. How was I able to eat so much? This wasn’t my first time doing this, either. I had done it on Friday, after I had the attacks then. Was this a normal symptom? I was going to get really fat if I kept this up.
Oh well, I felt much better and my mind was working again, which was a huge relief. All I could focus on for a while, was getting food. Now that I’d eaten, I could focus on my new goal.
I took my tray to the dish washing station, and left the cafeteria. In spite of my feelings for her, my destination was Mrs. Wilde’s class, even though she might have been in the middle of one. When I got there, I peeked over the edge of the little window, which was a struggle for me since I was so short. Thankfully, there wasn’t a class in there, so I knocked and then slowly opened the door. I didn’t even notice whether Aliyah followed me or not.
“Come on in, girls,” she said, as she saw my head peek around the corner. Apparently, Aliyah had followed me.
“You look like you’re feeling much better. Actually, you’re looking amazingly well, considering the attacks you just had. Every student that has ever had one is usually close to unconscious for at least a day, sometimes longer. Yet, you have done this twice now, and seem to recover amazingly fast.”
“Can I ask some questions about these attacks, or seizures, or whatever they are?”
“Sure. If I can answer, I will,” she replied, smiling in a friendly way. I felt a lot of conflict with her. I hated her for kidnapping me and using me as a lab rat, but at the same time, she seemed like she honestly cared about me.
“Are the seizures I had related to the telepathy you kidnapped me for,” I asked, putting aside those thoughts.
“Yes, they are. Every kid has at least one, usually many, before they learn to control them. That’s one of the reasons you need to be here. I don’t recall seeing two so close together before, and now you’ve had two separate incidents of multiple attacks,” she answered, an unhappy look on her face. I believed that her unhappiness was at my reference to my kidnapping, and not the multiple attacks or my suffering. The reminder of my imprisonment made me a little mad, but not that much. I was in no danger, yet.
“Are they triggered by my emotions, like anger or excitement or something?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.
“Yes, in all of the cases we’ve been able to document, it has always been related to an anger response. We try and teach all of you to control your temper, as a result. That means, something made you angry when that happened,” she told me, which was one of my big questions, even though I was pretty sure of the answer already. “Were you angry with me, or was there something else going on?”
“Is there a way to control them, other than by controlling my temper? I’m not sure I’ll always be able to do that,” I asked, ignoring her question and also giving a little more of my intention than I intended. She looked at me intently for a moment.
“I haven’t known of anyone that has managed to control them, other than through anger management. I guess you’re not going to answer my question, which tells me what the answer is,” she said, smiling ironically at me. “Being that I was so concerned with you, I don’t recall what could have made you mad with me, but I’ll work on that and see if I can figure it out,” she said, thinking aloud, but definitely letting me know what she was thinking.
“How much trouble will I get in for missing my afternoon classes, and Aliyah too?”
“Since you had an attack, actually two, your teachers have all been alerted that you may be out for a little while. It’s normal for a student to take a couple of days to recover, and with how strong yours were, we expected several days at least, in spite of what happened Friday. You still have a good deal of blood on you that needs to be cleaned up. Aliyah has also been excused for the afternoon, due to her presence during the attacks.”
“Are the attacks related to electrical signals in the brain, or something? Is there some connection to the energy that is in my brain that I might be able to control?” I needed to get some idea of how to control this myself.
She looked at me strangely for a minute before saying anything. “You’re now asking questions that only our top scientists have asked. Yes, they’re directly linked to the anger response, which triggers an energy burst in the brain. After the attack, there’s an energy signature left by every telepath we’ve studied. That energy signature is what I wanted Mr. Miller to examine,” she told me, surprising me with how much she was actually letting me know.
“That’s how he knows my strength,” I mumbled, not meaning to say it out loud.
“Yes, that’s how he determined your strength, although it’s not a very accurate measurement. We would prefer to gauge it with actual telepathic use. That measure is very accurate and would help us know how to better train you, as well. In every kid we’ve had in this program, there’s always a delay between attacks, of at least a few weeks. It seems to act as a safety mechanism, maybe protecting the brain from too much energy transfer. We have no idea, to be honest, but it has always been consistent, until you.”
She stared at me for a little while before speaking again. “Since you have asked questions about the attacks, there’s one other piece of information you may find interesting, and I hope exciting. For a telepath that has not developed their ability yet, the attacks are normally an indicator of your abilities beginning to manifest,” she said, looking at me as if waiting for a response. I didn’t know what she was expecting though and I had already developed these abilities, so I just sat there quietly for a minute, my mind sorting the information she had given me.
“Is it normal to be incredibly hungry after the attack?” I finally asked, wondering about what I had just experienced, and what happened Friday.
“No, it’s not. In every documented case, the student was nauseous afterward, exactly as you were after the first one Friday and today. In both incidents, your reaction after the second attacks was new, and not in line with what we know,” she said, looking thoughtful.
“Has anyone ever described how they felt, just before the attack and when it actually happens.” Now, I wanted to find out a little more about how they start. I remembered that odd feeling of a click in my mind just before it happened. I’d felt that click before, but I couldn’t remember exactly when.
“Yes, we have a lot of documentation on how the subjects feel just before the attack. As far as I know, all are exceptionally angry, and many claim to be seeing a red haze in their vision. That red haze has been described to varying degrees, usually based on exactly how angry the person was. Then they claim excruciating pain in their heads and they black out. They usually wake up with incredible headaches, which no pain drugs we have can help, and almost all have nausea, though there have been some that didn’t and the same with the pain. It appears, the weaker the telepath, the less severe the symptoms are. There has never been two attacks back to back like that, though. That is concerning and interesting,” she said, which stoked my temper again.
“Please, don’t get so angry, Melanie. I’m a scientist, so I always get excited when I see something different, and out of the ordinary. I feel a need to study it, whatever it is, including people.”
“I can’t help but be angry, Mrs. Wilde. We’re here so you can study us and make us into your tools,” I replied, my anger beginning to rise even further.
“Yes, you will be a tool to help secure this country, but there are benefits to this,” she told me, repeating the same lie she told me only a few days ago. It made me just as mad then as it did the last time she said it. The problem was, I knew that my anger would cause the attacks, but at that moment, I was too angry to do anything about it.
“That’s a lie!” I told her, not caring how I sounded.
“No, Melanie, it’s not. You’re just too young to understand what we’re doing here and what you will do, in time. This school will make you into an incredible person, both for yourself and for your country,” she said, continuing the lies. She had to believe it, to say it the way she did.
“You kidnapped me from my family by lying to us. How is that good?” I was almost to the boiling point again. No, exploding point would be more accurate, but I couldn’t stop it. She just kept pushing me closer, with every word she said.
“Melanie, the regular people never understand what really matters and what is required to provide their security. This is one of those costs, and it must be paid.”
I was so angry, I couldn’t think anymore and I was staring at her with an intensity I’d never felt before, including all of my earlier attacks. “You don’t understand,” I managed to spit out, before my vision went completely red and I felt that click again. As the feeling entered my conscious mind and I recognized it, I felt the explosion of pain in my head and I closed my eyes, hoping for some relief. There was no relief, though.
I could sense that pool of energy again, and like last time, I reached out to it and tried to get some of it into myself. It was a struggle, as the pain made it hard to think or concentrate in any way. I put all of my weakening ability into the effort though. I felt my consciousness slipping away, and my strength with it. I forced myself to make one last grasp toward that pool, but like the last time, I fell short and blackness took me.
“Melanie, can you hear me?” It seemed like someone had been trying to wake me up for a while, but I couldn’t seem to recall how long, or if it was even real. Opening my eyes, pain shot through them as the light sent shards of colors into my senses. I closed my eyes back, hoping for the pain to stop, but it didn’t. I reopened my eyes, allowing my vision time to return, since closing them didn’t really matter.
Finally getting my bearings, and my brain beginning to function a little, I sat up, looking around for Aliyah. Seeing her beside me, I breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t look good, though. That was two in a row that she’d been there for, maybe three. I wasn’t really sure anymore.
“Thank you for answering my questions. I think I want to go to my room now,” I said, as I got up.
“Melanie, we need to perform some brain scans on you. You’ve had too many attacks too close together,” Mrs. Wilde told me.
“Mrs. Wilde, if it’s alright, I’d like to go lay down,” I told her, feeling really tired and nauseous.
“Melanie, I’m sorry but I must insist. Once John’s finished, you’re excused from classes for the next few days.”
“I thought you’d make me.” Oddly, I didn’t get mad at that, since I kind of expected it.
Luckily, the radiologist was very good and had my pictures taken very fast, letting me go to my room in less than an hour. When I got there, I was asleep as soon as my head touched my pillow, just like last time. I never noticed if Aliyah had made it back okay and I never woke up for dinner or anything else.