Forsaken (Book #1)

The remainder of the night I spent giggling and feeling exorbitantly happy. The kiss hadn’t been as passionate as the one that I had shared with Grayson but it had been wonderful just the same. Realization dumped over me like a bucket of cold water and my eyes went wide. I had kissed Grayson and then had kissed Lucian.

In the span of two days I had kissed two different guys. Crap. I closed my eyes in despair with a small groan. I had kissed two guys in two days. That night I vowed to keep my distance from Grayson and Lucian for as long as I could, until I was able to sort out my feelings.

For the next two weeks I was able to do that quite successfully. It was the middle of September and all of the leaves on the trees had changed into bright, vibrant colors. During those two weeks Grayson had made the training regimen more strenuous and often when I came home my muscles ached and bruises blossoming on my skin. But I was growing more proficient with the blades that once belonged to Ilya, and I was able to take on more than one opponent as well.

Interactions with Lucian were few and far between. When I did see him, we were cordial with each other. The time spent away from the two caused me to realize quite a few things. One, they were both insanely good looking and I was attracted to both of them. Two, Grayson was obviously the safer choice.

Lucian was a Demon, and he was on the side of the Afterdark. He was supposed to be my enemy. Grayson was a Vampire, and he was on the side of New Haven – the side I was on – and he wasn’t my enemy. If I had any sense at all I should abandon any interest that I had in Lucian and focus on a relationship with Grayson.

But of course, I wasn’t smart. I couldn’t just let go of what I was feeling for Lucian – though I knew almost next to nothing about him – but one thing that I did know was that he truly wasn’t a bad person. And that was enough for me. For now.

Third, they were more similar than one might think. Lucian had told me that he didn’t have a gift for words like Grayson did, but he was wrong. They both spoke eloquently and knew just how to get my heart fluttering.

Fourth, both of them wanted nothing more to protect me they just went about it different ways. Lucian, obviously had to side with the Afterdark but even when he had been mentally torturing me he had been surprisingly kind. He had made it clear that he would torture me but he wouldn’t do what Alani had in mind. Grayson, was my protector so that was pretty self-explanatory.

Finally, there was no easy choice. Lucian had this bad-boy persona going on, and was also incredibly sweet. He just managed to hide the sweet side of him pretty well. In ordinary circumstances, falling for Lucian would be of no thought. I would do it in a heartbeat. But, the circumstances that I found myself in were the exact opposite of normal, which brings me to Grayson.

Grayson is the good guy, the one who often gets overlooked. In ordinary, normal circumstances that’s just what would happen but as I had said earlier the circumstances weren’t normal. Grayson was my protector and I knew that I could count on him to do anything and everything in his power to keep me safe.

Basically, the two were opposite sides of the spectrum. Good and evil. I leaned against the wall beside Cassie’s locker, giving her a tentative smile when she looked at me. Her eyes softened a fraction but she didn’t return the smile. Between Grayson and Lucian I knew that Grayson would be the safest choice but damn it, I wanted to do something reckless for once in my life.

In the end though, I didn’t know which one would be better for me. I’d just have to make a decision and hope that I didn’t end up hurting anyone else in the process. But looking back on it, hurt is inevitable.

Somehow after school Lucian had managed to corner me. Anticipation coiled in my gut, as he caged me in, my back pressing against the bricks. Could he kill me? Probably, but somehow I knew that even if he had been ordered to he wouldn’t.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Lucian murmured, lips brushing against the shell of my ear and causing a shiver to race through my body. “Why?”

“I needed to sort some things out,” I answered vaguely, my eyes looking over his shoulder.

“Like what?” He inquired.

I inhaled shakily my brain turning to mush. I turned my head to say something when the most ridiculous thing happened. Our lips brushed. That little brushing of the lips seemed to unlock something in Lucian because then he was lifting me up, pressing me harder against the bricks as he deepened the kiss.

I ran my hands through his hair, a soft moan leaving my lips as he kneaded the soft skin of my side. I locked my legs around his waist, settling on wrapping my arms around his neck and toying with the strands of hair lying on the nape of his neck. A growl or something rumbled in Lucian’s chest and he became more fervent in the kiss.

“Oh my God!” A voice shouted.

Lucian and I froze, and then slowly we parted. I dropped back onto the ground, my legs a little shaky as I tried to regain my bearings. Lucian wrapped an arm around my waist, giving me some stability. Slowly we turned around to face the firing squad – Cassie.

Her eyes were alight with happiness and she had the largest grin possible on her face. “Are you two together?” She questioned gesturing to Lucian and I.

“No,” I said at the same time Lucian said, “Yes.”

We glanced at each other.

Then I answered firmly, “No we aren’t Cassie. Not yet.”

She pouted, but soon brightened. “You guys like each other don’t you?” She didn’t wait for us to answer before she continued, “Does Grayson know? Wait of course he doesn’t, if he knew you wouldn’t be kissing in a corner. Are you going to tell him?”

“Um…No,” I said. “Look Cassie you can’t tell anyone that you saw us, okay? This just has to stay between the three of us.”

Her face fell. “I don’t like secrets Calla.”

“I know, but right now keeping secrets is honestly the best option right now for Lucian and I.” I murmured, “Please Calla?”

She looked between Lucian and I, torment in her eyes. I hated to be putting her in this position but I couldn’t have her blabbing to anyone that she saw Lucian and I kissing lest Grayson find out about it. Cassie looked away from me biting her lip, then after what felt like an eternity she nodded her head.

“Thank you,” I breathed staring at her gratefully.

She didn’t reply other than another nod of the head, and then she was hurrying away. I watched her go a little sadly. We had been getting closer again, and now all of our progress had been blown to shreds because I asked her to keep a secret. When she had left my sight I turned to Lucian, my eyes going a little replied when I saw how unruffled he was at the encounter with her and how happy he appeared to be.

“You have practice tonight,” Lucian commented, dropping his arm from around my waist. When I nodded he said, “You should skip it.”

“And why would I do that?” I crossed my arms a little amused.

“Why to spend time with me of course!” Lucian said exuberantly. He sobered, “I know a lot about you, but you know nothing about me. I wish to rectify that.”

“I can’t just skip training Lucian,” I murmured, looking away from him. “No matter how much I enjoy your company, I can’t skip training.”

He sighed. “I expected that, since you seem to be so honorable and hell-bent on doing the right thing. But what if I come to your house are you’re done practicing, and we can go somewhere.”

“Like a date?” I checked, lifting my eyes to his.

He looked a little surprised at the question I had just posed him but recovered quickly. “Yes,” He confirmed with a nod of his head, “exactly like a date.”

* * * * *

As my date with Lucian drew nearer, I was finding it hard to concentrate on training. Grayson noticed my distraction but said nothing, merely telling me to focus and concentrate. Every time he told me to focus, his tone would grow a little harder and so I tried to do as he said but it was hard. I had never been on a date before, and I was going on a date with someone who was supposed to be my enemy.

Grayson ended up dismissing me an hour earlier than he normally did. I stared at him apologetically as I lowered my swords, but he shook his head dismissing my apology. He only told me to be more focused next time, and to get a good night’s rest. I felt bad that I was hiding my date with Lucian from someone that trusted me and someone that I also trusted, but if Grayson knew shit would definitely hit the fan.

Like Cassie, I didn’t enjoy keeping secrets but with the life that I had entered into keeping secrets was a must. I headed home a skip in my step, and was unable to keep a smile from blossoming on my face as I headed up to my room to wait for Lucian. I tapped my feet anxiously on the ground, my fingers twitching as I waited for him to arrive.

I expected for him to just pop in like he normally did, but what he did surprised and pleased me to no end. He came up to the door, and rang the doorbell. I ran downstairs, throwing the door open my eyes going wide when I saw it was Lucian with a bouquet of dahlias – my favorite flower – in one hand and in the other he held a few calla lilies.

“Hi,” Lucian said a little shyly.

“Hi.” I echoed. “Thanks for the flowers.”

He nodded handing them over to me and I hurried to put them in vases. I hurried back to the door and stared at Lucian. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him and the door fell closed behind me. And then we were gone from the front door of my house and a moment later we had appeared in a beautiful, grassy field. In the distance I could see a large, black obsidian tower silhouetted by the setting sun.

It was a stark contrast to the grassy green fields and the flowers that dotted the greenery. A tug on my wrist reminded me of Lucian’s presence and I turned around my eyes going wide when I saw a large tree, with beautiful flowers blooming in its branches. At the base of the tree in a cliché setting laid a picnic blanket, but no picnic basket. Lucian led me over to the blanket and we sat down.

With my free hand I picked at the loose threads of the black and silver blanket.

“So, what do we do?” I asked cringing at how awkward I sounded.

“Now we talk,” Lucian murmured. “What’s your favorite color?”

The first color that came to my mind was gold and my cheeks flush and ducked my head but Lucian tipped my head back up his fingers underneath my chin.

“What is it that’s got you so embarrassed petite moineau?” Lucian asked, using the name that he had called me so long ago.

“Well, gold is a particularly nice color but I am more fond of dark reds and blues,” I murmured haltingly.

“Mm, I find myself partial to brown and of course, the color emerald.” He smiled charmingly at me, “Of course purple is also a wonderful color. There is a stone, where I was born that is a spectacular shade of purple. It emits this very soft glow, and rumor has it that Demons aren’t able to touch it. Maybe that’s why I find it so fascinating. Beautiful but untouchable.”

“What is it called?” I asked interested.

Lucian shrugged. “No idea, we never had a name for it from where I was from. We just called it ‘The Stone’ and the younglings would call it, ‘Stone of Hope’. But we just never had a scientific name for it, we had no need.”

“How old are you?” I couldn’t help but ask. There were some times when he would be talking so normally and then he’d slip into formal speech.

Lucian laughed, “Didn’t you know that it’s impolite to ask someone their age?” I stared at him, patiently waiting. “I am the same age as you petite moineau, give or take a few hundred years.”

“Hundred?” I gasped.

“Okay maybe not one-hundred,” Lucian amended, “but I have at least fifty years on you.”

I didn’t reply, boggled by the fact that he said he was the same age as me and then said give or take half a century. If he was that old, why was he drawn to me? I was practically a baby then.

“What is wrong?” Lucian questioned tilting his head to the side like a puppy would. “Did I say something to upset you?”

“Just, the age difference.” I said unable to think of an excuse.

“Age is but a number Calla,” Lucian reminded me gently. “One day, you’ll be just as old as I am and the age difference won’t seem like that big of a deal.”

I nodded, but found it a lot harder after that to actually enjoy the date. Still, I did have a nice time.