Forever Friends

A young woman sits alone in a wooden chair, rocking gently as she clutches a stuffed doll in her arms. She wears a frilly white dress. Her blonde locks reach her lower back and her blue eyes are a pale blue. However, her eyes hold no life and stare off into the distance, as though looking for something she’ll never find. Even upon hearing footsteps behind her, she doesn’t move an inch and allows the arms of her assailant to wrap around her neck.

“Mama! We’ve come to see you. Are you well?” She slides onto her Mother’s lap, never releasing her hold. Her hair is a matching gold, but her eyes are light brown and her skin is less pale. She wears shorts and a t-shirt, and her hair is straight and short, revealing her tomboyish style. “Papa and Miss Lori are here too. Let’s all play together!” She’s enthusiastic.

“Play?” This piques her interest slightly. “Yes, I want to play. Do you like dolls?”

“I do! I have one too.” She reaches down and grabs a different doll from the floor. “I named her Morgan, after my mom and the most important person in the world to me.”

“Oh, that’s amazing! My name’s Morgan too. My doll’s name is Annabelle. It’s the name I’d like to give my daughter when I have one someday. I’ve always wanted to have a little girl, like a living doll. I’d dress her up in so many pretty clothes and love her more than anyone.”

“That’s so nice. I bet that girl would be the luckiest in the world.” The girl smiles, but the pain behind her eyes is apparent. “You want to know something cool?” Morgan nods. “My name is actually Annabelle. You have my Mama’s name and I have the name you want to give your daughter. Isn’t that so crazy?”

“Yea, seriously! I can’t wait to grow up so I can make it real. It’s my greatest dream.”

Annabelle manages to keep a smile, even though she’s hurting. Even though she’s used to having to do this every day, it’s still painful to know that her own mother doesn’t know who she is. However, she refuses to give up, because she believes that if she keeps it up, one day she will understand and then she can truly become her Mama’s most precious treasure.

Lee watches the two in anguish, knowing that their Annabelle is hurting, but is being so strong for all of them. He wants to make everything better, but he knows there’s nothing he can do. He walks out the room, deciding to leave the girls to play. He leans against the wall, fighting his tears. He feels a gentle hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Lori’s sea blue eyes looking at him in remorse. “If you look at me like that, you’ll really make me cry Lori.”

“Maybe that’s what I’m going for.” She embraces him, his head resting on her chest. “When was the last time you cried? Don’t you think it’s about time to let go of your pride? It’s ok to be weak, especially when we’re alone. Let me support you. It’s what I was made for.”

“What are you saying? I’m not being prideful. I’m just used to it. I’m totally fine.”

“Lee…the huge wet spot on my shirt says otherwise. Be honest with yourself.”

“What are you…huh?” Lee suddenly becomes aware of the moisture on his cheeks and the saltiness on his lips. He realizes that tears are falling steadily from his eyes and onto Lori’s chest where his head rests. “I-, I-!” His knees abruptly buckle, and he falls to the ground, but Lori holds on tight, not allowing his head to leave her chest as she falls to the floor with him.

It becomes silent except for the sound of his sobs and sniffling. Lori holds him tightly against her, letting him cry for as long as he needs, as she gently strokes his head. It’s at times like this that he needs her most and the only times she gets to show how much she loves him and to pretend that he loves her too. She can only pretend, as his heart was never hers to hold.

After crying for a while longer, Lee finally lets his head come to rest on Lori’s lap. Looking up at her, he calmly says, “I’m ok now Lori. I needed that though. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me Lee, it’s what I vowed to do. I’m here to support you and Morgan in any way I can. If I didn’t have you two and Anna to look after, I’d serve no purpose. I’d be no better than a humanoid without a master. When Leo died, I became all but obsolete as I’d lost my purpose of being his companion and I was badly damaged; still failing to protect him in the end. I had hoped that Tessa and Lena would scrap me, but they didn’t. They repaired me and kept me around as an assistant beside Simon, but I was empty, feeling like I wasn’t important at all. You and Morgan had run away by that point and Diana and Clyde were kept far away from me, knowing I wouldn’t hesitate to enact my revenge against them if I could. Despite this, both you and they had each other to lean on. I however, had no one anymore and it was hard.”

“I feel really sorry about that Lori. Honestly, I’d have let you come with us if you hadn’t been isolated for repair. Neither of us knew anything back then though. We both thought it’d be better to just run away from it all and so we didn’t think about the consequences very well. I was the one who encouraged Morgan to follow along when she was hesitating. I’ve never told you this, but Morgan wanted to stay behind and wait for you to get better. She said she didn’t want to leave you alone. But I insisted and fearing I’d leave her behind too, she caved. I’m sorry Lori.”

“You don’t have to apologize; you did what you thought was best. I don’t blame you.”

“Maybe not, but I blame myself. For everything that followed. Morgan and I learned firsthand the horrors this world had to offer and the evil in people’s hearts. Honestly, the abuse we had to endure is why we have no interest in sexual intimacy. We’ve had enough forced upon us involuntarily for a lifetime. We were exploited far too young for it to be desired ever again.”

“Well, that’s understandable. For me, I have no biological need for it, so I’m indifferent to it. That being said, I have enjoyed the few opportunities I’ve had to partake in such activities over the years. Of course, I’m fine with not being intimate in that way with you. I think the emotional bond we all share for each other is far more important anyway. So, don’t feel bad.”

“You’re too pure for this world Lori, honestly. I really wish Leo could have seen that. Maybe then he’d have been looking your way, rather than the direction of a girl he was never going to get.” He says this with a slight smile and Lori gives one of her own.

“You’re so sweet Lee, but don’t talk trash about a dead man,” she laughs. “Leo was a lot of things, but he wasn’t as big of a jerk as he seemed. He never treated me poorly, but he couldn’t give me his heart. I never blamed him for it though, because I knew exactly how it felt. How it felt to be chained to someone you didn’t love and never have a chance to be with the one you did. We were actually more alike than anyone realized, especially among our group.”

“Wait, are you saying that you didn’t love Leo? Even though he was your assigned partner? I thought your purpose as FFs were to be everything for your human.”

“No, no. That was never our purpose. That’s the whole point of why we’re so different from any other humanoids that were created before us. We have conscious feelings and although we are there to be the perfect companions for our partners, we still have free will. At least, it’s what Tessa had in mind. Of course, once that tragic day happened, everything changed, and the government made us into more of less made to order companions. It was all they could do if they didn’t want the project to be scrapped entirely. How sad it was to see the FFs with such potential, be dumbed down to be mere objects to be owned. Even sadder, Simon, our prodigal brother, was the one to make the suggestion. Needless to say, the animosity the other FFs have is strong.”

“So, you’re basically saying that although you were made to be the lifetime companions of your human partner, it didn’t necessarily mean you had to become a couple? You could’ve just been good friends and still go on to love other people if the mutual attraction wasn’t there in that way? If that’s the case, then we’ve certainly fallen a far from the original mark.”

“We have and that’s the issue we find ourselves facing now. We no longer have a choice and in turn, humans no longer have freedom due to the neural links. It’s fair in the sense that we are both at the mercy at the other, so the relationships still work, but it’s at the cost of enslaving ourselves willingly to the other. Humans are only in control if the FF is pacified. FFs are willing to devote themselves to their partners, but only as far as they see them to be morally just. The moment they feel they are becoming a danger to the FFs themselves or to others, the FFs have the clearance to take control. Though, most of the humans aren’t aware of this. It seems they think the neural link is to make the FFs better companions, but truthfully, it’s for governmental control over the humans using the FFs as pawns. That’s why technically, what Diana said was true. The mass control of the humans through the FFs neural link system does require their IT tech to activate it against their will, but she probably assumed you didn’t realize the FFs can override the system and initiate control themselves. Of course, doing so without approval will result in consequences. However, if the master control were to be disabled….”

“We can have a bloody revolution.” Lee looks suddenly serious. “I don’t think Diana really understood how serious this is shaping up to be. I hope she’ll consider my request seriously and not write off my threat as a bluff. Sadly, I don’t think she will.”

“Then it will be her hands that the blood of millions will rest on when it’s all over.”

“My, you’re a savage Lori.” He laughs deeply. “But, that’s why you’re my bestie.”

Lori smiles genuinely, but her heart aches. No matter how much she supports him, he’ll never see her as more than a good friend who is there to comfort him when he’s feeling down with hugs and cuddles. “Of course. I just want to take the burden from you, even if only a bit.”

“You never finished explaining yourself earlier. You know, about how you could understand Leo’s heart being pulled by someone else. Who was it that you loved instead?”

Lori smiles coyly. “That’s one secret you’ll never know.” She giggles.

“Annabelle!” They hear a loud shriek from back in the room and they jump up and hastily make their way to them. They arrive to see Annabelle shaking intensely on the floor.

“Crap, she’s having a seizure! Lori, fetch the medic at once!” He shouts loudly.

“Yes, I’ll go right away,” she says in a panicked voice as she runs out.

Lee rushes to Anna’s side, propping her head and support her body before she can hurt herself. “Hang in there Anna, you’ll be ok. I’m here; daddy’s here.” He cuddles her.

Morgan stares with a panicked expression, terrified, but unable to do a thing. Even when the medic arrives and takes Annabelle away with her father just behind, she still just sits and stares, holding her doll tight in her arms as her tears fall, without her understanding why.

***

“Is she ok Lee?” Lori stands beside Lee, who sits beside Anna’s bed.

“Yes, she’s ok, but her seizures are becoming more constant and intense. The medic said this would happen, as Epilepsy is a serious condition, especially without adequate medication to combat it. Ultimately, she’s going to keep getting worse if we don’t find that medication. Of course, that medication is only found in Providence hospitals. So, now I’ve got no choice.”

“You mean…it’s time? Are we going to begin mobilizing?”

“Yes. If Diana doesn’t act within the next few days, we’ll begin our attack and usher in the biggest revolution this world has ever seen.” He takes his daughter’s hand. “This child is my motivation to go forward. Yes, while Morgan and I are sick of the means, neither of us would regret the end. Morgan knew that she was not the one to blame and she came to cherish her while she grew in her belly. We were a happy little family by the time we’d found refuge with the revolutionists and she’d given birth to Anna. The first two years were great, but then she just regressed, becoming a mere child herself. It was hard to handle and honestly, I was close to taking the short ride off the cliff, taking Morgan along with me, but every time that precious girl looked at me and smiled, I knew I couldn’t give up and that Morgan would never forgive me if I did. So, I made her my reason to move forward and she’s what’s been driving me since.”

“I really admire you and your strength Lee. I’m happy I’ve had the pleasure of knowing you. No matter what happens, know that I’ll be loyal to you and your family until the very end.”

“Thank you, Lori, that means a lot. I’ll never forget that loyalty, even when we must part. I promise I’ll make a world better than this one, so that your sacrifice will be worth it.”

They smile together, until they are interrupted by someone. “Excuse me Sir, forgive me for interrupting at such a serious time, but we’ve just received troubling intel from our spies.”

He looks at Anna and then to Lori and placing a hand on his shoulder, she says, “go. I’ll look after Anna.”

He stands and hugs her tightly, taking her slightly by surprise. “Thank you, Lori, so much. I’ll return as soon as I can, so please take care of my daughter until then.” He releases her and follows the man out.

Lori stands silently in that spot, clutching her arms around her, as though trying to keep the sensation of his embrace with her. No matter how much she tries to resist, she can’t stop desiring his touch. She wants it more than anything, but he’s not interested in that kind of intimacy. She sits beside Anna’s bed, brushing her hair to the side. Sometimes she imagines that Anna is her daughter with Lee and that they are the happy family, but then she feels guilty. It may be just a fantasy, but it’s one that erases Morgan from the picture, which she doesn’t want to do, as if nothing else, she did consider her a friend back then, despite desiring her partner in secret. Being intimate with him now, even in the purest way, makes her feel like scum.

“You should really tell him how you feel.” Lori whips her head around with a start. She sees the familiar blonde woman in front of her and almost feels as if she’s looking at a ghost. “Tell you what, I’ll confess my feelings to the one I love if you agree to tell him too.”

“M-, Morgan?” Lori stands and approaches her cautiously. “Is that you? Like, you, you?”

“It is. Though it honestly feels like I’ve been asleep for a long, long, time.” She walks over to the bed and gazes down at the sleeping girl, looking like a little angel. “My god, this is my Annabelle? How old is she now? The last I saw her she was only around two or so.”

“She just made seven last month. You’ve been asleep for about five years.”

“Wow, that long? Such a shame, I’ve missed so much of her childhood. Mine too I suppose. I was just barely an adult when I had her. Seventeen is a young age to become a mother. Perhaps my mental state had not yet reached the maturity needed to properly raise a child and decided to let my brain mature more. I must believe there was some biological reason that I could seriously abandon my child when she probably needed me most. I’m sorry darling.” Lori watches as she gently caresses Anna’s head with tears forming in her eyes. “Forgive me.”

Lori suddenly feels inferior and intrusive, as if she’s interrupting a private moment between mother and daughter. She hates herself for feeling a sense of jealousy and allowing herself to be carried away with her fantasies. She thinks it best she leaves, but just as she gets up to go, she’s pulled back by her arm and in one swift motion, Morgan has positioned her lips on Lori’s, locking them in a kiss. Lori is stunned and unable to move as the kiss deepens. After a long moment, her lips are freed and Morgan steps back. “I’m sorry, but I’ve been waiting so long for that. Even in my period of sleep, I would often dream of you and tasting your lips.”

Lori is completely flabbergasted, and her cheeks become increasingly flushed as she touches her lips. “Morgan…what was….” She doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have stolen a kiss without asking, but I feared that it would be my only chance, since I know your feelings for me are not the same as mine for you.”

“What do you mean? Are you saying you…you love me?”

“Yes, I always have, even back then. It hurt me to know you had to be paired with Leo, who didn’t love you that way and that you longed so desperately for Lee, who didn’t want you. I wanted to be the one to make you happy, but I knew your heart was pulled towards Lee and that his was towards me and as his assigned partner, I thought it’d be too cruel to turn away from him like Leo was doing to you. I decided it was best to keep my feelings hidden the same as you, for the greater good. Even now, I know you wish to be with Lee, but he still only has eyes for me. I hate that I don’t love him that way, despite going along with him all these years, so I’d like it if he could finally start looking at someone who does love him that way. I think he could love you in time if you say it clearly to him. I don’t think he’ll ever desire sexual intimacy again though. He thinks I don’t either, but the truth is, I don’t desire men. I only desire women; such as you.”

Lori sits down, feeling overwhelmed by all the things she’s just been told. “All this time, I never knew how you felt, yet you knew how I felt about Lee? I thought I was concealing it well, but it seems I wasn’t. I feel so ashamed. I also don’t understand how you could love me. I’m nothing special. In the end, I’m not a match for either of you. That’s why I’ll never tell him. I decided long ago that I wouldn’t ever tell him how I felt and that I would only support him when he needed me and look after the ones he loves; you and Anna. That is my only purpose now. So, while I appreciate your willingness to give him to me, I must decline. Besides, I’ll only be able to stay with you all a bit longer, as soon I’ll be nothing but an empty vessel.”

“I know. I know what you all are planning, as I’ve heard you talking. Even in my childish state, I subconsciously stored all you said to me or around me and so I understand your intentions, but you do not quite understand mine. I’m not giving Lee to you, as for better or worse, he is my husband and we have Anna. However, we cannot give each other what the other is looking for, but Lori, you can. You can give him the intimacy he needs without the need to be sexual and you can satisfy my desires as well as your own if you are willing. Basically, I’m proposing that the three of us become an alternative family, of course with Anna as well. Of course, it’s your choice and I won’t force you, especially in reference to intimacy between you and I, but I thought I’d at least put it out there for you to consider. No matter your feelings however, I want you to come back to us Lori. You’ve become an important part of all our lives and so you must return to us. I believe there’s a way, so whatever you plan to do, make sure you come back to us. We need you and we always will.” She turns back to Anna, saying no more.

Lori says nothing, but she can feel a sensation she’s never felt before; she thinks it may be love. However, if it’s love for Morgan or the sensation of knowing she is loved is a mystery she still has no answer for. However, she knows what she must do now, to protect her family.