Forbidden: Part One (Luna & Sol Omegaverse Book 1)

Three alphas stood in the center of the room, their eyes snapping to mine as I walked in.

Fuck, they were hot.

The alpha closest to me was dressed casually in a light blue button-down shirt and black jeans, his messy curls and glasses making him feel approachable even though he towered over me.

“You must be Josephine. I’m Ben. We’re so excited to meet you. Please come in!”

Ben said all of this so rapidly I could hardly understand what he was saying, but there was something so genuine about him I felt my lips curl into an involuntary smile. He had a huge grin on his face, and his body brimmed with energy. His gaze didn’t feel predatory like Pack Madden, and his enthusiasm put me a little more at ease. The alphas I was used to were stoic and aggressive—Ben seemed to be the complete opposite. I moved further into the room, and my knees almost buckled when his spiced apple scent hit me like a crisp autumn day. It was energizing and comforting at the same time.

“Ben, you’ve got to calm the fuck down,” a low voice said from behind him. Ben stepped to the side, and my eyes fell on an alpha with massive, broad shoulders and thick, tattooed arms.

“I’m Cam. Like Ben said, we’re glad to get the chance to meet you.”

I didn’t know what scent to expect from this intimidating alpha, but it definitely wasn’t the cinnamon roll scent that hit me. It was so perfectly sweet my inner omega urged me to lick him. What the fuck is happening to me? I felt dazed as the third alpha of the pack stepped towards me.

“Hi Josephine, I’m Theo. It’s nice…” his voice trailed off as he froze, eyes wide.

I wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction until his warm coffee scent surrounded me. I almost whimpered. It was the same scent I had been inhaling off my sweatshirt for the past two days. How did his scent get on my clothes? Did he work at the hospital? As I inhaled another lungful, I got the briefest flash of memory of strong arms holding me in Trader Joe’s. Had Theo been there when I fainted?

My mind reeled with questions, but I was also acutely aware we were being watched. Ben cleared his throat as Theo and I continued staring at each other. Theo looked as shocked as I felt. It didn’t seem like he expected to see me here, either.

“Is everything okay?” Ben said, shooting Theo a pointed look.

Theo nodded almost imperceptibly towards the camera in the corner while still holding my gaze. I gave him the tiniest nod in return. Best not to talk about what happened in the store, just in case they would hold it against us.

“Everything’s great,” Theo said with an easy smile. “Like I was saying, it’s really nice to meet you, Josephine.”

Fuck, his accent was sexy. His dark hair was neatly combed back, but some stray pieces fell on his face. My fingers itched with the urge to run my hands through his hair, and I was starting to get lightheaded from all my deep breaths. They all smelled so fucking good, and I had no idea why—no alphas ever smelled like this to me. I knew I should be intimidated being alone with them, but I felt strangely safe. Part of me longed to move even closer, which scared me—I didn’t know these alphas and couldn’t let my guard down around them, no matter what my biology said.

I took some deep breaths through my mouth to calm myself down. I realized I was just standing in front of them like a complete idiot without introducing myself.

“Hi. Um, I go by Josie,” I squeaked out. Wow, your conversation skills are incredible. 

“Josie, that suits you,” Ben said with a smile.

“Thanks,” I said quietly. We fell into silence—the four of us standing in the room, staring at each other. The air was electric, and instead of feeling self-conscious under their gaze, my inner omega wanted to preen and impress them.

Theo cleared his throat. “Why don’t we all sit down? Josie, can I get you a drink?”

“Water, please,” I said.

I moved towards the same chair I’d sat in for the last interview. As I walked past Cam, he lifted his hand to touch me but stopped abruptly, forming fists at his side. A pang of disappointment washed through me as he lowered his arm, even though I didn’t want him to touch me. Or maybe I did?

I lowered myself into the seat, feeling shaky. Theo held out a glass of water, and as I reached out to take it, our fingers brushed against each other. A little jolt of electricity ran through me at his touch, and it seemed that he felt it, too, by the way his eyes widened. He blinked and shook his head before sitting next to Ben and Cam. It was almost comical how tightly they were squeezed together, the couch straining to hold the three massive alphas.

The silence stretched on uncomfortably. Their eyes remained fixed on me as if they couldn’t look away, their bodies almost vibrating with intensity. Were they disappointed by how I looked? I shifted in my seat, tugging at my jumpsuit, hyperaware of how it highlighted my stomach area while sitting. They were probably thinking I didn’t look like a real omega and trying to figure out how to end the interview early. They were only here as a favor to Amirah. What if they rejected me after this interview? I would be stuck with Pack Madden.

The vise-like grip on my chest returned and made me feel like I was slowly suffocating. I clenched my hands into tight fists, desperate to stop my panic attack so I didn’t reveal any vulnerability to these alphas. It would probably be on their long list of reasons they wouldn’t bond me. I felt myself growing almost hysterical with the idea that they wouldn’t want me, which didn’t make sense since I didn’t want them. But the thought of their rejection made me feel so sick I was worried I would throw up.

Slowly, I realized that the three alphas were saying my name, their voices distorted as if I were underwater. I felt like I was drowning again—terrified of having to bond with these alphas and in complete despair of their rejection.

A warm hand pressed into my thigh, giving a gentle squeeze. The stressed scent of burnt cinnamon hit me, jolting me out of my haze. My omega wanted to know why an alpha was upset and for me to fix it. I blinked. Cam was kneeling on the floor in front of me, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”

I didn’t know how to answer. I was not okay, but I also knew I had no choice but to get through this. I gave him a nod and glanced over his shoulder to where Theo and Ben were looking at me anxiously. I could scent their distress and wondered why they stayed back. Maybe they were trying not to crowd me, a stark contrast to most alphas who felt entitled to touch any unbonded omega they came across. I realized I didn’t mind Cam’s touch on my leg. In fact, it felt comforting and warm in a way I couldn’t remember touch ever feeling.

Cam slowly moved in closer, his head level with mine, even though he was kneeling on the floor. He pressed his lips against my ear and whispered, “You can get through this, sweetheart. We’ve got you. Just get through this next hour.” He pulled away. He then said a little louder, “Are you alright, Josie? Has your dizziness passed?”

He was helping me play this off as a physical illness, so I said in a shaky voice, “Yes, I’m better now. I’ve been feeling dizzy and tired lately, with my heat coming on soon.”

All three alphas nodded their heads, and Cam slowly stood to return to the couch. I let out the tiniest whimper as he moved away, not wanting him to leave. He froze, and for a second, I thought he might turn back around to touch me again. Theo cleared his throat and looked meaningfully at Cam, who stiffly took a few steps forward before sinking back onto the couch. I knew this was a precarious situation, but I suddenly felt alone and abandoned in my chair. Cam shot me an apologetic look, his hand clenching the couch’s armrest so tightly I was worried it would splinter.

Alphas had the instinctual urge to comfort omegas, and I was sure Pack Ashwood’s care had nothing to do with me and everything to do with biology. A wave of sadness washed over me. I wished there was someone who wanted to hold me without expectations. I had never been hugged or comforted as a child, at least that I remembered. Sometimes I had flashes of a man with bright green eyes just like mine, twirling me and laughing. As a child, I believed these were memories of my dad, but now I thought they were probably just wishful fantasies.

Omegas, more than any designation, needed touch. If deprived of physical affection, our health slowly deteriorated. Growing up, Sam and I cuddled together in secret. That ended when I went to the DA.

Silence blanketed the room, and I searched for something to say to appease whoever was watching. I took a deep breath, clenching my hands tightly, and asked, “Will you tell me about yourselves?”

This seemed to startle them out of their stupor, and Ben jumped in. “Ahh, of course! Sorry, it’s been a while since we’ve done an interview and you’ve surprised us. In the best way,” he added, probably when he saw my face fall.

Surprised them? Probably shocked them. They’re just too polite to kick you out.

The three of them seemed on edge, and Theo kept looking at my fists where my fingernails pressed crescent-shaped marks into my palm.

“We’ve been together for fifteen years,” Ben continued. “Cam and Theo are like brothers to me. We met as teenagers and quickly became close friends. About ten years ago, we started our own company, Ashwood Consulting Firm. Other companies hire us to review their security systems. Cam has the most experience in security, I work with computer programming, and Theo is the company director and keeps us all in line. We have about twenty employees working for us, so a lot of what we do now is managing and directing, but we still travel quite a bit to meet with companies and set up their security evaluations.”

I was envious that they got to run their own company and travel while I couldn’t even legally get a job.

“I think that’s cool that you… umm… decided you wanted to work together. What else do you do besides work?” I asked lamely.

“We have a small home about an hour north in the mountains. It’s quite beautiful and secluded,” Theo said. “Have you ever been to the mountains?”

I shook my head. Growing up, we never took vacations. I hadn’t even been allowed to leave our community, which was situated in Forestside, a suburb of New River. Moving into Sam’s apartment last year was the first time I’d even been downtown. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be alone in the mountains with these alphas. My heart rate increased, and I felt anxious… but also excited?

“You don’t have to be nervous, sweetheart,” Cam said gently, or as gently as he could in that deep voice of his.

That was the third time he had called me sweetheart. I should hate it, but the traitorous omega part of my brain loved it and wanted to hear what other pet names he would call me. My eyes caught on his thick forearms, and my fingers itched to pull his hair down from his bun.

“So, Josie,” Theo said in a soft, soothing voice, “What do you enjoy doing?”

“I like reading and baking,” I said, sticking with the omega-acceptable hobbies.

“What do you like to bake?” Ben asked excitedly.

“Oh, uh… I like to bake all sorts of things. Lately, I’m really into bread making.”

“Ben loves baking and cooking,” Theo said. “He keeps us from starving. Cam and I are rubbish at preparing meals.”

We kept the small talk going for a while. Ben told me about his favorite recipes, and they told me about their home in the historic district. I had only been to that area of the city once with Sam, but it was charming. I had even thought about how amazing it would be to live in one of the gorgeous old brick homes.

Finally, the clock in the room showed that we had been talking for an hour. The longer I was surrounded by the swirl of alpha pheromones, the stronger the urge was to curl up with Cam, Theo, and Ben and make sure I was drenched in their scents. I was already out of control with this entire situation, and now it felt like my body was betraying me, urging me to trust these alphas just because they smelled good.

Ben’s voice broke through my spiraling thoughts. “Josie, I hope you know how special we think you are, and we hope you choose us.”

“We know you don’t really know us yet,” Theo added, “But we would love to get to know you more and would be honored if you chose us as your pack.”

“We promise to protect and care for you,” Cam added.

Their words sounded sincere, but I knew they were just putting on a good show. I should have been grateful that they were willing to take me on as a favor to Amirah, but my heart ached with the reality that this was just another situation where I wasn’t really wanted. They had been a pack for fifteen years without bonding an omega, and there was no reason for them to change their minds now. I was defective—too fat, too outspoken, too much everything. There was no question that I would choose them, and I hoped they wouldn’t grow to resent me for becoming their burden. Maybe over time, we could become friends? Or perhaps I could at least be useful and clean their house? I tried not to think about other ways they might find me useful, holding onto hope that these alphas were as kind as they appeared.

I didn’t know how to respond to their sweet words, so I gave a little nod.

My legs were unsteady as I stood to move towards the door. I swayed, reaching out to grab hold of a chair to steady myself, but before I could, Cam’s arm wrapped around me. I leaned into him automatically, my face brushing his chest. His touch sent shivers through me, and I had to stop myself from pressing my body flush with his.

My slick had never come in after years of being on suppressants, but I felt it now for the first time, dampness in my underwear and a warm burning sensation rippling from my core into my stomach. The alphas jerked to a stop, and I knew they could scent my arousal. My inner omega was thrilled—she wanted the alphas to know how they were affecting us, but the fact that they could scent my arousal felt invasive.

“Sorry,” I muttered, looking down. Cam reached out and gently grasped my chin, lifting my head until I was gazing into his dark brown eyes.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

Theo peered down at me with concern. He tentatively ran his hand through my hair as if he was scared to touch me but knew I needed comfort. The gesture made me want to purr. Ben, by far the most relaxed and exuberant of all of us, pulled me into a quick hug, causing Cam to growl. I blushed at their affection that left me craving more, secretly pleased that their scents were now on my clothes. When I got into bed tonight, it would be like I was surrounded by them.

Theo sighed, his eyes lingering on my face before he moved to open the door, his lips down-turned as if he didn’t want to end our time together.

As the four of us exited the room, I saw Dave standing outside the door, his expression hard and protective.

“You’re needed in the meeting room to debrief from the interviews,” he said.

Dread shot through me. I did not want to face my parents, the director, or anyone associated with the DC. I felt myself wilting—I desperately needed to be somewhere enclosed and safe. A soft whine escaped my lips, and I curled into myself.

Ben, Cam, and Theo moved towards me simultaneously, drawn in by my distress. I had trained myself not to whine to avoid attracting unwanted attention, but my omega wanted these alphas’ concern and protection. As they closed in, my chest tightened. I cowered away from them without realizing what I was doing, and they all stopped.

“Josie.” Ben’s voice was an agonized whisper that almost brought tears to my eyes.

How could I be scared for them to be near me and also hurt that they stepped away?

I gathered myself enough to lift my head. They looked deeply concerned, and I could scent their distress and anger. Were they upset at my reaction? I opened my mouth to offer them an explanation for my behavior, to thank them for being here for me, something. But no words would come out. Instead, I turned towards Dave.

“Let’s get this over with, I guess,” I said quietly.

I followed Dave across the atrium, my boots clicking against the marble floor. I looked over my shoulder to where Theo, Ben, and Cam stood, their eyes locked on me. They looked devastatingly sad. My lip trembled, and I turned away, overwhelmed with the distinct wrongness of leaving them behind.

Dave stopped in the middle of the hallway in front of two large wooden doors. My muscles tensed as I prepared myself to face whoever was waiting for me inside. He gave me a little nod and opened the door, gesturing for me to enter.

My stomach lurched when I saw Designation Center director, Marshall Whiteburn, seated at the table with my parents and Amirah. I didn’t know him well, having only met him in passing at various functions my parents put on, but he and Glen Jacoby worked closely together. I had often seen them walking down the halls together at the DA. He met my gaze with a sneer, and my stomach churned. He looked at me in the same predatory way Glen always had.

Amirah smiled softly at me, the only person in the room expressing any warmth. My parents were all wearing disgruntled expressions, radiating a distinctly pissed-off energy.

“Sit down, Josephine,” Jericho snarled, infusing his command with an alpha bark.

Visceral hatred born out of years of abuse filled me. How dare he use his bark on me here, forcing my omega to respond to his command?

My vision darkened as the past tried to encroach on the present—the smell of antiseptic and rotting fruit, the cold feel of metal. The scar on my arm burned, and I bit my lip to stop from whining.

For a moment, I fought Jericho’s bark, locking my knees against the urge to sit down. He stared me down until I couldn’t hold out any longer. My legs propelled me forward, and I crumpled into the chair next to Amirah. Silence blanketed the room as I tried to control my breathing, my heart still racing with the effort of fighting his bark.

My mother was the first to speak up. “What was that?” she asked in a shrill voice.

“What do you mean?” I responded, keeping my voice as monotone as possible. I was sure she was not referencing Jericho using his bark on me. She had never stepped in to protect me before.

“You had no right cutting that first interview short,” Richard snarled. “Pack Madden is highly respected. You should be flattered they even wanted to interview with you. You’re a disgrace.”

“My behavior? They insulted me and grabbed me.” I pinned my hands under my thighs to keep myself from launching across the table.

Jericho cut me off. “They were absolutely right that you need a firm hand. You’ve always been headstrong and unruly. You should never have been allowed to live on your own.”

“The law doesn’t prohibit me from moving out of your house,” I said.

“Not yet,” Richard responded menacingly.

The director cut in. “Josephine, you’ve met two packs. You disappointed us with your insult of Pack Madden, an upstanding group of alphas. While you’re technically free to choose between either pack, Pack Ashwood did not follow interview procedure when they touched you. We are unsure if they are an acceptable pack option.”

Time stood still. I glanced over at Amirah, whose face was a blank mask, but I could scent her burnt caramel anger. It came as no surprise they were trying to pull something like this. I knew from years of experience with my parents that if I showed any emotion right now, they would use it against me. I used all my inner strength to stay calm as I turned towards the director.

“Both packs breached that policy. Pack Madden actually injured me.” I held up my wrist. “Pack Ashwood was trying to help me. You shouldn’t disqualify them for that.”

Director Whiteburn’s lip curled and he looked like he’d eaten something sour. He knew I was right. I fought the urge to smirk and instead met his gaze, refusing to lower my eyes in submission.

Richard burst out, “You can’t possibly be thinking of choosing them. This is unacceptable.”

Amirah spoke up for the first time. “You would do well to remember that Josie has the ultimate say here. The DC has vetted both packs, and she is free to choose either. Or she could choose to do additional interviews. This is all well within her rights.”

The director opened the folder in front of him. “Actually, Mrs. Raven, we don’t have time for more interviews. Josephine’s updated bloodwork came in and she’s due to go into heat in the next two days. She can choose one of today’s packs or we can assign her a heat pack and resume interviews after her heat.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I’m choosing Pack Ashwood,” I blurted out. A slight, glowy warmth grew in my stomach at how right it felt to say it out loud.

The room exploded in an uproar, my pack fathers arguing with Amirah about my right to choose a pack. Director Whiteburn’s eyes nervously flicked to Jericho while Amirah reiterated the omega protections listed in the Designation Laws.

I had spent more time with my parents the past couple of days than I had the past few years. Besides the incident at the DA, they had never visited me and I had never been allowed to leave. Outside trips were a privilege reserved for good omegas. Instead, I was mostly kept in solitary as punishment for various manufactured infractions. A tiny part of me had hoped the past few years had softened my parents—or at least my mother—that maybe she would decide to love me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? But my parents’ hatred for me seemed to only grow.

I stared at my mother, her voice cold as she argued with Amirah, trying to find any hint of love or affection in her features. Her head snapped to meet my gaze and I shuddered at the blankness, the complete lack of… anything I found there. At that moment, it was as if a hand reached down and snipped the final fragile strings that tied me to her, hitting my heart sharply with the recoil. The finality of it all, the realization that she would never be able to love or accept me, settled like a heavy stone in my stomach.

I turned away from her and sought refuge inside of myself, tuning out the chaos and thinking instead about moving in with Pack Ashwood. It still hadn’t sunk in that tomorrow I would be forced to leave my apartment, my first safe refuge, and move in with strangers. My inner omega danced at the thought of getting to spend more time with the sexy, yummy-smelling pack. Just think, now you’ll be able to have their scents on you all the time. Maybe you can even steal some of their clothes. 

I felt… comfortable around them. And aroused. Two things I didn’t think possible. I also needed to know what happened with Theo at Trader Joe’s. 

“Excellent. I’m glad we’re all in agreement that the Designation Laws give Josie the right to choose her own pack. I’ll contact Pack Ashwood and tell them to expect you all tomorrow morning.”

I snapped back to reality at Amirah’s terse tone. Dizzying relief washed over me as I processed what she said. For once, the Designation Laws were on my side. Gratitude for Amirah filled me, and I shot her a tremulous smile.

I mumbled an excuse about needing the restroom and slipped away before my parents could vent more of their wrath on me. Alone, the numbness that had settled over my body faded, leaving me with the excruciating pain of my emotions. I stared at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person looking back at me. She was wearing my clothes, but I couldn’t quite place myself in her body. I was floating, unable to come back to earth.

My breaths came faster and I knew another panic attack was imminent. I hunched over the bathroom sink, trying to force deep breaths when it hit me—the faint scents of the alphas still clinging to my clothes. In my life, there were few alphas whose scents I found tolerable or, even more rare, likable. Sam’s floral scent was playful and comforting, the smell of the best days of my childhood spent with him. Luc’s earthy leather scent had come to mean safety. But no scent had ever called to me like these alphas. No scent calmed me this easily.

The shaking in my limbs settled, and my breaths came more easily with each slow inhale of their scents. Another wave of slick burst from my core. I crinkled my nose and shifted with discomfort. This was so messy. How did other omegas deal with it? My body was urging me to have sex when I was nowhere near ready for that, nowhere near the point of trusting these alphas. But my omega didn’t know that. All she knew was these three alphas were delicious and sexy and… safe? I wanted it to be true, but my hand gripped the scar on my upper arm, forever the reminder of the consequences of betrayal.

I pushed the memories aside, gripping the bathroom counter with my hands. Don’t go there. I indulged myself in another inhale, pressing my nose against the soft fabric of the jumpsuit. Cam’s cinnamon roll scent, Theo’s warm coffee, and Ben’s spiced apple wafted around me, surrounding me like a hug. Fuck, that was like omega Xanax. I allowed myself a few more moments in the bathroom’s quiet before moving to the door.

I was about to open it when I heard raised voices. They were muffled, but I could pick out Jericho’s deep alpha tones. I pressed my ear against the door to hear more clearly.

“Remember what you owe us, director. You want to keep us happy, or you know what the consequences will be.”

To an outsider, Jericho’s tone may have sounded calm, but I had spent a lifetime trying to decipher his moods. Right now, he was as dangerous as I’d ever heard him. A shiver ran down my spine.

“Of course, Senator Porter. You have my word. I’ll do everything in my power to fix this situation,” said Director Whiteburn, his voice simpering. I was correct in my read of him in the meeting—he was desperate to appease my pack fathers.

“In your power or not, it better be done. We had a deal with Pack Madden…”

Jericho’s voice faded as their footsteps receded down the hall. My hand gripped the door handle until my knuckles turned white. I let go, running my shaky hand through my hair, tears pricking my eyes. I knew something more was going on with Pack Madden and this was confirmation, although I didn’t know what that meant for me. Were Jericho and the director going to try and separate me from my alphas?

I jolted internally—my alphas? They’re not your anything, I firmly told my inner omega, who was all but purring, imagining the alphas wrapped around us. They’re not safe. They’re not ours. You better get used to it. 

I could almost feel her smugness when I took another surreptitious hit of their scents before exiting the bathroom.