Chapter 13
THE FEEL of the petals grazing along my bottom lip, while his hand was wrapped around the side of my neck, thumb slowly tracing the line of my jaw… was overwhelming.
I’d never been so turned on from just a hand on my face.
This made no sense.
This attraction. This pull. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced.
“Can’t go there, Saylor.” His voice was gruff, and my eyes sprung open.
Mortification set in as I searched his gaze and realized he wasn’t going to kiss me.
Here I was, panting over the man who was barely touching me, and he was turning me down.
The feeling was familiar in ways I couldn’t begin to explain. This feeling in my life like I wasn’t good enough. This battle I had with myself about not allowing anyone to make me feel that way again.
I stepped back immediately.
“Got it. Then let’s stop playing games, okay?” I moved around the counter and locked the register before grabbing my purse.
He just stared at me with this look I couldn’t quite pinpoint. I knew Kingston Pierce better than most. He was a good man with a big heart. He’d never intentionally hurt me.
But did that make the situation any better? Not really.
Did anyone intentionally hurt anyone? I don’t know. But it wasn’t much of a defense either.
I walked toward the door, and he followed me outside as I turned to lock the bookstore up. When I glanced over at him, he looked like he’d just committed a crime.
“I’m fine, King. You don’t have to feel bad about it. I never expected anything to happen.” I started walking, and he found his stride beside me.
“The only thing I feel bad about is you hearing me in the bathroom. That was so fucking wrong, Saylor. I just had a lot of pent-up frustration, and it was the release that I needed.”
I tried to hide my smile as I turned to look at him. “Life of a playboy, huh? Always chasing your next release?”
“It’s not like that.” He stared straight ahead.
“Your house is in the other direction. You do not need to walk me home.”
“So if I don’t kiss you, I don’t get to walk you home?” he teased, and I slapped him on the arm.
“No. It’s not that. But I already told you… I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Well, you’re stuck with me. So, deal with it.”
I huffed and didn’t respond. We walked in silence the rest of the way. When we made our way up the steps to my front door, I paused and turned around. “I’d say you’ve done your job. I’m good.”
“Are you mad at me, Dandelion?” he asked, and he looked so tormented it took everything I had not to hug him. This was a pattern for me. Always trying to make everyone else feel better. Always putting other people’s feelings first and my own needs second.
“I’m not mad. Not at all. I’m just…” I shook my head and looked away.
“Come on. Tell me what you’re thinking. We’ve never held back from one another. We’ve always been honest.”
“Okay. I have a father who didn’t fight for me. A father who let me go live with friends instead of stepping up and helping me and Hayes when we were taken from our home. A father with a lot of money who just chose not to help us. Help me. And I tend to be drawn to that. You know, finding people that don’t put me first. Grahame, my college boyfriend, is a perfect example. He loved me, but not enough to make me a priority. He always put football first. His family. His friends. And I finally had enough, but it took me a long time to realize that it’s a pattern for me. Me trying to be enough, you know? So here I am again, about to kiss a man I’ve known forever, a man I’m fairly certain is attracted to me, too, and—I’m still not enough.” I swiped at the tear that broke free and rolled down my cheek. “And I’m not doing that again. I just dated Coach who was crazy about me, and for whatever reason, I didn’t feel it for him. Maybe I’m doomed because I have daddy issues.”
“Saylor,” he said, his voice strained as he moved closer. “That is not what this is.”
“All right. I was honest with you. How about you grant me the same respect.”
He nodded, reaching forward and tucking my hair behind my ear. “You want the truth? I’ll give it to you. I’m so fucking attracted to you it’s painful. I haven’t been with a woman in months, and nobody knows that. I think about you all the time. But I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know if I’m capable. But that is on me, not on you. You are enough, I can assure you that. You are so much more than enough. I get off to thoughts of you every fucking day. Don’t you ever say that you aren’t enough because there is no one that compares to you.”
My breath hitched in my throat, and my eyes widened. “But…”
He shook his head. “It’s not like I can date you and see where it goes. It doesn’t work that way with us. Your brother is family to me. He’s my best friend. He trusts me. The five of us have a bond. And it’s not a line I can cross casually. So, I can’t go there, and it’s not because I don’t want to. And it’s not because you aren’t enough. It’s because I’m not enough. And if I fucked this up, it would affect a lot of people.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Do you hear yourself? That’s so ridiculous. No one knows when they first date what’s going to happen. I wanted to have feelings for Coach, and I just didn’t. But I didn’t run from it. I gave it a chance, and it didn’t work out. I was honest with him, and we’re still friends. That’s what grown-ups do.”
“To an extent, that’s what I do with other women. I know how dating works. I’ve always been honest with the women I’ve dated and the women I’ve hooked up with. But they are not you. And you and me—we can’t do what you and Coach did. We can’t test the waters, because if it ended poorly, Hayes would never forgive me. The guys would tell me I was being selfish. And they’d be right. This attraction, these feelings, they’ll pass. We’ve always been close friends, and if I fucked that up—I would never recover from that.”
I shrugged. “Well, we can agree to disagree. It’s no one’s business. I don’t need my brother’s permission to kiss someone or date someone. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. Chasing things that feel right and acting on them. Hayes has made his fair share of mistakes, too. I don’t get to tell him what to do. I asked you to kiss me, King. I didn’t ask you to walk down the aisle. You’re making this too big a deal.”
He moved closer, my back pressed against the front door. He moved both his hands to each side of my face now. His dark gaze searched mine beneath the moonlight.
“One kiss?” he asked, his tongue swiping out to wet his lips.
“One kiss. Then we’ll laugh about it later and go back to normal. No one has to know. It’s our secret. We’ve kept secrets before.”
That was all it took, apparently, because his lips crashed into mine.
He tipped my head back the slightest bit as his tongue slipped in and tangled with mine. My arms wrapped around him, my hands twisting in his dark hair, tugging him closer. My entire body tingled, as he groaned into my mouth, kissing me like I was the air he needed to breathe.
My body sparked to life in a way I’d never experienced from just a kiss.
I was lost in the feel of his lips against mine.
Of his tongue exploring my mouth.
And he pulled back, eyes wild with need. “Well, it’s official. I’m fucked.”
I smiled up at him. “Not too shabby for a one-and-done.”
“It was hot as hell, and you know it.” He took a step back, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“I won’t deny it. But I’m not the one who needs everyone’s approval to act on it.” I smirked. “Have a good night, King. I’m guessing a cold shower is in your future.”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he asked, as he walked backward down the walkway.
I held up my thumb and forefinger and kept them about an inch apart. “A little bit.”
“Get inside. I’ll text you later.”
I laughed as I put the key in the door and stepped into the house. I dropped my keys on the counter and fell onto the couch.
I’d just kissed Kingston Pierce.
And it was the best freaking kiss of my life.
He really is a forbidden king.
It had been a day, and I moved to my feet, making my way to the bathroom before turning on the water to fill the tub. I hurried to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine.
The bookstore opening had gone off without a hitch, and I’d sold far more books than I’d anticipated, which meant I’d need to check inventory and restock items this week.
I’d had an emotional outburst with King, followed by the sexiest kiss of my life.
A girl could only handle so much in one day.
I poured a hearty glass of chardonnay and made my way to the bathroom and turned off the water. I placed my wineglass and phone on the little table beside the freestanding bathtub. The smell of my lavender bath salts filled the room as I stripped down and tied my hair up in a messy knot on top of my head. I slipped into the hot water and groaned at how good it felt.
I thought about my conversation with King. About how I was done settling for anyone who didn’t want me to be their priority. I thought about how much my relationship with my biological father had affected my life. I resented him for it, but a part of me still wished for a relationship with him. I wanted to know my other siblings, too.
My father had reached out to congratulate me when I graduated from college. I had stopped trying, and now it seemed like he was making more of an effort. He lived just one town over in South Clarita Hills, and he’d asked if I’d be willing to meet for lunch, but I hadn’t answered yet. Hayes wanted nothing to do with him, and I understood it, even if I didn’t feel the same. I’d learned to have boundaries to protect my heart where my father was concerned. Hell, I had to have boundaries with both of my parents, which was a hard pill to swallow. Even as a young kid, I’d learned to be cautious when it came to my parents.
I’d never had the kind of security that most kids experienced with their parents. All of the security I’d known had come from Hayes. He’d always been the one at every sporting event. The one who met me after school and made sure I got home. My parents had never been there for me. But I’d learned to take care of myself, with the support of my brother.
My anger dissipated as I thought about Hayes asking Kingston to watch out for me.
He cared. How could I fault him for loving me and being the best brother?
My phone vibrated on the table beside me, and I grabbed the little towel there and dried my hand before seeing King’s name light up on the screen.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
I chuckled and reached for the glass of wine beside me, taking a sip before setting it back down. “I’m soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine. How about you?”
“Did you purposely just tell me that you’re naked? Are you trying to kill me?”
“You asked. I answered.” My teeth sank into my bottom lip. “Did you take a cold shower?”
“Yep. It didn’t help.”
My heart raced a bit as I thought about how to answer.
“Do you need a hand? I could talk you through it,” I said, and my voice was all tease.
“It’s not nice to fuck with a man in severe discomfort, Dandelion.”
“I’m not messing with you. I’m offering assistance. It’s harmless. We wouldn’t be touching one another. We’d just be talking. The rest would be nothing more than what happened in your bathroom the other day. You would just know that I was there this time.”
He cleared his throat. “It would have to work both ways. You all right with that?”
I reached for my glass and took another sip of wine.
It would have to work both ways.
I could live with that. I’d never done anything like this before, but I wanted to see where it would go.
“Sure.” I tried hard to keep my voice even. “It’s been a long day. I wouldn’t mind taking the edge off.”
“Do you touch yourself often?” he asked, his voice gruff.
“As often as I need to. How about you?”
“Every fucking day. Multiple times a day. Especially lately, since I’ve been abstaining from sex.”
“And you’re abstaining from sex because you’re attracted to your best friend’s sister and won’t act on it?”
“Correct,” he said, with no hesitation.
“It sounds ridiculous when you think about it.”
“Well, this would still be abstaining, because we wouldn’t be touching.”
“Fair enough.” I chuckled. “Let’s just have a little fun. It’s innocent, and no one will know about it.”
“That was some kiss, huh?”
“It was.”
“It was tough to pull back, Saylor. I wanted to push that door open and pull you inside. Run my lips down your entire body. I wanted to taste you and touch you and make you come so many times you wouldn’t ever want another man to touch you.”
Wow. Hello, Forbidden King. We are not holding back anymore, and I am here for it.
“What would you have done first, if you’d come inside the house with me?”
A slow moan left his lips. “Tell you to slip your hand between your thighs, where I know that sweet pussy is desperate for me.”
Oh. My. God.
“Only if you do the same,” I said, my voice gravelly and barely recognizable, and we had barely gotten started.
“No. If you want to do this, you’re going to have to say it.”
I’d never had phone sex or sexted anyone before, and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, so I would follow his lead.
I let out a long breath. “Wrap your hand around your dick and stroke yourself.”
“Already there, and I can barely contain myself thinking about you touching yourself in the tub. It was torture, watching you all day in that little dress, thinking about what I wanted to do to you. And then kissing you and knowing what I’d do if I took you inside the house.”
My fingers found my clit beneath the water, and I made little circles there, as my breaths were already coming hard and fast.
“Tell me,” I whispered into the phone.
“I’d have pushed you up against the front door as soon as I got you inside. I wouldn’t have been able to wait another second and would have dropped to my knees, my cock throbbing against my zipper at the thought of all that sweetness waiting for me.”
“Oh my God. Tell me more.”
“I’d have pushed your dress up around your waist and torn the panties covering that sweet pussy right from your body before I buried my face there. I’d spread your legs wide and lick you from one end to the next before hiking your legs over my shoulders and gripping that perfectly round ass of yours with both of my hands.”
Holy shit. This is hotter than I could have ever imagined.
“King.” I panted. “Keep going.”
“I’d lick you slowly at first, taking my time tasting you while you rubbed that sweet pussy up against my mouth. And then I’d slip my tongue inside you and fuck you relentlessly. The way I’ve wanted to for so fucking long.” His words were labored now.
“I want that. I want you.”
I’d never been so turned on in my life, and I groaned as I held the phone with one hand and touched myself with the other.
“Do you want my fingers, Saylor? My lips on your clit, sucking you so hard you won’t be able to stop from screaming?”
“Yes. I want it all.”
“First, I’d slip my finger inside you. Just one to start, because I know how tight that little pussy of yours is. I’d slide in and out before adding another and fucking you with my fingers while my mouth moved to your clit, and I flicked you with my tongue.”
My head fell back on a gasp as I bucked faster, my entire body tingling now.
White lights exploded behind my eyes.
“King,” I cried out his name on a groan, as I went right over the edge.
“Let go, baby,” he said. “So fucking good.”
A guttural sound left his mouth, and my breathing was out of control as I rode out my pleasure to the sound of King going over the edge right along with me.
It had been the most erotic thing I’d ever done.
I wasn’t embarrassed.
I was sated. And relaxed. And more turned on than ever.
We both stayed on the phone, panting, before our breaths finally slowed. I didn’t know what to say as my eyelids closed and my head leaned against the back of the tub.
“Sleep well, King.”
“I definitely will. Good night, Dandelion.”