For the Love of Cupidity: A Valentine’s Day Novella (Heart Hassle Book 4)

Okot takes the gross, juicy napkin from me, and replaces it with his super clean one and uses it to dab my face. When he’s done, he leans back, his red-ringed eyes roaming over my face adoringly. “There, my beloved.”

Gods, this guy. I lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, wishing I could run my hands through his mohawk and have my way with him. “Thank you, Okot.”

“There she goes, using her love magic on them,” I hear Resha grumble.

I look up, surprised. “I didn’t use love magic.”

“I’m sure that’s how you got them to mate with you in the first place,” Resha says haughtily.

“Nope. It was her tits,” Evert deadpans.

His dad chuckles, his mother hisses his name, and Sylred smacks him on the back of his head.

“I’ve never used love magic on any of your sons,” I announce. Then, thinking about that, I say, “Well, okay, I Lusted them a bunch of times, but mostly because it was funny, and—”

“See! She admits it!” Resha exclaims, now deigning to stand like the rest of us. “She tricked our sons into mating with her!”

I frown. “That’s not—”

The restaurant host comes over to ask us to be quiet, but one snarl from Ronak, and the male goes scurrying away.

“Not like that,” I argue. “I never would’ve forced them to love me. That’s not how it works, anyway. My Love Arrows wouldn’t work unless there were already some inclination there, and—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Ronak cuts me off angrily. I know his anger is directed at his mother and not me, but I still hate the direction this dinner has taken.

“I want to,” I insist, wringing my hands. This has turned into a giant ball of shitcluster. “I’m barely even a cupid these days, to be honest. I hardly ever use my power. I’m lazy. Plus, I’m pretty sure I have some cupid PTSD from all the lonely years I was stuck on the earth realm working. But…yeah, lazy. It’s mostly because I’m lazy,” I admit. “The cupid thing? Psh. Barely do it.”

Of course, that’s when a dozen cupids come filing down the stairs.

Shitty heartsharts. Why do I always have the worst timing?

Resha glares at me. “I think it’s fair to say that I can add dishonesty to your list of attributes.”

“Did I say barely? I meant that I do impromptu cupid training once in a while,” I quickly amend.

Sev notices me and saunters up, the trainees following behind him like little ducklings. “Hey there, boss. Fancy place, aye?”

“What are you doing here?” I hiss.

“Cupid shiteheads gotta eat, get it? This place looked the fanciest. Told the prickler upstairs to put us on your tab, since you’re the fooking boss, and all,” he says with a grin. “Figured, if you’re gonna teach ‘em how to shoot their fooking arrows, you can feed ‘em, too.”

I swear, there’s no way I have proper karma or lady luck magic because this shit would not happen to me if those powers were working correctly.

“Sev, go find a table, and make sure you and all of the cupids behave yourselves.”

Sev buries his hands in his pockets. He’s wearing super tight leather pants, too, so it’s a feat. “I was thinkin’ I’d start a bit of an orgy in this place. Call it homework.”

My eyes widen. “Don’t you even think about it.”

He laughs. “Relax, boss. I’m only yankin’ ya.”

“Don’t yank my mate,” Evert snaps.

I clap my hands to disrupt them before Sev can spout off something else that will piss Evert off. “Okay! This is fun. Let’s all go to the fair. I’m ready, who’s ready?”

I start hefting myself up out of the seat, but Ronak takes over and lifts me with one arm. This time, he doesn’t even let me try to walk the stairs by myself. He just scoops me up and carries me up, and doesn’t set me down until we’re out of the restaurant and on the street.

I catch a whiff of something that smells sugary and delicious, and see that now that night has fallen, the street fair is in full swing. There’s music echoing around us, lanterns, genfins buying trinkets and watching street performers, and more delicious food smells that keep wafting toward me.

“I love street fairs!” I beam.

“The last time you went to one, you drank too much fairy wine, and you tried to do something called twerking on the knife-throwers stage. You tripped, and when the knife thrower tried to catch you, he ended up with a blade in his neck for his troubles,” Sylred reminds me, his brown eyes sparkling with humor.

“The stage was slippery,” I defend.

Evert snorts. “That’s because you grabbed a full bottle of wine and dumped it on the stage, claiming you were “marinating the wood.’”

Yeah. I did it.

“Maybe the fair isn’t such a good idea…” Sylred’s father says, looking worried.

“Oh, don’t worry. No wine for me until after the baby is born. Let’s go!”

I start leading the way, and to my surprise, all of the parents follow, even Ronak’s. It’s the longest I’ve been around Resha to date. I hang back and loop my arm through hers. She tenses at the touch, but doesn’t immediately fling me off, so I take that as a win.

Ronak looks at me like I’m crazy, but I just wave him off. My other mates start talking with their parents, and pretty soon, we’re right in the thick of the fair, surrounded by genfins.

Lined up and down the street are food carts, trinkets for sale, dancing, acrobatics and flight shows, fortune tellers, and some genfins putting on a magic fire show.

“So. Resha. How many years have you been mated?” I ask, going for friendly conversation.

“One hundred and seventy-three years,” she answers.

“Wow. That’s a super long time. How’s that going?”

“My covey is honorable, and all of my mates have high ranking genfin blood. My parents arranged us, and it was the perfect match.”

My mouth drops open, and I yank her to a stop. “Oh my gods. That’s why you’re so grumpy. You guys don’t love each other!”

She scowls at me and disentangles my hold from her arm. “Do not start spouting off things that you know nothing about.”

I’m kicking myself right now for not realizing this sooner. Now that I’m mindful, I open up my cupid senses, and immediately, I can feel the shift. Resha is totally thirsty for some lovin’.

“Don’t you worry, MIL. I got you. I just need to round up my cupids and grab a few Love Arrows,” I explain. “We’ll get this sorted right away.”

Resha’s face scrunches up real tight, until she looks about ready to explode, but instead of yelling at me, she just spins on her heels and marches away.

“Okay! We’ll do it later, then!”

She ignores me.

“What was that about?” Okot asks, coming up beside me.

“I totally figured out how to get Resha to love me,” I say smugly.

Okot looks at me curiously, but before I can explain, I get distracted by a stand selling glass dildos. I must say it out loud, because Evert is suddenly at my side laughing. “Those aren’t dildos, Scratch. Those are rolling pins.”

I squint around people the get a better look. “Oh. You’re right. That’s boring.” I cock my head in thought. “I bet you could use it as a dildo, though.”

“For the last time, you don’t need any dildos. You have four fucking mates.”

“Yeah, but these ones have glitter, and they come in different colors. Ooh! And that one has magic fire inside of it!”

Evert quickly steers me away. We come up to a game tent next, and Ronak wins a handmade doll to give to Amorette. Next, we hit the fortune teller, the fire show, the flying genfin acrobatics, and of course, the honey stand. No one gets chocolate.

Okot buys me a crown of flowers to wear, and Sylred dances with me on the dancefloor while the fae band plays music. My feet are killing me, and I’m so tired I’m pretty sure I can fall asleep standing up, but one of the elders intercepts us as we’re on our way back to the carriage.

He’s balding, with one last patch of hair hanging on for dear life at the top of his head.

“Elder Mortel,” Ronak says with a respectful nod. “How can we help you?”

He turns to me. “Emelle, there are cupids in my restaurant,” he says, sounding unhappy.

Cupid crapcakes. I think I’m in trouble.