Finding Forgiveness

The next week was hellish. Andrea remained furious for days and of course, didn't hesitate to take it out on me. But no matter how much he hurt me, it didn't make me regret what I did. I'd endure anything for Leo.

Luciano still lurked around too, making snide comments at every opportunity and throwing all of his nasty tactics and resources into provoking me. I had to try my best not to retaliate because Andrea would always take his side but when he mentioned how sexy’ my four- year-old daughter, Lili, would be when she grew up, I couldn't resist any more and much to his amusement, I completely lost it.

After throwing a glass tequila bottle at him and inflicting a minor cut on his forehead, Andrea intervened and beat me so hard I passed out until the next morning when I woke up with a thudding headache and Luciano sat on the armchair opposite the bed grinning from ear to ear. "You are relentless,” I groaned, "Please, can you just leave me alone?" "It's good to spend time with family," he said.

"What did I ever do to you?" I asked. "I got you kicked out the pack...twice, fair enough. But you hated me long before that.”

"I hate pretty much everyone,” he replied with a shrug. "Don't take it personally.”

"Seriously, Luciano,” I said slowly sitting up. "What did I do?"

He paused for a few seconds furrowing his dark eyebrows as if he was having to try hard to remember.

"Your confidence annoys me," he said finally. "And it's entertaining to wind you up because you give a good reaction. Perfectly demonstrated last night.”

"So basically you're just a sadist?" I clarified.

"We established that years ago," he replied in a bored tone. "Sadist, psychopath, sociopath, maniac..whatever. I'm not going to deny it." Just then the bedroom door opened and Andrea marched in with a scowl on his face.

"She's awake," he stated.

"Indeed she is," Luciano replied a glint in his eye.

"Blanca, get up,” Andrea grunted clapping his hands, "It's my birthday today.”

"No wonder you're so happy," I remarked under my breath.

"It's my 20th so I'm having a party here tonight. I want the entire house swept and cleaned and you need to cook some food.”

I didn't reply and instead just buried myself in the duvet.

"Ay!" he shouted. "Guests arrive at 6 pm. If it's not done by then, there'll be consequences. And do something about that black eye while you're at it."

He then left the room leaving me to sigh and roll onto my back.

"Piss off, Luciano," I said. "I want to get dressed.”

"Go ahead, I don't mind," he replied with a wink.

"You are sick,” I hissed. "Do you need reminding that we are cousins?" "Second cousins,” he corrected.

"We share the same great grandparents who are both still alive might I add," I replied.

"Ah yes. Good old Rosina and Alfredo. How are they holding?" he asked.

"Fine but they'd be slightly alarmed if they found out their great- grandson wants to watch their great-granddaughter get changed,” I snapped.

"Okay, okay," he replied putting his hands up. "I'm leaving.”

When I finally had the room to myself I took a long shower. A lot of water and half a bottle of shampoo later, and I found myself staring at my reflection in the mirror.

Throughout my life, there have been times where it's been intolerable. When my Dad “died’ was one of the worst alongside watching my brother actually die. My first few days with Leo weren't exactly heaven either and then there was being held hostage with the mafia, nearly dying in a snowstorm up a Russian mountain and the miscarriage which weren't much better. And now this.

The left side of my face was looking rough. A black bruise nearly consumed my eye and my lip was cut and swollen. I sighed and once again I found myself reaching for the nearly empty bottle of concealer in the cupboard above the sink.

But today was the last morning I would have like this. It was Andrea's 20th birthday and I was formulating a plan. Tonight, there'd be loads of people here for the party and there'd probably also be loads of alcohol. He'd probably drink too much like he always does with his friends (a typical teenager really). That normally meant he'd just get really handsy and horny with me but it also meant he was clumsy and careless. I'd use his handicap to my advantage. I didn't know exactly how yet. Maybe he'd be so distracted I could slip out into the jungle or so intoxicated he'd let his guard down and I could knock him out or better, end the bugger once and for all.

There was plenty of leeway for failure and it was a huge risk but it could be my only chance for years and I wasn't going to let it slip away. That little voice inside my head, the bossy brave one, wasn't going to let me either. I'd had the opportunity to kill Andrea or at least let him die before and I hadn't taken it, but now he had pushed me past the point of anything as coherent as morals. I was losing my sanity and somehow, it was going to work in my favour. For the first time in weeks, I had hope and it felt pretty damn good.

I got to work cleaning and baking just like Andrea had asked. He went out in the late afternoon, probably to do something illegal, and I took the opportunity to have another shower and clean the sweat of a hard days work off and then get dressed. I didn't like showering when he was home because he'd taken the lock off the door and there was a high chance he would come in and do something I really didn't want.

I put on a navy dress, kind of short but not too short and not particularly tight either. I then put my hair up in a bun when it was dry. Just as I was putting Lili's clip in my hair, Andrea got home and came upstairs.

"You look hot. Give me a kiss," he said once he was in the bedroom.

I turned around to see him and my eyes widened.

"Oh God, there's blood," I exclaimed turning back around after seeing a huge blotch of blood on his white shirt surrounded by splatters.

"Relax, Blanca,” he reassured. "It's dry."

That doesn't make it any better.

He then came over to me and kissed my neck as I internally shuddered. I was certainly not relaxed.

He smelt my hair before reaching for something in it.

"Firstly, what have I told you about showering without me? And secondly, where did you get this?" he asked presenting Lili's clip.

"It's my daughter's,” I replied truthfully. "It was in my hair when I got here."

"How cute,” he deadpanned before thrusting it into my hand.

I slid it back in and sighed.

Thanks for cleaning the house, Ella. The food looks nice, Ella.

"People will be arriving in half an hour," he said taking off his bloody shirt and throwing it in the trash can. "You remember the rules, yes?"

I nodded.

Andrea had three golden rules when we were in public or with other people:

1. Never disclose any of his private business affairs to anyone

2. Never give anyone even the slightest hint that we are not a normal happily married couple.

3. Always act like a “good wife"

Rule number three covered a lot.

"Good," he said. "I'm glad you're got over whatever happened to you in the jungle last week.”

I forced a smile, biting my tongue.

Just you wait, Andrea Martinez.