Finding Forgiveness

The next morning I felt like literal death. My lips were so dry that as I slowly parted them to let fresh air into my stale mouth, the skin on my lips pulled and peeled. I tried to grasp for the glass of water by the bed but my entire body was too limp, but somehow also stiff, to even move. So with my corse throat itching to be soothed 1 just lay like a corpse shrouded in the sheets of the bed, trapped in the coffin that was my life right now. Just like a morgue, the room was empty of any other life too which was the only real positive here. Andrea was gone and although company is usually beneficial in times of despair, I'd rather be on an isolated desert island than with him.

Despite my severe lack of motivation and will power, I was eventually able to sit up and chug the water which instantly brought me halfway back to life. Brushing my teeth and showing helped too and soon enough, I had enough strength to go to the library. The first book I picked up being the “Drugs for Dummies’ where I researched exactly what the fuck Andrea had forced into my system the previous night. "The boss wants you in his office," Chico said entering the library and hour later.

I closed my book and leant back into the chair.

“Immediately.”

"Tell him I still have an unhealthy amount of... benzod...iazepines in my body," I said looking back in the book at the section on what I believed to be the culprit of how shitty I felt.

He looked at me with a confused expression for a short moment before brushing it aside, "Don't make him come up and get you," was all he said before disappearing again.

Not wanting to be eager, I waited a minute or two before slowing going downstairs and towards Andrea's office.

"Good morning, Ella," he said to me as I entered. "How are you feeling?”

"Like utter shit."

"But you slept like a baby?" he replied with a mischievous grin.

I scowled and turned to the door.

"Hey, did I say you could leave?" he asked. "Sit the fuck down, Blanca. I need to ask you some questions.”

After a short sigh to make my dissatisfaction known, I sat down on the opposite side of his desk as he reached into a drawer.

"So," he began. "My plan to kill your mate and take over the Stella back and consequently the rest of North America has been brought forward."

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

"He's causing me more issues than I anticipated so his death date has now been scheduled for ASAP," he continued.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked in a hoarse tone.

"Because..." he said pulling four pictures out of the drawer and putting them in front of me. "You are going to help by giving me information on these men."

The four pictures were of Blair, Luca, Max and strangely Luciano. Of course, I knew Luciano's picture was at least four years old considering Leo had killed him four years ago but judging by the chubby baby cheeks on Luca and innocent expression of Max's face, I would guess that they were all old photos. In Blair's picture, he was stood by a car that he hadn't even had since the first year I was with Leo which was now seven years ago.

"These men are some of the most important leaders of the Stella pack, right? In order to even get close to the Alpha, I've got to first target those he relies on most and to do that, I need information,” he said. "As Luna, I presume you knew them pretty well?"

I shrugged, "My mate preferred to keep me out of pack affairs.”

"Hm. Of course,” he replied staring me straight in the eye. "But I don't need to know pack affairs. I want personal details. Their full names, their mates, their children, their personalities, their weaknesses. Tell me everything.”

"I won't help you try to kill my mate and my friends," I stated folding my arms. "I don't care what you do, I will protect them.”

Andrea sighed, "I knew this would be a problem.”

He then got up and came around to my side of the desk before sitting on it in front of me and resting his chin on his hands.

"You know that you don't have a choice, right?" he asked. "And we both know the lengths I will go to get the information out of you if you refuse.”

I glared for a few moments before standing up, scraping the chair back along the floor as much as possible.

“I'm not doing this," I said.

As I took my first step towards the door, I felt him grab my wrist and haul me back in front of him.

"What do you know about these men?" he asked again, this time in a low growl.

"Nothing," I hissed and his jaw tightened.

I was terrified of him. I won't lie. But my love for Leo and the pack had a greater magnitude than any fear and I wasn't just going to give them up.

He hit me hard across the face, the impact sounding throughout the house. But I didn't whimper or let him see any sign of pain, I just stared down at the floor, trying not to be crushed by the extraordinary tension now in the room.

"Talk," he snarled gripped my face in one of his hands.

His other hand, which was firmly around my wrist was excruciating but his glare on me was worse. I searched my brain for any way of getting out of this situation until I came to the decision I'd do exactly what he said. Talk. But without giving anything useful away. Only the trivial shit like how Luca showers sitting down or how Max only eats Chinese food on Tuesdays.

I'd always been good at talking. So let's put it to the test.

"I'm waiting," he said.

"These photos are old," was all I said.

"What makes you say that?" he asked finally releasing my face from his hand.

I hesitated for a moment, "They all look so young," I said without wanting to give away too much. "Max now has one grey hair by his ear that isn't there in that photo and Luca's eyebrow-"

"Cut the shit,” he snapped.

"And this man, Luciano, isn't even alive,” I continued, ignoring him.

I pointed to the photo of Luciano, where he was stood with the same darkened torment on his lips with that sadistic glint in his eye that I knew all too well.

"He's dead?” Andrea asked, suddenly sitting forward.

"Yes," I confirmed.

“Interesting,” he muttered looking down at the photo. He rested his teeth on the end of his pen before looking back up to me. "He just died of natural causes...or?"

I paused and closed my mouth before leaning back in the chair. "Come on, babe. What am I going to do with information on a dead man?" he asked.

"Then why do you need to know?"

"Morbid curiosity,” he replied. "Tell me."

He had a point, what use would information about Luciano be to his mission to kill Leo. And maybe if I told him this he'd let me go without trying to get anything about Luca, Max or Blair.

"Leo killed him," I said eventually. "Four years ago."

"Why?" he asked. "He was a pack member, no?"

"It's a long story."

"And we have a long time," he replied with a shrug.

I sighed as he watched me, waiting for me to speak.

"He was Leo's good friend from a young age. They got along well in that they both had the same psychotic antics and lack of immorality which made him the perfect partner in crime. But Leo had at least some level of morals even if very weak and a line he never stepped over but Luciano didn't."

"How so?"

"Leo has a sense of justice. He lets the innocent be and tries to rule fairly. Of course, I'll be the first to admit he doesn't follow that perfectly but in comparison to Luciano, he's an angel. Due to their long-lasting friendship, Leo was tolerant of Luciano doing things that no other pack member would get away with but when he repeatedly raped an innocent human woman after being explicitly told not to touch her, he exiled him."

"Awe, I didn't know your mate was so soft," Andrea cooed.

"Leo doesn't tolerate rape,” I replied.

"But murder and torture is absolutely fine?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "These morals of his are questionable but this is irrelevant. How did he end up dead?"

"Fast forward three years and I am in Italy without Leo when I come across him. Since Leo didn't strictly allow me to go to Italy, Luciano took the opportunity to win back Leo's trust by returning me to him. Leo fooled for it and the next thing I know, Luciano is sexually assaulting me. Which is sickening in its own right but when you consider that Luciano is my second cousin, it is utterly nauseating. And of course,” I paused and looked him dead in the eye. "The best way to piss off an Alpha is to touch his Luna, so when Leo found out, he killed him."

Andrea let out a short laugh and leant back in his chair.

"That is quite the story,” he commented. "Your cousin, you say? And ex- best buddies with your Alpha?”

I nodded.

"And he's definitely dead?"

Yes!”

Andrea smiled to himself and there was silence for a few moments, "You can go," he said. "We're done here."

I looked at him puzzled and when I didn't move his eyes shifted to me, "Unless you want to share every detail of your precious Luca so that I can hunt down his family and brutally kill them all?"

At that, I got up and immediately left.

My plan had been a success but somehow I had an overwhelming unsettled sensation in my stomach. His reaction had been weird and I stood outside his office in confusion for a few moments before I tried to brush it aside and headed back to the library.